11x11 - A Gentlemen's Sport

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat, Why does

♪ a love kiss

♪ stay in my memory? ♪

MUSIC: 'Don't Bring Me Down' by Pretty Things

♪ I'm on my own

♪ Just wanna roam

♪ I tell you, man

♪ Don't want a home

♪ I wander round... ♪

Get a move on, if you know what's good for you.

- No! I'm going as fast as I can! - Get out of the way, old man!

♪ I say I think this life is grand

♪ Say, I dig it, man

♪ Don't bring me down

♪ Don't bring me down

♪ I met this chick

♪ The other day

♪ And then to me

♪ She said she'd stay

♪ I got this...

Aaargh!

♪ Just like a cave

♪ And then we'll have a little rave

♪ And then I laid her on the ground

♪ My head is spinning round

♪ Don't bring me down

♪ Don't bring me down

♪ Yeah! ♪

Don't move him!

I'm a doctor. Call an ambulance.

Does anyone know what happened? One at a time.

He got hit by a car.

ON RADIO: 'If You Gotta Make a Fool of Somebody'

Urgh!

(SWITCHES RADIO OFF)

- Mike! You shouldn't have. - You're right. I didn't.

I'm starving.

Could do with a bit of a tidy.

You don't say.

We ought to get a housekeeper.

Better idea. Why don't you start pulling your weight?

Come on, Mike.

Life's too short to worry about a few measly crumbs on the carpet.

Crumbs?! Crumbs, I can deal with.

Last night's beans on toast, now, that's pushing it.

PHONE RINGS

Aidensfield Police.

Right, sarge. I'm on my way.

SONG: 'Roadrunner'

Oh, no!

DAVID: I...I can't imagine it.

BERNARD: Imagine what?

DAVID: Mr Vernon, working in a chip shop.

BERNARD: What on earth gave you that idea?

Well, Just... Before he left this morning,

he kept going on about having fish to fry in Whitby.

David! He was speaking metaphorically.

What's that, then?

It's what Mr Vernon does

when Mr Vernon doesn't want anyone to know what he's doing.

'ey up. Looks like someone's in a spot of bother.

Thank you very much, doctor. Lucky you were here.

Well, let's hope he's OK.

Indeed. Excuse me.

MIKE: You say you recognised him? And his name's Charlie Draper?

How's the robber, sarge?

He's barely conscious, but he'll live, thanks to Dr Summerbee.

Mr Reynolds recognises him. Charlie Draper.

That's right.

What about the getaway vehicle? - Oh, sorry. Didn't see that.

It was a beige Austin .

One was stolen from Crowther Street yesterday.

Did you recognise anything else?

I don't see what difference it makes.

Ask Charlie Draper. He's the one with answers.

Rest assured, we'll be talking to Charlie Draper soon enough.

Thank you.

Is this bloke famous?

How would I know? This has had it.

- It's 'ad it. - Had it?

What do you mean, had it? Come on, lads.

We can't give up yet.

Water pump's had it. It'll need replacing.

Where am I going to find that sort of help out here?

This place makes Snowdonia look lively.

Oh, well, Mr Scripps runs a garage down the road.

A garage?

Why the devil didn't you say?

You didn't ask.

- He's just back from X-ray. - When can we talk to him?

Not yet, I'm afraid. He's undergoing treatment.

He's sustained a nasty head wound and several breakages.

- All we need is a minute. - Sorry, it's out of my hands.

I want Draper watched round the clock.

Get Bellamy to stay here until instructed otherwise.

Doctor!

BERNARD: Why couldn't Alfred go in the back?

Oh, dear Lord!

Aidensfield Arms. They should be able to put you up.

I'll go and get the pick-up. Fetch your car.

I'll collect it tomorrow, then.

Oh, thank you...er...David.

Sorry, I haven't got any loose change.

- Oh, er... Mr Sanders. - Yes?

Could I trouble you for an autograph?

I've not met anybody famous before.

It's been a while since anybody's asked me that. Yes, of course.

Oh.

Pen?

David, you said?

MUSIC: 'Double Barrel' by Dave and Ansell Collins

GINA: Oh, sorry. We're closed.

- You're joking. - I'm too old for this, Gina...

I don't believe it.

I take it you two know each other.

Well, not quite. But I certainly know Mr Sanders.

Gina, meet Vinny Sanders,

one of the finest batsmen to grace Headingley.

- Hiya. - Hello.

What brings you to Aidensfield?

Car trouble. The bloke at the garage said you'd rooms to rent.

He said you do the best food this side of North Ridings.

Sorry, lunches finished at two.

I think we can make an exception just this once, Gina.

OK. Why not?

You know where the kitchen is. Some of us have got shopping to do.

Well, well, well. Vinny Sanders.

- Trouble? - Hendry's Haulage Yard.

Gallons of diesel have gone missing.

- Any luck at the hospital? - Not so far.

Have you managed to dig up any dirt on Draper?

Plenty, sarge. I knew the name rang a bell somewhere.

We've had run-ins with Mr Draper in the past.

Mainly in connection with car theft.

- Go on. - He was orphaned at ,

spent the rest of his teens in foster homes.

That's where he met his partner in crime, Jack Wetherby.

Jack Wetherby?

Yes, a right pair of villains, the two of them.

They both served time for stealing a bread van.

It ended up being driven through some poor old widow's garden fence.

Good work, Ventress.

We'd better go and have a word with this Jack Wetherby.

FRONT DOOR OPENS

- All right? - How was work?

Don't ask.

Oh, Jack! How did you afford those?

I didn't. I nicked them from t'graveyard.

Sorry I didn't make it home for dinner.

- Where were you? - Overtime.

Every little helps, I suppose.

Oh, not another bill.

Last reminder.

Is it any wonder what folks'll turn to these days, to make ends meet.

What are you going on about?

Something I heard on t'wireless.

That jeweller's in Ashfordly got burgled.

- Mr Reynolds' place? - Aye. That's the one.

Awful in't it?

I mean, someone somewhere's filthy rich.

And for what? Five minutes work?

What do you mean, cricket match?

I've been in touch with The Saracens Head. The landlord's keen.

Next you'll ask me to serve the punters champagne and strawberries.

That's the wrong sport, Gina.

Whatever. I still think you're mad.

It's not every day a sporting legend turns up

on your doorstep, is it?

I can see it now. Vinny Sanders, legend of days gone by,

coming back, out of retirement for one last game,

to lead the Aidensfield Arms to their biggest triumph so far.

So you've had the royal seal of approval?

- The what? - Vinny?

Well, I'm working on it.

- Mr Wetherby? - Yeah.

Sergeant Craddock, Ashfordly Police. This is Constable Bradley.

Could we have a word, please, sir?

Charlie Draper? I knew he had a screw loose, but...

robbery? How do you know it were him?

Fortunately, he neglected his kerb drill during his hasty departure.

Is he...?

Battered and bruised, yes.

A few days in hospital, soon be on his feet again.

What's all this got to do with me?

Could you tell us where you were at around : today?

- He was at work. - Your husband can answer that.

- I was at work. - And where was that?

Whoever needs an extension or patio building. I'm a lackey.

He's a builder's labourer.

- Were you at work all day? - Yeah.

- Even worked through dinner today. - Oh?

I usually nip home for my dinner, but we had a job to finish off.

I see.

Am I being accused of something here, or what?

No-one's accusing you of anything. Just exploring a few avenues.

It's not long since you and Draper were a formidable partnership.

Yeah. Well, I've put all that behind me.

I've got family to think about now.

Hey, Vinny!

They never used to bother me.

Came with the territory, I suppose.

Then they start tearing into your private life.

I remember you took a fair old pasting from the press.

Maybe this is a chance to put the record straight.

Hm. Mud sticks, Oscar.

So long as they keep their distance,

we'll get along fine.

No, no, no. On me. On the house.

Personal thanks.

Summer , you took Lancashire apart,

single-handedly, on their own patch.

I'll drink to that.

, you were.

, not out.

Not out. And five wickets.

For .

It was a great day. And what about that diving catch?

Well, there was one diving catch at second slip and...

Yep, Oscar's definitely got a twinkle in his eye.

I've never seen him so star struck.

What is it with men and cricket?

Search me, but I'd rather watch grass grow.

Let me know. I'll bring a bottle. We'll make an evening of it.

- Hiya, Mike. The usual, is it? - Yes, please, Gina, thanks.

Can I get you anything, Tricia?

No, thanks. I'm fine.

Jenny seems to be settling in well.

It's nice to have someone else around.

Wish I could say the same about Tom

but the house looks like a b*mb site.

Nothing a good kick up the backside wouldn't solve.

I'd settle for a crash course in washing up.

Have you heard the news, Mike? Oscar's organising a cricket match.

Keep your voice down. I've not announced it officially yet.

He means he hasn't asked His Worship over there.

That...

is the great Slogger Sanders.

Oh, he's... He's out like a light in there, Doctor.

Lucky for some, eh?

ON RADIO: 'We Gotta Get Out of this Place'

- Did I hear the phone? - The hospital.

Aren't you meant to be on night watch?

- I forgot to set the alarm. - So who's there now?

- Phil. - You left him there all night?

I'm mincemeat, Mike.

I wouldn't want to be in his shoes.

In whose shoes, Ventress?

Er... Nobody you know, sarge.

Then why is it being discussed here and now?

And where's Bellamy?

He's probably gone to...

Bernie's garage, sarge.

Getting a tyre fixed.

He just called to say he had a puncture.

As long as he's not all day.

It's time we had another word with Charlie Draper.

And this time, I will not take no for an answer.

Oh!

I'm nipping into York to fetch a water pump for the Thunderbird.

I shouldn't be long.

You take your time, Mr Scripps.

I...I could run this place with both eyes shut.

Robbery?

What robbery?

You may have taken a knock, Mr Draper,

- but you're fooling nobody here. - It's me head, see?

Every time I try and remember, it's like a thick fog washes over me.

Then I suggest you try harder.

I can't even remember what I had for breakfast.

Let alone how I ended up here.

Does the name Jack Wetherby mean anything to you?

Wetherby?

No.

What are you trying to achieve? You're facing a long sentence.

You will make matters worse if you refuse to co-operate.

What's an extra couple of years?

I mean, if I did commit this terrible crime, like you say,

what's to say my share won't be waiting for me

when I'm breathing fresh air again?

I wouldn't count on it, Mr Draper. From what I gather,

your so-called accomplice wasn't so considerate.

Meaning?

The witnesses said he was off like greased lightning.

- Whatever. - He couldn't care less

about his partner lying on the road.

- Why should he? Double his riches. - You're lying.

You don't seem so sure, do you, Mr Draper?

No two ways about it, sarge. He's lying.

So what now?

- Should I stay? - No. Get some rest.

Get on to Bellamy. He can take the next shift.

No!

I mean...I don't mind.

We need a full complement, what with the robbery.

May as well stay, as I'm here.

- If you're sure you're up to it. - Fighting fit, sarge.

That's a commendable attitude. Make an officer of you yet.

Bradley, get onto Wetherby's building site.

See if his manager can vouch for him at the time of the robbery.

Right, sarge.

Hello!

Mr Scripps?

Oh, no. He's not here.

Delivery for Scripps.

He never said. What is it?

Fuel.

Well, should you... Should you really be...?

I can't hang around all day. Where do you want it?

- I don't know. - Have to do here, then.

Mrs Wetherby said her husband left at the usual time this morning.

But nobody saw him at the building site since yesterday morning?

That's right. He left work around lunch time,

claimed he was feeling under the weather.

Something's not right. I'm going to look for him.

I'll let Craddock know.

Oh, and Alf, you'd better wake Phil

before Craddock realises what's going on.

Over and out. - Roger.

MUSIC: 'Down the Dustpipe' by Status Quo

♪ Heading down to the turnpike

♪ Signposts are pointing west

♪ Fell into the lonely dustpipe

♪ Hope my pick-up can stand the test

♪ But I'm doing all right now

♪ Rolling down the dustpipe Na-na-na-na nana-na-nana-na ♪

- Hi, Tricia. - Oscar should do that.

You must be joking. He's too busy

dragging His Lordship round the golf course.

Not exactly kicking and screaming?

Vinny mentions golf, the next thing Oscar's loading up the car.

It could be worth it if Vinny agrees to play in Oscar's match.

It is for charity, after all.

Charity? I tell you what.

I'll donate a week's takings for a bit of peace and quiet.

See you later.

Ta-ra.

Wasting police time is a serious matter.

That's why I'm here.

To set the record straight.

So, where were you yesterday afternoon?

Working, like I said.

Not at the building site. I checked.

In Denby, working for a bloke called Dunstan.

An ex-con. A bully, who used to throw his weight around inside.

Go on.

Dunstan used to run a tuck shop.

Smuggled goods in to flog to inmates.

dr*gs, cigarettes, whisky.

I made the mistake of buying a packet of fags.

No-one said owt about subscription fee or obligation to buy.

How did you pay for these goods?

I didn't. Dunstan kept a slate.

How much do you owe to this brute Dunstan?

About two.

Hundred?

♪ Pretend you're happy when you're blue

♪ It isn't very hard to do

♪ And you will find happiness without an end

♪ If you'll pretend

♪ Remember, anyone can dream

♪ And nothing's bad as it may seem

♪ The little things you haven't got could be a lot

♪ If you'll pretend... ♪

Hello, again.

- What was the doctor doing here? - Doctor?

Yeah, the fella who's just left.

That wasn't a doctor.

Well, how come he was on duty at the hospital?

When?

Last night.

- Are you positive? - Yeah.

I'd bet your bike on it.

♪ And if you sing this melody

Alfred!

♪ You'll be pretending just like me

♪ Well, what's mine, it can be yours, my friend

♪ So why don't you pretend?

VINNY: Oh, Oscar, I'm sorry. As much as I'd like to help,

I don't plan on sticking around.

- A prior engagement, I take it? - Something like that.

- Is that business or pleasure? - Let's call it a holiday.

Anywhere I'd know?

I'll let you know when I get there.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound...

No, it's OK. It's just...

I didn't think I'd end up in the back of beyond along the way.

Not to mention interfering country yokels, eh?

No offence.

None taken.

This isn't quite working out as you planned, is it, Oscar?

No, not really.

So, this cricket match you're organising. For charity, you say?

I just thought, with you on board,

it would guarantee a decent purse for the children's home.

You're persistent, I'll give you that.

Does that mean...yes?

If that's what it takes to shut you up.

Now, watch and learn.

You've really played us for fools, haven't you?

No.

Then explain why you were impersonating a doctor.

He must have me mixed up.

- Bellamy? - It's him all right, sarge.

I told you where I were. I gave you a number.

Oh, yes. Mr Dunstan. He's a real pillar of the community, isn't he?

In prison for embezzlement, amongst other things.

How can I be sure he isn't in on it?

Armed robbery's not his style.

But he'd need somewhere to hide the stolen jewellery.

I'm tiring of your games.

Are you hiding the loot in Dunstan's club?

No! How many more times? I didn't do it.

KNOCK AT DOOR

CRADDOCK: Come in.

Sarge, we've just had a call.

A couple of ramblers found an abandoned Austin in the woods

off the Whitby Road.

The registration matches the car that was stolen in Ashfordly

the other day.

Bellamy, go with Ventress.

Tell Bradley to get on to forensics straightaway.

Sarge.

Everything all right, Mr Wetherby?

It's a wonderful thing, forensic science, isn't it?

MUSIC: 'Double Barrel' by Dave and Ansell Collins

Think about it, Jack. Something doesn't quite add up.

You lie about where you were, then you switch alibis,

on top of which you were seen at the hospital.

I've called the hospital.

Two nurses confirmed PC Bellamy's statement.

They also noticed an unfamiliar doctor hanging around.

A man fitting your description.

So, you see,

from where I'm sitting, the odds are stacked against you.

DAVID: You enjoy your picnic, Mr and Mrs Smethurst.

You want the usual, Mr Ventress? You know, petrol.

Thanks, David.

Oh, that's a bit flash, isn't it?

Taken me most of the morning to find parts for it.

What can I do for you?

We just thought we'd have a word.

- What about? - We've had a report

that fuel's gone missing from Hendry's oil depot.

Have you heard of any going the rounds?

- Can't say as I have, Alf. - Oh.

We'd appreciate it if you keep your ear to the ground.

I will do, yeah.

I think it arrived this morning.

- What did? - Well...

You know, that that Mr Ventress was talking about.

You've lost me, David.

Did you order a load of petrol?

Delivery's due a week next Monday.

That's what I said, but the driver, he said that...

Well, he said that you were expecting it.

"Fuel delivery for Mr Scripps," he said.

Vernon.

- There you are, Mr Draper. - Any chance of a bed bath?

Behave.

Maybe later, then.

- Beats prison slops. - Pipe down, Draper.

When he comes for his money,

tell him to take this lot where it came from.

- I can't. - Why not?

Well, they're empty.

Empty? What have you done with it all?

I put it with the petrol like a proper delivery bloke.

♪ Where does our love lie...

ENGINE SPLUTTERS

MRS SMETHURST: What's happening?

- I don't know. - Well, it's your car.

You're driving the thing.

♪ In the middle of nowhere

ENGINE SPLUTTERS

♪ Baby, won't you tell me

♪ What am I to do?

♪ I'm in the middle of nowhere

♪ Getting nowhere with you

♪ Mmm, where did my heart land? ♪ Hey-hey-hey...

ENGINE SPLUTTERS

♪ Where are the dreams I planned ♪ Hey-hey-hey... ♪

PHONE RINGS

Scripp's garage.

Alf.

Broken down where?

I'll be as quick as I can. And, Alf,

about this stolen fuel, you didn't mention what it was.

Diesel, you say. Right.

CRADDOCK: This had better be good, Mr Wetherby.

What I told you before,

about Dunstan...it's true.

I just want him off my back. Whatever it takes.

A few days ago, Draper made me an offer. Easy money.

That's what it was to you, was it? Easy money?

Yeah. I mean, no! Not what you're thinking.

Not the robbery. - Then what?

- The car. - Car?

- The Austin. - What about it?

- I stole it. - Knowing Draper's intention?

No! I swear. I didn't know about the robbery.

He told me, "Quick spray and sell. Split two ways. Easy money."

Why would Draper need you to steal a car?

He couldn't start a lawn mower.

It doesn't explain why you were at the hospital.

When I heard about the robbery,

I didn't want Draper dragging me down.

It's the truth. I'm no saint, but I draw the line at armed robbery.

Unfortunately, Mr Wetherby, I draw the line a good deal before that.

SONG: 'Let The Good Times Roll'

Who do you think you are - Fred Trueman?

Pitch 'em up, lads, come on.

♪ Come on baby, let the good times roll

♪ Roll all night long

♪ Oh, baby, I feel so good

♪ When you're home

♪ Come on, baby

♪ Rock me all night long

♪ Come on, baby, let's close the door

Very good. What's your name?

♪ Come on baby, let the good times roll

♪ Roll all night long ♪

Mr and Mrs Smethurst, we'll sort it in no time.

GAGS AND SPLUTTERS

SPITS

COUGHS

I think that's the last of it, Mr Scripps.

I'll sort out the carburettor, you get this refuelled.

♪ In the middle of nowhere

♪ Will it soon pass me by?

♪ In the middle of nowhere

♪ Are you gonna leave me

♪ Leave my heart astray?

♪ I'm in the middle of nowhere

♪ Come and show me the way ♪

Yes, Tom. Stranded.

In the middle of nowhere.

Yes, both of them.

It's out of my hands. You'll just have to sit tight, won't you?

We've netted a car thief, but we're back to square one

with the robbery. Let's speak to Draper.

You may be flogging a dead horse. That was Tom.

Draper's gone in for more tests.

Let's work with what we know about Draper.

Oh...er...

Local. Lived here all his life from what I can gather,

- apart from a stint inside. - Get on to police records.

Check all prisoner files during Draper's term in custody.

Put all known robbers to one side.

Sarge.

Here we go. Who remembers me in this?

- Oh, must be captain. - And the willow.

Look at that. Knock on wood.

I thought you'd be used to being in the papers.

Sorry, I was miles away.

I was reading about this robbery.

Says here a doctor revived one of the robbers.

Not just any doctor, our own Dr Summerbee.

She was in here yesterday, remember?

Come on, what harm will it do?

I'm bored out of my brains in here.

I might have some information about a certain jeweller.

Too late. Gone again.

- I've had enough of this. - Go on, Constable.

Just a quick look. That's all I ask.

I've never been in the papers before.

You never know what I might remember.

Two minutes.

Right, well, that's me then.

Here.

- Add that to your robbery file. - Thanks.

- Are you going to this meeting? - You go on ahead of me.

A pity Scatterbrain can't make it, isn't it?

If I had my way, he'd be stuck in that hospital all weekend -

which is no more than he deserves.

Look at it this way - he won't be stuck under your feet at the house.

Right then.

I'm off to the pub.

All that remains is for me to thank you

for coming at such short notice.

Extended gratitude to Vinny Sanders.

Let's make tomorrow a day to remember,

not least for putting one over the Saracens Head. Cheers.

- ALL: Cheers! - Cheers, Vinny.

Well, I thought that went quite well considering.

Apart from misery guts over there. He's hardly said a word.

That is what they call the calm before the storm.

It's part of the sportsman's psyche.

Right, Oscar, those fairways got the better of me. I'm beat.

Can't I tempt you to a nightcap?

Oh, no. I know my limit the night before a big game,

be it the Ashes or a casual game on the village green. 'Night, all.

ALL: 'Night, Vinny.

- Sleep well. See you tomorrow. - 'Night, Vinny.

SIGHS

- Hiya, Mike, what can I get you? - Oh, er, just a half.

I got you one in an hour ago.

Oh...sorry, Phil, I lost track. Is Vinny here?

- You just missed him. - And the meeting.

This could have a bearing on my selection.

Has he gone somewhere?

- Yeah. Bed. - Bit early, isn't it?

What do you want with him, anyway?

It doesn't matter. I'll... It'll have to wait.

Cheers.

DISTANT PHONE RINGS

PHONE RINGS

Aidensfield Police.

Escaped?

Tom, you idiot!

- One minute he was there, next... - Get your story straight

double quick, before he turns up...

- I know what you're thinking... - I'll deal with you later.

- How long? - Not more than . I only went...

You know the drill. Road blocks around Ashfordly.

Division are dispatching officers.

He couldn't get far in his state.

I hope so, Nicholson, for your sake.

There's something you should know about the checks I ran.

Vinny Sanders spent three months inside

- for tax evasion. - What?

Draper and Sanders were neighbours for the duration.

It's beginning to make sense -

Sanders turning up after the robbery,

the motive. - Motive?

Bankruptcy.

The Inland Revenue stung Sanders for undeclared earnings.

Oscar Blaketon said the press had a field day.

I'll attend to you later.

MUSIC: 'Kilroy Was Here' by The Move

♪ There's a fella roaming round the street

♪ I think most of all I'd like to meet

♪ I must consider him a clever lad

♪ Making like a young Sir Galahad

♪ Everywhere I go I think he's been

♪ He autographs the walls around the scene

♪ If you look hard enough you'll find him there

♪ In rooms of public places everywhere... ♪

Hold still, will you?

DAVID: My arm's aching. I need a rest.

BERNARD: There's a good idea, David.

Why not book yourself a holiday?

What, you mean like a week in Scarborough?

I were thinking more along the lines of Kuala Lumpur - one way.

♪ I found I had time on my hands to spare

♪ Surveyed my telescope around the land

THUD

♪ And saw his name imprinted in the sand

♪ Kilroy was here Left his name around the place

♪ Kilroy was here, though I've never seen his face... ♪

- Vinny. - Oscar.

Couldn't sleep. I thought a spin might clear my head.

A permanent one, by the looks of things.

Off on your jols without us, Vinny?

What's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost.

I was thinking how much you've shrunk in the wash.

What's going on?

Vinny here is not quite the gentlemen everyone thinks.

- Isn't that right? - Get in the car.

- Temper, temper. - There'll be coppers everywhere.

We'll talk elsewhere. - So you can finish me off?

Dump me by the road again?

That's it, I'm calling the police.

Oscar, wait. What could I do?

I thought you were dead. - How convenient.

If you believe that, why didn't you shop me

in the first place? - And let coppers get my share?

I planned on catching up with you soon enough. I want what I'm owed.

I'm warning you, Draper, you back off.

RINGING TONE

Come on. Come on, Mike, pick up!

- What's all the racket? - Tell Bellamy

all hell is breaking loose outside.

- Outside? - Yes.

What's going on?

I told you, Draper, back off! But you will play with fire.

Phil's on his way.

What's going on? - I'm going after Vinny.

- Vinny? What's he done? - I'll tell you later.

Who's that?

- Charlie Draper. - The robber?

Tell Bellamy that Vinny is heading up Moorcroft Lane.

And get hold of Dr Summerbee.

MUSIC: 'Slow Down' by Gerry and the Pacemakers

- Is that the lot? - Apart from Vinny's.

That'll have to wait till first thing.

Hey, turn round. Follow 'em.

♪ Well, come on, pretty baby, won't you walk with me?

♪ Come on, pretty baby, won't you talk with me?

♪ Come on, pretty baby, give me one more chance

♪ Try to save our romance Slow down

♪ Baby, now you're moving way too fast

♪ Won't you gimme little lovin' Gimme little love... ♪

VINNY: Come on. Come on!

ENGINE SPLUTTERS

♪ Well, I used to walk you home after school

♪ Carry your books home, too

♪ Baby, now you're offered a diamond ring

♪ Baby, what you trying to do?

♪ Baby, slow down

♪ Baby, now you're moving way too fast... ♪

- We'll get you to hospital. - TRISHA: I'm glad you're here.

- What's happened? - Oscar went after Vinny.

- How long ago? - A few minutes. Moorcroft Lane.

Right. I'll radio Mike. Tom, you stay here.

- Slippery little so-and-so, eh? - My ribs!

OWL HOOTS

You're far too generous, Oscar.

First a roof and now my ticket out of here.

Give in, Vinny. The police aren't far.

Then you'll understand if I take your car keys.

You're going nowhere.

Come on, Oscar, it's nothing personal.

I never wanted it to end like this. No hard feelings.

Just tell me one thing.

Why?

I got bored opening supermarkets.

Oh, I see. Is this the part where I invent

some pathetic, hard-luck story about being taken to the cleaners?

That gives you the right to steal, does it?

All's fair in business and w*r.

I just don't understand.

You had everything.

Money, fame, success.

Idolised by so many.

Wasn't that enough for you?

Success comes with trimmings.

Fast cars, fancy women.

Things which, I'm afraid,

I've grown attached to.

Now, look, I'd love to stand and talk all night but...

I need those keys.

Not on your life.

- Oscar, you stupid man! - And here comes the cavalry.

Better late than never.

My sentiments exactly.

Flippin' heck.

Hey...

Lucky we were out so late.

MUSIC: 'Rudy, A Message To You' by Dandy Livingstone

♪ You're growing older each day

♪ You want to think of your future...

Get in the car, please, sir.

♪ Or you might wind up in jail

♪ Then you will suffer

♪ Ah-huh-ah

♪ Rudy

♪ A message to you, Rudy... ♪

Well, I didn't see this coming.

Well...

seems like Vinny Sanders had a lot of us fooled.

Yeah. One thing still puzzles me.

Vinny's car. Should've left me for dust.

Ah.

Well, that's down to one man's handiwork. Our accidental hero.

OSCAR: What, David?

PHIL CHUCKLES

Thanks, Bernie. We'll be there.

Bernie Scripps. The diesel culprit's going to the garage

at one o'clock to get paid.

- Or so he reckons. - Here you are, Alf.

- Ta. - Phil.

Ta. Aye-aye.

WOLF WHISTLES

ALF: Oh, very nice.

- MIKE: What have you come as? - TOM: What do you mean?

- No-one's told you then? - Told me what?

PHIL: The cricket match - it's off.

We thought we'd have a whip-round for the children's home.

across. Railway beam in . Any ideas?

Oh...sleeper.

Oh, yeah. Sleeper. I hadn't thought of that.

- Is he in? - Yes, in a right stinker an' all.

Did he mention last night?

SHARP INTAKE OF BREATH

- Touchy subject. - You won't say anything?

He may go easy on me if he thinks I was in the toilet when Draper ran.

Our lids are sealed!

Nicholson, my office, if you would.

That's it then.

ALF: I didn't think he'd be so harsh.

Somebody had to go in the end.

- Hey, come on. Could be worse. - Worse?

What's worse than a whole week?

Two weeks?

Skates on, Nicholson. Don't be late on your first day.

Yes, Sergeant.

Nicholson. Aren't you forgetting something?

SONG: 'If You Gotta Make a Fool of Somebody'

♪ If you gotta make a fool of somebody

♪ If you gotta make a fool of someone

♪ Dear, you really can hurt me

♪ I'm the one that worries about you ♪