20x07 - Rip, Sew and Stitch

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTS]

[SCOFFS]

Whew, it's hot in here.

Ah, what a stubborn spot.

LARRY:
Shemp, give me a hand, will you?

I can't now.
I gotta finish my pants.

MOE:
Hey, fellas.

Listen to this letter.

"Gentlemen..."

That ain't for us.
We're not gentlemen.

Speak for yourself.

Ooh!

"Gentlemen, this is
to inform you

"that unless overdue payments
for tailoring equipment

"are made within hours,

"we will repossess
said equipment.

"Balance now due: $ . .

"Skin and Flint Finance
Corporation.

I, Fleecem, President."

They'll put us out of business.
What'll we do?

You guys worry about that.

I'm too young to worry
and get wrinkles

on my pretty little face.

What we need is a little
music to cheer us up.

[STATIC CRACKLING]

ANNOUNCER:
News flashes.

Police are frantically
scouring the town

in search of Terry
"Slippery Finger" Hargen.

Hargen has robbed
his th consecutive safe

in nine days.

A large reward
is offered for his capture.

Does your car have indigestion?

Does it burp in the morning?

Try 'No-burpaline',

the only gasoline containing
bicarbonate of soda...

[TURNS RADIO OFF]

Hey, Moe, why don't
we capture Hargen

and collect the reward?

Then we can pay our bills.

Oh, it's as simple as all that?

Hargen is gonna walk right
in here and let you capture him.

You're nuts.

We're gonna be paupers.

Paupers.
Are you kidding?

We're not even married.

Oh.
Why don't you be quiet.

Oh.
Think.

I can't think when I'm hungry.

[SPITTING]

Oh, a funny man.

What's the matter with you?

What did I do?

Who wants lunch?
LARRY: I do.

SHEMP:
Make me some too, will you?

Okay, coming up.

[SIZZLING]

[LOUD HISSING, AIR EXPLODING]

Ah, boy.

[WHIMPERS]

Ah.

[LAUGHING]

Ah, well, here we are.

[MUMBLING, LAUGHING]

What are you stalling
around for?

[NOSE CRUNCHES]
Oh, oh, oh, oh.

You know, you got
a rush order to get out.

Get Mr. Grant's pants
and hand-press them.

All right, all right.
But where are they?

I pinned them up on the shade.

What'd you do with them?

I didn't touch them.

Uh-oh.

Here. Hurry up
and press those.

What are you standing
around for?

[WHIMPERING]

[GROWLS]

[CHUCKLING]

[GRUNTS]

[SIZZLES]
Oh!

Oh, oh!

[SPITTING]

[GRUNTING]

Oh.

[YELLING]

Oh, oh, oh.

[GROANING]

[GROWLS]

You double-crosser.

Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Oh!

Oh, oh, oh!

[GROWLING]

[BARKS]

Wise guy, this time
I'll close you.

Oh!

I'm sorry, Moe.

Oh, think nothing of it.

Oh, gee, thanks.

You're welcome.

Oh!

[YELLING]

Oh!

Ow!

What's the idea?

I'm sorry.
You stepped into me.

Hey, fellas.

A customer.

Say, have you seen...?
MOE: Yes, sir.

LARRY:
Don't worry about it.

You've come to the right place.
You bet.

This is the store where your
dollars have more sense.

Say, we've got the very sport
coat you're looking for.

I don't want a coat.
But listen, mister,

we're gonna give you a bargain.

Where did you ever
get this mess?

I bought it here.

Oh, what a beautiful
masterpiece.

SHEMP:
Now, just relax, mister.

They'll only be a second.

Yeah... Here.

Isn't it a beauty?

Genuine import.
Smell the ocean.

And it's percent wool.

Two hundred percent?

These sheep led a double life.

Yes, sir. Get it on.
[LAUGHING]

Get it right in there.
I don't want...

Will you...?
There you are.

There you are.

I don't want a coat.

I don't want a coat.

I don't want a coat!

STOOGES:
Oh, he don't want a coat.

What he wants is a pair
of our slick slacks.

Why didn't you tell
me the man wants slacks?

Get him slacks.

Go ahead!

I don't want any slacks...

All right, look.
Now, look, bud,

in this store,
the customer's always right.

SHEMP:
We want you to be happy.

MOE:
Yeah, take it easy.

It won't be but a minute.

You don't have to buy
anything you don't want.

Nothing. Just buy
what we tell you.

Here you are, brother.
Slick slacks.

Try them on for size.

Oh, yes, try them right on.
We can... Oh...

Gee, officer, we didn't...

Quiet!

You birds realize you
just let Terry Hargen,

the bank robber,
slip right through my hands?

I ought to run you in.

Please, officer,
I got six wives and two kids.

Honest, officer,
there was nobody came in here.

Well, he's in the neighborhood.

Keep a sharp lookout.
I'll be back.

Right.
Right.

Oh.

Hey, fellas.

What is it?

Look what I found in the pocket
of these pants.

[MOE READING ON-SCREEN TEXT]

This is the combination
to a safe.

"T.H."

I wonder what that means?

Teddy Hoosevelt?

You're wrong, quiz kid.

I got it. I got it.

SHEMP:
Who?

Thomas Hedison.

Why don't you dumbbells stop.

Thomas Hedison, Teddy Hoosevelt.

Terry Hargen.

Terry Hargen, the bank bandit.

He was here.
These are his clothes.

And this safe combination...

This must belong
to a safe he's gonna rob.

Hey, we'd better
call the cop back.

Now, don't be hasty.

Hargen might come back here
after his clothes

and then we nab him

and collect
the reward ourselves.

That's what I said before,
but you said to me...

[CRUNCHES]
Ow! Ow!

I ought to razor-blade you.

Wait a minute. Let me
see that razor blade.

Certainly.

Well.

No, no!
Don't cut those!

Don't cut...!

Look what you did.
Now my hat won't fit me.

Don't worry.
I'll get it back.

[SOBBING]

Oh. Oh, never mind.

I won't wear a hat.

Oh, go on, you guys, get busy.

Get on those pants.
All right.

You too.

LARRY:
All right.

Hm.

Hiya, fellas.

Is my coat altered?

Just finished.
Oh, fine.

Try it on.
Good.

There you are.

Wait a minute.
Here, brush him off.

Sleeves inches.
How's that?

That's right, .

[BRUSHING]

Who made that hat?

My mother.

I thought so.
There you are.

You're all set.
Right.

Well, see you on payday.

Right.

What's the idea
of wrecking that man's coat?

He had a loose baste.

I'll loose baste you.

SHEMP:
Oh, no, Moe.

Why you...

Moolah.

Hey, fellas. I just found
bucks in that coat.

Maybe there's more
in the other clothes.

Let's search.
Go ahead.

Oh!

Hey, look, I found another .

Yeah, so you did.

Why...
Oh! Ow!

Hey, hey, hey, leave him alone.
What's the matter with you?

Hiya, fellas.

My wife is just crazy about
the way you fixed this coat.

Uh, she wants you to make
me a pair of pants to match.

Oh, sure, sure.

We'll have them
ready for you tomorrow.

MAN:
Thanks. So long.

So long.

That guys' mother must have
raised him on Shredded Wheat.

[CHUCKLES]
Come on, let's shred the pants.

Okay.

There we are.
Now, watch your stroke.

All right.
To the b*at.

Here we go.
One, two.

Ah-ha.

SHEMP:
I'm glad he only wants
one pair of pants.

Say, I was thinking about
Hargen, that bank bandit.

You know, it's just possible

that he's still hiding
somewhere in this store.

We gotta search
every nook and cranny.

I once had a granny who searched
every nook and cranny.

[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]

I did too.
You know what she found?

What?
This!

Porcupine, you search the front
of the store thoroughly.

Aye, aye, captain.
Ooh!

Why you... Oh!

And mongoose, you and I are
gonna search the back room.

I'm not taking any more orders
from you, you warthog.

I don't blame you, kid.

Oh!

[YELLING]

Look around.

Now, I got you, you bank bandit.

I got you.
I'll crush your skull.

I'll crush your skull.

Oh, I'm sorry, Moe, I thought
you were the bandit.

Oh, forget it, kid.

Oh, thanks.

Pardon me,
do your knuckles hurt?

No.
They will.

Ow! Ow!

[SCREAMING]

What does that
look like? A nail?

Shh.

[DOORKNOB RATTLING]

That must be the bandit.

Yeah.

Hey, you grab him,

I'll nail his feet
to the ground,

we'll send for the cops
and collect the reward.

Viva.
Viva.

[BOTH SPIT]

[GRUNTING]

SHEMP:
I got you now.

You won't get away.

Hey, you stupid stooge!

What's the idea?

You trying to shoe me
like a horse?

Sorry, kid. We thought
you were the bandit.

Don't worry, I'll get it out.

Go ahead.

Ah! My toe!

[YELLING]

Hey, you're k*lling me.
[NAIL SQUEALING]

Oh! Ah!

LARRY:
Dry clean. Dry clean.

SHEMP:
Goldberg. Repair the pockets.

Goldberg.
Repair pockets.

[MAN GRUNTS]

SHEMP:
Yes, what can we do
for you, sir?

We'd like to have our suits
cleaned and pressed

while we wait.

SHEMP:
Why, certainly.

MOE:
Yes, sir.
That's what we'll do.

Uh-oh.

Ooh!

[WHIMPERS]

All right, bub.

Where's that piece of paper
was in my pants pocket?

You mean the one
with the numbers on it?

That's it. That's it.
And the letters L-R-L-R-L-R-L.

Yes, yes. Where is it?

I never saw it.

Oh, a wise guy.

Okay, fellas, make them talk.

MOE: Oh, now, take it easy.
Get them.

Where's that guy who was here?

He went thataway.

Oh, I'll get him, I'll...

Uh...

Oh!

Why...

Cut it out, will you?

Ouch! Oh!

All right, come across
with that paper.

Oh, the paper?
Yes, the paper.

Why didn't you say so?

There it is.

[CRIES OUT]

[AIR HISSING]

Ow!

Hey, Larry, I got him.

THUG:
Ouch! Ooh!

Ouch.
Nice work, Moe.

[SIZZLES]

We might as well press
his pants.

[SIZZLES]
Ouch!

[YELLING]

Where is that paper?

I tell you, I haven't got it.

Ooh!

You'll talk.

Whoa!

There, you'll talk now.

Hey... Shut up.

I...
Where is that piece of paper?

I haven't got it.

Oh, still won't talk.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Ooh!
Oh, I didn't mean it,

I didn't mean it.
Honest, I didn't.

Still won't talk.
Oh!

[CRYING]

Oh!

[GROANING]

[LAUGHING]
[GROANING]

[SIZZLING]

Oh, his head is steaming.

[GASPS]

Success.
[CHUCKLES]

Oh! Oh!

Oh!

SHEMP:
Hey, Moe! Moe, Larry!

Get me off here! Oh!

Kid, take it easy.

Oh, oh, oh.

How do you feel, kid?

Oh, I'm all right.
We got him.

We got Hargen.
Oh.

What's that?
It's Hargen, all right.

Nice work, boys.

We're in the chips.

The moolah.

Now we can pay Skin and Flint.

Oh, a couple of more.

Hold him while
I phone for the wagon.

Okay, sure.

Hey, as soon as we collect
the reward, we'll be all set.

[SOBBING]
I'm so happy.

I'm so happy.

[SOBBING]

Oh, green stuff.

Nix.

I'll take him.
Thanks again, boys.

MOE AND LARRY:
Oh, thank you.

Hurry up, count it quick.
How much we got?

All right, wait a minute.

One hundred, ,
, , ...

A ?

Oh, how'd that get in here?

[LAUGHS]

[♪♪♪]