14x04 - Hold That Lion!

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

Gentlemen, do--

I've been trying
to tell you for an hour

that Mr. Slipp is the
administrator of the estate.

I am only your attorney.

Attorney smurney.

We want our inheritance.

For the th time,
don't you understand?

The will is being probated.

Oh, I forgot.
In this morning's paper

it said our inheritance
ain't tied up anymore.

Wait, I'll read it.

Come on. Hurry up.
We're waiting for you to read.

Don't rush me.

Rome wasn't built in a day,

neither was Syracuse.

I'll read it.

SHEMP READS PAPER:

The estate
of the late Ambrose Rose,

deceased millionaire junk dealer

was today released from probate

by Judge Woodcock R. Strinker.

The estate is now held
by the executor

Mr. Icabod Slipp.

Uh-huh. I've been trying
to subpoena Mr. Slip

but he's been avoiding me.

You know, I think he's trying
to pull something crooked.

My right palm itches.

What's that a sign of?

Your hand's dirty.

Oh.

Why don't you
leave him alone.

Quiet.

Gentlemen, gentlemen.

You want your inheritance,
don't you?

ALL THREE:
And how?

I'll have Mr. Drain
draw up three subpoenas

and then it will be up
to one of you

to serve Mr. Slip.

Uh, then we'll hail him
into court

and settle this matter
once and for all.

To safe time, will one of you
get the Ambrose Rose files

from the filing cabinet and
bring it to Mr. Drain's office?

Get the Ambrose Rose files
from the cabinet over there.

Oh, get it yourself.
I can't see without my glasses.

Oh, no? I'll fix that.
What are you doing?

Well, here we are.

Can you see now?
Yeah.

What's this?
Two dirty fingers.

[GRUNTS]
Go on.

Oh.

[GROANS]
Step aside, nitwit.

I'll show you how to do this.

[GROANS]

Well, fine time
to play hopscotch.

I have to do everything
around here.

Now, pay attention
you two pickle-brains

and learn something.

[LAUGHS]

See. You have
to use your brains.

[GRUNTS]

What happened?

SHEMP AND LARRY:
You used your brains.

[SHEMP AND LARRY LAUGH]

You went under first--

[GRUNTS]

What happens with me?
Nothing.

[GRUNTS]
You.

Sorry, gentlemen, Mr. Drain had
the file all the time.

Subpoenas will be ready
in a minute.

Oh, he had the file
all the time.

How do you like that guy?
What a dope.

How do you like it?
I don't like it.

Besides I don't like this.

But it's a matter of principle
with me.

I'm going to shut that drawer
if it's the last thing I do.

[GRUNTS]

That's the last thing I'll do.

Hello, reservations, please.

Hello, this is Icabod Slipp.

Have you my reservations?

Yes.

Cannonball Express

car , pm.

Thank you very much.

I'll pick them up.

Thank you.

Here's where we beard
the lion in his den.

Yeah, we'll slap-slip
with these subpoenas. Here.

LARRY:
He'll have to give us
the inheritance left.

Yeah. Say, I wonder what
this guy Slipp looks like.

I don't know.
You could search me.

That's a good idea.
We'll search all the offices.

You stand guard.

We'll get the filthy looker.

The moolah.
The gitas.

TOGETHER:
No slippery guy named Slipp

is ever going to cheat us.

A-zee, a-zah, a-zoh.

Go on.

Get going.

[LAUGHS]

So, Mr. Slipp,
at last I catch you

at your desk.
Me?

What did you do with my money

you skunk?

There must be some mistake.

You bet. And you made it.

Give me back my money,
you crook.

Hey, wait a minute.

[LARRY GRUNTS]
Ah-ha.

Come on, you crook.

[LAUGHS]

Larry, anybody come in here?

I think that crook is--
Ah-ha.

Mr. Slipp.

Where's that dough
you gypped me out of?

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Pardon me, did you happen to--
Ah-ha.

At last I've caught you
in your office, Mr. Slipp.

You dirty crook.

Them is fighting words
in my country.

All right, let's fight.

Oh, well,
we're not in my country.

[LAUGHS]

Cop a sneaker, eh?

It's lucky he left.

Yes?

[SHEMP GRUNTS]

[LAUGHS]

The estate
of Uncle Ambrose Rose.

And we thank you.

So long, chumps.

[BOTH GRUNT]
Moe.

Yeah. Hey, a guy thought
I was Slipp.

Me too. I--

[GROANS]

Get him up here.

Take it easy, Shemp.
I'll get it off you.

[MUMBLES]

What did he say?

[MUMBLES]

Get out of here.

This thing is wedged on.
We can't get it off.

We'd better get a hammer
and cr*ck it open.

Now you're using
a bit of your brain.

Go on.

We'll get this thing off.

Hey, I can't find a hammer
but this will do.

I'll shatter it.

Step back.
[MUMBLES]

To the right.

I got it.
Right between the eyes.

Why you goose brain you. I'll--

Wait a minute. Look.

MOE:
Hey, that's the guy
that b*at me up.

LARRY:
Me too. That's Slipp.

How do you like
that dirty crook.

He gave us the business
and scram.

What's this?

Cannonball Express,
car , pm.

He's leaving on a train.

Hey, that's in minutes.

Hurry up. It's getting dark too.

Come on.

[MUMBLES]

Oh, sorry, kid. I forgot.

I'm okay. Thanks.

I would have never gotten
out of there without your help.

You're sure you're all right?
Never felt better in my life.

Let's go.

What happened to him?

I don't know.
Poor kid must have indigestion.

We just made it.

Hey, the train's moving and
we've got no money for tickets.

So what? We'll grab Slipp,

jump off the train
and take him with us.

Yeah. Slipp won't give us
the slip again.

Right. We search
the train carefully

and give everybody
a close, uh--

A close--

Say, what's a good word
for scrutiny?

Scrutiny.
Thanks.

Go ahead.

I don't see him anywhere.

Maybe he's disguised.

Psst.

I'll bet that's him.

Take it off.

[SNORING]

[MAN BARKS]
What is that, a cocker spaniel?

No, I think he's just a spaniel.

[BARKS]
Put it on.

That's not him.

Here he is. He's disguised
with a phony beard.

[GRUNTS]

You idiots.

[GROANS]

Uh-uh.

Tickets, please.

Oh, tickets.
Oh, tickets.

Oh, yes. We left them
right here in the drawing room.

Right this way.

[LAUGHS]

[WOMAN SCREAMS, MAN GRUNTS]

WOMAN:
Go away!

[WOMAN SMACKS MAN, MAN SCREAMS]

MAN:
Oh, take it easy, lady!

[GROANS]

Oh.

MAN:
Hey, you! Come here!

Come here, come here.

Okay, that conductor's after us.
We had better hide.

Hey, in here, fellows.

Come on.

We'll be safe in here.

We'll wait until
the conductor goes

and then we'll find Slipp.

Yeah. Sh.
[LION GRUNTS]

[ROARS]

What's the matter?
You've got indigestion?

No, I feel fine.

Then it must be you. Why don't
you take a bicarbonate of soda.

Shut up.
You want to give us away?

Don't be silly.
We're as safe as babies in here.

[ROARS]

Sh. I'm sure I hear something.

[SNIFFS]

I smell something awful.

You're telling me.
Why don't you use cologne?

Sh. Listen.

[ROARS]

Stop breathing down my neck.

I ain't breathing.

Then it must be you.

How can I be breathing down your
neck when I'm on this side.

Shut up.

Well, maybe there's
a draft behind us.

[ROARS]

[ALL SCREAM]

[TRAIN HORN BLOWS]

I'm paralyzed.
I can't move.

Nevertheless,
we've got to find Slipp.

You'll never find him. The beds
are made up, everybody's asleep.

That's good. And that's just
what we're going to do, sleep.

For once in your life
you're right.

We'll get that crook
in the morning.

Oh.

Take it easy, boys.

Which way is the train going?

I'm going to sleep this way.
Oh, sleep that way.

[HUMMING]

[ROARS]

[SCREAMS]

[ROARS]

Help!

Help! Help! I'm losing my mind.

[MAN SCREAMS]

[ALL SNORING]

[ROARS]

[MOE LAUGHS]

What's the idea?

Stop tickling my foot.

I didn't touch your foot.

You did too. Come on up here
and sleep with us.

Hey, wake up and go to sleep.

Wake up, sleep. Yeah.
Yeah. Come on.

All right.
Under the covers.

Move over.

Hey, get your big feet
off of me.

I ain't got my feet on you.
You've got your feet on me.

Get them off.
I said get the feet off.

Get yours off of me first.

Will you guys keep quiet
or I'll go over there--

[ROARS]

[ALL SCREAMING]

[ALL CLAMORING]

Oh-- Oh, look, a lion.

[MAN SCREAMS]

Boy, that was close.

Hey, it's Slipp.

You dirty--

Why you--
There he goes. Down here.

[BOTH GRUNTS]

Why you--

There he is.

You surround him.
We'll chop him off on this end.

Go ahead.

It's Shemp.

How do you like that.

Say a couple of adjectives.
[MUMBLES]

Quiet.

[MOANS]

It's him, Slipp.

He's out.
Oh, boy.

I'm in heaven.

Oh, the moolah. The gitas.

There's one for you.

There's one for you.

And there's one for me.

[MOANS]

And one for you.

I want the bonds.
Give me the bonds.

That's what I'm out for.
Come on. Hold your horses.

I want it now, this minute.

That's what I want. Right now.

Well, you've got them.

How do you like that? I feel
like a piece of French toast.

One--

[LAUGHS]

[BOTH LAUGH]

You fellows ain't mad?

No.

Oh, mad.

Oh, yeah, mad, huh?

You think mad, huh?
Oh, eggs, eh.

You look like eggs, eh.

Yeah. How do you like that?

[♪]