18x01 - Three Arabian Nuts (1951)

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

[CAR HORN HONKS]

[IMITATING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Ooh, knickknacks.

Well, this is the last one.

Okay, put it up there.

[GRUNTING]

Mm, pretty good.

We got everything from the dock
to the warehouse

without busting a single box.

Well, let's knock wood,
that's all.

I'm sorry, Moe, I...

[LAUGHS]

Oh!

Now, pick that stuff up
and put it in another box

and step lively.
Okay.

Wait. I think we're missing
a couple of crates of china.

Larry. Where's Larry?

Get outta my way here.

Nothing like time-out
for a good cup of coffee.

Well, cheers.
Cheers.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

I'm sorry, Moe.
Please forgive me.

Ow! Ow!

I forgive you now.

Get those boxes
with the rest of the stuff.

Yes, sir.
What can I do for you?

I'm John Bradley.

Did my shipment
come in from the Orient?

Oh, yes, sir, Mr. Bradley.
Just sit down.

Oh, thank you.

[SIZZLING]

Agh!

Oh, so sorry.

So stupid of me.

Yeah.
Look, Mr. Bradley,

all your junk is here.
Don't call it junk.

It took me six months to get
that collection together.

It's priceless,
especially the china.

Yes, sir.

I want everything sent
to my residence immediately.

We'll have it out there
this afternoon.

All right.

Hey, Shemp, all this stuff
goes back in the truck.

Aw, we just unloaded.

I know, but the guy
wants it delivered today.

Ugh. Wants it delivered.

It's all there, Mr. Bradley.
I checked everything myself.

All right, but be careful
how you handle this stuff.

Don't you worry.

We're gentle
as a flock of kittens.

[SHATTERING]

Merciful heavens, what was that?

Oh, it could be any number
of a thousand things.

Now, take it easy.
Sit down, be calm, and relax.

[SIZZLING]

Agh!
[CUP SHATTERS]

[GRUNTS]

Gee, I hope nothing happened
to the china.

We'll soon find out.
Open it up.

Moe will wring our necks.

Don't worry, he won't know
nothing about it.

[WHISPERS]
'Cause I'll...

[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

Did you hear a loud noise?

Well...

Hurry up with that crate.
Mm.

Okay, frizz-top,
let's get this loaded.

Easy on the weight, now.
All right.

Easy. Got it.

Easy, now.

Here we go.
Heave.

Oh!

Uh-uh, I forgot something.

[LOUD CRASHING]

I don't know. I got a funny
feeling I'm being watched.

Nah.

Hm, what a pretty little
syrup pitcher.

[WHINNIES]

I am your sl*ve,
the genie of the lamp.

The genius of the lamp?
Did you come out of here?

I'm here to grant your wishes.
Command and I obey.

My wishes? You mean anything?

Yes, master.

What have I got to lose?

Okay, big boy, you can start
me out with a new suit.

Something sharp.

He's a genius, all right.

Heh.

Chicks. Oh, look at that suit!

And a chain.

The skimmer. Oh, wait till
the dames get a load of me.

Oh, boy.

Hey, Larry, Larry.
Hi.

How do you like my new outfit?

Where did that come from?
I don't know.

I just rubbed this lamp,
the genius appeared,

and the next thing I know,
I got a new set of threads.

Where's Moe?
I guess he's out there.

Wait till I show him.
Hey, Moe! Hey, Moe!

Moe!

Just rub the lamp
and the genius appears?

Ah, I don't believe that.
That guy must be wa...

I wonder.

[SCREAMS]

Oh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Hey, quit tossing things around
out there.

[GROANS]

I am your sl*ve.
Make a wish and I will grant it.

The genie. Did you give that
other guy a new suit of clothes?

Yes, master.

Well, put him back
the way he was.

Moe, Moe, Moe.
Where are you?

MOE:
In here.

Well, how do I look?

As ugly as ever.
No, no, I mean the new suit

and the big chain I got...

What happened?
I had it on a minute ago.

Moe, I've been robbed.

I always knew you were cuckoo.
Come on, get in here.

Oh!

Come on, in here.

Oh. It worked.

Lay off that lamp, will ya?
That genius is working for me.

What is all
this genius business?

What's the matter with you guys?

I'd knock your brains out
if you had any.

Go on, get busy.

Go on.

It's not in here.
They must have hidden it well.

We'll get it back, and we'll
have their heads for this.

[DOOR OPENS]

All right, you lame brains,

hustle this stuff onto the truck

and don't give me
no more trouble.

That's mighty careless packing.

Get on the other end
and give this a lift.

Wait a minute. That's funny,
the thing ain't nailed.

Come on, nail it.
Get busy.

LARRY: All right.
MOE: Lunkheads.

SHEMP:
Don't get excited.

Now, step on it or I'll
take your heads off.

Boy, it's drafty in here.

If you boys will help me
unpack this stuff,

I'll make it worth your while.

You bet ya.
Come on, you lugs, shake a leg.

Boy, what a load. I wonder what
kind of junk he's got in here.

Easy, boy, we're getting there.

All right.

Put that aw...

Oh! Oh!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh. Let's rest a while.

[GASPING]

You all right?

Yeah, I'm all right. Oh.

Come here.

Oh.

[SPINE CRACKING]
[GRUNTS]

You know, those lunkheads
just can't get anything right.

I'll put two and two together.

[LOUD CRASHING]

[GASPING]

What's the matter
with you nitwits?

You gotta use this.

[BOINGS]

[GROANS]

Oh, now I can carry
it like a toothpick.

Never mind.

Porcupine, get some more stuff
off the truck.

You go in there
and help Mr. Bradley.

[GASPS]

That's it.
The magic lamp.

Get the genius here and he'll
grant us anything we wish.

There's nothing magical
about this.

I bought it for cents
in a little bazaar.

You can have it if you want it.

Mine.

All mine.

Hot ziggity.

Hi, Amos, what detains you?

What do you wish, master?

Command and I obey.

Don't rush me, big boy,
don't rush me.

Something will come to me.

Let's see now.

I got it.

I want a million bucks

and put it right there
on the desk.

A million?
How do you want it?

I wish you wouldn't
bother me with details.

Hey, Amos, where's the moola?

Amos!

Where are you?

Where's my million?

[GRUNTING]

Oh!

Hey, Shemp,

bring me that crowbar.

I can't, I'm busy.

Oh.

What is this, mutiny?

What are you looking for?

A million dollars,
it's around here somewhere.

Oh, a million dollars.

Oh!

Come on up.
Oh!

Come on.
Oh, oh, oh.

Get up outta here.

What's with you?

But, Moe, I had the magic lamp.

The genius was here and he
promised me a million bucks,

I ain't kidding.

Me neither,
now cut out the nonsense.

Get outta here and help Larry.

Go ahead, come on.

Magic lamps, geniuses,

everybody's going bats around...

Oh.

Could this be...?

[BLOWING]

[SNORTS]

Uh...

Are you the genius of the lamp?

Oh, yes.

Make any wish

and I will grant it.

What do you know?

Well, there's so many things,

I don't know what to wish for.

Well, take your time.

I'm sure something
will come to you.

Now, why don't you
just sit down here

and be comfortable.

Thank you.

Sit, relax.

Just put your head down

and relax.

[GIGGLES]

Close your eyes.

Oh.
There.

Now, are you concentrating
on what you want?

Yeah, let me have it.

Hm.

Hurry up, I'm getting
a crick in my neck.

Oh, I'll take care of that.

I want...

[SHOUTING]

Whoa. Whoa!

[SHOUTS]

[LAUGHS]

[SHOUTS]

Whoa!

Help!

[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

[WHIMPERING]

Whoa!

[THUDDING]

[VASE SMASHING]

Mr. Bradley,

my mistake.

Take it easy.

Inhale.

I'll get you out of it.

Genius, Genius, help!

It's no use.

Without the lamp,
you'll die like a dog.

[GRUNTS]

[HEART TAPPING QUICKLY]

[GASPS]

I suppose you think I'm scared.

Yes.

You're right.

Whoa!

No. No.

Sorry.

[YELPS]
Oh!

Moe?
Larry?

[SIGHS]

[SHOUTS]

[GRUNTS]

No.

Moe, Larry!

[PHONE RINGS]

Help! Police! Marines!

It's for you.

Oh, thank you.

Hello?

Get funny with me,
will you, sucker?

I'll show you.

Okay, chump, come out fighting.

[LAUGHING]

[GASPS]

Never mind.

Whoa!

[BOTH SHOUT]

Larry, let me out,
it's me, Shemp.

Whoa!

Come on, Shemp,
let's get out of here.

Come on.

Well, we made it, Shemp,

I'll tell you what we...

[SHOUTS]

Whoa-oa-oa!
[BOINGS]

Hold it. It's me.

Nice work, kid.

Yeah, but there may be more
of these buzzards around here.

I'll get a club too.

Smack everybody that's
wearing a turban.

Right.

Pardon me.

[SNIFFING]

[SNIFFS]

That's it.

You look good.

Boy, you're doing swell.

I'll go call the cops.

Never mind.

I'll call them myself,

before something else
happens to me.

[CHUCKLING]

I got another one.

You did, eh?
Yeah.

What'd you hit him with?

That.

Get on outta here,
that's Mr. Bradley.

Oh.

Oh.

A w*apon, a w*apon.

Now to find a turban.

Uh...

The lamp.

Oh, boy, oh, boy.

Come to papa.

I'll take that,

stand back, dog.

[SIZZLING]
[SHOUTS]

[SIZZLING]

[SHOUTS]

[YELPS]

[SIZZLING]
[SHOUTS]

[SIZZLING]

Whoa! Oh!

Genius, get us out of this.

Don't let me down.

[CHIRPING]

What'd I tell you?
The genius came through.

What a lamp.

[CLICKING TONGUE]

Just what I've been wishing for.

You're my type, baby.

A woman.

Come on, sugar, let's go places.

Hey, Amos? You got that
stuff I ordered?

GENIE:
Coming, master.

[ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

Money.

Rubies. Gold.

What are we waiting for?

Let's go.

Oh.

♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪

So long, Mr. Bradley,

and thanks for the lamp.

[LAUGHING]

[WHIMPERING]

[♪♪♪]