12x24 - Absent Friends

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss

♪ When my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss

♪ Stay in my memory? ♪

MUSIC: 'Hickory Dickory Dock' by Brian Gulland & Richard Harvey

- Can't bear to be parted, Linda? - Daft, isn't it?

Are you coming in?

No fear. I'm not a young wife.

- Neither am I. - Yet.

Oh, will you shut up?

Hello.

- Mr Punch, where's my baby? - Fell out of the window.

Fell out of the window?

What's he done with my baby, boys and girls?

ALL: Threw him down the stairs!

Oh, you wicked old man.

CHILDREN: Booo!

So you're looking after the garage while they're away?

If David can't manage. I'm looking forward to it.

I've always fancied a go on the pumps.

Oh, yeah? All those lovely lorry drivers?

Yeah. Oh, I think it's really nice of Vernon.

Bernie has been a bit glum recently.

He's always glum. He likes being glum.

But not as glum as the last week or so.

And Vernon thinks a weekend away is going to help?

Yeah.

No, a holiday away from Vernon, that might be best, I suppose.

PUPPETEER: Hello, hello, hello!

Hello, boys and girls. - ALL: Hey!

I am Police Constable Fixem.

Is there something funny going on around here?

CHILDREN: Yes!

Now, then. When you put the petrol in, the next thing...

Mr Scripps, I've done this hundreds of times.

Yes, but I haven't left you for three days. Now, go on. I'll watch.

Fill her right up, will you, David? Check the tyres, oil and water.

- The pressure gauge is... - I know! I do know!

Sorry.

Going on a trip are you, Mrs Jarvis?

With having everything checked, I just thought...

Keep your eye on what you're doing. It'll overflow at this rate.

- Bye. - Bye.

Bye. Thank you. - Bye.

It isn't like Linda to be late.

Maybe your mummy's got the time wrong, eh?

Come on, Bernard.

Is that it? - Yes, I think so.

Oscar...

It really is all right for Gina to help out, isn't it?

She'll be fine, Bernie. Don't you worry.

Just get in the car. Go on.

Keys! I haven't given him the keys.

Now what?

It's as if he doesn't want to go.

I can't say I blame him. - It's the way he is at the moment.

Since I got that money. It's just jealousy.

Still, he'll soon buck up when he sees what I've got in here.

A complete set of drawings for the rebuilding of the garage.

He knows I've been thinking about it,

but he doesn't know I've got this far.

I'll surprise him when we get to the hotel.

Come on, Bernard.

JENNY: This is fun, isn't it? Going home in Gina's car.

- BOY: Where's my mum? - She'll be at home, I expect.

I'll just be a minute.

Did your mum and dad say they were going anywhere this afternoon?

- BOTH: No. - JENNY: Is anyone there?

Hello?

Linda?

Peter?

Hello?

Hello?

Ooh, um... Dog?

No.

- Dustbin? - No.

- Door. - No.

- Oh, we give up, don't we, Beth? - Yeah.

- Drainpipe! My turn again. - Oh...

Hiya, Steve. It's Jenny. I'm up at Peter Jarvis's farm.

You couldn't do something for me, could you?

There they are! Hurray!

'Ey, stay there. Wait there a sec.

DOGS BARK

COWS BELLOW

I can hear that racket at my place. Why haven't those cows been milked?

Where's Peter and Linda?

Steve's going to check outside the hall again.

They should've picked the kids up two hours ago.

BERNIE: I don't think this could be right.

VERNON: Bernie, you don't find four-star hotels

on the main roads.

MUSIC: 'Come On Let's Go' by Tommy Steele

♪ Let's go little darlin'

♪ And tell me that you'll never leave me

♪ Come on, come on, let's go

♪ Ah, again, again and again

♪ Well, now, swing me, swing me

♪ All the way down there...

My word!

♪ Let's go, let's go, again, once more... ♪

- That was the whole farm, was it? - Aye. Every field.

Right. If they're not in the house, not in the sheds

and not on the land, where next?

You're the copper, you tell me.

What about relatives?

Miles away. Old Mr and Mrs Jarvis retired to Cornwall.

Her side's in Australia.

OK. Friends? Neighbours?

They keep themselves to themselves.

And there aren't any neighbours.

Only me.

- There's the cottage down the road. - That's just a holiday home.

- JENNY: Any luck? - No.

No sign of them, or the Land Rover. Did Phil get through to Alf?

- He's checking the local hospitals. - Eh?

Something must have happened to them, Mr Clegghorn.

It doesn't make sense otherwise.

No accidents involving a Mr or Mrs Jarvis?

Oh, no accidents at all. Right. Thank you.

Ventress. I thought you'd gone half an hour ago.

Er, yes, sarge. But I took a call from Phil just as I was leaving.

There's a couple from Aidensfield who've gone AWOL.

- Oh, yes? - A farmer and his wife.

I'm just seeing if there've been any accidents.

- How long have they been gone? - A couple of hours.

Don't spend too long on it.

There'll be a simple explanation. They are adults, I assume.

GINA: Come on, you two. Why don't you sit in here, eh?

Play with your toys.

We could put them to bed here. I don't mind staying.

It'd be better if they were somewhere else, I think, Gina.

It'd make a bit of an adventure of it. I've plenty of room.

I can help you.

If you have the spare room, I'll sleep on the sofa and...

Well?

There's no sign they were leaving.

Toothbrushes still in the bathroom, pyjamas still on the bed...

You'd better come, Phil. Mr Clegghorn's on about the farm.

This should be fun.

It's like they've just vanished into thin air.

Ssh.

Right, now, kids.

How about we pack some of your stuff and go to Dr Merrick's for a while?

Until Mummy and Daddy get back.

That lot's due to lamb.

They need feeding, watering and bedding up.

As for that lot, as you can hear,

they should've been milked hours ago.

Something's got to be done. We can't just leave it.

So, what are you suggesting?

I'm suggesting, Constable,

you might need to get your uniform dirty.

Well, this is very pleasant.

Yes.

Oh, look, Bernard.

Can't beat a good flambé, eh?

Yes. This is all most pleasant.

Course this'll be Wedgwood, you know.

Ah, yes. "Made in Stoke-on-Trent."

Vernon...

Oh, good. Carry on.

Oh dear, oh dear. Do I look like a mouse? Fill it up!

Service these days.

Oh, Vernon Scripps. This is my brother, Bernard.

MAN: Good evening.

We're in the art and taxi business.

Right, then. All nice and comfy?

This is a funny little book, isn't it?

This was Dr Merrick's when she was a little girl.

See?

There's her name in the back, there.

Where's my mum?

She and your daddy have been held up,

but they'll be back soon. OK?

Night-night.

- Now, The Story Of The Snow Goose. - Yes. But where?

Where is she?

CHORTLING

Here's another one. How d'you tell when you've had too much to drink?

He's a laugh, isn't he?

I give up.

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat!

D'you get it, Bernard? The back of your head...

- Yes. I think I'll turn in. - Nonsense. The night is young.

Oh, barman. Barman. Same again, please.

Oh... Here is my card, by the way.

"Senior Sales representative, Maxi Vax Vacuum Cleaners."

Oh, look at that, Bernard.

Very interesting. Yeah.

Night-night. Sleep tight.

How did you get there?

Liz sent me up.

Sssh.

We're still going out, aren't we?

- I can't, Dennis. - But Liz is here.

She is now, but she could be called out later,

and the children can't just be left.

I want to talk about this as much as you.

- Good. So when can we? - BOY: I want my mum!

I'm sorry.

Hurry up, Bernard.

Come on!

Don't put your light out.

Oh. Ooooh.

Put your light on. I want you to see these.

- What? - The garage plans, of course!

- I can't look at any plans now. - Why ever not?

I haven't got my glasses.

Bernard, you don't wear glasses.

You know, ever since I got that money,

you've been a right misery.

But there's no need.

I'm going to share it with you.

The garage is just the start.

Bernard!

I shall never sleep a wink in this.

We've got a visitor.

Hiya.

I'm sorry to call so late.

Me and Phil have only just finished at the farm.

You must be exhausted.

I am. I can't believe we've got to do it all over again in the morning.

That's farming for you.

I was hoping you had some good news.

Still no sign, I'm afraid. How are the kids?

Fast asleep.

Can I get you a drink?

No thanks, I can't stop.

Oscar's going to wonder where I've got to.

Who's been giving someone red roses, then?

Dennis Merton. But not for me, obviously.

Aaah. He's mad about you, Jen.

Honestly. - Yeah.

- What? - Nothing.

Come on.

Oh, go on. You'd better tell her.

OK, but this is just between the three of us, and I do mean that.

He's proposed.

Oh. When?

Last week.

What did you say?

She's thinking about it.

Oh, that's great!

MUSIC: 'He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother' by The Hollies

♪ It's a long, long road...

VERNON SNORES

♪ From which there is no return...

Vernon.

Vernon!

♪ Why not share

♪ And the load...

SNORING CONTINUES

♪ Doesn't weigh me down

♪ At all

♪ He ain't heavy

♪ He's my brother

STEVE: You're gonna be ever so late in.

Yeah, I know. Well, I'll be in as soon as I can.

You can cover for me.

Well, I'll have to, won't I? But Merton won't be too happy.

We can't help out indefinitely.

None of us can.

So you lot had better get your skates on and find Peter and Linda.

Which is why I'm gonna leave you to it,

while I get on with some house-to-house enquiries.

Thanks.

Come on. We can manage. Be a laugh, just the two of us.

Oh, and er... Mr Clegghorn, of course.

Oh. Aye.

Morning, David.

How's it going?

Er... Very well.

I'm making enquiries about Linda and Peter Jarvis.

They've gone missing, unfortunately.

- Missing? - Yesterday afternoon.

If you hear anything, if anyone mentions them or...

Yes, but she was here.

RAUCOUS LAUGHTER

Did you hear that one? Tell him, Trevor.

How d'you get a one-armed man out of a tree?

Wave at him!

Yes, I did hear the first time.

Oh, he's a card.

What's more, he's been telling me about the new round vacuum cleaners.

Vernon...

There's a mint to be made from 'em.

He'll fill you in later. - Your go, Bernie!

- Tonight? - He's joining us for dinner.

Come on.

Bernard, I'm sorry I haven't had a chance

to go through the plans with you,

but I can't turn an invitation for snooker down, can I?

Look, I'll go through them with you this afternoon, I promise. Go on.

Now, remember what I told you. Chin on the cue.

Look where you're aiming, and take your time.

What exactly are you implying?

If Linda was at the garage yesterday getting her car checked over,

could they have planned to go?

Oh, they wouldn't do that without making some arrangements.

Unless they had to go for some reason.

Like what?

Well, I don't know. Some sudden problem.

An illness? A debt?

I hoped this would resolve itself, but obviously not.

We'd better start taking it seriously.

Some of us already are.

The only lead we have, if it is a lead,

is David Stockwell seeing Linda at the garage.

Not a lot to go on. The farm abuts the moor, does it?

Yes, but Nathaniel Clegghorn says the Jarvises

have no reason to go there. They don't use it for their stock.

We'll have to organise a search anyway.

You could ask Oscar Blaketon

to round up some volunteers in the village.

Right, sarge.

While you're there, ask the local tradesmen.

See if the couple were running up any debts.

I'll see if the school knows anything. And where's Bellamy?

- Sorry, sarge. - Good grief.

Where have you been? - Didn't Steve tell you?

I've been up at the Jarvis's farm, helping Mr Clegghorn.

Take a bath before the place stinks like a midden.

MUSIC: 'Me And My Life' by The Tremeloes

♪ Mama, let me go, I don't want to stay...

Morning.

♪ Put your whip away

♪ I wish, I was away, away, away

♪ Hey mama

♪ Maybe I'm a loner but I've got to say

♪ Hey, I've got to try to break away...

Round here!

♪ Hey mama...

Underneath.

♪ Wouldn't I like to have my own mind

♪ Living on my own might work out just fine...

PHONE RINGS

One minute, sir.

Hello?

It's not difficult, David.

All you have to do is ring back in ten minutes

and say there's been a crisis there and I've got to come home.

HORNS HONK

Are you listening? David?

But there isn't a crisis. It's going...

I'm sorry. I'm going to have to go.

Oi.

Is anyone actually serving here? - D'you need a hand, David?

PHONE RINGS

Sorry about that, sir. I'll take that.

Right, then...

That'll be three pounds and shillings then, please.

♪ Mama, let me go, I don't want to stay

♪ Hey Daddy, put your whip away

♪ I wish, I was away, away, away

♪ Hey mama... ♪

Any news?

We're about to start a search on the moors.

It's a long shot, but what else can we do?

I was wondering if I could ask you a favour.

What?

Look at the Jarvis's medical records.

- Dennis! - I know they're confidential,

but we have two abandoned kids to think about,

and a menagerie... - Here they come.

Suppose they went away on purpose? Suppose there's a medical problem?

There isn't. Liz checked last night.

Hello!

Did you have a nice day?

Come on, then.

No chance of meeting up tonight, then...

Bernard, what's the matter with you?

Nothing.

I just don't want to spend any more time with your new pal, that's all.

Bernard, if you mean Trevor, he's a man full of fun and laughter.

He's waiting for us downstairs to go through the garage plans.

Just think of his stories. - I am.

They're dreadful. I can't stand him, Vernon.

I can't stand him and I can't stand this place.

I'm sorry, but I don't want to look at any plans.

Not here. Not anywhere. - But, Bernard...

I don't want to eat in that dining room again, either.

The whole place gives me the creeps. I mean it, Vernon.

I just want to go home.

We're booked in till Monday.

Oh, all right. Leave it with me.

Hello. You won't know me, but my name is Norma Weld.

PC Crane. How can I help you?

- I own the cottage by the Jarvis's. - If you've come about the search,

we're meeting at : by the garage.

You might need to wrap up a little warmer. It gets cold out there.

No, you don't understand.

I have information that might help the investigation.

Oh, I see. Well, in that case, you'd better come through.

Sorry about that. People have been knocking on my door all day.

I can imagine.

How can I help?

I live in Leeds. I visit the cottage when I can, mostly at weekends.

Once here, I'm afraid I'm a hermit,

which is why I've only just heard about Mr and Mrs Jarvis.

What is it you want to tell me?

It may mean nothing.

Nevertheless...

Well, OK. Mr and Mrs Jarvis have the most terrible rows.

Rows?

Shouting. Swearing.

It's him, of course.

I never hear her. He's obviously got the most dreadful temper.

- I see. - And then yesterday...

There was a row yesterday?

The worst ever. I was even thinking of calling the police,

but then they drove off past my cottage.

What time was this?

About four o'clock.

The Land Rover was going so fast I thought it was going to crash.

Both of them were in it,

and he looked about to commit m*rder.

RADIO: 'If anyone has seen Linda

'or a Land Rover with that registration, call us.

'And Linda or Peter, if you're listening,

'do get in touch.'

I can't be there for two hours. I've got my own farm to see to.

I don't know anything about calving.

You don't have to. All you have to do is watch.

Two front legs and a nose appear, leave it to nature.

Anything else, find me or call the vet. All right?

- You're joking, aren't you? - Good girl.

I don't believe this.

Phil! Here a sec.

- What is it, Gina, love? - We've got a calf to deliver.

Gina, I've got to go on a search.

Phil! I can't do it on my own.

You're not leaving me, are you?

Sorry, David. It doesn't look like I've got much choice.

MUSIC: 'Cowman Milk Your Cow' by Adam Faith

Mr Blaketon!

There's nothing out this way.

We're going to swing up towards the Beacon,

see if we can spot anything from there.

Can everyone swing up to the Beacon, please? Swing up to the Beacon.

A needle in a haystack.

♪ Cowman, milk your cow

♪ Keep away from the dark skies... ♪

DOOR CLOSES

Oh, thank goodness you're back, sarge.

We've had enough leads and sightings to keep us busy for a fortnight.

No luck with the search, I take it?

No.

Anything interesting here?

Er, well... It's hard to say.

This sighting at the Black Cat Transport Cafe...

You've got here a couple were seen having a row.

- Yes. - Well, wouldn't that fit in

with what Norma Weld told Crane about hearing rows on the farm?

It could. Except I don't believe her.

Linda and Peter are a devoted couple. Everybody says so.

Things aren't always what they seem.

Who knows what goes on behind closed doors?

PHONE RINGS

A pound each?

What did you give them that for? What is all this?

Ta-da!

Your dinner, Bernard, is going to be served...

al fresco. - What?

We're going to eat here in this room.

I owe you an apology, brother.

After what you said earlier,

I had a think and I realised I'd got it all wrong.

You see, I thought Trevor would cheer you up.

I thought he'd help us with the plans

for the garage and everything, but that's not what you want, is it?

Not really.

No. What you want is to be alone with me. Together.

And that's what's going to happen.

I've cancelled Trevor,

I've cancelled dinner in the dining room,

and at : precisely a specially-ordered meal

is going to be brought up here, with champagne.

In the meantime, we can have a good go at these.

I think I ought to have a bath.

Now?

Yes.

But you hate baths!

ALF OVER RADIO: 'Control to Delta Alpha -. Come in, please.'

MUSIC: 'First Love' by The Dave Clark Five

RADIO: 'Control to Delta Alpha -. Come in, please.'

Yes, Ventress. What is it?

Ah! Er... Sarge.

A couple of walkers have reported seeing a Land Rover

in the Blackrock Edge area late yesterday afternoon.

You have a contact number for these walkers, do you?

'Yes, sarge.'

Tell Crane to speak to them as soon as possible.

- Any luck with the cafe, sarge? - No. Wrong couple entirely.

I'll work my way down the list and see you later.

'Roger, sarge.'

Phil. It's amazing!

Yeah.

Us two being together like this.

That's been great.

Yeah. It has.

What's going on with me and you, eh?

I know.

It's mad, isn't it?

Yeah.

I'd forgotten how well we get on.

Well, when we give ourselves a chance.

What are you saying, Gina?

Well...

Why don't we give it another go?

It just feels so...

...so right?

Yeah.

I just came to say I won't be in in t'morning.

I've to take sheep to t'market. You'll have to manage yourselves.

By the look of things, you won't mind that too much.

Mr Clegghorn. Have you seen our calf?

Aye.

I told you you could manage.

ALL: Snap! JENNY LAUGHS

Mr Poaches is waiting for his prescription, Jen.

Oh. Sorry.

Right, you deal out the cards. I'll be back in a minute.

- And next time I'll beat you. - You won't.

CHILDREN LAUGH

I'm not sure how much longer we can manage like this.

Don't think we've got much option.

I know.

Have you spoken to them yet?

No, I was sort of hoping you might do it.

OK.

No time like the present, I suppose.

Now then...

Your favourite, Bernard. A nice steak.

Delicious.

It's raw!

Well, of course it is. That's the way you eat steak.

Steak tartare.

I think you're barking up the wrong tree, Dennis.

They're a pair of happy, balanced kids with devoted parents.

I asked them about arguments between their mum and dad

and they didn't know what I was talking about.

Right.

Any luck with the relatives?

Yes. His parents. The trouble is, they live in Cornwall.

What about friends here?

There must be someone to take the children in.

I thought you and Jenny were.

Yeah, we are. On a temporary basis.

But it's proving quite awkward with a surgery to run.

I understand.

Well, it's pretty awkward for everyone.

We could phone the Welfare Department

and see if there's a foster home available.

No. That won't be necessary.

Talking of which, I'd better go and rescue Jenny.

Right, Phil. I'll let him know.

Thank you for that, Dr Merrick.

I'll keep you informed. - Goodnight, Sergeant.

That was Phil, sarge.

He'll be late again. They're calving at the farm.

Great. Ah, Crane. Have you managed to talk to those walkers yet?

Yes. Not much to go on, really.

It's probably Tom Watkins they saw.

Clegghorn says he's the only person to keep sheep on that patch

and drives the same model Land Rover.

- Has Watkins confirmed this? - Not yet. He's not home.

Well, find out where he is!

We need to start making progress here.

VERNON: Very nice.

We'll wait, if you don't mind.

Never rush a good cigar. We'll phone down when we're ready.

- What's that? - Pud.

I'm starving.

All in good time, Bernard.

I can't do anything until I've had something to eat.

Oh, I don't know, Bernard. I'll phone down, then.

Can't we eat that? Whatever it is.

No, it's crêpe Suzette.

It's the flambé pudding we saw last night.

And no, you can't just eat it. They have to set light to it first.

Vernon, I want summat to eat, not a flaming bonfire!

No, don't call the waiters.

All right, Bernard. Don't panic.

I'll do it myself.

Should you be doing that?

Bernard, it couldn't be simpler.

Right. Watch this.

♪ I am the god of hell fire and I bring you

♪ Fire...

Vernon!

♪ I'll teach you to burn

♪ Fire...

Vernon!

♪ I'll take you to learn

♪ I'll see you burn ♪

Mr Watkins.

Evening. You haven't come with good news, have you?

I'm afraid not. It was you I was looking for, as a matter of fact.

Oh, yeah?

Two walkers reported a Land Rover on the moors yesterday.

Going like the clappers, they said, in the Blackrock Edge area.

Now, I know you keep sheep there, so...

No. It wasn't me.

Are you absolutely sure?

Aye. Apart from the search today, I haven't been over there for weeks.

I've no reason to. All my sheep are in for lambing.

It was someone else. - Thanks, Tom.

MUSIC: As Tears Go By by Marianne Faithfull

- Are they asleep? - Out like lights, poor things.

Oh, thanks.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Here's to you and Dennis.

All right, then. Here's to your decision.

May it be the right one.

That's the whole point.

Come on. What are your reservations?

Oh, Liz, I don't know.

I mean, for a start, do I really want to be a policeman's wife?

- What's wrong with that? - Lots of things.

The hours they work, the fact that it sets you

ever so slightly apart from everyone else, you know?

And... are we really compatible?

Well, you are very different, that's true.

Very, very different!

No, I'm an extrovert, he's an introvert.

I love having fun and he's serious.

But sometimes opposites work really well.

I know.

The trouble is, there's so much I want to do. Study, travel...

You can still do those things.

Not really. Not if I have children.

Does Dennis want children?

I've never actually asked him.

But I've explained everything. I've offered to pay the damages.

I don't care! They're giving us another room.

Vernon, I'm not stopping here a moment longer. I'm going home.

- What about our stuff? - I've got it all.

And the garage plans?

Will you shut up about the wretched plans? I don't want a new garage!

All right, ladies and gentlemen.

If I could have your attention, please, before we all set off?

Are you all clear which section of the moor your group is searching?

- ALL: Yes, sarge. - Good.

I know some of us have looked here before,

but this time let's make it %.

A Land Rover was definitely seen in the area at about the right time,

and it could have been Mr and Mrs Jarvis.

So let's be absolutely thorough.

Thank you all for coming out so early in the morning, and good luck!

MUSIC: 'Take Me To The Water'

I'll just be a...

Two gallons, please.

Oh, Mr Scripps!

It's all right, David. We had to come back early.

Yeah, Mr Vernon said.

Home sweet home.

Good to see you can't manage without me.

Aye, yeah. Sorry. It's been really busy.

With Mr and Mrs Jarvis...

Don't worry. It's good to be back.

PHONE RINGS I'd better answer that.

Then how about a nice cup of tea?

I wish Mr Vernon was in a good mood, like you.

How d'you mean?

He's standing around in his pyjamas being miserable,

and he's not talking or anything.

On second thoughts, would you hold the fort for a little bit longer?

Hello?

Hello?

DISTANT CRY

Ssssh...

What's that?

What?

It's a buzzard.

Hello?

DISTANT CRY

Hello?

DISTANT CRY

Come on.

It's a buzzard, Steve.

- What's going on? - He thinks he's heard something.

Vernon? This is silly.

Stop it.

This is why I didn't say anything before.

I knew you'd go into one of your sulks.

Look, it's not that I'm ungrateful.

Look, don't you want to spend the money on yourself?

This place, for example.

Don't worry about that.

We'll be moving as soon as I find a place grand enough.

The point is I wanted to help you, as well.

I was keen on that garage idea. I thought you would be, too.

Yes, I know.

And it's a very kind offer.

It's just...

Oh, it's all so exhausting.

Well, I'd do it all. I'd make all the arrangements.

Oh, it's not just the garage, it's the whole business.

If I've seemed a bit out of sorts recently, that's why.

What?

You having all that money.

I knew it! I knew you were jealous!

No.

It's knowing what's going to happen.

I can see it all. You're just gonna lose it.

Lose it?

Because you always do!

It's always so embarrassing.

I know it's not a very nice thing to say, but it's true.

It's been getting me down for years.

All those daft ideas.

Now there's going to be even bigger daft ideas.

I don't think I can face it. - No, no, no.

Bernard, you've got it all wrong. That was all in the past.

Yes. Because in the past I had to try my hand at things, didn't I?

I didn't have any money.

But I don't need to do that any more.

You don't?

Bernard, you're looking at a changed man.

- Really? - Really.

Promise?

Promise.

Hello!

Is anybody here?

Hello!

DISTANT CRY

Phil.

Linda, it's OK.

You're OK.

She's really cold.

Linda...

Where's your husband?

Where's Peter?

My leg.

We'll stay with her.

At least we've found one of them.

Oscar, you stay with her.

OK.

OSCAR: Well, it's easily done.

You take one of these slopes too fast, you can tip right over,

and if you end up in a gully...

You might never be found. Quite.

How are they, doctor? - Extremely lucky to be alive.

Tough hill stock, that saved them.

And being fit and healthy.

Give us a hand, would you, Phil?

Lift.

Well done, Crane.

Thank you, sarge.

What's the verdict?

A couple of broken bones, concussion, shock and hypothermia.

That said, they'll be fine.

Thank goodness for that.

How they survived two nights in the open, I do not know.

She tried to crawl for help, with a broken leg!

Could you imagine? CHILDREN LAUGHING

- You've obviously told them, then! - Oh, yes.

How are we going to manage?

Linda and Peter won't be out of hospital for at least ten days.

Oh, I think you'll find that won't be a problem. Come and see.

Come and meet my granny and grandpa!

They've come to look after us. - GIRL: And the farm!

Now we can go home!

Here we go, lads.

You can keep your haute cuisine, Gina.

This is proper grub.

Well, you can say what you like, Bernie,

but I think going away has done you the world of good.

I mean, look at you. You're actually smiling.

That's because he's come back.

Hiya, Phil! The usual, is it?

- Yes, please, love. - How's our calf tonight?

Fine. Peter's dad said we can go and see it any time we like.

- Aaah. - He's taken charge, has he?

You bet. Yeah. Couldn't wait to get stuck in.

Mind you, he did farm it for years.

What were Peter and Linda doing at Blackrock Edge anyway?

Chasing sheep, apparently.

Some ramblers left a gate open and a bunch of sheep got out.

Peter tried to get them back with his dogs,

but that sent them further. - You can't blame the sheep.

Peter's known for his language when he's with his dogs.

Peter and Linda had to hare after them in their Land Rover.

That reminds me, I must let Norma Weld know what's happened.

What, now?

Well, before it gets too late.

- So he is made of flesh and blood. - Pardon?

Well, she is quite attractive.

If people come forward with information...

Yeah, the wrong information.

The rows she heard were Peter shouting at his dogs.

It's important to keep people posted,

whether or not they're attractive.

- Right. - ALF: Give him time.

He'll see sense.

You know, I was really sorry to say goodbye to them.

I thought you were finding it a bit much.

No. I love children.

Have you thought yet?

I haven't had time.

Is that a no?

No.

If it was yes, you'd know without thinking.

Dennis, if I want to keep you waiting, I will.

It's every girl's right.

Now, ssh...

What I can't understand, Bernie, if the trip was such a disaster,

why have you come home so happy?

I've got Vernon to make me a solemn promise.

No more harebrained schemes.

Really? Now I see why you're smiling.

Yeah. Here's to a peaceful future.

Gina! Oscar! May I present Mr Trevor West,

my new business partner.

We want to show you an amazing new product

that could revolutionise pub management.

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