22x05 - Stone Age Romeos

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

And, uh, ahem.

And my board of directors
and I are convinced

that somewhere on this earth
there are still in existence

persons of the primitive
Stone Age.

To verify our theory,
we'll require the services

of explorers
who are indeed intrepid.

That's us.
We're decrepit.

Shut up, chipmunk.
Oh.

This, as I was saying,

is a job
for real explorers.

Well, we're your men,
Mr. Bopper.

We've explored
the South Pole.

The North Pole.
Even the telegraph pole.

[CHUCKLES]

Shut up, tadpole.
Oh!

This map shows
a portion of the Earth

that is almost unknown.

We believe you will
find the cavemen

somewhere in this area.

Excuse, Mr. Bopper.
The board is waiting.

Oh, pardon me, gentlemen.
I'll be back shortly.

Well, now, let's see.

Let me see.

Let's study this map carefully.
Very carefully.

Now listen, fellas.
This is quite a large territory.

We're gonna have to square
it up into sections.

[ALL CHATTERING]

Now, we'll start
from here.

Down here,
we travel by boat.

And we'll base
ourselves right here.

And from there we'll travel
across the desert sand

by pogo stick.

Boy, did you guys leave
yourselves wide open.

I'm in the king's row.
Crown me.

With pleasure.

[GROANS]

Why don't you stop
clowning now?

Now, right here.

Right here is the
last known whereabouts

of the dinosaurs.
Go on, she's on television.

I always
watch Dinah Shore.

You do, eh?
Yeah.

Why don't you stop?
Hold on, now.

Leave me alone, will you?

What's wrong
with you today?

I don't know,
my ear is stuffed up.

Wait a minute,
I'll fix it.

Hey,
your brains came out.

Oh, no, I forgot.
I put that string in

so the wind won't blow
the dust in my ear.

Oh. Well, how does
it feel now?

Still stuffed up.

Just a minute.

How was that?
Pretty good.

What happened to you?

That's the dust
off your brain.

What you need is
a windshield wiper.

What you'll need
is an eyeshade.

[GROANS]

I can't see!
I can't see!

BOTH:
What's the matter?

I got my eyes closed.

Get out of here. Go ahead.
Get over there.

Gentlemen,
you must start right away.

We are prepared to spend
$ , for the project.

And if you bring back
photographic

and documentary evidence,

we will pay you
an additional $ , .

♪ It's a deal ♪
♪ It's a deal ♪

♪ It's a deal ♪

Hurry up.

Wonder what's
wrong with this.

Oh, oh!

It was an accident, Moe.

I'll clean you up.
Here, lend me this.

That's all right, kid.
I know it was an accident.

I think you got a little
ink on your tongue.

Let me see.
I have?

Yeah.

[GROANING]

Wait-- Wait a minute.
Oh, Moe...

Man, it's hot.

And my feet
are k*lling me.

I should've never
left home.

Oh, boy.
[GRUNTS]

Oh, I'm sorry, Moe.
I didn't--

Oh, I'm sorry--
What's the matter with you guys?

Hey.
What?

I see something.

Give me those binoculars.

[BOTH GRUNT]

Here.

I see a dense forest.

The trees are as thins
as hairs.

[FLY BUZZING]

Great Scott!
There's a big bat in the forest

climbing amongst the trees.

He's as big as an elephant!

Boy, I hope he
don't fly over here.

Boy, oh, boy.

What's the idea?

In case it rains.

Boy, oh, boy.

What a bat!

Why, you imbecile.

I've been looking at the back
of your head all the time.

And there's a fly on it.
I hope it's a fly.

Yeah, it's itchy.
Well, get it off.

Get me the g*n.

Hurry up.

Wait a minute.
You wanna k*ll him?

Mind your own business.
Go ahead, Moe.

Yeah, mind
your own business.

[GROANS]

Oh, look!
A footprint.

And the toes point out
like prehistoric man.

Quick, get a camera.
We'll photograph it.

Hurry up.

Right there.

We found it.
Oh, boy.

Oh, boy,
we're making history.

Yeah, we--

Hey, lunkhead.

You got the camera
backwards.

Oh--
Come on, away from here.

[ALL CHATTERING]

SHEMP:
Oh, boy.

[LARRY WHISTLING]
SHEMP: Heep-eep-eep!

[MOE SNORING]

Meep-eep-eep...

[SNORING]

Meep-eep-eep...

Oh. Aggie, Aggie.

My angel.

Your face is so beautiful.

[SNORES]

Your beautiful blue eyes.

Oh, my sweetheart.

My killy kalu bird.

You need a shave.

[GRUNTS]

Oh. My darling.

I know you love me.

But you're too shy
to say so.

But the petals on this
gorgeous flower will prove it.

Oh, she loves me.

She loves me not.
Ah.

She loves me.
Aah!

She loves me not.
Ooh!

Ah, my darling.

I'll give you security.

The most beautiful cave
in Mesopotamia.

What will you give me?

This.
Aah!

What's the big idea?
Wake up and go to sleep.

Why, you p*ssy-willow brain.

You ruined a beautiful
romance for me. Lay down.

[SNORING]

Oh, a beauty.

Oh, boy.

[LARRY SNORING]
Heep-eep-eep...

Ah, good morning.

[XYLOPHONE PLAYS]

Oh, top of the morning
to you.

And a tap in the morning
to you too.

Look what we got
for breakfast.

[BARKING]

Oh, boy.

A dogfish.

I hope it
ain't got fleas.

Quiet.

Now you get this ready
for breakfast

while Larry and I
go take a dip.

Wait a minute.
Did you take a bath?

What's the matter,
is there one missing?

Go on, go on.

Let's go.
To the water.

[BLOWING AIR]

How do you like that?
The fire went out.

I'll fix that.

Oh, my trusty
little rock lighter.

Don't fail me, baby.

There we are.

What do you know?

A fish for breakfast,
a turtle for lunch.

Here, bring this in the house
and give it to Shemp.

I'll look around, see
what I can find for supper.

Oh!

Kindling. Ha-ha.

Look what we got for lunch.

A turtle.
Oh, that's swell.

You're just in time
to help me make butter.

Is the cream
in the churn?

Oh, we're all set.
Let's go.

[LAUGHING]

Meep-eep-eep!

[BARKING]

[LAUGHING]

Wait a minute.
I think it's done.

Go and get the bowl.

Here.

Oh, boy. Grade A.

Oh.

[QUACKS]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

[QUACKING]

[GRUNTS]

A wise guy, eh?

I'll get you.

[SCREAMS]

[DUCK QUACKING]

Oh.

[GROWLS]

[QUACKS]

[GRUNTS]

[QUACKS]

[GRUNTS]

Aah!

[GRUNTS]

[WHIMPERS]

I'll get you.

Here, ducky, ducky.

Look. A duck.

[MOE SCREAMING]

[BOTH GASP]

[MOE GROANING]

Now listen.
If you behave yourselves

I'll have you meet
Aggie's two sisters.

LARRY:
Are they pretty?

I don't know.
I've never saw them.

[ALL GIGGLING]

Hey. There's Aggie
and her two sisters.

[ALL GIGGLING]

Looks like
I'm going courting.

Me too.

Me three.

Be still my beating heart.

Onward.
Onward.

[ALL GIGGLING]

Let's just
ignore them, girls.

[ALL GIGGLING]

Aggie, Aggie!

Hiya, toots.

Oh, hello, Moe.
What do you know?

BOTH:
♪ We just got back
From a dinosaur show ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[CHUCKLES]

I want you to meet
my cavemates.

Larry and Shemp.

Please to meet you.
I'm Aggie.

I'm Maggie.

I'm Baggie.

You're tellin' me.

Look, they're stealing
our women.

[STOOGES SCREAM]

You stole our girls,
you horse thieves.

We want 'em back.

Get in the cave, girls.

[WOMEN GASP]

I'll protect
those girls

to the last drop
of your blood.

Come on.
Whoa!

I'll man the g*n.
amm*nit*on.

On the run.
Attaboy.

No, no, a little to the left.
About a half-inch.

Okay.
That's it. Fire!

[GRUNTS]

[GASPING]

Oh, boy.

[GRUNTS]

Let 'em have
this blockbuster.

Okay.

A little over the left.

[FLY BUZZING NEARBY]

MOE:
Little more.

[FLY BITES]
Ow!

[GASPS]

[GASPS]

Wait a minute, Moe.
There's an explanation.

I'm sorry.
What's the matter?

Don't you know
how to fire a g*n?

What's the matter with you?
Get some amm*nit*on, hurry up.

Okay.

You missed me! Ha!

[WHIMPERS]

Oh, boy, what a shot.

Look what I found.

Oh, eggs.

Perfect!

[EGGS THUD]

Oh, boy, a bull's-eye!
Look.

[GROWLING]

Get the poison gas, Larry.
On with the gas masks.

Here we are.

Hurry up.
Good.

Got him.
Hold still there, you.

[ALL GASP]

[ALL SCREAMING]

[ALL CHEERING]

[WOMEN CHEERING]

How do you like that,
Mr. Bopper?

Splendid.
Splendid indeed.

You have proven
to the world

that there are still cavemen
in existence.

I'll go to the cashier's office
and have your check drawn.

Boy, oh, boy.
Did we put one over.

[CHUCKLES]

Bopper will never suspect

that we made that picture
here in Hollywood.

And with these
false beards on

he'd never dream
we were the cavemen.

[LAUGHING]

So that's it!

You!

And you!
[BOTH GRUNT]

You miserable
swindlers!

[STOOGES SCREAM]

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

[STOOGES SCREAM]

Guess I fixed them.

[SCREAMS]

[♪♪♪]