04x05 - Reuben Kincaid Lives

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hello, world, hear
the song that we're singin'

♪ Come on, get happy

♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We had a dream
we'd go travelin' together

♪ And spread a little lovin'
then we'd keep movin' on

♪ Somethin' always happens
whenever we're together

♪ We get a happy feelin'
when we're singin' a song

♪ Travelin' along there's
a song that we're singin'

♪ Come on, get happy

♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We'll make you happy ♪

Mom, should I put the
Cornish hens in now?

They'll take an hour.

Now's fine. Okay.

Cornish hens?

I saw it in the fridge today,
funny they didn't look Cornish.

I thought we only have those for visiting
members of state and grandparents.

Well, I thought we ought to
have something special tonight

since Bonnie and Reuben
are coming to dinner.

Did somebody order a carburetor?

Reuben, what happened? I thought
you were picking pick up Bonnie.

I was, until my car quit on me.

Well, lucky you
were wearing that.

I mean, at least you
didn't dirty your clothes.

These are my clothes.

Sorry.

Chris! Get Reuben a towel.

A torn one.

You want to borrow my car?

Oh, it's too late.

I'll just call Bonnie at the
airport and have her take a cab.

Oh, and Shirley, I hope you won't mind
if we don't stay too long after dinner?

If you know what I mean. I got a
big evening planned, you know.

Drinks at Tim's Starlight Lounge
and dancing at Merlin's Hideaway.

Fooling around at Reuben's.

Look, I know this is a good chance for
you to embarrass me tonight, but don't.

Us?

Nothing will pass my
lips except Cornish hens.

And maybe the
name Bubbles Larue.

Mention one bubble tonight

and I will permanently stunt
your growth. Understand?

No. Will you run it
past me one more time?

Reuben, it's Bonnie.

Oh, thanks, Chris. Shirley.

Hi, Bonnie. Hey, I'm sorry
I'm not at the airport, but I...

Oh?

Why can't they get another
stewardess to take that flight?

Uh-huh.

No, I understand.

No, no. I didn't
have much planned.

I'll just stay home and
adjust my carburetor.

What? What? I can't right now.

Okay.

I love you.

Shirley, I'm sorry.

I'm afraid Bonnie
can't make it tonight.

She's got to take over
for another stewardess.

Reuben, I understand.

Why don't you come by for lunch tomorrow
and you can have some of the leftovers.

Thanks.

See you, Reuben.

See you later, Mr. Kincaid. Bye.

Where did Reuben go?

He and his carburetor
decided to turn in early.

That's not very funny.

Frankly, I'm disappointed in the
way you have all treated Reuben.

Come on, we're only kidding.

That's the problem,
we're always only kidding.

Reuben has feelings, too.

Here he is, practically part of
our family and all we ever do

is give him a hard time.

We weren't exactly kind.

We were rotten.

I feel like a dog.

I wish there was something
we could do to make it up to him.

Hey, he's got a birthday coming.

We could do something special,
you know, like a surprise party.

Not a bad idea.

Party would be a good idea.

But I think what we really need

is a new attitude toward
Reuben every day.

It's time we
considered his feelings.

All right. If there are
no further questions,

I expect to see a
change immediately.

You mean, I'm supposed
to make Reuben feel good?

That's right.

That's what I call sacrifice.

Shirley.

Shirley, will you please
tell me what is going on?

I wish I knew. I keep thinking apple
but my hands keep painting pear.

Bananas were much simpler.

No. What is going
on with your family?

Now, Keith came over at : a.m. to
discuss how he never really knew me.

Laurie is worried
about my blood sugar.

And Danny won't insult me
no matter what I hit him with.

I don't get it.

You know what it
sounds like to me?

What?

They care about you.

Yes.

Yes. That's exactly what they're
acting like. But why? Why me?

Oh, Reuben,
don't worry about it.

How about discussing
tomorrow's show over lunch?

Is Quiche Lorraine all right?

Sure. It's my...

favorite. Weren't
we having leftovers?

I thought it'd be
a nice surprise.

♪ I got your love all over me

♪ And I love it

♪ Feeling the way that I do ♪

Thank you. Thank you very much.

I hope we see all
of you again soon.

Now, I would like to take a
moment to thank a very special man.

A man who, well, makes us tick.

Ladies and gentlemen, our
manager, Mr. Reuben Kincaid.

Reuben, stand up.

All right, start talking.

It would help if I knew what
you wanted to talk about.

Five bucks says you know.

This is going to hurt me a
lot more than it hurts you.

I can't take your money.

Can't take my money?

Okay, what's going on? Now you
haven't picked on me for a week.

And now you won't
even take a bribe?

I want to know why everyone
is so concerned about me.

Okay. This is going to be
really hard for you to take.

All that's happening, is
you're being appreciated.

Appreciated?

Yes.

Mr. Kincaid, you'll be loved
for the rest of your days.

How are the plans
coming for Reuben's party?

Great so far.

The restaurant's all set, all
the packages are wrapped

and Keith called and he
said that the plane was late,

but he should be
home any minute now.

Hi, Reuben.

Reuben, what's wrong?

I know what's going on.

Going on with what?

It came to me last
night after the show.

The tip off was when you said, "You'll
be loved for the rest of your days."

Whatever he's talking
about, I'm innocent.

Laurie, I appreciate your
concern for my blood sugar.

And the guys trying to keep
me from sleeping my life away.

And Shirley, fixing me
all those great dinners.

Boy, I'm gonna miss you guys.

Reuben, what are
you talking about?

It's the big casino. And
I'm cashing in my chips.

The big casino?

I think he means
his number's up.

You know that's what I mean.

Results of my annual physical
must have been so bad,

Doc Federmeyer didn't figure
I could handle the bad news.

So he told you, huh?

Reuben, be serious.

Well, how else do you
explain all the things

that have been
happening? Coincidence?

No! Not coincidence.

It just so happens that the other night
when Bonnie cancelled the date with you,

we all felt very badly.

We realized that being a
bachelor isn't always that easy.

So we decided it was time
that, well, you were appreciated.

We just wanted
you to know that...

Well, that you're an
important part of our family.

That's the truth?

So you can hang
on to your chips.

I feel so silly.

Well, the thoughts that
were going through my head...

Well, I figured the
end was up, you know.

I was working on my will.

Yeah, I could see all of my relatives
flying into town for that last visit.

Mom. Ruby.

Ruby?

Why, Ruby, you
look a little pale.

Have you been
taking care of yourself?

Reuben has been
working hard lately.

I see. Well, don't
overdo it, Son.

Remember what happened to
your Cousin Dave? Wonderful man.

A little younger than
Ruby. Worked like a horse.

Ate a lot of fried foods. And one
day, when he was eating onion rings...

Oh, I'm very sorry about that,
but I'm sure you don't have

to worry about
Reuben, Mrs. Kincaid.

I eat onion rings.

What, dear? Nothing.

Would you like to go
upstairs and freshen up?

Yes. That might be nice.

Keith, would you show Mrs.
Kincaid her room, please.

Reuben, you've
got to cut this out.

Your mother is going to start thinking
there's something wrong with you.

Why try to pretend any long...

When the jig is
up. The jig is up.

My mother wouldn't
fly miles to see me

unless I was either
getting married or...

Oh, Reuben!

I think I'll go home
and lie down a while.

Might as well try to
hang on as long as I can.

I can't believe it's taking
so long to straighten this out.

Ruby was always a
very stubborn child.

It's not easy trying to plan a party for
someone whose new lifestyle is gloomy.

Shirley, I can't seem
to find any wax paper.

Oh, we must be out.
I'll run to the store later.

No need. I've got
some in my suitcase.

You carry wax paper
in your suitcase?

Sure. Where I come from,
it's four cents cheaper.

I have paper towels,
too, if you want any.

Oh, we are well stocked
in paper towels. Thank you.

Mom, have you noticed that
Mrs. Kincaid is a little chintzy?

Sweetheart, the word is
frugal. She's from the old school.

There must not
have been any tuition.

No wonder Reuben was so
surprised when she flew in to see him.

Yeah, well, I think we should
forget about the surprise party.

I mean, Ed Sullivan with a cold
could be more fun than Reuben.

I'm sure he'll be all right
by the time of the party.

If he isn't, maybe
it will cheer him up.

Oh, sure. If we throw him
on the table and tickle him.

Well, what have we decided
to do about Little Boy Blue?

Well, we have decided to go ahead
with the plans and hope he snaps out of it.

It can only last
a few more days.

That fast?

Oh, no!

Reuben, I know what you're thinking
but that's not what we're talking about.

That's all right, Shirley.
It's better that I know.

What have you been
doing today, Ruby?

Trying on black suits?

I'm glad you can keep your sense
of humor, in times like this, Mom.

Good grief!

You know what I've been doing?

Was taking a walk in the park.

Watching the
little children play,

sitting by that trickling brook.

And you know what I realized?

You realized that the grass
was staining your slacks.

I realized what
life was all about.

Reuben.

This has gone far enough.

If you won't believe any of us,

why don't you call your doctor and ask him
to recheck the results of your physical?

I did.

And?

There's nothing in the Hippocratic
Oath about fibbing to a patient.

Or about telling that patient's
friends the truth in order

to protect him
from the inevitable.

That's my Ruby.

I'll take another
walk. Looks like rain.

Done.

Done.

"Happy. Happy." How nice.

You were supposed
to write "birthday."

You were supposed
to write "birthday."

Oh, I'm sorry I'm late.
Traffic was terrible.

Bonnie, I want you
to meet Mrs. Kincaid.

Well, so this is the girl that
stole my little Ruby's heart.

Nice to meet you, Mrs. Kincaid.

My! You are a lovely girl.

Thank you.

I know you two have a lot to talk
about, but Reuben will be here soon.

Oh, we can talk
at the restaurant.

Oh, jiggers, it's Ruby.

Oh, no, hide,
hide in the closet.

I'm so glad we finally found
a moment together to chat.

Oh?

So tell me, Bonnie, how many
children do you and Ruby plan to have?

Hi, Reuben. Well, I'm
ready. I guess we can go.

Where is everybody?

Keith and Laurie went bowling
and the kids are across the street.

And your mother
went bowling, too.

Well, as long as nobody's
home, why don't we stay here?

Those papers you
asked about are in the car.

My stomach's been
acting up lately, anyway.

Reuben, I'm awful hungry and
I really don't feel like cooking.

Okay. Where do you want to go?

I'll tell you on the way.

All clear! I personally
don't believe

in mothers moving in
with their kids, right away.

Unless of course,
the kids want it.

That's a different story.

Uh-huh.

Quick, quick, come on.

Mrs. Partridge, Mr. Kincaid.

Don't you have
any smaller tables?

Yes, but there are
already people at them.

Except some at
which there are not.

Thank you, this will be fine.

Reuben, do cheer up.

I'm okay, Shirley.

You remember when we all
came here after our first concert?

So many memories.

I wish I could convince you. You're
being foolish about this whole thing.

Shirley, my life is a table.

So many places yet to be filled.

Let's not waste these last
precious moments in small talk.

Oh, that's nice.
What does it mean?

I don't know. Heard it
on a wine commercial.

♪ Happy Birthday to you

♪ Happy Birthday to you

♪ Happy Birthday, dear Reuben

♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪

This is a birthday?

I've seen happier
looking veal parmesan.

Well, happy birthday Reuben.

Blow out the candles.

So many of them.

The old wind isn't
what it used to be.

You'd never know it.

Come on, Ruby! Blow!

Speech!

As I look back on my life...

Enough speeches.
Open your presents.

"Reuben, happy birthday.
Love, Mom." That's nice.

I didn't think you'd
have any of your own.

And since I paid $
for them on the plane,

seemed like a shame
to just give 'em back.

I hope they fit you. Try 'em on!

You look marvelous.

Happy birthday, Reuben.

Happy birthday! Happy birthday!

Please, please, I
love the presents,

but I'm afraid where I'm going,
they don't allow excess baggage.

All right, Reuben
Clarence Kincaid,

I stood for a lot in my time but
never for turning down presents.

When you come to your senses
you can write me a post card.

You mean, you're going home?

On the very next flight.

And I'll save these for
your Christmas present.

What is it, Reuben?

Well, I'm not going
to the big casino.

I think he cracked
under pressure.

I'm alive and well.

But a minute ago you thought...

A minute ago I didn't know
my mother was leaving.

Well, that makes a lot of sense.

Reuben, what are you saying?

Look, there is no way my
mother would lay out $

for a plane fare and then have
to make the trip back again.

She's too... Pardon me, Mom.

Too cheap.

So if she's going, it means I'm
going to be around for a long time.

Thanks, Mom.

It's about time.

Hey, I wanna thank you all
for this great surprise party.

I propose a toast.

To Reuben, may we
never be nice to him again.

He can't take it.

Cheers! Cheers!

They love me.

♪ No thunder, no lightning

♪ No showers in your eyes

♪ No dark nights
because they're frightening

♪ No me with a disguise

♪ And when you feel
good Well, I feel good, too

♪ I wouldn't put
nothin' over on you

♪ This mornin' without warnin'

♪ She dropped in on me

♪ We sat there but that
there girl means nothin' to me

♪ While she was schemin'
Well, I was dreamin' of you

♪ I was dreaming

♪ I wouldn't put
nothin' over on you

♪ I know it was just a
misunderstanding that you saw

♪ I happened to be
kissin' your best friend

♪ Who lived next door

♪ And in an unfortunate
sequence of events

♪ The next day the
whole town was talkin'

♪ About me behind the fence

♪ But don't believe a thing
you hear until you talk to me

♪ 'Cause I wouldn't
put nothin' over on you

♪ No, no I wouldn't put nothin'

♪ I wouldn't put
nothin' over on you

♪ No, no I wouldn't put nothin'

♪ I wouldn't put
nothin' over on you

♪ No, no I wouldn't put nothin'

♪ I wouldn't put
nothin' over on you ♪

Hi. Hi, everybody.

Hi. How's it going, Ruby?

Mr. Kincaid to you, squirt.

Well, I see you're
back to normal.

Yeah.

I'm sorry I missed your
birthday party, Mr. Kincaid.

That's all right, kid.

But I have a present for you.

Yeah? It's a song.

♪ Sometime in your life
When the days aren't going right

♪ And the sunshine is
nowhere your eyes can turn

♪ Do remember
It's not a disgrace

♪ That you stepped
out of your place

♪ There's a whole wide
human race that's loving you

♪ Remember Rome
wasn't built in a day

♪ And there's a
whole lot more to say

♪ Don't give up on
life before you know it

♪ The sun will shine
in sometime of your life

♪ When the days
aren't going right

♪ And the sunshine is
nowhere your eyes can turn

♪ Do remember
Please don't get uptight

♪ Everything will be all right

♪ Because I'll always
be right here just loving you

♪ Yes, I'll always be
right here just loving you

♪ Yes, I'll always be
right here just loving you ♪

And I really love you.

Thanks, Ricky, that
was a great present.

Well, we better get going
if I'm gonna catch my flight.

Oh, we still have a little time.

Our flight doesn't
leave until : .

Our flight? Oh, yes.

I decided to switch planes.
It's a little out of the way

and a lot more expensive.

But we'll have a chance
now for a nice long chat.

Chat? Certainly.

If Bonnie and I are going to be related,
we should get to know each other.

Uh-huh.