05x04 - Family Fun and Games

[bunniefuu]

♪ Whoa, oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ So much to see ♪

♪ So much to do ♪

♪ Let's share a dream ♪

♪ Make it come true ♪

♪ Us girls' got ♪

♪ The right combination ♪

♪ Make our way
To new destinations ♪

♪ Imagine all
The possibilities ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ You can be anything ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Barbie's here, gonna sing ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Adventure
Yeah, that's our thing ♪

♪ It's the
Dreamhouse Adventures ♪

My phone says to go that way.

Well, your phone is wrong.

Mine says we need
to go that way.

[brakes squeaking]

- [both gasping]
- Guys!

Not now, Chelsea.

Barbie and I
are duking this out.

You really
need to see this.

Oh, no!

Ever make a mistake so big
you thought there was no way
to get over it?

And then you tried to get
over it by making up for it,

but that only made
everything worse?

Yeah, I was about to have
one of those days.

All because I wanted to spend
some quality time
with my sisters.

[man on TV]
If you live in the Malibu area,
come on down and try out.

We're the show that brings
people together,

tears them down,
then builds them back up.

While turkeys gobble,
gobble, gobble, we...

[bot chanting]
Squabble! Squabble! Squabble!

- [both] Hey!
- I thought you guys wanted
to plan our sister day.

Can't we do it after the show?

It's coming to Malibu.

Why don't we try out?

For
Squabble. Squabble. Squabble.

No, thank you.
They make everyone on there
look like complete fools.

- Only the ones
that can't handle it.
- But we could.

And we'd win big bucks.

I'm game.
Let's do it.

OK. I'll put it on
the "maybe" list.

But let's see what else we can
come up with first.

I was thinking
a road trip up the coast.

Maybe try to find
a new beach to explore.

Yeah, that sounds amazing.

- And then we could...
- We could go surfing,

and we could stop by some
cool little restaurant.

[Skipper]
Oh, that sounds awesome.

OK, people, I'll give it
to you straight.

Ratings are down.
No one's watching our show.

We need a big stunt,
or the network's cancelling us.

Who's got a plan to save my...
I mean, our jobs?

- Hmm? Anyone? Anyone?
- [clears throat]

You, in the back.
Missy.

It's Mandy.

Well, anyway,
I was searching online

for interesting local families.

You know, a special one
that a lot of people
would want to...

Destroy?

Well, I was going to say
"root for," but anyway,

I think I found
the perfect family.

Hello there.
I'm Henrik Henrikson.

You probably
recognize me from TV.

[tsks]
Don't care.

[stutters]
Hang on.

We're looking for families
to compete on

Squabble. Squabble. Squabble.

Aren't you Malibu's
family of the year?

No.

Is your show the one
that humiliates people?

[chuckles]
You could say that.

Oh, you want the Roberts.
Next door.

Oh, thanks for doing this, Trey.

Ken usually feeds the puppies
when we're away,

but since he's outta town
and my parents are, too,

it's really kind of you
to look after them.

Whatever. My mom cut off
my allowance this week,

so I need the cash.

Use this key to get in
and to get out.

What kind of house
needs a key to get out?

A very secure one.

It's a special feature my mom
added for when we're away.

Here's a spare, just in case
you lose the first one.

You think I'd lose it?

Do you trust me or not?

Don't answer that.

- Ready Barbie?
- Coming.

Thanks again.
Have fun.

- Oh, we'll have a swell time,
won't we?
- [door shuts]

- [growling]
- [yelps]

Ooh, put a filter on that one.

[chuckles]
Yeah. Ooh, you are handsome.

Uh, Henrik?
I think that's...

Uh, never bother me
when I'm in the middle of...

[yelps]

[groans]
What?

Your ideal contestants
just drove away.

Isn't this great?

It's been ages
since just the four of us

did something really
special together.

Nothing like
a sisters' day out!

It'd be better
if we all had a say

- in what we do
on said "day out."
- [laughs]

OK, navigator. How much further
to the secret beach?

Oh, was I supposed
to be keeping track?

[beeps]

"Trey. Make sure feeder is on."

Duh. "Check for
appropriate portions."

Double-duh.

[whining]

[sighs]

"Make sure no puppies
steal from each other's bowls."

Seriously?
Where's the fun in that?

How do you work this thing?

[electronic beeping]

Stop, stop, stop!

[yells]
Not for people!

Get me out of this crazy place!

Come on.
[grunting]

[computer voice]
Warning! Intruder alert!

Great. The key.

Where is it?

[growling]

My phone says
to go that way.

Well, your phone is wrong.

Mine says we need
to go that way.

[brakes squeaking]

- [both gasping
- Guys!

Not now, Chelsea.

Barbie and I
are duking this out.

You really
need to see this.

[both] Oh, no!

[crashing]

[Barbie]
And just like that,

our beloved family camper

had taken its last road trip.

This is all my fault.

I must have forgotten

to set the emergency brake.

What am I going to
tell mom and dad?

They'll understand.
No one was hurt.

It was just an accident.
Accidents happen.

But this is a huge accident!

Our camper.
Our wonderful camper.

- I need to fix it.
- How?

Unless your allowance
is way more than mine.
It's not, is it?

I've been saving from my job
at the waterpark,

but there's no way
I have enough money
to buy a whole new camper.

I know how we can get the money.

This is a crazy idea.

So crazy, it just might work.

Assuming we ever get
to the front of the line.

You there!
Family of the year.

Step right up
to the front of the line.

You think you can outsmart me?

[grunts]

Come on.
Give it back.

Whatever.
I don't need a stupid key.

I've got the power of strategy.

Let me out!

- [alarm blaring]
- [computer voice]
Warning. Intruder alert.

Huh? I'm no intruder.
I'm a Reardon.

You're lucky
I'm even in this house.

[computer voice] Correction.
Intruder with attitude.

Activating
protection procedure.

Protection what?

[screams]

- [barking]
- Mommy!

I have to call Mommy.

- [phone rings]
- No, no, no!

Trey? What are you doing?

Aren't you supposed to be
feeding those dogs?

I'm stuck!
This house trapped me.

I can't even hear you.
You sound miles away.

I'm hanging up.

[groans]

[host] Live from beautiful
Malibu, California.

It's a special edition of
Squabble. Squabble. Squabble.

The show that brings
people together,

tears them down,
then builds them back up.

While turkeys gobble,
gobble, gobble, we...

[crowd chants]
Squabble! Squabble! Squabble!

[laughs]
We have some very special
contestants today, folks.

Straight from winning
Malibu's family of the year,

it's Chelsea, Stacey, Skipper,
and Barbie Roberts.

[crowd cheering]

Will the pressure to win
turn this loving family

into a bickering batch
of bad sisters?

[crowd chants]
Squabble! Squabble! Squabble!

Or can they stick together
to b*at the game

and win our fabulous
treasure chest?

[crowd]
Oooh!

First up, the bubble race.

Hit the mark
or we'll burst your bubble.

[laughs]

- Ready, set, go!
- [buzzer sounds]

[crowd cheering]

[crowd gasps]

Oops!

- Skipper!
- I didn't mean to!

Ooh, hoo-hoo!

Hostility right out
of the gate.

Just the way we like it.

[applause]

[cheering]

Guys, the stack is too thin.
We need a bigger base.

- Like a pyramid.
- Brilliant.

Go, Team Roberts!

[crowd gasps]

Looks like the Roberts family
is pretty clever.

But how will they handle this?

Bring out
the marshmallow cannon!

[cheering]

[beeping]

Hi-ya!

Way to go, Skipper.

- Hi-ya!
- Wah!

[grunts]

Stacey, up top!

Got it!

[cheering]

We did it.

Looks like the fam of the year
is living up to their name.

[chuckles]
For now.

[barking]

I'm not happy
about this either.

Trey!
What on earth are you doing?

Quit playing around
and get down here
right this instant!

Don't you think
I would if I could?

Wait, how did you
get in here, anyway?

- Well, you left the spare key.
- Great.

Whatever you do, don't...
[groans]

- Let the puppies get it.
- [barking]

For heaven's sakes.
I don't have time for this.

I've got my teeth whitening
in an hour.

[screams]

- [alarm blaring]
- [computer voice]
Intruder alert.

Intruder?

- [yelling]
- [barking]

Worst. Neighbors. Ever.

How about it, folks?
Best family ever!

[cheering]

But no one likes an easy win.

So for the rest of the game,
how about we mix things up?

The Roberts family will have
to compete against...

each other!

[all] What?
No way!

My game, my rules.

Barbie and Skipper on one team,
Stacey and Chelsea on the other.

How is that fair?
They're just two little girls.

- Hey!
- We're not that little.

This is not
what we signed up for.

Well, you can quit
if you like.

But then nobody wins
the big prize.

[crowd exclaims]

Give us a sec.

- I say we keep going.
- Yeah, I really
wanna b*at this guy.

You've watched this show.

You know the whole point of it
is to tear people apart.

We're already torn apart
into separate teams.

Or are you just afraid to be
shown up by two little girls?

What?
Not even.

What do you say, Barbie?
For the camper?

Was I really about
to put my sisters through
a humiliating experience

just because I wasn't ready
to tell my parents
about the camper?

Or was this just another great
opportunity for family time?

Funny how easy it is
to rationalize

when you don't want
to face the truth.

Are you sure you wanna
go through with this?

No. I'm not sure
about anything,

except the fact
that I'd do about anything

to replace the camper.

Now it gets interesting.

It's big sisters
versus little sisters

in the yoga pose gauntlet.

[cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering]

Ha.

[cheering]

Seriously?

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

[yells]

[crowd groans]

Ooh, too bad, Skipper.

This one goes to
team little sisters.

- Yeah!
- Whoo-hoo! Good job.

[laughing]

Poppy?
Did you find Trey?

[both] Up here!

Whatever are you doing
in those nets?

Way too complicated
to explain.

Can you just help
get us down, please?

And whatever you do,
don't let the door...

[beeps]

Why do I even bother?

[applause]

- Yes! Pogo stick soccer!
- We got this.

[both] Seriously?

OK.
The rules are simple.

First team to get all
their balls in the net wins.

Feel free to work together...

Or not.

On your mark, get set...

- [exhales]
- Pogo!

[grunts]

[grunts]

- Good one!
- Yes!

[yelping]

How do you stop this thing?

Whoa! Ow!

Skipper's down.
We can win this.

[crowd boos]

- Aw.
- Too bad.

[crowd cheering]

[grunting]

[crowd cheering]

We won!

She doesn't have to
brag about it.

Winners get to make the calls.

Or have you already forgotten

what it feels like to win?

- [crowd oohs]
- Nothing like a little pressure

to bring out
a loving family's true colors.

Is anyone going to help me?

[screaming]

Help!

Whittaker, stop playing
with the dogs!

Playing?
They're terrorizing me!

Just get us down.

And get the keys.

Ha, I outsmarted you.

- [growling]
- Got 'em.

Now what?
Wha...

This is ridiculous.

I'm going for professional help.

[Trey]
No, no, don't touch that...

[computer voice]
Intruder alert.

Activating
protection procedure.

Whoa!

Hey. Use your own helmet.

Sorry. Sheesh.

Oh, what have I done?

Oh, look at the numbers.
We are on fire.

I need you to find more of these
so-called "perfect families."

Tearing to shreds brings
a whole new meaning to the word

Squabble. Squabble. Squabble.

Technically that's one word
three times, but anyway,

what if one of those girls
actually makes it

to the end of the game?

You know
the treasure chest is empty.

[stuttering]
Already handled.

No one will survive
the last challenge.

[cackles]

Guys, we need to talk.

Let me guess.
You think that we should go

easy on you so you can win.

No, I would never ask that.

I overheard Henrik,
and there's no cash prize.

And even if there was,
the game is rigged
so we can never win.

[gasps]
Barbie!

This means there's no way
to replace the camper.

I know.
This whole thing is a big mess
that I've only made worse.

I should have just told
Mom and Dad what happened
and dealt with the consequences.

You'll get a chance
to do that now.

I'm sorry, Barbie.

We didn't realize how hard
this must be for you.

Thanks for trying to help me.

We really do make
a good team.

We should've won this thing.

Who says we still can't?

So here's where
it gets interesting.

The final challenge
is a one-on-one battle royale

over the Pit of Shame!

[crowd]
Ohh...

[Henrik] First sister to
knock the other three in

will get a straight sh*t
to the treasure chest.

- [applause]
- Let the squabbling begin.

[all] We are Team Roberts!

- Yeah!
- [all laughing]

That's not supposed to happen.

What are they doing?

[crowd gasps]

Phew.

They're working together
as a family!

They'll never get past this.

[grunts]
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

No, no!

Whoa!

[gasps]

Yikes!

We got this.

This is a nightmare.

Time to end this.

[cannon whirrs]

[all] Marshmallows?

Whoa, whoa! Phew.

[yelling]

[crowd cheering]

Where are you going?

Don't you want to tell
the audience what they won?

Ahh...

Why don't we all open
the chest together?

So the whole world
can see what kind of a guy
you really are.

No! Don't!

Empty.
How could that be?

Don't tell us
this whole show is a scam.

[crowd boos]

So, we didn't win any money.

But the support of my sisters
made it a lot easier

to come clean with Mom and Dad.

They took it pretty well.

It seems they both had
family car mishaps

when they were teens, too.
And guess what?

The insurance company
discovered there was a problem
with the parking break.

It wasn't even my fault
the camper rolled away.

It all turned out OK.
Except for one remaining fact.

Our camper was no more.

We are gathered here today
to say goodbye

to a truly amazing
family member.

Goodbye old camper.

Thanks for the memories.

Thanks for being
so understanding, Mom.

Just promise me that next time
something goes wrong,

no matter how big,
you'll tell us.

Lesson learned.

Never again will
my first option be

humiliate my entire family
on a game show.

It was fun putting
Henrik in his place.

But I'm still gonna miss
the old camper.

We all are.

I have a feeling

we'll get over it pretty quickly

once we get used to
the new one.

[horn honks]

What?!

[excited chatter]

Oh, I'm so glad you all love it.

Hey.
Anyone seen the puppies?

Are they ever
gonna come inside?