01x05 - Swerve

[bunniefuu]

[ANNOUNCER] Previously on "Heels"

Jack, I've got to get a job.

[PAULA] And we're gonna

hold a press conference.

[WILD BILL] Oww!

You will do nothing

until we speak in person.

[ACE WHISTLES]

[TRICIA] Well, dang.

- 'Sup, Tricia?

- [TRICIA] I get off in an hour.

You should stay and flirt.

[CRYSTAL] I'm just a valet.

I gotta fly low right now.

You are not just a valet.

You are really talented.

You're the one that should

be getting the push.

[WILLIE] You got sh*t-canned,

didn't you?

Oh, you think I f*cked that up?

Your life ain't so perfect.

I didn't say it was.

And that daughter

you can't f*cking stand.

[SCOFFS] Too bad I wasn't around

to pay for that abortion too.

Bye, Bill.

[WILD BILL] f*cking people

and all their bullshit,

their untested manhood.

Makes me want to step on a frog.

Somebody keyed my Bronco.

Reckon you got it in you, too,

just like your dad.

He played nice for the crowds,

but Tom had a vicious side.

You tap that vein,

riches'll flow.

[MELLOW ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

♪

[SINGER] I'm not waiting for ♪

The answer ♪

♪

And I will ♪

Walk in the shore ♪

To find you ♪

To find ♪

The peace that's your own ♪

Where you come from ♪

All that you want ♪

♪

One that's your own ♪

Place to call home ♪

Won't be ♪

Granted ♪

What is fair in love ♪

Is fair in w*r ♪

♪

What is fair in love ♪

Is fair in w*r ♪

One ♪

To one ♪

What's love ♪

In w*r? ♪

♪

[CROWD] Boo!

I can't tell y'all

how upsetting this is.

To be booed by you,

a bunch of wannabes and never-weres.

Irrelevant dopes who hate Ace and me

for being what they wish they were.

Two perfect physical specimens

at the height of our powers.

And let me be crystal clear.

We only care about one thing,

and that is the DWL title belt.

We are coming for it

with hostility in our hearts.

[BOOING HEIGHTENS]

We're gonna take you down, Jack Spade!

But first,

we're gonna crush

the pitiful, puny dreams

of that mama's boy Bobby Pin.

- [CROWD BOOS]

- [CRYSTAL CACKLES]

[JACK] Willie, can you kick up

the lights, please?

That's really f*cking good.

I don't get this promo, man.

All the talking, it ruins the suspense.

And "crystal clear"? Come on. Nah.

- I like it.

- I don't.

What? You want me

to shave a little attitude off?

I-I'm with Ace on this one.

Gonna dump the promo.

I want you two to run the ending again.

It's getting late.

Hey, Crystal.

Look, whether you get

to run your mouth or not,

right, you're in the main event.

That's big for us.

It's big for your character.

Now I know that you can

memorise lines like that

and deliver them that well,

I'm gonna write for you.

It's good work.

[WILLIE] Missy,

why don't you buy yourself

a new outfit, okay?

And include a bra. It's a family show.

Let's leave the nipples

to the imagination.

- [ROOSTER] Hey, Jack.

- [JACK] Yeah?

[ROOSTER] Me and Diego got

something bangin' for the show.

I know you gon' rock with it.

- You wanna see?

- Sure. Yeah.

Is that a "sure" sure

or a "shut up" sure?

We gotta nail this ending here first.

Hey, so, Ace, you're on the ground.

[ACE] Right, he's cooked.

I'm happy with that

because, as the guest referee,

I want you to lose so I won't

have to face you again.

Then Bobby, get your ass up

there for the frog splash.

[WHISPERING] It's where you

stretch your body out.

Like a f*cking frog, dumbass.

Bobby, top turnbuckle.

Crystal, stop helping him.

[CRYSTAL] "Don't you dare

take a cheap sh*t

while he's down. Fight like a man!"

"A real man shows no mercy".

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]

Bobby, that was terrible.

Bobby, balance first, then leap.

Commit and you're good.

- [CELL PHONE RINGING]

- This is Willie.

[JACK] How did no one tell me

he's afraid of heights?

- He's not afraid of heights.

- [ACE] He 100% is.

That wasn't even that high.

It's like jumping off a f*cking couch.

I've done it plenty of times.

Hey, Jack, it's

South Georgia State Fair.

Well, tell 'em we don't have

money to advertise with them.

About us performing in the fair.

♪

We gon' take that in my office.

Bobby, grow a f*cking pair

and do it again.

[MIC FEEDBACK SCREECHES]

[WILD BILL] Greetings.

I have some apologies to make.

I am sorry that

I used language that has

apparently caused some

unspecified people pain.

And ever since I was young,

I've feared flying.

I mishandled medicating my nerves.

The result is me standing here today,

in the public square, groveling.

Are you ashamed that you got naked?

[WILD BILL] Hell, no.

Fifty percent of the world

population is male.

It should not be shocking

to see a man naked.

[REPORTERS CHUCKLE]

Some consider this kind

of behavior toxic masculinity.

Psychologists believe that

this kind of behavior

may be tied to my getting

circumcised the day I was born,

as if, deep down, I'm still

that butchered little boy

pulling it out to show everyone,

"Look at the horrible thing

they did to me".

Isn't circumcision about hygiene?

Ma'am, every third daydream a man has

is about putting his penis

into someone else's mouth.

The other two are about

putting it other places.

Circumcision is primeval cruelty.

It's time for "our bodies, our choice"

to also apply to boys' foreskins.

[MUTTERING] Jesus, Mary and Joseph

But look, there's a time

and place for male nudity

and it's not midair

on a commercial jetliner.

You fly private, that's a

different discussion entirely.

There's rumors you've been fired.

Well, like many long-serving employees

of American corporations,

I've been abandoned.

What do you call an entertainment empire

built upon the broken bodies

of men and women who,

once the juice is squeezed out,

are kicked to the curb?

No safety net other than dr*gs, alcohol,

and self-inflicted g*nshots.

The National Football League?

After a stint in rehab, I'll be back.

Thank you.

Thank you.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]

[WHISPERING] What the f*ck was that?

That, my dear, is called a deflection.

[STACI] Hey, Dad.

If you call and I don't pick up,

I'm gon' be at work,

and they got rules there, so.

I'm trying to make the right

impression on my first day.

Just happy to be

getting out of the house.

But hey, will you try texting me?

I know how much you hate that,

but that is the world we're living in.

So I would appreciate it.

All right, I love you. Bye-bye.

- What do you say?

- Thanks.

[MELLOW MUSIC PLAYS]

- ♪

-

It's gon' ruin your hips

and your knees.

Running puts mileage on 'em.

Ruins 'em.

♪

How's Ace?

- [JACK] Oh, he's great.

- Bullshit.

Look, Jack, I know you're busy

Get lost, Bill.

Busy growing your daddy's

little weed into a big weed.

Here's the thing about weeds.

You need somebody to help 'em grow.

I was thinking I might be of use to you.

Willie told me what you said.

I was hammered and I

blurted something stupid.

Sometimes when you drink

and blurt, you hurt.

I won't apologise for there

still being a spark

between Willie and I.

It's a burden that sometimes

blinds our encounters.

Jack, you need my expertise.

You don't know, really,

what the f*ck you're doing.

You know some.

I can turn "some"

into something much more.

I should kick your f*cking ass.

Getting a bit huffy, son.

I should kick your f*cking ass right now

'til you beg for mercy.

- [WILD BILL] Easy.

- It would be easy.

- Not sure about that.

- I'd laugh the whole time.

Now you're turning me on.

Bill

you're down on your luck.

It's not gonna change around here.

So I'm gonna say this again,

and if you don't do it,

I'm gonna see to it that you do.

You get lost, you f*cking monkey.

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]

♪

Hey! Thomas.

Uh, I'm gonna hop in the shower,

then you and me gonna hit the road.

- So ready up, please.

- All right.

Thank you.

Mm, ladies and gentlemen,

Jack Spade is in the building.

And, ooh, oh, my Lord is he impressive!

I have never seen a man so sexy

and handsome

and sweaty and stanky.

- Ooh!

- [JACK] Well

[STACI] DWL at the State Fair.

Jack, that is so exciting.

It's exciting, but I'm nervous

'cause I gotta close the deal

and I can't seem desperate.

Mm-kay.

Maybe I can help calm your nerves.

Calm me down with the whole deal

or, like, a half deal?

What kind of deal you thinking?

I got time for a handshake deal.

You give the best handshakes.

All right, well, let's

at least get to the bathroom.

Yeah.

[CHUCKLES]

[THOMAS] I'm ready, Dad!

Hey uh, that's real good work, buddy,

but dad's gon' need about

four to six minutes.

Talk about pressure.

Well, I believe in you.

Hey, how's Thomas gonna occupy himself

when you're talking

to the State Fair people?

I'ma give my phone to T.

I got all the games on my phone.

If he brings up wanting

to get a pet gerbil, say no.

Okay.

And for dinner, he hates

chicken fingers now.

And he already had a donut,

so no ice cream or fried dough.

Okay, uh, well,

that-that-that's opposite of arousing.

I'm expecting reciprocity.

Oh, if I book the State Fair,

I'm gon' get you every night

this week, two times.

Promises, promises.

Wow, that's ooh, you're raring to go.

Well, don't stop then.

This is my work shirt.

I'll get in front of you.

- [INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYS]

-

♪

Hi. Uh, Tucker?

Yeah, Reds over Cardinals.

100 bucks. Run line.

Thanks.

[SIGHS]

[JACK] Hey, buddy, we're gon'

meet some folks later

and they might ask you why you

like coming to the matches.

And you know, you just

you tell them that we put on

some good, old-fashioned family

entertainment, all right?

- Dad, our class gerbil had babies.

- [JACK] Okay.

Ms. Brickey said I could have one.

You know, growing up,

I-I-I knew a kid that used

to steal gerbils

and feed 'em to a snake.

That's kind of mean a boy did that.

That kid was a girl.

Kristine Lang.

Those gerbils must have been scared.

Wonder how long it took them to die.

We're gon' get you a gerbil,

but you gotta promise me

right here and now,

you gotta look out for it.

You gotta be the gerbil king.

Keep it away from kids

and cats and snakes, all right?

[THOMAS] I will, Dad.

I promise I will. Thank you.

Bobby Pin's got a new tag partner.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

- [ROOSTER] Ace gon' be crying again.

- [DIEGO] Yeah.

[BOBBY PIN] Are we still

getting you a new costume?

I got it set aside at the mall.

Just need this money.

So say a prayer to the gambling gods.

Nobody ever won a bet watching.

That's not true, but it's sweet.

[WILLIE] Hey, Crystal, where's Ace?

I don't know where he is.

Well, you should. You're his valet.

Go find him. For f*ck's sake.

- Hey, Thomas.

- [THOMAS] Hey, Willie.

[APOCALYPSE] There's my guy.

Thomas, where you been, bro?

All right, gather round, y'all!

Well, we got the same

old show tonight, all right?

Same asses in the seats.

Gon' sign the same autographs.

Same lights in your eyes.

Same sweat. Same grind.

It's the same old, same old.

Well, except for one thing.

Right over there,

we're gonna have three people

from the South Georgia

State Fair Commission

here to see y'all,

here to watch our fans

go crazy for all of you.

We're gonna give these people

one hell of a night.

We're gonna finish it in the cage.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

Now, if they like what they see

and I promise you,

they will

about a month from now,

y'all are gonna be performing

for 10,000 folks.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

So it's not the same old, same old.

I want y'all to destroy

for these people tonight!

- [ALL] Yeah!

- [ALL CLAPPING]

Now, here to read the rundown,

may I introduce to you,

Mr. Thomas Patrick Spade!

- Thomas!

- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

All right, men, listen up.

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

[CRYSTAL] Come on. One time.

[COMMENTATOR] It is go!

- Two-run homerun! Reds win!

- Oh! You got it! You got it!

- You got it! Whoo!

- [BOTH CHEERING]

- [BOBBY PIN] Whoo!

- [CRYSTAL] I got money!

- Yeah!

- I got money.

[BOBBY PIN] How much money

did you get off of it?

[CRYSTAL] Enough to get my whole outfit.

- [BOBBY PIN] Yeah!

- [CRYSTAL GIGGLES]

[CRYSTAL] Thank you.

Hurry up. We're gonna be late.

You're late. I ain't late.

You're the one who had to have Church's.

KFC would have been fine.

Well, excuse me for

considering my digestion.

[WILLIE] All right, I went ahead

and confirmed your dinner

with the State Fair woman.

Her name is Constance.

Thank you. Look who woke up.

Sorry, phone d*ed. 'Sup, stud?

- Hey, Uncle Ace.

- 'Sup, y'all?

Y'all know Tricia.

- Nope.

- Nuh-uh.

I bartend down at Cooper's.

Tricia's my new valet.

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]

♪

Make me an instrument of your peace ♪

A channel for your love ♪

Hey, Howard?

I organised these by expiration

date, then, within that,

I alphabetised them according to SKU.

Though if the scanner g*n

breaks, that may not matter.

Staci, are you gunning

for my job on the first day?

No.

[CHUCKLING] All right.

Keep up the good work.

Oh, no worries. I got it.

I got you. I got it.

Staci Spade.

You work here?

I do, Bill. You shop here?

[WILD BILL] I'm back

in town for a bit, yes.

Keeps me grounded

to purchase my sustenance

amongst poor, hardworking folks.

Sorry the pickles slipped.

Got a touch of arthritis.

These hands of mine

have been in lots of places,

but I don't kiss and tell,

so you gon' have to ask around.

Uh, you don't have to say

something gross to impress me.

Why do you think

I'd say something gross?

Well, isn't that your character?

Saying gross and nasty things.

Only when I'm in the ring.

Outside the ring,

I'm a regular choir boy.

Money must be getting tight at home.

Jack making you work now?

No, things don't work

like that at our house, Bill.

My working's my choice.

Enjoy it.

Never know when you might

be unexpectedly unemployed.

Things can be humming along and, bam!

Almost had us a "Lady

and the Tramp" moment there.

Okay.

Jeez, Jack really did

a number on me with you.

I don't get why y'all gotta

hate an old family friend.

An old family friend

wouldn't come down here

and poach Ace.

Only the envious would consider

Ace's opportunity as poaching.

You wanna stick it to Jack, I guess,

'cause he reminds you of Tom?

Jack ain't half

the talent his daddy was,

but he sure is the same cocky somebitch

whose arrogance seems a bit misplaced

considering his staggering

lack of accomplishments.

He's a good man.

A great man who works hard

to support his family.

[WILD BILL] Yet, he's failing miserably.

Look at you, Queen of the DWL,

down on her knees,

hands on my pickle.

f*ck you, you piece of sh*t.

- Is everything okay?

- Oh, yes, sir.

Just had a mishap and this kind

duchess here was assisting me.

Oh, well, you don't

have to clean up, sir.

We'll take care of it.

Staci, will you please grab a broom

before this gentleman cuts himself?

Yup. I'm on it, Howard.

Right away.

Be sure to stop at the soap aisle,

wash out that mouth of yours.

You know, Jack's breathing

new life into the DWL

while also building the kind of

family life you'll never have.

Long as he doesn't do like Tom,

put a g*n in his mouth,

it's a win.

f*ck you, you sad,

pathetic, piece of sh*t.

Once Jack lands

the South Georgia State Fair

tonight, he's gon' prove you wrong.

Not that he fancies to impress a fool.

State Fair, huh?

Hoo.

That is a big stage.

Looking forward to see how

the Spades f*ck that one up.

What do you think?

Wow.

Uh, "wow" is good, but for 109 bucks,

I need at least good.

You look great.

You look great

with nothing on anything.

[GIGGLES]

[BREATHES DEEPLY] Yeah.

Ah.

All right, Roo.

Ah! Ah!

- You're k*lling me, Diego.

- Oh, no.

Ah!

And that's when you

holler for the medics.

"Help, medics, help. He's hurt".

[ROOSTER] Yup, and then that's

when the fake medics

- come out with a stretcher.

- [DIEGO] Right. Mm-hmm.

And then I give a thumbs up

to the crowd with my good arm.

- We high five.

- [BOTH] Yeah!

[ROOSTER] 'Cause you know,

the DWL is all about

- friendship and camaraderie.

- Mm-hmm.

And those stuffed-shirt State Fair asses

that Jack's kissing,

they gon' love it.

Ain't that right, Thomas?

[THOMAS] Rooster, that was so good.

I thought you were really hurt.

[CHUCKLES] Yes, you did,

'cause I'm good like that.

But what if you got hurt for real?

Oh, that ain't gonna happen.

Know how I know?

'Cause I ain't working with

Bobby Pin's rookie ass tonight.

[LAUGHTER]

It's all right.

My rookie ass can take it.

Guys.

I'm okay. My dad says that word.

See, if it was a real injury,

Diego would put up the X

with his arms like that.

- Then

- They'd probably send out

some fake-ass medics.

- [CRYSTAL] Well.

- [ALL CHUCKLE]

Hey, Crystal and Bobby,

Jack wants to see y'all in his office.

[JACK] Hey, Crystal, take a seat.

Ace and I have been talking about

a couple of different ideas.

We're gonna go in a bit of

a different direction tonight.

Y'all two will stay together

through autographs.

You go down to the ring together,

but then he's gonna grab a mic

and tell the crowd that

the two of you are breaking up

because he caught you going

behind his back with Bobby Pin.

Bobby, we're gonna sh**t

some photographs of the two of you

that Ace can wave around in the ring

as proof of the infidelity.

Shouldn't be hard

for the audience to see.

Can't exactly beam 'em up

on a f*cking jumbotron, can we?

[DEBBIE] The technology exists.

- Just saying.

- [ACE] Thank you, Debbie.

You got a spare jumbotron, Debbie?

- I do not.

- [WILLIE] Thank you, Debbie.

- [STARTS, STOPS]

- Bobby, the angle's gonna be

that the two of y'all are in love.

Cool.

Ace, what is this?

[JACK] Hey, Crystal,

this is my call.

Then Ace'll say

"You may think it's love,

but she'll break your heart

just as she broke mine".

Uh, "Lucky for me,

there's plenty of fish in the sea

and I got the biggest rod".

Ace, y-your f*cking ad-libs.

For Christ's sake.

- Come on.

- "Lucky for me, I got a new valet.

Duffy, meet Tricia".

Then I guess I'll just

go out there and do like

Not much of anything, sweetheart.

Oh, come on.

I thought I'd do, like,

a cartwheel or something.

But you won't.

Bobby, we're gonna keep

y'all two together

for the next little bit.

Y'all good?

Yup.

Yeah.

Well, um,

uh, w-when Bobby gets up on the ropes

to do the frog splash,

I'm supposed to distract him, so

What? Is-is, uh, she gonna do it now?

[JACK] No, I'm gonna do that now,

with the hook being that I

just need my rematch with Ace.

[CRYSTAL] Yeah.

It's good. It-it's better, probably.

[WILLIE] All right, Crystal,

go change your outfit.

And then you and Bobby meet me

in the washroom,

ten minutes, for photos.

Jack, you need to head out to dinner.

All right, well, thank

y'all for being flexible.

Debbie's gonna handle the autographs

'cause I won't be here

for prep with Willie,

but uh, we are gonna be amazing tonight.

All of us.

We're gonna wow the state fair people,

we're gonna close the deal,

and all of our fortunes will change.

[GIGGLING] I love it.

Ace.

You could have just talked to me.

Why are you doing this?

[ACE] I'm doing what's best

for my character, Crystal.

It's a better story.

You said so yourself.

It's nothing personal. It's business.

I used to be a cheerleader.

Varsity, two years.

[CHUCKLES]

Hope we didn't get stood up.

Why did Grandpa Tom

gives the DWL to you and not Ace?

Uh, well, 'cause I'm older.

Because I wanted it.

Uncle Ace wanted something different,

but now he's more invested.

Did Uncle Ace want to be bad?

[CHUCKLING] No, he did not.

No, that was the decision that I made

'cause I write the shows.

I made him turn heel.

But Uncle Ace is a good person.

Right. No, his character's bad.

Your uncle Ace isn't bad.

Same as me, I'm just playing bad guys.

Why do you have to?

'Cause bad guys exist

and people want to see things

portrayed that exist in real life.

That's why me and your mama

are raising a good guy like you

to offset the bad.

And I think it's what's best

for the story.

That's all wrestling is, buddy.

It's just stories.

[BOBBY] So I guess we

have two valets now?

Willie, if this is such

an important event,

then why is Jack relying on a new valet

like Tricia f*cking Bell?

Jack likes excitement. I don't know.

I just know his gut instincts.

We follow 'em.

We're better off.

Willie, what are you doing down there?

Getting the picture.

Trying to make it look

cleaner, like I'm sneaking.

Go on, get your hands

all over one another.

Like you're about to have sex.

I'll count us in. On three. Ready?

- Yeah.

- One, two, three.

Christ. It's like you're related.

And not in the hot way. Good Lord.

Bobby. Pull her in.

We're not doing an immaculate

conception plotline.

Theoretically,

this girl gives you a boner.

- Okay, you sit here.

- Mm-hmm.

I'm going to straddle you. Cool?

Okay.

Just gonna get right okay.

[BOBBY PIN] Okay.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]

♪

That's it. Off to print 'em.

Sorry.

- Have a great show.

- You too.

I'm gonna just

There we go.

All right.

[CRYSTAL] Okay.

I don't know much about wrestling.

I grew up a big SCC football fan.

Oh, me too. Go, Dawgs.

I went to Auburn.

Well, I'm so sorry to hear that.

[LAUGHTER]

I'm more of a "Jeopardy!" kind of guy.

Yeah, and I can speak on musical theater

and figure skating.

Which is to say, we are

not wrestling aficionados,

but we're intrigued

about adding wrestling

to our attractions.

And we got a 10,000-seat arena.

Constance came on board to

rethink our engagement points,

how to bring more people in

and entertain them better.

[CONSTANCE] Yeah, I'm sure

you're wondering why

you got this call out of the blue, Jack,

but our research has vetted

how popular independent

professional wrestling is

throughout Georgia, Alabama,

and North Florida.

Some of our junior team members

delved into your social media posts,

your promos, your products.

I mean, it is very impressive.

Well, thank you. We sure do work hard.

Uh, a little-little background, here.

My dad created the league

about 30 years ago

and, uh, people in Duffy

still come out every weekend

because he built something

that people really feel

like they're a part of.

I mean, we're Duffy.

We're not we're not Atlanta.

We don't have the Braves or the Hawks

or NASCAR or the Falcons.

We've got the DWL belt.

It's our championship, and

and people feel like

they're a part of it

'cause of our authenticity.

But how do you keep the fans excited

when none of it's real?

It's a story.

Like, a real story.

Like Ace.

He's the hero, and everyone loves him

because he's just, like, a good person.

But then he lost to my daddy

and he just couldn't take it

that he was the loser.

So then he became a heel.

A-a heel?

- Yeah, a bad guy.

- Oh.

And now he wants revenge.

Like, he's really mad.

Like, really, really mad at my dad

to prove everyone was wrong.

And you go to the show

and you're just, like,

waiting to see what he's gonna do.

Is he gonna remember he's a good person?

Or does he care too much about winning,

that, when the ref has his back turned,

he's gonna do something

like kick my daddy

where the sun don't shine?

- [LAUGHTER]

- [JACK] My goodness.

I wish I could tell you

that I wrote that for him,

but my scripts are rarely that concise.

We're thrilled that you're here

and we've got a great show

planned for y'all tonight.

You can ask me anything,

and as long as you don't make

me spill any trade secrets,

I can explain to you why

we're a good fit for your fair.

[COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

♪

[ACE] Have a good one.

You don't need to do this.

We're a good team.

Were.

There you go.

[CRYSTAL] Oh, hey, make sure

he spelled Ace correctly.

Those three-letter words

can get mighty complicated.

- That's Wild Bill!

- [WILD BILL] Hello, beautiful.

[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

- I ain't gon' bite you.

- [CROWD CLAMORING]

[CAMERA SHUTTERS SNAPPING]

♪

That'll be 15 even.

I'm sorry. I got nothing smaller.

Thank you.

[SINGER] Na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪

Na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪

Na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪

Na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪

A glowing dawn of crowded eyes ♪

Each a screaming pulsar ♪

Wounded knees, dance till clean ♪

The needles in the ghost ♪

Grit, sand, silica ♪

Demand perfect porcelain ♪

Distant glimmers' ancient dust ♪

Begs the flesh to rise ♪

Na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪

Na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

I gotta take a leak.

♪

[MUSIC FADES]

It takes a lady to tamp down the envy

of a juvenile jackass like Ace.

Valets rarely get the credit.

sh*t, if it weren't for the tenacity

of some of my old gals,

I'd have never made it

to the stage half the time.

Wild Bill, can we take a picture?

Sure. Snap away. Here to please.

What the hell you think you're doing?

She's not taking the photo.

She's gon' be in it.

Will somebody take our photo, please?

Gonna be worth money soon.

Mark my words. She's a star.

Smile for the camera.

You're not going anywhere.

You're blowing up.

Hello, Bill.

Sweet Debbie, my dear. How are you?

Fine. And I don't want

to get in the middle here,

but that is where I am now.

I was told Jack told you

to stay away from here.

Well, Jack was talking

'bout a lot of things,

the most intriguing of which

was the promise

he and I would have some fun together.

It sounded so tempting, I showed up.

- Yeah, don't try to

- [FAN] Hey, Bill.

One more, Bill. Please.

Put him in a headlock, Bill.

- [DEBBIE LAUGHS]

- Just trying to help y'all

make a good impression

for the State Fair delegation.

I know how important it is

for y'all to succeed

so this place doesn't fold

and put everyone out of work.

You've known me since way back

when I was a rook.

You know my intentional heart.

Just

sit in the crowd

where Jack can't see you.

And please try to keep your clothes on.

Oh, there's the Debbie I know.

[LAUGHING] Shut up.

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]

[JACK] You were a big help

at dinner, buddy.

[THOMAS] Can we go

to Ms. Brickey's house

to get the gerbil after the show?

We can go tomorrow.

You want me to get you a seat up there

by ringside, front row?

Nah, I wanna be backstage with you.

I like watching you work and all.

[APOCALYPSE] You think

this might actually work?

Like, maybe we'll get to perform

in front of 10,000 people?

This not good enough for you?

Ten thousand people.

Everything Tom Spade dreamed of doing.

- It's cool.

- It is cool.

Good luck, man.

Yo, it's packed out there, man.

What's good for Jack

clearly ain't good for me.

I got value. I got skills.

Either Jack don't see it

or he don't want to.

Dude, every day,

it's the same f*cking story

with you lately.

I mean, you're in here bellyaching

'cause Jack's giving me the push tonight

in the Battle Royal and

I'm supposed to feel sorry?

I don't give a sh*t

about any of this, okay?

About Jack,

about who wins the stupid Battle Royal

or the belt.

I mean, I just want to wrestle.

Look, man,

you and I are the last two men

standing in the battle tonight.

What if you won, huh? Who would care?

Yeah, you wanna win?

Win. I'll fall out the ring.

You'll be champ.

[RESONANT AMBIENT MUSIC PLAYS]

Jack would lose his sh*t.

I'll say I tripped.

You're my friend.

I want you happy. Not him.

All right?

♪

[LAUGHS] Come on, baby. sh*t.

♪

[MOANING AND PANTING]

[MOANING AND PANTING CONTINUES]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

[WILLIE] Hey!

Did you seal the deal?

Uh, well, if we have a good

show tonight, it's ours.

Then let's good-show this sh*t.

Pardon me, Thomas.

[SCOFFS] So uptight.

Good luck tonight.

Mind if I give you some advice?

I'm not really a part

of the show tonight,

so it's not necessary.

The attention you got at

autographs is any indication,

you're a big part of every show.

So when you walk out to the ring,

pull your hair back so

the crowd can really see you.

Your pretty face is a bigger

draw than any muscles.

Why else would Ace be so caustic?

He's jealous.

I'd be jealous too if I had a valet

getting bigger pops than I was.

Well, I'm not Ace's valet after tonight.

Script has me getting dumped

'cause I was caught cheating.

sh*t.

Jack can be so short-sighted.

Protecting the feelings

of his man-child brother.

In my day, these things

weren't so scripted.

This league's got some buzz

'cause he went off script with

the Duffy screw-job on Ace.

If Jack was smart, he'd mine that drama.

Let it be dramatic, improvisational.

Crowds believe it most when

you say what you really feel.

You got chops.

So if you get a feeling, lean into it.

If it's not scripted as your time,

seize the moment and make it your time.

Make everybody else react

to what you do.

That's called self-determination.

Maybe this is just

the wrong place for me.

Mm.

Fortune must be enticed

to reveal itself.

Just gotta open your heart and have fun.

That's the point anyway, isn't it?

[ACE] Now, before we start tonight

I got something important I wanna say.

Little secret I found out about

my very own valet, Crystal.

Yeah, that's right, Crystal.

I know you've been sneaking

around behind my back

with Bobby Pin.

- That's sad.

- What?

You thought I wouldn't find out?

That you could just play both sides

'til one of us was crowned champ

and you'd make your decision

and claim your spot

on the throne as queen?

I made you what you are!

And you repay me with this?

Hey, you missed coming

out with the photos.

You filthy piece of trailer trash!

I pulled you out of the dump!

Now I'm sending you back

to that rat's nest

so you can hustle tricks as a cam girl

'til you wind up dead!

- That was good, Dad.

- Thank you, buddy.

Uh, can you run on downstairs,

grab us a few Cokes, please?

Thank you.

Hey,

we gotta ratchet it back real quick

with the whole "rot 'til you're

dead, cam girl" stuff.

But I'm a heel now.

I'm not supposed to care

about her feelings.

The lines I wrote will turn

the audience against her.

Just say the lines I wrote.

It's a family show.

Hey, Battle Royal's heating up.

Main event in moments. Places, fellas.

[CROWD CHEERING OUTSIDE]

[CHEERING CONTINUES]

Ah!

[ALL SHOUTING]

- How do they not get hurt?

- Every one of them on dr*gs.

[ALL SHOUTING AND CHEERING]

How have I never been

to one of these before?

This is awesome.

Hey, good luck, everyone.

Let's crush it.

Something you wanna say?

I just know a place

you can get your roots done

where your hair won't look so bleached.

Mm.

- I was trying to be helpful!

- Hey, ladies.

- Okay, okay, ladies.

- Hey, get the f*ck off her.

- I was trying to help, man.

- Help yourself, man.

Hey! Cool it, God damn it.

[TRICIA LAUGHS]

You're not seriously crying, right?

You shut your f*cking mouth

or I'll shut it for you.

There. That should hold.

[JACK] Hey.

- Are we all good?

- Yeah.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

What are they doing?

[DIEGO] Hey, Rooster.

[CROWD] Rooster! Rooster!

Rooster! Rooster!

Rooster! Rooster!

Rooster! Rooster!

- Rooster! Rooster!

- Come on, man.

Do it.

- [CROWD] Rooster! Rooster!

- [ROOSTER] No.

[CROWD] Rooster! Rooster!

[CROWD BOOING]

You sure?

[BELL DINGS]

[CROWD BOOING]

[HEAVY MUSIC PLAYS]

Yeah, baby, whoo!

[SINGER] Ah ♪

[RAP MUSIC PLAYING INDISTINCTLY]

[BOOING CONTINUES]

You had me worried there for a second.

Thought y'all were

gonna throw Diego out.

Hey, I need to let you

improvise more, okay?

Admitted. Crowd loved it.

What's my name?

Rooster.

What's my real name?

Deandre Milton Rutherford.

I know your legal name

because I pay you by check

and I give you a 1099.

You go by Dee to your family

and you go by DA to your friends,

which I know because

you're always talking

with your f*cking speakerphone

on in the locker room.

And like I said,

your stage name is Rooster.

Now, I know that things

have been crazy around here,

but please, please, please,

do not make me out to be

somebody that I'm not.

I'm not a man

who doesn't know your name.

I know all four of them,

and I'll call you any one

that you want me to.

Tonight was about respect, recognition,

and success for everyone here,

which clearly includes you.

So this time tomorrow,

if there's anything that I can do

to alleviate these frustrations

that you're clearly having, I will try.

And your moment in the sun is gon' come.

Thank you very much

for your work tonight.

You crushed.

All right. Hey!

- [ALL CHEERING]

- There he is. Yeah, D!

- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

- Way to go, brother!

- [DIEGO] Yee!

- [MAN] Yeah, D!

[SINGER] Have you ever seen

a man not afraid to die? ♪

Gave his life for a dream

born hustler ♪

So the game conceived ♪

What is a cage match?

I looked it up. First one

who climbs out wins.

[SINGER] Been training

for this my whole life ♪

Carpe diem, seize the moment, right? ♪

Jack, you're on.

[MELLOW MUSIC PLAYS]

♪

Good luck, babe.

♪

[WILLIE] Hey, Ace.

Photos are in here.

[ACE] Thanks.

[SINGER] In my sleep ♪

♪

In my dreams, baby ♪

♪

In all my dreams ♪

♪

Me and my baby been struggling ♪

Feels like nothing ♪

Can keep me straight ♪

♪

She says, "Don't leave me" hurts ♪

But angel, stay put ♪

Stay here with me ♪

Is this ever deadly? ♪

She said, "Wait and see" ♪

♪

Lover ♪

Wait and see ♪

♪

[CROWD BOOING]

[ACE] Now, before we get started,

I got something important I want

I have a confession to make.

[CROWD EXCLAIMS]

Ace Spade

I been cheating on you with Bobby Pin.

[CROWD SHOUTS]

[CRYSTAL] But that's not my confession.

My confession is

I'm not the least bit sorry about it.

[CROWD SHOUTS]

The thing is, Ace, you can't satisfy me.

I need a man, not a crybaby boy.

But hey, don't worry.

You're so lucky

'cause sometimes,

you find someone more pathetic than you.

[CROWD LAUGHS AND SHOUTS]

Hey, uh, Tricia, you know

I'm talking about you.

Get that bony behind out here.

[CROWD BOOS]

Think that's your cue, sweetheart.

Did she just say I have a bony behind?

Take it as a compliment.

It'll expand eventually.

Move it!

- Jesus.

- [BOOING CONTINUES]

[CRYSTAL] Folks, I wanna

introduce y'all to Tricia.

There she is.

[CROWD BOOING]

Now, hold on.

Now, I'm thankful for this

this little lady,

because this here girl,

she don't mind reaching over

across the bed at night

to find not a man

[SCATTERED LAUGHTER]

but a whimpering shell of a man.

[CROWD SHOUTING]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I'm sorry, Ace. Did you want the mic?

I'm all done.

Well, one last thing, I guess.

We're over.

[CROWD] Ooh!

I'm with Bobby now.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Let the night roar!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Yeah, break another mic. Why not?

Hey, Thomas, when you grow up,

do one thing for me.

Don't become a f*cking idiot

like these guys.

- Got it.

- sh*t.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Get out of the ring now!

She is off script.

She never goes off script.

What did you say to her?

[ACE] What the f*ck is this sh*t, man?

Hey-hey, get to your corner.

Stick with your spots.

We'll deal with it later.

I just told her she has talent

and the world needs to see it.

Thankfully, Debbie, we live in an age

where all it takes

to get a woman to act boldly

is to tell her the time

has come for change

and she's the one who should change it.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

- [TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]

- [CHEERING FADES OUT]

♪

- [BELL DINGS]

- [CROWD CHEERS]

Hey, too much movement.

Oh, Ace, easy!

[ALL SHOUTING]

Ace!

[BOBBY PIN] It's too much.

Hey, hey.

Dude, take it easy, man.

[ACE] Reverse.

Let's go! Whoo!

[FAN] Yeah, buddy, that's it!

[CROWD BOOING]

[CROWD GASPS]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Whoo!

Climb the cage.

Superplex.

Ace, hey, hey, you never done that.

You never done that.

What the

Bobby, come on!

[BOBBY] Hey, calm down.

Ace, I haven't done this before, man.

Don't be a f*cking p*ssy.

Who the f*ck do you think you are?

You do not get to change things.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[BOBBY PIN] Ow, Ace! Ow!

[JACK] Bobby, tap!

Hey!

Ace, that's really tight, man.

It hurts, man. Ace!

- Ace?

- [JACK] Tap, tap, tap.

Hey, Ace, what the f*ck?

Ow! Ace! Don't do it, man!

- [BONE CRACKS]

- [BOBBY PIN SCREAMS]

[CROWD SHOUTING]

[BOBBY PIN GROANING AND SCREAMING]

sh*t. Hey. Now, now, now, now.

[ALL GROAN]

That means he's really hurt.

Stretcher, now.

[BOBBY PIN GROANING]

[JACK] Stay there. Stay down.

That's what happens when

you mess with Ace Spade!

[SOLEMN MUSIC PLAYS]

♪

[JACK] We got it, dude.

Breathe, breathe.

- [BOBBY PIN SHOUTS]

- Lay down.

Come on.

♪

Careful, now.

[JACK MURMURING INDISTINCTLY]

[BOBBY PIN GROANING AND PANTING]

It's gonna be okay.

[BOBBY PIN] Ow!

♪

[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

♪

Take deep breaths, my man.

Here we go. All right.

Slow it down here.

Slow it down.

Ambulance. It's bad.

[APOCALYPSE] Bobby, we got you.

[BOBBY PIN] Hey, Jack. Jack.

I hope the people from the fair

still like what we did, man.

- I'm really sorry, man.

- [JACK] Hey, hey.

Don't you worry.

We gon' fix you right up.

- Okay, man.

- We're gonna fix you

[WILD BILL] Oh, my Lord.

I look around at the fear in your faces

and I want y'all to know

I, too, am horrified

by what I seen here tonight.

Injury so horrifying

yet so avoidable.

- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

- [CROWD MURMURS]

But apparently, that's

what the DWL has become

in King Spade's absence.

Hey, Jack, take it easy, man.

It's not worth it.

- f*ck!

- Dad?

[WILD BILL] As most of y'all know,

recently, I parted ways

with the Big Show up north.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Wanted to come home to Duffy

and slow things down.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Enjoy the three Fs,

as I like to call 'em

food, fishin', and fornicatin'.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

But that was before I got a whiff

of what the Spade boys been up to.

Now, me and King Tom, we may

have had our differences,

but the one thing Tom

always had was my respect.

Now I see his boys,

and they are making

a mockery of his legacy,

razing the house he built

with his own two hands!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

A month ago, Jack here

humiliated his brother

in the ring.

And now Ace has just injured

and possibly ruined the career

of a fellow wrestler.

- [CROWD BOOING]

- [WILD BILL] The DWL belt

- m*therf*cker.

- [WILD BILL] Belongs

to neither of these boys!

They haven't earned it.

They don't deserve it.

It's time to right this ship.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Somebody get me the belt

and get me a g*dd*mn microphone!

Someone's gotta do it

and it might as well be

Wild Bill Hancock!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

And that's why I've decided

to challenge Jack and Ace

for the DWL Championship belt

in a three-way ladder match.

Come on!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

What you think, Jack?

You got something you want to say to me?

Hey, Bill. You make me laugh.

You came back here for your roots?

You came back here because

the folks up north realised

what I've known for a long time.

You're a drunken has-been

who's got no place in that ring

just like you got no place in mine.

Now, if you're gonna make me

teach you that the hard way,

so be it.

I'll give you your sh*t.

We can go up in the ring.

You can pretend like it's 1995.

But you are not gonna walk out of there.

No, sir.

And if y'all want this belt

on the line, then so be it.

I'll put the belt on the line.

But you got no chance, none whatsoever,

'cause this belt is staying right here

in my hands!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[SIREN WAILING]

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]

♪

[ACE] Jack.

Hey, buddy, why don't you

go to the gift shop?

Get yourself a candy bar.

But Mum would be mad.

I'll take care of your Mum.

Go on.

- You just did the one thing

- Hey, hey

You did the one thing that

you cannot f*cking do.

It was an accident, Jack.

I swear to God it was an accident, okay?

Bobby isn't experienced.

I didn't want him to go

in the ring so early.

- Shut up, Ace.

- You know what? I had

Shut the f*ck up! Hey!

You understand now

why I made you a heel?

'Cause you're a f*cking piece of sh*t.

f*ck you.

Jack. Jack!

Thank you so much for coming out.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, let me get you Jack.

Hold on just a minute.

It's Jack.

Oh, hey there.

Oh, yeah, that's part of the fun.

Audience never knows what's real.

Bob Bobby Pin does do a great job

of selling the pain, that's for sure.

Well, Wild-Wild Bill's

a star for a reason.

His uh, his persona is unique.

All right, we'll uh,

touch base tomorrow.

Thank you.

Look, I know you got

a lot on your plate,

but your son's got no idea

what the f*ck is going on,

and he's scared senseless.

You don't talk to him soon,

I'm calling Staci.

Willie.

We got the fair.

Okay.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]

♪

[SINGER] I feel good ♪

What about you? ♪

I'm coming up ♪

Can you feel it too? ♪

I feel nice ♪

The kind of nice that I like ♪

Feeling warmth ♪

Running deep inside me ♪

Well, I said three words

that I meant ♪

And I really meant 'em ♪

But ♪

No, I didn't mean to no, I ♪

Didn't mean to show you my true self ♪

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

♪

I'm feeling well ♪

The kind of well that I want ♪

All your love ♪

Is coming over the fire ♪

Well, I said three words

that I meant ♪

And I really meant 'em but ♪

No, I didn't mean to no, I ♪

Didn't mean to show you my true self ♪

♪