04x13 - Art for Mom's Sake

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hello, world, hear
the song that we're singin'

♪ Come on, get happy

♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We had a dream
we'd go travelin' together

♪ And spread a little lovin'
then we'd keep movin' on

♪ Somethin' always happens
whenever we're together

♪ We get a happy feelin'
when we're singin' a song

♪ Travelin' along there's
a song that we're singin'

♪ Come on, get happy

♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We'll make you happy ♪

Yes, that's coming now.

Oh, you see, it's
not so difficult, is it?

Ah, that's better. Now,
you just try to stay relaxed,

and let your feelings
flow onto the canvas.

Very good.

Mrs. Klevens. We're supposed to
paint the fruit, not have it for lunch.

But, I get so
hungry when I paint.

Well, I'm sure
Michelangelo got hungry too,

but you don't notice any bites missing
from the Sistine Chapel, do you?

Next time, bring a cookie.

Ah, Mrs. Partridge,
how are we coming?

Not very well, I'm
afraid, Mr. Bernard.

Oh, now, you remember what
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

said about artists who
judge their own work?

No, I am afraid I don't.

That's a shame, I
was hoping you would.

Does anyone in the class
remember what Longfellow

said about artists who
judge their own work?

It was such a good saying, too.

Well, in any case, Mrs. Partridge,
you let me be the judge, okay?

What I really meant was, I
have a lot to learn about painting.

Well, it's obvious you've
taken classes before.

No, this is my first.

Actually, my kids convinced me to take
a few lessons. I'm enjoying it very much.

I haven't been
painting very long.

It's just a hobby, you know.

I can take criticism.

Criticism? Why, look at that line,
that shading, that color, that texture.

Maybe I should start over?

Mrs. Partridge, this is one of the
most moving, most emotionally fulfilling

paintings I have ever seen.

You have the
potential for greatness.

Can I have a bite?

Only because we're related.

Thanks.

Why didn't you
take the whole thing?

'Cause your fingers
were in the way.

Hi. How was the art class?

Very exciting.

What did you do?

Well, we sat at our
easels and painted,

and Mr. Bernard, the teacher,

came around and made comments.

Oh, yeah?

I guess after you hit ,
even dull seems exciting.

How did he like your work?

He loved it.

In fact, he said he's gonna start
working with me on an individual basis.

Really?

He isn't even charging for it.

Well, I guess he must think
you have some talent, huh?

Seems that way.

It's hard for me to
believe, though. I never

thought my paintings
were very special.

But Mr. Bernard said I show
a lot of natural artistic ability.

Well, when do we get to see this
work of art that rocketed you to fame?

Do you really want to see it?

Yeah! Absolutely.

Well, I guess you'll
see it sooner or later.

Right, Mom. Let her rip.

What do you think?

Uh, it's certainly
a painting, all right.

Yeah, it sure is.

You don't like it.

Well, I think it would be
easier to decide if we liked it if...

We knew what it was.

It's obvious. It's a
traffic jam in rush hour.

It's a bowl of fruit.

Oh. I mistook that
apple for a taillight.

It really doesn't look much
like a bowl of fruit to me.

Well, it doesn't to me either.

But according to Mr. Bernard,

an artist paints what he feels,

not necessarily what he sees.

He told me I touched
the soul of the fruit.

Hey, you didn't eat the banana.

I sort of lost my taste
for them after last night.

Looking into the soul of a banana
can be a frightening experience.

Here comes Mom.

Hi, kids. Morning.

See you after school.

Have a good day.

Getting an early
start on the painting?

Well, I thought I'd get set
up before Mr. Bernard arrives.

He's coming over this morning?

Oh, that must be
him now. I'll get it.

What are we gonna
say to this guy?

How about, "What are your
intentions towards our mother?"

That's nice and subtle.

Kids, this is Lorenzo Bernard.

Hello.

Hi. You can call
me Lorenzo Bernie.

Just a little joke.

I think artists should
have a sense of humor.

Ah, here it is. Yes.

Nothing like good art to
stir up the creative juices.

Shall we get started?

Why not?

Here, let me help you.

Have a good day at school, kids.

You, too, Mom.

Well, I guess we
better get going.

Our mother's out in the
backyard with some nut,

and you want to go to school?

Keith, Mom's old enough
to take care of herself.

I hope.

Yeah, well, I don't think
we should leave her alone.

I mean, if he
likes her painting...

He's capable of anything.

Hi, everybody.

Hi, Reuben. Hi, Reuben.

Hey, whose old pickup is
that out in the driveway?

Oh, probably Lorenzo Bernard's.

Lorenzo Bernard?

Yeah. But you
can call him Bernie.

What is that?

It's a painting.

I thought the garbage
disposal had backed up.

Mom did it in her class.

What's she taking,
Beginning Vandalism?

What is going on around here?

That is Lorenzo Bernard,
Mom's art teacher.

Looks like he's teaching her
more than brush technique.

Let's not jump to conclusions.

Look, let me tell you something.

Anyone who thinks Mom's paintings
are good isn't just an art lover.

Oh, he said that was good?

That's right.

Look, I don't think
it's good either,

but we're not art experts.

Well, I think I know a
little something about art.

No offense, Reuben, but I
think we should take the painting

to someone who is an expert.

What for? Why?

Well, maybe it'll turn out
that Mom does have talent.

What do you mean, bringing this
in here? Do you want to ruin me?

Is this a joke?

I get the impression you
don't think it's very good.

Young man, I have seen
bad paintings in my lifetime,

but this is the worst.

And, uh, I wish you would remove it
from my gallery before anyone else sees it.

Well, I guess that
answers our question.

I knew that Bernard
guy was up to something.

Maybe he's a fortune hunter.

Come on, Reuben. Mom
doesn't have a fortune.

Look, to a starving artist, a
ham sandwich is a fortune.

Why don't you just
let me handle this?

I'll pay this Bernard a visit
and straighten things out.

You are gonna
straighten things out?

Have I ever let you down?

I'll be right with you.

Little too much
green in the sky.

Mmm-hmm. Yes.

Hmm.

Oh, there now, you see?

The sky looks like
the grass. That's nice.

You can call it "People standing
on their head in the park."

Now, what can I do for you, sir?

Well, I wanted to find out
about taking some classes.

Well, you've certainly
come to the right place.

Art is my life. I love art.

I love teaching art. When
do you want to start?

Well, actually, I-I don't
want the classes for myself.

It's for my aunt...
My wealthy aunt.

Money means
nothing here, Mr., uh...

K... uh, Kissinger.

Kissinger? That's
a familiar name.

Uh, no relation.

Well, I don't care about
money, Mr. Kissinger.

You don't?

Art. That's what I care about.

Would you like to see art?

Sure. Why not?

This is what I'm talking about.

Power, raw energy, emotion.

Shirley Partridge.
One of my students.

She pours everything
she has into her paintings.

Mmm. I can see that.

Why don't you
stay for the class?

I'd love to. But I think
I've seen enough,

uh, to tell my aunt.

Ah, fine. Please, take my card.

Oh.

Must be a little
bulky in the wallet.

I have no wallet.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Well, you can quit worrying. Bernard's not
after your mom's money or anything else.

He just has
strange taste in art.

He really thinks her
paintings are good?

Yeah.

Well, let her enjoy herself, as
long as it doesn't cost anything

and nobody gets
to see the paintings.

Guess who just called.

Howard Hughes.

Well, she said, "Guess."

Go ahead. Who called?

Lorenzo Bernard. He's
been reviewing my paintings,

and he thinks I'm ready to
enter the San Pueblo Art Show.

Oh, terrific!

You mean the one where the good
artists show their good paintings?

That's right. Day
after tomorrow.

I'm glad you kids suggested
that I take some art lessons.

It's been very exciting.

I better get back to work so I'll
have enough paintings for the show.

I don't understand it.

This isn't like Mom at all.

She got carried away with
something she wants to believe.

It happens to everybody.

Yeah, that's how some
presidents get elected.

Well, we're gonna
have to stop her.

Look, what's to worry about?

I mean, she'll go
to the art show,

and everybody will
see her paintings...

And that's what to worry about.

If Mom shows those paintings, she's
gonna be laughed out of San Pueblo.

Yeah. Maybe we could
hire someone to steal them.

We couldn't pay anyone enough.

Well, it looks like the only thing
left to do is to have a talk with her.

Just lay it right on the line.

I agree. One of us should
have a good, old-fashioned

daughter-mother talk with her.

Wait a minute. You're
the man of the house.

Yeah, and as leader, I
decided you should do it.

And besides, you were the one
that talked her into taking lessons

in the first place.

Oh, I seem to remember you
thought it was a good idea, too.

Look, let's not
dwell on the past.

Okay, okay. I'll talk to her.

But how do you tell your
mother that she's a failure?

You just look her straight
in the eye and say...

Hi, Mom. "Hi, Mom"?

Hi, kids. Ready?

Ready? For what?

We have one more number
to rehearse, remember?

Oh, rehearse. Sure. I'm ready.

Are you ready, Keith?

Ready.

But I thought you
wanted... Let's rehearse.

♪ You don't know the pain
of being left out in the rain

♪ And wanting you

♪ You don't know the times
I spent all my precious dimes

♪ Tryin' to get to you

♪ You don't know the hate

♪ I've been
feelin' from the hurt

♪ From the bottom
of my heart out to you

♪ I've been lyin' to myself

♪ I've been tryin' to improve

♪ I've been cryin' Don't you go

♪ And dyin' 'cause I know

♪ I'll never Never get over you

♪ Tried so hard ♪
But I just can't do it

♪ I'll never Never get over you

♪ Maybe I'm not so sure

♪ You really want me to

♪ Baby, you're aware

♪ No one else could really care

♪ The way I do

♪ Maybe your mistake is

♪ You've got to have
your cake and eat it, too

♪ Maybe I'm insane Tryin'
to figure out your scene

♪ And I've got to see
you soon to work it out

♪ I've been lyin' to myself

♪ I've been tryin' to improve

♪ I've been cryin' Don't you go

♪ And dyin' 'cause I know

♪ I'll never Never get over you

♪ Tried so hard
But I just can't do it

♪ I'll never Never get over you

♪ Maybe I'm not so sure

♪ You really want me to ♪

Well, that sounded good.

Guess I'll get back
to my painting.

Well, go ahead. What
are you waiting for?

Well, uh, I've got to get
mentally prepared for it.

Look, try to forget that she's
gonna go to pieces when you tell her.

Oh, you're a big help.

Yeah. Well, I'd tell her myself,

but I don't have the same
rapport with her as you do.

And you're chicken.

Yeah, that, too.

Okay, here goes.

Remember, I'm with you...

In spirit.

Nice day, huh?

Yes, the light's perfect.

Is this one of your
paintings for the show?

If I can finish it by tomorrow.

Uh-huh.

Mom, there's something
I've got to tell you.

What is it?

Well, I don't want
to see you get hurt,

but I'm afraid that if you show
your paintings tomorrow, uh...

Go ahead, honey.
What are you afraid of?

Well, it's... It's kind
of hard for me to say.

You're afraid some
people won't like them?

Yes, that's it.

You mean you're
afraid they aren't good?

Well, I was. That's why I
asked my art class their opinion.

And?

They all agreed with
Lorenzo. They loved them.

They did?

Do you like my
paintings, Laurie?

Me?

Oh, Mom, I, uh...

I really don't know
much about art.

You don't like them?

No! I mean, yes, I do.

I like them a lot,
especially this one.

Yeah, I-I think that
is a terrific grapefruit.

It's a pineapple. Oh... well...

Well, it isn't finished yet.

But, really, I like it already.

Well... that's a relief. I need
all the confidence I can get.

Anytime.

I'll see you later.

I wonder why I'm
way over in the corner.

Well, I thought it
would be better, Shirley.

You had them put me there?

Well, yeah. I thought the
lighting would be better over here.

Shirley Partridge.
Shirley Partridge.

Please come to the
information counter.

Right on schedule.

I wonder what they could want.

Oh, probably just want to
give you a little information.

I mean, after all,
that is their job.

Of course.

Okay, now that we have her
out of the way, what's your plan?

Plan? I don't have a
plan. I thought you had it.

I have it.

I don't want your plan.
Your plans are dumb.

We need a plan
that's gonna work.

These will solve our problems.

Funny phones?

How are funny phones
gonna solve our problem?

We might as well listen to him.

Thank you, Laurie, for
recognizing talent when you see it.

Believe me, it's not your
talent. It's our desperation.

Now, what's your plan?

Tracy, Chris, you two go stand watch.
If you see anyone coming to look at

Mom's painting, let us
know, and we'll go into action.

Check. What action?

Operation "Save Mom."

Who put him in charge?

Just follow me.

I wouldn't follow
you if you were the...

Here comes Mom.

We'll follow.

Laurie, quick, go pull the old
"cinder in the eye" trick on Mom.

Check.

Mr. Kincaid and Keith, you
two go pretend you're buyers.

Buyers.

Would you believe I
left my car lights on?

Mom, I think I have something in
my eye. Could you help me with it?

Sure, honey.

Oh, I think the light's
probably better over there.

I don't know what happened.

This must be the exhibit
we've been looking for.

Hmm.

You were looking
for this exhibit?

They have better
paintings in the washroom.

Oh, really?

The monkey would be
furious if he heard you say that.

The monkey? Mmm-hmm.

The one who painted these.

It's an expression of
primal man, don't you see?

It's this evolution they're
teaching in all the schools.

Come on, Harriet. The next thing they'll
tell us, this monkey has only one ear.

One ear?

Fanatics.

Well, things are going great.

The show's almost over, and
not one person's insulted her.

I'm gonna go check
on Chris and Tracy.

Okay. I'll take all the credit.

Looks like someone's coming.

Okay, just act casual. If this
next plan works, we're home free.

Okay.

Well, show's almost over. What
do you say we call it a day, huh?

You kids can go on home.
I'm gonna stay until it's over.

Lorenzo said he'd drop
by to see how I was doing.

Oh.

Well, I guess we'll
stick around, too.

Man coming.

What?

I didn't say anything.

Uh... pardon me. You're
blocking the picture.

I-I can't see it.

Did you drop that dime?

What's going on here?

Say... that's a great
copy of the Mona Lisa.

Maybe you ought
to stick with Mona.

Mom, we were doing
it because we thought...

I think I know why
you were doing it.

You go on home.
I'll be home later.

I want to talk to Lorenzo.

Look, if you just... Home.

Oh, my, what a show.
These people don't know art.

They think art is
Let's Make a Deal.

Now, this is art.

Lorenzo, the people here
today didn't like my paintings.

In fact, my children went to
elaborate lengths to protect me.

Well, of course they
didn't like your paintings.

They think a grapefruit
should look like a grapefruit.

They don't know that a
grapefruit should look like that.

That is a pineapple.

I don't understand.
It was a good plan.

It didn't work.

Yeah, but Keith was
the one who got caught.

I thought you were the one that
wanted to accept all the credit.

I'm not greedy. I'll share.

Mom's probably crushed.

Hi, kids, Reuben.

She doesn't look crushed.

I'm not crushed...

A little discouraged. A little
disappointed, but not crushed.

Well, we're all very sorry, Mom.

You were trying to tell me
this yesterday, weren't you?

Yes. I didn't do a very
good job, though, did I?

Honey, you shouldn't be afraid to tell me
the truth, even if it does hurt a little.

Oh, but you were so
excited about everything.

Yes, I did get
carried away, didn't I?

Well, if this ever
happens again,

I want you to promise me you'll
be straightforward and honest.

I'm just surprised that nobody
had the courage to tell me.

I wanted to tell you, Mom.

You were chicken.

I was chicken.

Danny?

Well, I was gonna tell you,
Mom, but Keith wouldn't let me.

Reuben?

Well, I would have told you, Shirley,
but... what do I know about art?

I guess this means you're
gonna give up painting now, huh?

No.

But, uh, don't worry. From now
on, I'm doing it for fun, not greatness.

As a matter of fact, I told
Lorenzo to find himself

a new protege.

That shouldn't be too tough.

One more word out of you and
I'll paint a mural in your room.

My lips are sealed.

Would you look at this?

What is it, Reuben?

It's the painting that brought
the highest price at the show,

and it's terrible!

Shirley, you could
do better than that.

Reuben, Mom finally
realized the truth,

and now you're trying
to start it all over again.

Oh. Sorry. Lost my head.

There. Give me points.

What's "B-R-O-G-A-K"?

Brogak.

A brogak is a small, elflike
creature found in Taiwan,

often stuffed and made
into decorative lamps.

Well, I tried.