19x03 - Corny Casanovas

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

[ALL HUMMING
"THE WEDDING MARCH"]

♪ Oh, wedding bells ♪

Oh, boy, am I happy.

Just think, before we know it
we'll all three be married.

Yeah, we'll soon have wives

to do the housework
instead of us.

What gets me is how you two
ever found anyone

who'd marry such house-hunters.

Quiet, titmouse,
and finish your work.

All right.

♪ The wedding bells
Will ring ♪

♪ Ding-dong ♪

♪ The wedding bells
Will ring ♪

[SNEEZES]

Gesundheit.

♪ Ding-dong, ding-dong,
Ding-dong ♪

♪ Ding-dong, ding... ♪

[GRUNTING]

[CRASHING]

[MOE GURGLING]

Moe! Moe. Moe.

[GRUNTING]

Ooh.
Oh.

Gee, Moe, I'm sorry, Moe.

What mo' can a fellow say?

That's all there is,
there ain't no mo'.

You're only nervous.
You were just careless.

Yeah. Thanks.

You're welcome.
Get out of here.

Go on! Get to work.

You, fix the bed.

Who's going to make me?

He is.
He is?

Stupid old buzzard.

Fix the bed.

[BLOWING]

Sloppy housekeepers.

Oh.

Ooh. Ow. Ow.

Oh! Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Ow! Hey, you, get...

Sorry, Moe, the mop did it.

Well, so it did.
Get out of here.

[GRUNTING, THUDS]

There.

Oh! Oh.

Oh, where did I put that? Hm.

I got to get something
to pound with.

Oh, yeah.

No. Oh, yeah,
it's down here.

Oh, this has got it.

Oh!

Oh.

Oh, my head.

MOE:
Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Ow! Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, I'm scalped!

[WHIMPERING]

Oh, my head!

Well, soon as we get
this davenport recovered,

the place will be more
present-a-mental

to the new bribes.

Bribes?
You mean "brides."

Uh-uh. Anybody who'd marry
you two buzzards

would have to be bribed.

Yeah? Shut up.
Oh!

Now, for your information
it was love at first sight.

My girl proposed to me
the minute we met.

Yeah? My girl did too.

Well, that's a coincidental.

That's exactly what my
future wife did to me.

Oh, come on, come on,
cut this material.

All right.
Hold it up there.

There you go.

Right.

How are you coming?
All right, all right.

It's on the bias here.

I must be going
against the grain.

Come on.
All right.

There.
Okay.

Oh.

You stupid idiot.

Wait a minute, I can explain it.

Oh, oh, oh! Oh, my nose,

my poor, poor little cute,
lovable nose.

Oh, there, there, kid.

I was a little bit excited.

Oh.
Come on, you,

fix this material out.
All right.

Get a hammer and some tacks.

Just my luck.

I buy a two-pant suit
and he ruins the coat.

All right, come on,
right here on the end.

Wait a minute,
I got to do this right.

I don't want to miss.

Right. Close to the end.

All right.

[YELLING]

[GRUNTING]

Sorry, Moe, I can't get used
to these bicycle focals.

Why you cement-head.

Oh, oh, oh!

Oh, look.

You wrecked the hammer,
you idiot.

Come on, get busy.

Hold it, fellas,
I've got an idea.

Stretch out the cloth.
I'll take care of everything.

Okay.

Now, level it off
nice and tight.

I'll get it.
There you are.

What's the idea of the r*fle?

That's a continuous-sh**ting
a*t*matic.

I figured if a rivet g*n
can sh**t rivets,

this can sh**t tacks.

You're getting to be a smart
little imbecile.

Thank you.

Here we are. Funnel.

Plenty of tacks.

Ready?

Ready, aim, fire.

[g*nshots]

Ain't bad.

That's nice work,

but we better hurry up
and finish it,

because I got a date
with my girl.

Me too.

Me, three.

Funnel.

More tacks.

Here, let me try it.
Wait...

Hold it. Tacks are here
to hold it up.

SHEMP: Here, let me try it.
LARRY: Wait a minute,

I... I saw it first.
Aw, let me...

[g*nshots]

Ouch! Ouch, ouch.
Oh, I'm losing my mind.

[HOWLING]

Hey, fellas!

Oh. We'd better do something.

Come on.

Hold still, hold still.
Hold still.

Ow!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Ooh! Ow! Ow!

Take it easy,
you're tearing my heart out.

[YELLING]

How do you feel, Moe?
How do I feel?

I'll probably have to eat
all my meals standing up.

Why, you... You missed me.

Did I?
I'll tack the thing myself.

You couldn't let me do it.

You had to gum up the works.

Aw, go stick your
head in a bucket

and see if your nose
will write under water.

Oh, yeah? Why...
Yeah.

[GULPS]

[YELLS]

He swallowed the tacks,
get him over here.

Hurry up. There we go.

The tacks won't come out.

They went in,
maybe they're income tax.

I got an idea.
Roll him on his back.

All right.
Hold steady there.

Come on there, hold steady.

Right over there. Come on.

Here we are.
Take it easy.

Move it.
Here, I got a magnet.

Open your mouth, Moe.
That's it.

Here we go. Here.

There we are.

Move your tonsils. That way.
That's it, that's it.

Cough 'em up.
Cough 'em up!

Hold it.

Are you okay now, Moe?

Take it easy.
Don't worry. Don't worry, Moe.

These tacks will never
att*ck you again.

But I will.

Wait a minute.
Let him alone.

Quiet, you guys.

Have an apple.
Thank you.

Yeah, I'll be right over.

Are you sure you love me,
cutie-pie?

Of course I do, darling.

[SMACKING LIPS]

Mm, mm, she loves me!
She loves me!

She loves me! Oh.

But she loves me..

She loves me.

She loves me not.

She loves me.

She loves me not.

She loves me.

Oh, boy,
now I'll polish my shoes.

Where's the dabber?

Well, I got to give myself
a good shine here.

[HUMMING]

Hey, where's Larry?

Phoning his girlfriend.
Wonder what she looks like.

So do I. For that matter,

I wonder what your girl
looks like. You never told me.

Well, that makes us even.

You never told me
what your girl looks like.

Probably a goon.

Yeah.

Give me that brush.
Put that brush down.

Oh, all right.

Now get out of here.
You're always picking on me.

Yeah. I'm going to catch up
with you, brother,

you keep talking about my girl.

That's a good way to get your
head busted, remember that now.

Oh, yes.

[YELLS]
Oh, oh, oh, oh.

There.

Hey, kid, forget it.
Forget it.

I lost my head.
Here, rinse your mouth.

There you are.

Hold it, Moe.
I'll fix it.

I'll fix you up.
Just take it easy, kid.

Wait a minute, kid,
just a little more.

Just right here.
I gotta put it on.

[EXHALING HEAVILY]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Oh, come in.

I knew you were coming
so I baked a cake.

Oh, thank you.

And I've got something
for my little cutie-pie too.

Oh!

Close your eyes.

Open your eyes.

Oh.

There. Now,
how about a little kiss?

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Oh, i-it's... It's mama.

I want to break the news
to her gently about us.

Would you mind waiting
in the left bedroom?

The left bedroom. Yes.

Hurry up, Larry.

[KNOCKING]

Darling, come in.

I knew you were coming
so I baked a cake.

Oh, fancy that.
You're a hunny-bunny.

Hey, what's... What's...?
Oh, this.

I have bells
on my fingers and...

rings on my toe.

Oh.
How about a kiss?

[KNOCKING]

It's mama. I want to break
the news to her gently about us.

Would you mind waiting
in the right bedroom?

The right bedroom. Yes.

Hey.

Oh. Oh, darling.

[KNOCKING]

Darling, come in.

I knew you were coming
so I baked a cake.

Oh, you shouldn't
ought to done it,

but I didn't forget you either.
Close your eyes.

Won't you come and sit down?

I have something else for you.

And now, honey,

you can have me with you
all the time.

That's me, honey.

[SHEMP GIGGLING]
[MEOWS]

[GROWLING]

Pardon me.
Pardon me.

What are you doing
in my girl's house?

Your girl?
She's my girl.

We'll see about that.
Come on.

Yeah, all right, I'm with you,
don't worry.

Hey, what are you doing
in my girl's house?

She's my girl.

You're both double-crossers.
I'll tear you apart.

Come on, get out of here.

You.
You muscling in on my girl.

I'll tear your tonsils out.
Oh, you will, eh?

Don't you dare!

[GROANS]

[WHIMPERS]

Look what you did?

Quiet.
Put up your hands.

Come on, get out of here.

Oh, so you want to fight, eh?
I'll give it to you.

What do you know about that?
Yeah?

I'm a little too speedy for you,
eh?

Go ahead.
Why, I'll dust you off.

Wait'll I get through
a little skippin' here.

Now I'm ready for you, kid.

Go ahead.
Come on.

Can you take it?
Yeah.

Can you take it?
Yeah.

All right.
I can take it.

Get out of here.

Steal my girl, eh?

Ah.

[YELLING]

Do that to me, will you?

Larry, I'll m*rder you!

Larry, I tell you I'll...

Quiet.
Why you...

[BANGING]

Sweetheart.

Hm. So long, suckers.

[BIRD CHIRPING]

She loves me.

She loves me not.

She loves me.

[♪♪♪]