What does he want?
Take this!
Good morning. Is there any mail?
They came again for the rent.
When I go out.
Yeah. Either when I go out
and or when I return.
Hello. Excuse me
if I dared come in, but I...
Brigadier, I am innocent.
I'm an honest worker.
Look at the blisters on my hands.
If I'd really been a brigadier,
maybe you'd have gotten rid of me.
I wanted to see what you could do.
Not bad.
But next time, chose a less
wealthy building with a double gate.
- You don't trust me?
- A man breaks into my house
and I should trust him?
- Cigarette?
- No.
- It's Swiss.
Make yourself comfortable. I'll talk.
- Look at this guy.
- These are tough times.
This job is in a crisis.
But you and your friends here
did a good job.
But you failed because
of organizational lack
which is the flaw of you Romans.
You insist. How can I tell you?
I don't know anything.
I am a friend of Dante Cruciani,
the man who taught you
to work on safes.
- Ask him about the Milanese guy.
- What?
I came from Milan
to offer you a nice little job.
Very well paid, extremely well paid.
Listen to me.
If I took the wrong door earlier,
this time you took the wrong one.
This is the home of a man
who has turned the page,
and lives off of his honest job.
- Work at the building site is over,
and you don't have a job.
But that isn't my job.
I am a boxer,
and I am in contact again with
the boxing world for a comeback.
Think about it. I'll see you tomorrow
at p.m. at cafe Niagara.
Yeah sure, go ahead and wait!
Tomorrow I've a medical examination
for a check-up on my psy...
- Did you call me?
- Psycho-physical reactions.
- This is their notification.
- Best wishes.
Yes. You'll see.
A small formality and Baiocchi
Giuseppe, known as Panther,
will return to the ring.
Yes, turn around.
- I am a lion, doctor.
- Stop.
- Perfect shape.
- Go straight to that wall
with raised arms and eyes closed.
Hi, Peppe. A guy's been waiting
a half hour for you. What'd you do?
What do you care?
Think for yourself.
- Hello.
- Don't start acting like a Roman.
- The first rule is being on time.
- My watch stopped. Waiter!
- You don't have a watch.
- The bus watch.
- Another Campari for me.
- The usual. Put it on my bill.
- The gentleman paid.
- I paid your tab and a notebook.
- Which notebook?
- Where they signed your tab.
- You know Milan, don't you.
- Well, I've never been there.
- So much the better.
- Here's the Campari, the usual.
Good for you, kid.
It's milk. I had whiskey intoxication
and must remain sober.
Let's proceed with order.
Every Sunday a car takes money
from the Milan Football Pool
to the bank.
We must block that car. On it,
there's a guy in cahoots with me
for letting us take the suitcase
with the loot.
I understand. Excuse me.
Everything is set. Only half
to me and the rest to the men.
- But they must be bright men.
- Of course.
I have many in Milan,
but they have a problem.
- They are too well known.
- Of course.
- Do you have any?
- Of course I do.
I have the best.
You thought you'd trick me, huh?
Come.
Watch out. If the usher sees us,
they'll kick me out. I'm on trial.
Did it start a long time ago?
- Did you find a job?
- No, but the engagement party
will take place anyway.
- The expenses will increase.
What do the people who see you
knocking at our door, think?
You never let me in.
- You can see Carmela once engaged.
- I'll get engaged.
Capannelle, put back
the popcorn bag.
I haven't eaten in days.
See what a nice ceremony?
They are so lovely.
- They make such a nice couple.
- But we are engaged.
- You will be, after the wedding.
- Mom, the others are here!
Best wishes. of these days
and much happiness.
- My homage.
- Much obliged.
- My duty.
- Did you invite them?
They would've been offended
if I didn't invite them. Go!
- It cost me liras.
- A flower?
No, a fine because
I stepped on the flower beds.
- Much obliged.
- I bought it.
It's hot.
You can take your jackets off.
Thanks. Very kind of you.
- One moment. You never know.
- You don't trust anyone, huh?
My sister never found out,
and she must not know
about our past activities.
- Yes. We met at Catechism.
- Put your jacket back on.
- With best wishes
on this wonderful day.
- Who invited you?
You two almost knifed each other,
but then...
Here she is. The sister is as lovely
as the brother is ugly.
Please. Put this in the refrigerator
and we'll toast later.
- Much obliged.
- Delicious.
- Carmela made them.
- No. I hand made them.
Young men, let's drink.
- Let's drink to the last amnesty.
- It's too noisy. Let's go there.
- Come on.
- When did you start your dowry?
Since .
I began when I was four.
- You're not closing the door?
- It's gone. I used it as a table.
So...
- Work is going badly, huh?
- How do you know?
How do I know?
I found out you can't even pay
the priest who will marry you.
Your girlfriend left you
after finding out you had no money.
- Who told you?
- Word leaked out.
I don't bother with it.
Supposing it is true, so what?
We all have a tendency
towards a steady job,
but willpower isn't a salary.
- Out with it.
There's a guy who...
There's a guy who came from Milan
to propose a job to me.
Got that?
A job with an alibi,
all calculated, all scientific.
You must stop with
this "scientific" thing.
You beggar!
f*ck off all three of you.
Listen to this guy.
I come to offer a pile of money
and he is sarcastic.
- How much?
- About million a head.
- Are you sure?
- Michele, Mario.
The guests are waiting
for you to toast.
We'll be right there.
- Someone took the bathroom light.
- Forget it.
Since this time the plan of action
will deal with cars,
we need a car expert.
Someone who transforms, rigs...
Did I explain it well enough?
The mechanic we know
is a fine artist.
You give him a Topolino car
and he has it become a truck,
and has a truck become
a motorbike.
Yes, but he starts talking about
family problems and doesn't stop.
He is separated. His wife is dating
Alfredo, a bookshop owner.
- What is this?
- They argue over their son.
Did they put a cheval-de-Frise.
We aren't at the border here.
Come on, hurry!
Here it is.
Your daddy told you it was here.
Domenico, how much
is this Alfa Romeo jet?
- !
- ! Put it inside the bag.
- Is this an Aprilia?
- An Ardea. It's smaller.
The Aprilia is more pointed
in the back.
Stop a second.
See where it's moving?
Look.
Darn you!
- If we had brought a r*fle....
- Dad was it a lark?
- No, it was a quail.
- So little?
Not that much. An Ardea
is smaller than an Aprilia,
just as a lark
is smaller than a quail.
Alfredo says birds are kind
and we shouldn't sh**t them.
That's because bookshop owners
are ignorant. Are owls kind?
An owl is as mean as Alfredo,
but he's even stupid.
Ugo, some people want you.
Gentlemen passing by.
- Ugo Nardi, the engine wizard.
- My pleasure.
- Pleased to meet you.
- Cute kid. Look at those eyes.
- He got them from his dad.
- Nice curls.
- He got them from his dad.
- And the bump on his forehead?
- A shoe.
- He got that from his mom.
Go play. First she does everything
to take him away from me,
and then she hits him.
You don't know that I'm separated.
- Yes, I do.
- Everyone knows now.
Who do you think
my mother-in-law lives with now?
- With who?
- With me! My wife left
and my mother-in-law stayed.
If I had money for a lawyer...
You do. Is enough?
Or try directly with the Sacred Rota.
- what?
- million.
- Clara! Bitch!
- It's my turn today to have the boy!
Leave him alone!
You'll pay for everything.
I'm writing everything for the trial!
I'll show you.
Guys, knock on wood.
She brings bad luck.
He's coming. Come on, guys!
Ugo Nardi, the engine wizard.
My pleasure.
He is Angeletti Mario.
He is Capannelle.
His appearance isn't too great,
but behind his forehead
there is the intelligence of a fox.
He is Ferribotte, known as
Silence because he doesn't talk much,
but when he does,
each word is of great importance.
- There's beer. Help yourselves.
- Drink beer and you'll get to .
- There you go.
- It's very hot here,
but they don't ask many questions.
Each keeps his hands to himself
and his tongue between his teeth.
You all know what it is about,
but don't know why that Football Pool
accountant is in cahoots with me.
A woman is involved.
As the proverb says:
"As young as a woman may be,
she is shrewder than the devil."
It's because of that woman that
the accountant is off his rocker.
That's how it is...
Yeah.
She's a sort of cousin of mine.
A real cousin.
I'll introduce her to you.
The girl's word is important. Clear?
- It's clear.
- She gets a tan naked there.
Won't she get cold, poor thing?
It's very hot.
You must not look.
Floriana!
- Yes?
- Come say hello to these friends.
Right away.
- You two go back inside.
- Yes.
Go back inside.
- Big brain!
- Come on.
It's as if you've never seen...
- The wind is starting to blow.
- Thank goodness!
- What the...?
- The cigarettes?
We would like an explanation.
Peppe wasn't too clear.
- What are you saying?
- On that Sunday
you'll go to Milan
with a nice fan train
to watch the Milan-Roma game,
second championship day.
- I am a Palermo fan.
- What's that got to do with it?
- You won't watch the game.
- He's kidding.
Excuse me, but that thing...
What's it called?
- Where is the alibi?
- Where is the alibi?
The alibi is that you guys
will return to Rome
with the fan club train that left
while you were doing the hit.
Meaning?
- Is this a magic trick?
- Are we magic?
Only the engine prepared by Nardi
will be magic.
I'm following.
With that engine, you must join
the fan club train in Bologna
in one hour and minutes.
- With only the engine?
Should I assemble it on Capannelle?
Who will give me the car?
Buy a used car, do an estimate
budget, I'll take care of it.
Excuse me, but shouldn't we
take a look at the site of the hit?
- No need.
- No need.
All you need to know
about Milan is here.
Plans, maps and blueprints.
It's all perfectly organized
in every single detail,
by myself and Amedeo,
that accountant over there.
These are the maps
where the streets and itineraries
you will take are marked.
- Here you are. Look there.
- Yes, it's very clear.
- No, it's clear like this.
- In fact.
With this material,
the work is easier than monopoly.
- Right, Floriana?
- I never learned that game
because it's too hard for me.
- Look here.
The Football Pool car leaves
from the main office every Sunday
and always takes this itinerary
up to the Via Ferrante Aporti tunnel.
At the other opening
you'll be with the truck here.
When their car arrives,
it drives in reverse
and you'll clash.
It's a child's game.
Covered, without traffic.
You'll jump to the ground, tell
the accountant to leave the loot.
Right? Right, Floriana?
- Yes, yes.
- Say it with a Milan accent.
Does anyone speak it here?
I once did a novices' tournament
in Bergamo.
- Let's hear it.
- Bergamo "hura", Bergamo "hota".
Sounds good, huh?
- It works.
- Floriana, I put him in your hands.
- Give him a couple of lessons.
- Alright.
Come to me early tomorrow morning,
:, noon. Be on time.
No. I must write a letter.
Come at in the evening.
If you don't speak with a Milan
dialect, he doesn't understand?
- He's not an idiot like you.
- Be good.
I'm an idiot and am happy.
Who says it is a bigger idiot.
The words in the Milan dialect
serve to...
That's a good one.
- He was saying...
- So if anyone hears you,
they don't think you're Roman.
It is part of the alibi.
It's the train, the accelerated one
from Pescara of :.
In a month it will be electric
and the landlord will raise the rent.
Who did that? Filthy pig!
- It's out of gas.
- How much did you put inside?
liters, but there are
too many carburetors.
The engine is rigged,
but when we do the hit,
everyone will see our faces.
We thought of that too.
- Holy Mary!
- Wow!
- Dracula the vampire.
- Maybe he's better than before.
- He's more human.
- With this stocking
not even your mother
will recognize you.
- Who is it?
- Cool beer for everyone!
- My gosh!
- My features have changed, huh?
Let's recapitulate.
Peppe and Mario, on the truck,
Sour Foot on this one.
Who will take the third car?
Him or Capannelle?
They are both expert drivers,
but the best is Ferribotte.
- Delinquent!
- Poor guy. Did you hurt yourself?
You're supposed to be the best?
I said, foot on the brake.
- I did that.
- It's the accelerator.
The one in the center is the brake
where your leg is swollen
from kicks!
- So now we'll eat bread and soil.
- He'll beat us up. Accelerate.
Slowly, there's the sidewalk.
Brake slowly. Step on the clutch
or the engine will go off.
- Good. Now slip out the key.
- It won't slip out.
That is the signal light lever.
- Yes, but why did we stop?
- Wait here.
Today is not your day.
I know, but Sunday I'm going hunting.
I'm your dad. You want to put
a meter inside of me?
- Why don't you take me hunting?
- It's big game, wolves.
- You always read. What book was it?
- A book on the life of insects.
What? Learn to k*ll them.
The kitchen is full of cockroaches.
Give me the wheel. I'll drive.
Let's try again.
I only understood "suitcase".
Between the Milan dialect
and you, who talk with
a ball in your mouth, it's a mess.
I don't mean to be nosy,
but why can't you say "R"?
- Are you offended?
- No.
It was a bombing. I was years old
and couldn't pronounce "R"s.
It was like a shock
and I never learned after that.
It's no big deal, hardly noticeable.
But then, I don't know if it's
noticeable, but I stutter sometimes.
I trip over some words.
Especially when I find myself
close to a lovely lady.
When sunset approaches,
I feel alone.
My fragile existence is smothered
by a profound nostalgia.
- You don't have a girlfriend?
- I did, but she ran away.
"Women are like chestnuts."
"Beautiful outside but rotten
inside." Excluding those present.
She said it was because
I didn't have a job.
Not even people
without a record have steady jobs.
A job... Darn it.
It won't end like this.
I'll buy a car meters long.
I'll get a white tuxedo,
and go below her windows
at Pieve di Cadore.
I want her to eat her heart.
I will change my life too.
Do you have a match?
- No.
- Amedeo said
that he'll have me quit my job
and take me to Venezuela or "Mehico".
- You can't pronounce "X" either?
- No. It's pronounced "Mehico".
It's the only place where
you can marry without divorcing.
- Is he married?
- Yes, with a wicked woman.
Give it to me. I'll do it.
Darn it!
We'll smoke later.
- You'll quit? Are you employed?
- Yes.
- Where?
- Dancing Arizona Striptease.
- What?
- Striptease.
Turn around. We'll try again.
- Can this word be changed?
- It so easy.
Follow my lip movements.
- You'll never learn like this.
- Wait, I'll help you.
Hold still. You'll ruin my sweater.
Well? What's the striptease like?
Come here.
Show me a little piece.
It's something stupid. Give it to me.
Without music, it's useless.
Amedeo wrote the words
to the song and they're lovely.
Isn't he nice?
Give me the top.
Darn! Sing a bit of it.
- I care for Amedeo.
- Of course, you're right.
I like you because
you understand me.
I met Amedeo in a cafe
with a tv set.
He said he wanted to see
the program and then commit su1c1de.
- Was it Cinelandia?
- Instead, we ate an ice-cream.
- That's better.
- He had a walnut one.
- Mine was strawberry and chocolate.
- Miss, the phone!
Long distance call from Milan!
It's the accountant!
Darn it! A phone call...
Where are you going? Come here.
Hello? Is it you, darling?
Of course I think of you.
I was just talking about you.
I'm leaving now and will be with
you tonight. It's all organized.
We have very trusted elements.
They are real gentlemen.
Yes. Bye, love.
- Change of license plate.
- Change of plate carried out.
Try again.
- Ok.
- Great. He's bright.
I told you so.
They are boys that I trained.
Tickets for tomorrow's train
round trip. Departure at : p.m.
- Should I keep them?
- Tickets for the game.
- Yes, alright.
- . each.
Silk stockings for your face.
A watch each,
all set at the same time.
They have the means, a rich city...
What's that got to do with it?
As far as intelligence goes,
we are always the best.
- Of course.
There's something else.
- Did you see?
- This is to have the driver behave.
- Who should use it?
- Peppe.
Is sh**ting involved?
The next time you propose
a peaceful job...
- Don't make me nervous.
- I'll slam you up against a wall.
- What?
- Stop it!
- If I think about it...
Mario is getting married. I want to
take his place in the as*ault.
I have excellent precedents. I worked
with Armandino of Macerata.
This is something else.
Are you my nanny?
- I'm in.
- This doesn't have a firing pin.
It doesn't work.
It's just to scare people.
Your assignment is more delicate.
Come here. You too, Nardi.
This is your car. It's here.
Yours is here.
At the set moment, you must leave
together and cause confusion.
You, on one side...
Where is your car?
- Here it is.
- And you on the other.
- With matches?
- I gave my boy the car,
or he would've wanted to return
to the bitch.
- He means the boy's mother.
- Yes.
- Enough. Let's get to work.
- No, I understood. Look.
- The bitch!
- You see?
I should leave my son
in this environment.
Well? We were doing a check
for an accident.
We are the insurance technicians.
- Mr. Martini, Rossi...
- Carpano.
- Come, attorney.
- Madam.
- I was here to settle the situation.
- Enough!
- Who was he?
- The attorney.
- Carletto. Carletto, run!
- Carletto, come with Mom.
- Carletto!
- I'll report you for kidnapping!
I can't keep him on Sunday
because I have a commitment.
- So I moved up my turn!
- You won't move anything up.
- I will!
- Aren't you ashamed
in front of the child?
- Let's take turns with your mom too.
Holy Mary gives me the strength,
I will stay with my son-in-law.
We aren't married.
We can break up right away.
You know I'd never have the heart
to abandon you.
I will never go back to my daughter.
I am Catholic and don't like
her life style.
What about his? These four slobs
he associates with.
You offend now? I am noting
everything for the trial.
Did you hear her?
She called you are slobs!
I will note it, four slobs.
And with me, it makes .
Why don't you believe it?
I'll read the accompanying letter.
Dear Mr. Mario,
since you collected and sent us
caps of Chinotto Sport,
we sent you two tickets
for the Milan-Roma game in Milan.
Sincerely yours.
- Here. Read it.
- Very funny. I can't read!
- Oh, right!
- You'll pay for the trip,
and they'll cut off our electricity
and gas here.
- Darn it!
- No. It's the eviction notification.
Oh, right. But we made it, huh?
Shall we bring the coffeemaker?
They make lousy coffee in Milan.
- Where are you going?
- You pulled off my button.
I can't even talk to her?
We are engaged.
Watch out.
Don't try to make bread crumbs.
Carmela, a button came off.
Are you offended? Sorry, but
I forgot you didn't go to school.
We lived in the country, and
the school was kilometers away.
- So only the boys went.
- Why is that?
It isn't proper for a girl to ride
a bike. I learned to make kids.
Kids? What kids?
Kids with a pencil.
Designs for embroidering.
- What had you understood?
- Would you like kids?
Real ones of course,
in a lovely home all of our own.
How can you?
If you win the Football Pool?
Who knows! It could be.
- Mario... Have you two gone crazy?
- She was sewing a button
that you pulled off.
- I'll pull your ear off!
You're a traitor!
Going to the game with women's
stockings in your pocket? You too?
Pig and swine.
Perfect for each other.
See? She fell for it.
Tell her what the stockings are for.
- You tell her.
- They are for you, a surprise.
I was tired of seeing you
with those nun socks.
You would seriously allow me
to wear silk stockings?
- We are progressing and...
- Thank you, Mariuzzo.
Don't exaggerate
with so much intimacy.
- Holler!
- Come on, Roma!
Only one cry, only three words.
Come on, Roma!
Look who is here!
Stupid. We don't know each other.
Be quiet.
If we don't know each other,
why are you punching me?
The herd head! Nardecchia!
Come on, Roma!
I'll send a car to pick you up.
It's all planned.
All planned. Wait for it there.
What did I do?
Who are you?
It's for that wallet stolen from
a tourist on the Milan-Rome train.
No. There's been a mistake.
I didn't do it!
I didn't do anything!
I swear on my family!
- Go on!
- My shoe came off.
- It's a good shoe.
- Get inside!
Ugo is coming tomorrow morning
with the car. He knows nothing.
You want to throw away a gold mine?
There is a rapid train for Rome at
: p.m. but there's an extra fee.
- Excuse me.
- Then there's another one...
It would've been better for my mom
to drown me. I wouldn't have met you.
I am really fed up!
I can't stand
this disgusting life anymore.
Since I was born, I swallowed
more hardships than soup.
How can I say it?
It's all prepared, all scientific.
We even got rid of the exploiter.
That wise guy would've eaten it all
and left us the crumbs.
If he was a wise guy he wouldn't
have been caught for a wallet.
So much more reason, right?
Do you think he thought up the hit?
That good man, the accountant...
Listen to me, guys.
You won't regr...
- Regret it...
- Yeah, sure!
- You understood.
- But we don't know Milan.
- I did my military service there.
- During the Five Days period!
- Where is this accountant?
- Am I a blind cat like you?
Was I born yesterday?
Did you forget Floriana?
She is the brain of the g*ng.
Good evening, gentlemen.
Did you reserve a table?
Would you like to sit down?
You must pay to look.
This isn't an amusement park.
The Spaniards on stage.
Come on, Pedro and Carmen!
Why are you yelling?
We've been ready for a half hour.
Come on, wake up!
- What are you doing here?
- Push it up.
- They arrested the Milanese guy.
- As soon as he got off the train.
Oh, heck, he got caught!
Poor me. Goodbye money.
- We thought...
- I lent my cousin
almost , liras
for this deal.
- Was it your money?
- Yes. I want to do the hit anyway.
- She's right.
- Yes.
Alright, but what will we do
about the accountant?
Let me handle it. He'll pick
me up now and I'll explain.
- You follow us without being seen.
- Why without being seen?
Because Amedeo is very cautious
and only wants contact with me.
- Wait for me to get dressed.
- Alright, go ahead.
- Hi, kitten. How are you?
- I didn't sleep last night, either.
- How will it go tomorrow?
- Just fine.
I read my horoscope. Happy day
tomorrow with friends, a long trip.
It reminds me of the day
before exams.
My wife dyed her hair by herself
and it didn't come out well.
She says it's my fault because
I don't give her beauty parlor money.
My poor kitten. Don't be upset.
It'll all be over soon.
Four of us are too conspicuous.
You two wait in the square...
- What squares are there in Milan?
- I don't know.
In my days there was
the Duomo Square.
Alright. If it's still there,
it's where we'll meet. Let's go.
Be careful that
he doesn't go in a restaurant,
eat, and not pay.
Let's go.
Who are these Romans?
I never trusted Romans much.
They just make us pay taxes
and we support them.
Luckily, there's your cousin Virgilio.
He is very bright.
- Right?
- But I must tell you something.
I realized right away that
he's shrewd, determined, bright.
If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't
have accepted. Want a mint?
No? I do. I'm so nervous,
and not even a cigarette.
Maybe I got this ulcer
for all my worries.
Look at how many stars. Let's choose
one that'll bring us good luck.
That one?
On the right of the Big Dipper?
The lovers' start,
near that sort of handle.
- Oh, yes.
- Do you like it?
- Cute.
- I'll give it to you.
- Thank you.
- It'll take us far, South America.
- Honduras, Nicaragua, Mexico.
- "Mehico"!
Yes. Did you ask the South
American orchestra guys for news?
They're from Gallarate, except for
the drummer. He's from Codogno.
Two men are following us.
- !
- !
- They are two homeless.
- I am so afraid.
- It will be awful tonight too.
- Take a sleeping pill.
A body sleeps hours,
A pig sleeps hours,
a spinster sleeps , a lovely woman
sleeps . I sleep hours.
- !
- !
- Well?
- !
- Bye. Remember to be brave.
- Yes.
- The future is ours.
- Yes.
It's done.
Amedeo agrees on everything.
- He doesn't care about my cousin.
- Thank goodness. Let's go.
- What is it? You're not pleased?
- No, dear. It's fine.
Guys, I have a custom made alibi.
Officially I was hunting at Magliana
with Mimmo and Vincenzo.
- They're really great.
- I went to bed at last night.
Everyone saw me. At :
I was on the road, and here I am.
Careful, young men.
I'll recapitulate everything.
Sour Foot, you wait for the car with
the money outside the Football Pool.
When it leaves, you drive
in front of it, take the tunnel,
and signal to us.
We will be out here waiting.
Then go park in the corner.
The crash is here.
Sour Foot, you turn right
and then stop here.
There, right here.
Stay there and wait for me.
- Alright.
- With your engine turned on.
Sure. They give me free gas.
- Ferribotte, listen to me.
- Yes, sir.
When you hear the crash,
turn on the engine and get moving.
With the loot, I will jump
inside your car and go that way.
While Mario will get in this car
and leave this way.
- Did I make that clear?
- I won't do anything? I'm the oldest.
Right.
- Why are we taking him with us?
- Darn!
You'll be a lookout for Ferribotte
who must steal the second car.
You'll do so
when the Football Pool car arrives.
You'll take off your hat as a signal.
Is that clear?
While Mario and I
will try to get the truck.
Let's try escaping.
Come on, Ugo.
- This is no good!
- I was up all night.
Come on! Don't sleep.
At the next tunnel on the right
you are safe. Accelerate.
- Are you crazy? It isn't a garage.
- Think if it happens today.
"Go, Sour Foot!"
I could stick the foot in your face!
- You never do the right thing.
- It's written here.
Come on, full speed ahead.
Scoundrels! Delinquents!
Watch out!
Thief! Stop!
Bastard!
: p.m. Right now Sour Foot is
a lookout at the Football Pool.
, and million.
. Accountant, are you sleeping?
- Can you count it? It's .
- Yes, alright.
I am out here with the car.
Thank you.
- Will you take it to the manager?
- Yes, I'll take care of it.
Hurry, or the bank people
will protest.
- That is my jacket.
- Excuse me. They are identical.
Give it to me.
You can't stay here.
It's a no parking area.
I was falling asleep.
I wanted to rest a bit.
I'll leave right away.
Thank you. Very kind of you.
- You're driving on the sidewalk?
- I forgot the steering lock.
Let's take the overpass.
- It's longer.
- We'll avoid the traffic lights.
It's become worse than Naples here.
Who leaves the old road for a new one
doesn't know what he'll find.
You should know it.
Hands up. Hands up!
Give me the suitcase.
:.
Turn on the engine.
- Engine turned on.
- Silk stockings.
I forgot them.
I brought two bandanas.
- Here.
- Darn it!
I don't believe it.
It's even filthy.
This is it.
, , , ,
...
- .
- No, .
- Go!
- It won't start! It won't start!
The hand brake! Darn it!
Go!
My gosh, what a crash!
- Oh, God!
- Darn it the hell!
- Who gave you a license?
- Run!
It's not my fault.
They are injured!
It's a trick! They are robbers!
- I'll take you to the E.R.
- Oh, God, darn it!
Come here!
- Come this way. Let's go!
- Where are you going?
- Let me get in.
Come back! Come back!
- Take me to the police station.
- Yes, sir, right away.
- What a mess! Hurry!
- They ruined me!
Did you see? It's not my fault.
They cut off the road.
Where are you taking me?
Who are you?
- Where does he come from?
- I caught him.
- The money!
- Take it, but have pity on me.
- Hold still!
- Injure me, even just a little!
- You're a boxer. Fix him up.
- Yes. Peppe!
- Did you leave him there?
- We lost the boss.
- My gosh!
- Is it empty?
- Holy Mary!
- Oh, my God!
- How much is it?
- It's million.
- Please, hit me!
- Be quiet.
I have a family.
Hit me, or they'll arrest me.
- What do you care?
- I am ruined.
Hurry! They've surely
called the police.
- I am a ruined man.
- Who gives a darn!
Sour Foot, get behind the wheel!
They've surely called the police.
Sour Foot at the wheel.
- Sour Foot at the wheel.
- Hit me, or I'll report you!
I'll say we were in cahoots!
I'll report you!
Oh, God, what a blow!
Yes, sir, a black . Yes, sir.
Pelagatta, a robbery.
A black with a Milan license.
One just drove by.
- Are they coming?
- No.
Darn it! Guys, be on the alert!
- I am, but I don't see them.
- We must find the place.
Slow down. Turn left there!
Go on! Hurry!
Come on, Sour Foot!
- Here.
- I don't have nails.
Hurry, they're coming.
Hurry! Come on!
Go inside!
- Hurry! Get in!
- Inside!
- The license!
- The license.
- License plate change carried out.
- Let's go!
Slow down a bit.
Go on.
I hope I didn't hurt the accountant.
What do you care?
Where's Peppe?
The train for Rome
left minutes ago.
Peppe surely caught it.
Ugo, speed up.
We must get to Bologna.
He is sleeping!
Wake up, Sour Foot!
Throw in all the
supplementary carburetors.
Talk to me, or I'll fall asleep.
Talk, sing...
Yours, only yours...
- Yours...
- And your granddad's!
Sour Foot, minutes.
The traffic light!
- Which one?
- Forget it!
- He can't go to Rome by himself.
- Just take us to the Bologna station.
- Hurry! It's leaving!
- Quickly, idiot!
Must I always rush on an empty
stomach? We never eat.
The sandwich we had
at the station cafe was good.
What sandwich?
- Who is it?
- It's me.
- Did you fall off the train?
- Oh, God!
Why aren't you with your friends?
What happened to you?
My gosh!
What a mess!
What are you doing?
You're in my home in Milan!
- Sit down here.
- Let me sit down.
Don't make me fall anymore.
The bed...
What did you do?
Why are you still in Milan?
Those four bastards left me
by myself.
What is it?
Get your hand out of there.
I ran away. I started running.
My gosh, how much I ran!
I slipped inside the garbage chute
of a building.
They have great customs in Milan.
They throw all the garbage in a hole
on top of me. What slobs!
I remained hours
with cockroaches, rats...
What a day!
What happened?
What did the radio say?
Amedeo is in the hospital with a bump
on his head. Looks like a Martian.
I went to see him, but he sent me
away. "Get lost, bitch!"
"I only love my wife!"
He looked like a madman.
- Why is his head injured?
- Your friends did it
when they took the suitcase
with the million.
Poor guy!
million?
Floriana, so they made it!
Of course.
I had set up a mechanism
that was like a clockwork.
It worked even without me.
Wow, Floriana!
We're riding high!
We are rich! Oh, my back!
We have a mountain of bills
with Dante's profile.
You smell like garbage.
I'll prepare a nice bath for you.
- Shall I carry the suitcase, sir?
- No!
Oh, heck! Where can he be?
I searched the whole train.
Peppe isn't here.
We thought we'd made it,
but maybe they arrested him.
They'll catch us all.
I won't go around with the suitcase.
Let's put it in the baggage depot
for the time being.
- Simple, but brilliant idea.
- Yes.
"The savage as*ault
in Via Ferrante Aporti."
"A big award to the Football Pool
accountant injured by robbers."
Here he is, the hero,
a victim of duty.
That whimpering bastard!
He even got an award.
What do you care?
Thank heavens
that he didn't talk.
I am afraid of Peppe.
Where is he? What's he doing?
Nothing is written in the paper.
If they caught him,
it wouldn't be in the papers.
Anyway, Peppe won't talk.
He is strong and courageous.
On the ring, he laid on the floor
with the first hit, and never got up.
He will surely talk
and get us all in trouble.
- What do you want to do?
- Open up! Police!
- Police!
- Oh, God! Go, guys!
- Darn you!
- Get lost!
- Filthy swindler!
- What an imbecile!
You got scared, didn't you?
What bastards!
- Come in, beautiful!
- Hello, guys.
Capannelle got a stroke again.
Guys, don't play such jokes.
What the heck!
- I haven't eaten since Sunday.
- Come on, mama's boy.
- Cheers!
- To health!
With this wine
we toast to our Peppe.
With this wine in big glasses,
we toast to our millions!
- Thank goodness!
- With this refined wine
we toast to this receipt.
- We'll go to the station...
- To get back our big suitcase.
- Right!
- Peppe, watch out for the receipt.
Yours! As of tomorrow, new life.
I'll go to the Lawyers' Association
and find out the best one.
"How much do you want?"
One million? million? million?
As long as we destroy that bitch.
How much do we each get?
How much is divided by ?
- goes into ...
- It does, it does.
- Of course it does!
- With left over...
- Put the here.
- No, here.
- Right.
- They don't talk about it anymore.
With that fake move, everyone thinks
the robbers are in Switzerland.
Nothing.
"Khrushchev holds out a hand
and winks."
"BB is expecting a baby."
What can that mean?
"They're Roman, not Milanese."
"The honorable Moro's speech.
Phone fees are increasing..."
Darn you! "They are Roman and
not Milanese." Did you read below?
"The Football Pool driver
stated last night
that he distinctly heard
phrases in Roman dialect
said by one of the assailants,
a young, tall, handsome man."
"So the investigation
is moving to the Capital."
We are screwed.
Take a look.
Who am I?
There he is.
Take a look. Do I look good?
- I think...
- Be quiet.
- Who is it?
- Friends.
- Come. Why is your voice different?
- Why did you change it?
Things are getting worse here.
A witness saw one of the robbers
wearing horse riding pants.
You know I only have these.
Idiot! You go around like this!
- Like Rugantino. Be serious.
- No, sporty.
Wait. Come here.
Here. Put these on and disappear.
We must not be seen together.
Understand?
They never saw us together!
Caution! Caution! Caution!
Darn you!
- There is a hole in the back.
- That's why I gave them to you.
Darn you, go on!
You only know how to cook eggs?
What a great cook!
Forget it.
You have another mission in life.
- Michele, it's ready.
- Coming.
It's hot, so I made a light sauce.
Garlic, sausage, pepper,
cheese, sardines...
- What did you do?
- A livelier hair style.
In fact, neither of you are lively.
You two look dreary.
- Dreary?
- No, come on!
- Who is it?
- Police.
It's our friend
playing a trick on us.
Peppe, don't be an idiot.
Nicosia Michele.
Angeletti Mario is here too.
We saved a trip.
- What did I do?
- Come with us to the station.
- Don't push!
- Carmela, don't be upset.
It's for some information.
I applied for a fishing license!
- What did I do? I'm a citizen.
- Come on!
What anti-Democratic behavior!
- The Milan robbery guys?
- In there, room number .
Robbery?
I know nothing about it!
- Darn it!
- Hi. Now we're all here.
Each time an ugly crime takes place,
they always call us.
The press talks about everything
except the amnesty.
- What do they care?
- They should be careful.
- Did you come out?
- Yes.
- Now you'll go back in.
- What?
You'll see.
Well? How did it go?
Things are looking badly.
We must remain at their disposal.
Actually...
Darn it!
They called in everyone
except for Sour Foot.
- He will be saved.
- Capannelle? What did he do?
He's downstairs with a marshal
who came from Milan. Be careful.
What are you looking at?
Mind your own business.
Thanks.
At your age you go to Milan
to see a football game, huh?
I've always been a sports guy.
You're the one who always goes
inside restaurants,
eats well and doesn't have money
to pay the bill.
- You've convictions for that.
- More or less.
But you found money
to go to Milan.
In fact, I found the money
on the ground.
- In an envelope.
- You can go for now.
Thank you, marshal.
- Storti. Where were you Sunday?
- Ask Father Evaristo Bedoni.
I was at my niece's
First Holy Communion.
You always go to Communions.
You are a fervent believer.
Yes. It's you who doesn't believe
what I say.
Baiocchi Giuseppe, former boxer.
I was in Milan on Sunday
for the game.
- As always, go Roma!
- This makes offenders
who were at the game.
Excuse me. Only
out of almost a , Roma fans
is an irrelevant number
of offenders.
- The Lazio team has many more.
- So you were at the game.
Of course I was at the game.
Look. My stadium ticket,
my Rome-Milan return trip ticket.
It's all clear.
- Did you see the whole game?
- Of course.
- I saw it all.
- Tell me what happened
at the st minute
of the second half.
At the st, Altafini, known as
Mazzola, received the ball
from a speedy Danova,
ran past Bernardin
and did a direct left foot kick
that rocketed inside the poles.
Nothing doing for Panetti.
- Referee?
- Referee?
He was impartial, but irritable.
Mr. Baralla from Livorno,
about , spectators,
despite cloudy skies
but with no rain showers
that seemed to be
threatening overhead.
- Great memory!
- I've always had this gift.
- One that liars have too. Go on.
Why? Thanks and goodbye.
How strange that he
and another three
kept their stadium and train tickets,
and have witnesses on the train.
Isn't it a bit much?
But the robbers were seen
going towards Switzerland.
They couldn't have caught
the fan club train.
I know, but I'd keep on eye
on these men. Come, boys.
Cerioni Otello, innocent.
Just a moment.
Sour Foot, the phone.
Did they say who it is?
- Hello? Who is this?
- Panther, over and out.
- You're not saying anything?
- Wait... Darn it!
Watch out.
We're in the firing range.
I heard Storti say
that he was in Manziana
for his niece's Communion,
he didn't go hunting.
- Your alibi collapsed.
- What'll I do now?
Find a real alibi with a person
who doesn't have a record. Pay him.
If you need money, sell the car.
Over and out.
- Who'll I sell it to? The Pope?
- Over and out.
They took it away. The Milanese
had just given a down payment.
Hello? Hello?
Goodbye, madam.
My gosh!
Sour Foot, the cup!
He's out of it.
- What happened?
- We must have a man to man talk.
What happened?
Alfredo, last Sunday
I was with you all day.
- What did you do?
- Don't ask me questions.
They'll ask me many tomorrow
at the police station.
- I am a man, you are a man...
- Alright, we are men.
- Why do you come to me?
- Because you don't have a record.
I looked in all of Rome.
You're the only one.
You're honest. You're a man...
Should I say you're a woman?
Darn me!
Where did I get this?
Sunday I went to the Etruscan
Museum at Villa Giulia.
- They'll believe you? At a museum?
- Why? Won't they let me in?
I've gotten a desire
for learning all at once.
- Then I'll ask you for a favor too.
- Of course. If I can...
- It's for Carletto.
- What's he have to do with it?
Carletto is intelligent,
but he needs a suitable education.
You should leave him with me
every Sunday.
- Every Sunday?
- I will teach him many things.
There's a French lace exhibition
at Palazzo delle Esposizioni.
There's one on international
dolls at Palazzo Venezia.
Laces and dolls.
You want this kid to become...
See how material you are?
Will he grow up well with you?
Anyway, take it or leave it.
- Tell me the truth.
- What?
Is Carletto my son or...
If I was a bastard like you, with
these doubts, I'd leave you in doubt.
In fact, I'd say that he's my son.
Go away. I am busy.
Alright. As you wish.
Take him to see the laces.
It's better than having
a father in prison.
Ugo, what are you doing?
You speak of men...
Is this what men do?
Don't be silly.
I even took a teaspoon.
I am innocent, I swear.
I am innocent,
a victim of circumstances.
No t*rture, no!
- Carmela, what do you want?
- White melon and black conscience.
- You toss and turn all night.
- You are stubborn.
I told you
that it is a judiciary mistake
that coincides with our trip
to Milan. I swear it.
On our mother's ashes?
Why mix sacred and profane?
I am your older brother
and you must believe me.
I am serene and peaceful.
Where are you going?
It's the water faucet.
Traitor!
May I have a portion
of those onions?
This little fish
and those cucumbers too.
Then give me two portions
of that big fish.
Then... Yes, this one.
It's tuna.
Then give me this too.
Then give me bananas...
- What happened?
- The police searched your home.
- The police?
- Carmela was about to feel ill!
They didn't know anything.
- What were they looking for?
- I don't know.
- What did they find?
- The receipts from the pawnshop!
- Carmela.
- We must advise Peppe.
- The receipt is in the suitcase.
- Yes, let's go.
- Carmela! Carmela!
- Open!
- She's gone! A letter!
- She doesn't know how to write.
- She knows how to draw.
- Two pigs. The two of us!
And the train!
- Oh, God! Where can she be?
- To get run over by the train!
Run to Peppe.
If the police goes, it's a tragedy!
You go. I don't care about Peppe.
I'll go look for Carmela!
Hey, come here!
- This train doesn't go to Sicily.
- I want to go back home.
This is a local freight train
going to the general warehouses.
- Carmela.
- Let me go!
- To the insane asylum!
- Look at them!
Carmela,
where are you going?
- I'll go to Sicily and be a nun!
- Carmela, be reasonable!
You swore on our mother's ashes.
No, it's not so. I didn't swear.
So it's true. You are thieves.
I order this as your brother.
Come back home right now.
No, I'm an adult. I'm .
What are you saying?
A woman is an adult at !
- Nothing, marshal.
- Nothing...
There's nothing.
- What about you?
- Nothing.
- Whose stuff is this?
- It belongs to some misfit woman.
Who would associate with me?
I am a poor devil!
You're right in looking,
but I'm a poor worker!
- I know nothing!
- Alright, let's go.
Goodbye and thanks.
I don't know anything. Goodbye.
Oh, God!
- What happened?
- You scared me to death.
- Did they find anything?
- No. What was there to find?
The suitcase receipt!
Why didn't they find it?
- Darn it! Where did I put it?
- Why don't we leave?
Why don't we go to Mehico?
You have no bonds with anyone.
Let's get the suitcase with all
the millions and go to Mehico.
Darn it! Where did I put it?
- What are you looking for?
- The receipt!
Darn it! It's in the pants
that I gave to Capannelle.
- If he loses it? If they catch him?
- Well?
- Well, what?
- Shall we go to Mehico?
Floriana, darn it!
They are searching me. We lost the
receipt. They'll give me years!
You're bothering me with Mehico?
Then go to Mehico!
Go to Mehico, go to Milan,
go hang yourself!
Are you crazy? I'll hurt you.
Heck! I'll teach you
some good manners.
And when I return home,
you must apologize to me.
Really? You ugly pig, scoundrel,
scum, redneck...
Ug... Ugly pig.
Scoundrel. Redneck.
Redneck, redneck.
Rain, door.
Door, courtyard, grass,
root beer, butterfly, butter...
- Idiot!
- Moron!
Capannelle! Open! Wake up!
Capannelle got a bowel infarction
and is in the hospital.
A bowel infarction, just now.
He eats all kinds of junk food.
Carob, acorns, broccoli stems.
All good stuff, of course!
I told him at least times
to see a doctor.
That in his stomach he had
a tribe of tapeworms.
I must have lost kilos
these days.
You don't give a darn. He's
thinking of Carmela, understand?
You're so stupid as to give
Capannelle pants with the receipt
and take it out on us?
- Stop it.
They want to talk with .
- Relatives?
- Thank you, Professor.
No. They are the relatives.
They are his grandsons.
- It's an indigestion, huh?
- Yes, but it's also the drop
that made the vase overflow.
Your granddad had a tough life
and his heart paid for it.
There isn't much to do now.
What?
We must do a consultation,
something...
Don't look at my aspect. We'll
find the money, any amount.
It's useless. Go say goodbye to him
even if it is very late.
But not with that face.
Look at him!
What an earthquake!
You're a garbage disposal,
my Capannuccio.
- But you look great now.
- He'll bury us all.
He is the picture of health.
I was in the hospital
many years ago when I was old.
I like it here.
When Sister Angelica comes,
I'll introduce her to you.
- She is really nice.
- Thank goodness.
What did you stuff yourself with?
"Mixed appetizers, agnolotti,
tripe, lamb."
"Ossobuco, fish soup, cake,
fruit salad, coffee, liqueur,
beans with tuna."
"Service, bread, table setting
and wine. ,."
- Darn you!
- Did you play that trick again?
- So they reported you?
- No, because I paid.
- Who gave you the money?
- The money?
I found the receipt in the pants
and couldn't resist the temptation.
I withdrew the suitcase
and took , liras.
Where did you put the suitcase?
- It's under the bed.
- Oh, my gosh!
The marshal!
- Who are you?
- The doctor says you must sleep.
- I sleep whenever I want.
- If you don't sleep, you could die.
- That bed, number .
- Alright. Thank you.
- Are you friends? I didn't know it.
- They introduced us at the station.
- It is just a courtesy visit.
- You had another nice lunch again.
This time you made a useless trip.
I paid.
That is why I came.
Where did you get the , liras?
- I found...
- I don't believe you found it.
I'll take care of it.
Don't bother. I'll do it.
- Excuse me.
- Thank you.
Why can't a citizen
like Mr. Capannelle
have at his disposal
a certain amount?
Someone like him must show me
how he earned it. Lira after lira.
Let's admit it.
But if one day Mr. Capannelle
should win at Football pool?
But he must show me the card,
or it means that
he received the sum from
the Football Pool without winning.
In this case,
the judge will take measures.
years for armed robbery.
If besides lunch, you have
something else on your stomach,
call for me.
I am down at the entrance.
What a bummer! You can't have
a peaceful lunch. The marshal comes!
- And then they say there is freedom.
- Let's not recite poems now.
What is important now
is taking away this suitcase.
If they find it here,
they'll catch us all.
We can't go around the hospital
with that big suitcase.
- The marshal is at the entrance.
- I know.
You go ahead and wait outside
below the wall.
I'll throw the suitcase to Ugo
and he'll pass it to you. Understand?
Alright.
So, Capannelle, bye.
- Bye.
- We'll come see you soon.
- Of course.
- Come on, Capannelle.
- Go, or the marshal will return.
- Bye.
Remember to cheer up.
Understand?
Don't spend it all.
Equal parts.
When I get out,
I don't want to work anymore.
Without that money, what will I eat?
Alright. Don't worry.
Goodbye. Bye, handsome.
Darn you!
- I've looked hours for you.
- Be quiet!
- Carmela kicked me out of the house.
- What?
She's , an adult. So she said
she doesn't want to see us again.
She won't open the door until our
hands remain dirty. Capannelle?
It's Ugo!
- Do you have a match?
- No. Take care.
The suitcase?
That stupid moron Ugo!
- Here I am. What happened?
- What happened? The suitcase.
Let's all shake it.
- Come on!
- Here it is.
- It's stuck.
- Oh, heck! Let me try.
I am too short.
Get underneath. I'll climb up.
- Come on!
- Hold me.
The Carabinieri!
- Let's be nonchalant.
- Yes.
- Here I am! Whose turn it is?
- Oops!
- Do you have to play here?
- Why not?
- Can't you see what's here?
- What?
- A hospital.
Excuse us. We didn't know.
- Let's go. Big guys, but...
- Sometimes doing crazy things...
- Take care.
- Have a nice ride.
Oh, heck!
The suitcase... Here!
I am sick of you! I'm tired
of always being the scapegoat!
Ok, Peppe. Don't get angry.
We'll split it and it's over.
No. I don't trust you. One of you
spends the money, gets caught,
and they arrest all of us. years.
- It's the bitter truth.
Yes. In these cases
experiences teaches us
that the loot
must remain united and global.
Who will hold the global?
I've held it enough.
You take it now.
- I sublet an apartment.
- Here.
I don't have a home
as of tonight.
- Then you take it.
- Not me.
Go on!
Take it!
Alright. I'll take the risk,
but I'll keep it all.
Got that?
Because he doesn't have a record.
- Right.
- Nice bastard.
Bastard? Then let's split it.
Let's have him keep it all.
- You know what?
- What?
- Choke yourself on it.
- Right, choke yourself.
We don't want anything
to do with it.
We don't even know each other.
We don't even know your name.
Your name is Judas, and that's it.
All medicines!
- Look at this!
- Shepherd, what time is it?
- It's late.
- Got that?
Now we could go home
and make peace with Carmela.
- What do you say?
- To be honest,
I don't give a darn about Carmela.
- Look I...
- But it was a good solution.
I'll tell you even more.
If in six months or a year,
when things have calmed down,
we'll ask Ugo to give us
or million each,
you think he won't give it?
Of course he will. He's a good guy.
- No? What do you say?
- I don't know. Maybe.
I am absolutely sure.
Well, probably.
- Wait! Here I am!
- The suitcase?
- Done!
- What?
No need to worry.
I put it under a bench at the park.
Then from the stall cafe
I called the police station.
With a handkerchief over the phone
I told them where it was.
- You're out of your mind!
- Are you crazy?
- What did you do?
- It's your fault!
When I took it,
it seemed like a hot potato.
And now you say
that I'm out of my mind?
- Did you take some money?
- We hadn't agreed on that.
Young men, let's run!
- Where is it?
- Down there, under the bench.
- We'll get a pack each.
- No more.
- It won't open.
- Who has the key?
I don't know.
- Who has a pocket knife?
- I have a coral horn.
- You know what you can do with it?
- Yes.
The cops!
You called the nearest station,
darn you!
Go!
What's the rush? Madman,
are you racing the Mille Miglia?
Ugly son of a...
- He even protests?
- Didn't you see the zebra?
- What zebra?
- The crosswalk.
- You will get a fine.
- At this hour?
The Code is valid at any hour.
Will you agree to that
and pay right away?
- What are you saying?
We are losing our sense
of measure here, darn it!
Arrest thieves
instead of persecuting
honest citizens who pay taxes.
Give me your ID, please.
Those four bastards
left me by myself!
Fiasco in Milan (Audace colpo dei soliti ignoti)
Moderator: Maskath3