24x06 - Horsing Around

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Hello ♪

♪ Hello ♪
♪ Hello ♪

ALL:
Hello.

[♪♪♪]

Chicken's ready.

Gosh, fellas,
listen to this.

"Schnapps, famous circus horse,
critically injured.

Owner fears horse will
have to be destroyed."

Oh, isn't that awful?

So what? We got
troubles of our own.

Yeah, our sister, Bertie,
refuses to eat,

and you're worried
about Schnapps.

You're right.
But Bertie is unhappy here.

After all, this is a tough place
for her to bring up her baby.

Ah, she's just stubborn.

She's not. It's just hard
for her to readjust herself.

Remember,
she's not like us.

She d*ed
and was reincarnated.

Reincarnated or not,
she's still our little sister,

and we've gotta to do everything
possible to make her happy.

Well, let's go in
and talk to her.

Right.

[BOING]
Ow!

Ooh, you backbiter,
that hurts.

Shut up!
Not so loud.

Not in the head.
You know it's soft.

Oh.

Make bigger
circles.

Oh.
Come on.

BERTIE:
♪ Rock and roll, my baby ♪

♪ Sleep
I don't mean maybe ♪

♪ You will grow
Real big of course ♪

♪ And be a great big
Circus horse ♪

♪ La, la, la
La, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la
La, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la
La, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la
La, la, la ♪

Look, Bertie, you gotta
eat something, sis.

You're very kind brother dear,
but I can't eat.

I've been living here
for a week

when I should be out
trying to find my mate.

You know every child
needs his father.

Well come and eat
something first,

then after lunch,
we'll figure out a way

to find the kid's pappy.

All right, Bertie,
now come on, come on.

We gotta eat something,
come on.

Thanks a lot.
Come on.

Have potatoes?

Mm.

Ah, Bertie.

You're glad you came
in here now, huh?

And how.
Ha.

How's the salad?

Mm, I love this
horseradish dressing.

BERTIE:
Mm, it's delicious.

Hey, what's the idea
of spreading

mashed potatoes
on your bread?

Why don't you
use butter?

That's fattening.
Oh.

[GRUNTS]

Ooh, that hurts.

I'm sorry, Joe.

"I'm sorry, Joe.
I'm sorry, Joe."

Can't you ever say anything
like "I'm glad" for once?

Yeah, so I'm glad
I'm sorry once.

That's better.

Here, Bertie,

have a drumstick.
Thanks.

Mm, it's delicious.

Boy, you must like them.
How about another one?

Uh-huh. Mm.

Here's your iced tea.
Thanks.

Larry,
here's your iced tea.

And Bertie,
here is yours.

BERTIE:
Mm, thank you.

Yummy, yummy.

Say, fellas, when are we
gonna find my mate?

Soon as we
finish eating.

Say, incidentally,

where would we find him
and what's his name?

Everybody knows my mate.

He's the famous
circus horse, Schnapps.

Schnapps,
he's your mate?

Yup, that's him.
My baby's a blue blood.

Oy.
Moe,

what will we do?
Shh.

[COLT NEIGHING]

[NEIGHING]

Oh, my baby is hungry.
I better take care of him.

[COLT NEIGHING]

Coming, darling.

[COLT NEIGHING]

Mother's coming.

Hey, fellas, we mustn't let
Bertie know about Schnapps.

Right, and we gotta
get to that circus

before they destroy him.

Joe, get rid of the dishes.
Right.

Boy, we're in an awful mess
and don't know

how we're gonna
get out of it.

LARRY:
There's gotta
be a way.

Now, that circus is at
the fairgrounds at Winkelberg

and that's
a long way from here,

and we don't even
own a car.

Hey, why don't we
rent a wagon?

After all,
our sister is a horse.

Boy, that's really
horse sense.

[CHUCKLES]

But we can't
take the baby with us,

so we'll have
to get a babysitter.

Where are you going
to get a babysitter?

There's a horse
at Santa Anita

owes me a $ favor,

so I'll get her to sit
with the colt.

[LAUGHS]

Now we're really
getting some place.

I think Bertie will go for that.
Yeah.

Let's go tell her.

[DISHES CRASHING]

MAN:
Oh! Hey!

What the Sam Hill
you doing up there?

What's the idea of throwing
the dishes out the window?

You told me to get rid
of them, so I did.

So you did.
Heh-heh-heh.

Oof!
Here, come on.

Let's go see Bertie.
Get going.

All right.

Not so fast, Piggy.

Eat slowly, dear.

Okay, Piggy,
you had enough.

Come on, Bertie.
We gotta get going.

I'll take care
of the baby, Joe.

JOE: Okay.
Take it easy, honey child.

Be careful, Moe.

Okay, honey child.

Now come on.

Burp.
Give.

[BURPS]

BOTH:
Gesundheit.

Oh, you're a doll.

Give it back.

Okay, honey,
your time to go to sleep.

Whoops.
Stay here, stay here.

we're gonna have
a babysitter for you.

All right.
Good night, honey child.

[LAUGHS]

[NEIGHS]

Hurry, Bertie,
come on.

Shake a leg, Bertie.
Come on, get going.

Ah, my feet
are k*lling me.

I wonder
what's wrong.

You wonder?
I wonder too.

Let's find out.
What's the matter, Bertie?

Oh, I can't go another step.

My feet are k*lling me.
I've got to have some new shoes.

You know I've always
had fallen arches.

Poor Bertie.
You know,

she's being running around
barefooted all day.

Yeah? Well what are
we gonna do?

Well, we can--
I got an idea.

Hike!

[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

Hey, fellas. Come back,
I got a better idea.

Hike!

[ALL GRUNT]

Listen.

[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

Very good!
Come on!

Mush. Come on.

A little faster.

Get going,
fellows.

Watch out for
that water puddle.

Ah, a little water
ain't gonna hurt you.

Get up
out of there.

What are you doing?

Fine time
to go swimming!

Will you please quit fooling
around and get going?

What are you doing?

What happened?

What happened? What's the matter
with you? You nuts or so--?

BERTIE:
Come on, boys.

Come on,
we gotta get Schnapps!

Look out
for the hole.

MOE:
Come on in, fellas.
It's a deserted cabin.

All right,
now relax now, Bertie.

Boy, am I b*at.

You know, it's a good thing
we found this empty shack.

Now we can
rest a while.

I'm b*at too. I was never
cut out to be a horse.

But you eat
like one.

Please build a fire
and warm some water.

Lots of it.

Sure.
See what I can do.

Come on, give me
a hand, Larry.

Okay.

I got the wood.
Where are we gonna

find an a*
to chop it with?

Use your head. There's gotta
be an a* around here somewhere.

Hey, somebody left
a gold nugget on the floor.

Where?

[GROANING]

You nearly
wrecked my hat.

Let me see.
Yeah, look.

Oh.

Hey, what's the idea?

Now it'll be just perfect
to start the fire with.

Ow! Ooh!

[CHUCKLES]

Hey, that's my hat!

Come on, stop that!

You, oh--
See that?

Get out.
Ooh!

Hey, see that?

Oh, you--

Get out of here.

BERTIE:
Quit acting like stooges.

Please stop that nonsense

and have your lunch
so we can get started again.

Okay, we gotta
quit out horsing around.

[CROWD CHATTERING]

Oh, poor, Schnapps.
Please get well

so we can continue
our act.

It looks bad. I'm afraid
they're gonna have to sh**t him.

Oh, no!

Here you are, Joe.
Oh, boy.

That's a good one.

How you doing,
Bertie?

Fine now.

My poor tired feet.

My insteps
were k*lling me.

Oh, this sure
feels good.

Boy, I sure love
the caraway seeds

in this rye bread.

Those are not
caraway seeds.

Those are ants.

Let's see what's
on the air.

[RADIO BEEPS]

MAN [ON RADIO]:
We now bring you five minutes
of the latest news.

A sad note.

The famous circus horse
Schnapps,

beloved by millions,
has not improved

from his recent accident.

Owners are expected to destroy
him sometime today.

Schnapps!
Schnapps, my darling mate!

Let's get going
before it's too late.

We've got to save
my Schnapps.

Boys,
hurry up and get packed.

We gotta get out of here
right away. Bertie?

Get ready.
We gotta get out of here.

Hurry up, you guys.
I'll hitch Bertie up.

Okay, okay.
Lift it up, hurry up.

It's heavy.
Oh.

It's light
as a feather.

Come on!

Well, Schnapps, old fella, I--

Oh, something wrong.
Can't see.

Oh.

I can't see nothing no more,
Schnapps.

I'm sorry, but they told me
I gotta give you the works.

Gotta get that
old p*stol of mine.

[NOSE HONKS]

Oh, let's see
where I'm at.

Ah, that's better.

Now.

Don't need that.

Now, where is that
p*stol of mine?

Ah, there it is.

Now let's see.

This thing ain't loaded,
dagnabbit.

[SCREAMS]

[g*n CLICKING]

Ha, must've been
the last sh*t.

I've got some
b*ll*ts here somewhere.

LARRY:
Come on. Get going.

Okay, let's help.
Yeah.

Hey, Moe,
you all right?

Yeah, that Bertie's going crazy.
Yeah.

Hurry up, fellas.
We gotta get to Schnapps

before they sh**t him.
Okay, come on.

Consarn it,
no b*llet.

I'll have to go
buy me some.

LARRY:
There's the fairground,
there's the circus.

Come on, Bertie.

[CROWD CHATTERING]

MOE:
Come on, Bertie.
Come on, Bertie.

Get going, Bertie.
Get going, Bertie.

Come on there, Bertie.
Come on, hyah.

Hyah.
Joe, unhitch Bertie.

Larry, you and I
will try to find Schnapps.

Oh, I'm so tired.

Now where will
we find Schnapps?

[NEIGHS]

Yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo.

That's my Schnapps!

That's our love call.
He's okay.

Yoo-hoo!

Okay, Bertie, you wait here,
I'll go get Schnapps.

Hurry, Joe.

Schnapps has gotta be
in one of these stalls.

Not in here.

What are you
birds doing?

Trying to steal
a horse?

Scram, Larry.
Let's scram.

Come back here,
you horse thieves!

So you're Schnapps.

Come on. Boy, will Bertie
will be glad to see you.

Ah!
Nyah...

A truck hit me.

Hey look, he's in here.
Hurry up.

[HORSE NEIGHS IN DISTANCE]

[BOTH GASP]

We're trapped.

Where'd they disappear?

Hey, in the trunk.

Wait a minute.

What's this?

Hey, let's get in it.

What a break.
Oh, boy.

I can't see,

but I'll find
you somewhere.

You can't
get away from me.

[GRUNTS]

Oh, sneak up on me,
will you?

Oh, it's not you.

Dagnab 'em!

They got away,
goll darn it.

Schnapps, old fella.

The vet gave me
something to

put you to sleep
before I sh**t you.

Now hold steady.

Here goes.

Now hold it.

Won't be long now.

Easy, boy.

[GRUNTS]

[GROANING]

MOE:
Come on, Larry,
let's scram!

What the dickens?

What's this?

LARRY:
It's us. Hey, it's us.

Oh, you had me fooled
for a minute.

Hey, hey, fellas,
I want you to meet Schnapps,

your brother-in-law.
Schnapps, Moe and Larry.

Ha-ha.
You happy now, Bertie?

And how.
Ecstatically happy.

Kiss me, Schnapps,
darling.

[NEIGHS]

Go ahead, kiss her.

Hm, you're so sweet,
darling.

Oh, I'm so happy
I found you, Daddy.

I missed you so much,
my sweetie.

You're the most.

[♪♪♪]