13x17 - No Hard Feelings

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? ♪

♪ Ha! Ha! Said the clown

♪ Has the king lost his crown?

♪ Is the night being tight on romance?

♪ Ha! ha! Said the clown

♪ Is it bringing you down

♪ That you've lost your chance?

♪ Feeling low, got to go

♪ See a show in town... ♪

Shop! Dozy old buffer!

What are you doing?

These people are here to provide a service. But do they? No.

Open when they like. Close when they like.

Darling...

- Is this a good idea? - What are we supposed to do?

Run out of petrol

because some dozy old mechanic's decided to knock off early?

♪ Wonder why I hit the sky

♪ When she blows me a kiss... ♪

Will you leave that to me?

Have you put towels in all the rooms?

It's all done. Now stop worrying.

How many are you expecting?

Full house, Bernie. Still, it's good for business.

I don't believe in sh**ting,

Poor little pigeons, what harm have they ever done?

It's clay pigeon sh**ting they're doing, not real pigeons.

Mr Scripps, someone's robbing the garage!

What?

Well, they're out there now stealing the petrol. I've just seen 'em!

♪ Close the show, wave the people goodbye

♪ Grab my coat, grab my hat, look that girl in the eye... ♪

They won't get far. I've got my bike round the back.

♪ What's your phone number? Stop fooling round

♪ Could have died, she replied, "I'm the wife of the clown"

♪ Ha! Ha! Said the clown

♪ Has the king lost his crown?

♪ Is the night being tight On romance?

♪ Ha! Ha! Said the clown... ♪

Mr Norton. Sorry we're a bit late.

Stopped off for a quick jar.

I'm Robert Emerson, Chairman of Ashfordly Young Farmers.

Welcome to Ashfordly Hall.

We'd be grateful if all competitors

would check their g*ns into the g*n room overnight.

Certainly. This is my sister Carol. She's in charge of all the kit.

- Hello. - And him too!

First time we've held the regional selection sh**t

somewhere quite so posh.

I hope we've got all the facilities to make your stay a successful one.

ROBERT: A couple of barrels, that should do it!

Come and have a drink.

Do you know, beats me why Merton volunteered us for this lark.

Stop complaining. Gets you out the house, doesn't it?

Gets you out of the house, you

You'll be an old, married man yourself soon.

- Is this where we check our g*ns? - Yes, sir.

If I could just see your shotgun certificates?

Cheer up, mate. It may never

Right, OK, listen up, everyone.

Girls will be staying at the pub.

Boys, we've found some nice, cosy and separate accommodation for you

just down the road.

Mr Norton will give you directions.

Can't I bunk in with you, Carol?

MEN: Wahey!

I was beginning to think you'd chickened out, Fisher.

In your dreams. Had to stop for petrol.

Oh, look here, my good man, this is getting beyond a joke.

I agree. Stealing petrol isn't funny. It's theft.

You're under arrest.

Oh, for goodness' sake, I didn't steal it.

A witness saw you taking petrol from the garage without paying,

so, yes, you did.

The garage was closed and I needed to fill up.

I left a note to say I'd settle with them later.

I think there's been a misunderstanding here.

Where did you leave this note?

On the petrol pump. What's the owner's name?

- Bernie Scripps. - Yeah, right, Scripps.

Look, I've been in there before.

If they don't know my name, they certainly know my father's.

I'll pay him tomorrow, OK?

Is that OK?

If he's telling the truth.

Come on. Let's get a drink.

If I could just draw your attention to the ablutions, gentlemen.

They're outside on the left. Be careful with the privy door.

The hinge is a bit loose.

LAUGHS

- There will be... - Are we actually paying for this?

We all agreed, cheap and cheerful.

Now, breakfast is included,

and my chef here, David, will take your orders.

This is a joke, right?

There wasn't enough room for us all at the pub,

so we deferred to the ladies.

We're the ones sh**ting tomorrow, not them.

- Worried, are you, Toby? - Not in the least.

I made it through to the final last year.

That was before Robert came home.

Practise much in London, did you?

He's still the best shot round

Care to put your money where your mouth is?

Yeah, I'll put a fiver on Robert.

- A fiver? - What do you suggest?

£ says I'm the one that'll go through to the final, not you.

It's all right for you, Toby. You've got your old man's money behind you.

Yes, I suppose you are just a poor sheep farmer.

A hundred, it is. And may the best man win.

I will. Right, I think I'll leave you boy scouts to it.

I have no intention of sleeping in a barn.

Found this note stuck to the pump. Says he owes me for ten gallons.

- At least he's telling the truth. - He still broke my padlock.

I say nick him anyway. A night in the cells will improve his attitude.

And who's going to baby-sit him? You?

Look, I don't want any trouble, especially from his father.

I just want the money.

OK. You're in rooms four and six.

Right. Sally, I'll share with you.

Well, I'm glad someone's in charge.

Once the lads arrive,

you might need an extra pair of hands behind the bar.

I'd be happy to help.

Bet you know how to keep them in order.

They're a bit like dogs, recognise authority from your tone of voice!

INDISTINCT CHATTER

They seem a decent enough bunch, David. Shouldn't be any trouble.

How am I meant to do all those breakfasts on my own?

Oh, you'll manage.

We've only got one frying pan.

David, the catering is your department.

I'll leave the practical details to you.

DOG WHIMPERS

INDISTINCT CHATTER

All right, I've only got one pair of hands!

You were lucky to get served.

They don't want to upset me. I'm the referee.

Lord Ashfordly must be pleased with you.

It's all about making the best of the estate's assets.

He's off for the weekend. I can't say I blame him.

He must trust you.

I'm a very trustworthy chap.

Can I buy you lads a drink?

There's no need. We're not going to nick your mate.

Look, I'm sorry about what happened at your garage, Mr Scripps.

He isn't, though, is he? The arrogant little so-and-so.

INDISTINCT

That should cover it.

Yeah. Well, yeah, but...

Can't you leave it to Toby Fisher to sort out his own mess?

I'm the chairman of the local club, not him.

I feel responsible.

I don't want them to think we're all hooligans.

Are you sure you should be rushing around like this?

I've got a pub full of customers, in case you hadn't noticed.

Yeah, well, I could help out.

At least in the kitchen. I could butter a few loaves.

You'll just get under my feet.

You've been like a mother hen ever since.

They said you should take it easy.

Look, I don't want to take it easy.

Stop fussing, will you? It's getting on my nerves.

Just what we need to soak up all this ale.

- I'd better make some more, eh? - Mm.

You all right, mate?

SIGHS

It's Gina.

She won't stop.

She won't be helped. At least not by me.

Well, she's been through a lot.

You both have.

Some days I can't get him out of my head.

You know, his tiny little hands.

He could squeeze your finger, you know?

Why don't you go home? Have an early night.

I'd give anything... I'd do anything, if he only...

...if he'd lived.

I know.

I don't know what looks more tasty, them or you.

Eh? Cheeky!

Come on, give us another!

Well, that's your lot. Right?

LAUGHS

Leave it, Phil. He's just had a

I'm fine. I just want to talk to Gina. All right?

- What was that about? - What?

You're too upset to give me the time of day,

but you can still flirt with some bloke.

What bloke? What are you going on about?

Come on, you can't deny it. I was stood there watching you.

SCOFFS

Phil, go home because I've had enough of this.

That'd suit you. Give you free rein to chat up whoever you like.

- I'm not your property, you know. - Yeah?

We are getting married.

Don't remind me.

What's that supposed to mean?

We were only getting married because of the baby.

And now he's gone.

So, you don't want to marry me?

SIGHS

I just want things to get back to normal.

You know, a wedding after all this...

It just feels wrong.

My shout.

All right, there, mate. Still looking on the bright side?

THUD

I'm not your flipping mate.

You got that?

I don't know what you thought you were playing at, Bellamy.

I'm really sorry, Sarge.

You're sorry? An unprovoked as*ault in a public house?

And you've the gall to stand here

as if butter wouldn't melt in your mouth.

They were being quite aggravating, Sarge.

I don't care!

What you did was totally wrong.

I know that, Sarge.

You'd better hope that Mr Emerson doesn't decide to prosecute.

Well, I don't think he will. He was pretty drunk.

I realise things haven't exactly been easy for you recently, Bellamy.

So, I'm not going to take any disciplinary action...

this time. - Thank you, Sarge.

Crane can cover the clay pigeon sh**ting instead of you.

You're confined to the station for the weekend.

Those filing cabinets in the duty room

could do with a proper sort-out.

Right, Sarge.

You're to stay away from the pub and those young farmers.

Do I make myself clear?

Right. What about this business outside the garage?

MUSIC: 'I Hate Getting Up In The Morning' by Johnny Kidd

♪ I hate getting up in the morning, baby

♪ When I've been dreaming of you

♪ The whole night long...

CLANGING

♪ The whole night long...

Rise and shine. Breakfast is

♪ I hate getting up in the morning, baby... ♪

He certainly gave me quite a whack, that copper.

You sure he didn't give me one too? Cos my head's k*lling me.

That's the beer, mate.

Oh.

You got any brown sauce?

Brown sauce? Certainly, sir.

Brown sauce, David.

I don't think we've got any.

Well, find some.

Come on, before his breakfast gets cold.

You find it!

What?

Honestly. It's just, cook, fetch, carry.

I've had enough.

Temperamental.

Mr Fisher?

I'm Sergeant Merton.

Presumably you've come here

to apologise for the outrageous behaviour of some of your officers.

I've come to discuss an alleged theft.

Not the vicious as*ault on Mr Emerson?

That is being dealt with. I'm not sure it's any concern of yours.

You don't deny you took petrol from the garage after it was shut?

I thought I'd sorted all that out with this fellow.

Well, now you have to sort it out with me.

And I'm issuing you with an official caution.

I don't care how rich you are or who your father is.

Breaking the lock on a petrol pump to obtain fuel is a crime.

If you do it again, you'll be prosecuted.

Do you understand?

Yes, I understand, Sergeant.

May I finish my breakfast?

Enjoy the sh**ting competition, Mr Fisher.

Sorry about the delay.

Small industrial dispute in the kitchen.

Well, I'm afraid we've got to go.

Waste not, want not.

DOG WHIMPERS

We've got a problem at the farm. Jack just phoned.

The ram's gone lame.

Jack's the shepherd. Surely he knows what to do.

He's a valuable animal. He doesn't want to be held responsible.

If you've got to go home and come back,

you'll miss the first heat.

That'll please Toby Fisher.

The farm has to come first, Rob.

I know. I don't need you to tell me that.

Clearly you do or you wouldn't be reacting like a little boy

who can't go out and play.

Always got to have a go, be the bossy big sister.

I kept that farm going when Dad was ill, when you were in London.

I didn't get days off to go sh**ting.

I know. I know. I'm sorry.

We've got a big enough vet's bill already

and we can't afford to lose that ram.

I bet Toby Fisher a hundred quid that I'd beat him.

Oh, Robert, why?

- Because... - He needs taking down a peg or two.

If I welsh on the bet, he'll still want his money.

Go to the sh**t.

- I'll sort it out. - Thanks, Carol.

I thought you were going to sort this lot out.

I am.

You haven't got very far.

Give it a rest. I'm trying to sort something else out.

Gina? Oh. Hello.

How are you, Phil?

MOUTHS

Oh, Phil, you've just missed her.

Yeah, we're doing the catering up at the Hall for the clay pigeon sh**t.

Yeah. It's a buffet lunch. I'm just helping out.

Pull!

g*nsh*t

Spot on!

Three out of three, Toby.

BELCHES

Excuse I.

Pull!

g*nsh*t

Oh, bad luck, mate.

We're only practising. It takes me time to warm up.

Face it, Toby, he's going to wipe the floor with you this afternoon.

We'll see.

I'm glad you decided to come.

How can I resist a lazy afternoon in the fresh air?

DON: I'm fine.

Dr Merrick, thank goodness you're here. Don's just been really sick.

You're right. I don't think there's much we can do ourselves.

I'll go and ring the vet.

Are you all right, Kev?

It's my gran. She died in the

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

Oh, yeah? Easy to say that now.

years she lived in that cottage.

Broke her heart leaving it.

She was an old lady.

She couldn't manage on her own anymore. There was no alternative.

Only because Robert wanted money to pay for his fancy car.

Your father'd never put her out.

- It wasn't like that. - Not much.

You can tell him from me,

he should've stayed in London.

ENGINE STARTS

Right, then. I'll leave you to it.

What are you doing this afternoon, then?

Well, if I'm lucky, nowt.

But if Mrs Ventress gets her way,

which she probably will, it'll be shops.

Well, you'd be better off here, then.

No one to bother you.

Aye.

Then do us a swap.

Alf, please.

Merton told you to stop here.

You'll get into even more trouble.

I'm already in trouble, with Gina.

I need to see her. I need to sort it out before she thinks I don't care.

All right.

But be it on your own head.

Thanks, Alf.

You're a saint.

Have you seen Alfred? I can't find him anywhere.

He's your flipping dog.

You all right? You look a bit poorly.

Oh, you've noticed, have you?

I reckon those sausages I cooked were definitely off.

Not the ones that I left on the side?

Oh, they had green mould on them.

Mould? You might have said.

You didn't give any to Alfred?

I'm the one that's ill. All you seem to be concerned about is your dog.

You were the one cooking mouldy sausages, not him.

Ooh! Oh!

Gina.

I'm really sorry about last night.

I was being completely stupid and I just wanted to...

Phil, we've got to face facts. It's never going to work.

You don't really mean that.

You're just annoyed at me.

And quite rightly so.

I'm not going to marry you.

But it's all arranged.

I'm sorry. I can't do it.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

There you go, love.

I reckon you owe me an apology.

What?

Look, I'm not a vengeful bloke, but I could have your job, you know.

Yeah? You can have another smack in the mouth

if you don't get out of my way.

Hey, come on, Phil.

Out of here now.

I just want to talk to Gina.

Later, mate. She's busy.

I can't imagine why she'd be interested in a nutter like you.

What would you know about it?

- Phil! - What would you know about it?

STEVE: Outside now.

Just calm down!

It's going to get easier, Phil.

It'll be OK.

How?

I've lost everything.

- It's been hard on him and Gina. - Pull.

g*nsh*t

I didn't even know they were a couple.

They're not anymore, apparently.

I don't want to take any action against the poor bloke.

Sounds like he's been through enough.

Thanks. I'm glad you see it that way.

Go on, have a go. You know you want to.

- Have you shot before? - Yeah, my dad taught me.

He was in the Army.

You see, I knew.

My dad loved sh**ting. Taught me and my sister.

Yeah? Pull!

g*nsh*t

Argh!

GROANS

GROANS

You're lucky. The b*llet has torn through some muscle,

but it's missed the bone.

ROBERT: It hurts like hell.

Couldn't see him. Completely disappeared.

What on earth is going on?

Maybe Toby Fisher's more worried about losing than he makes on.

Don't be daft. He wouldn't sh**t

Well, somebody has. Better go and call the station.

- I can do that. - Thanks.

You don't really think Toby would take a crack at me, do you?

Well, I don't see him anywhere around.

Do you?

♪ Here I go again

♪ Watch me now cos...

Phil.

♪ Here I go again...

Phil?

♪ I've been hurt so much before

♪ I told myself, yes I did

♪ No more, no more won't get hurt any more

♪ There I was all by myself ♪

Sergeant Merton's just come in. I'll tell him now.

He'll be out there straightaway.

Where's Bellamy?

There's a problem at the Hall, Sarge.

One of the competitors has been shot.

By accident?

No, it seemed to be deliberate.

And that's where Bellamy's gone, is it?

Are you covering for him, Ventress?

Sarge, he's had a terrible time. He just wanted to talk to Gina.

I've been very lenient with him. Nobody can say I haven't been.

I will not have my orders flouted.

And get this place cleaned up!

It's supposed to be a police station.

STEVE: Sarge.

Fill me in.

Robert Emerson was shot in the arm by an unknown assailant.

He was hiding in the trees over there.

I had a look round

and I found this.

A r*fle, then. Not a shotgun.

I'd say that was a point cartridge.

How is Emerson?

Winged. Dr Merrick's treating him.

I don't have to tell you anything and I resent the implication!

- Come on, let's stop this. - It was him that shot Robert.

It's obvious.

I'm not the one who threatened him. Everyone saw it.

- Who threatened Robert? - Your bully boy had a go at him.

- What? - Bellamy was upset with Gina.

Him and Emerson had words.

Words? You practically had to drag him out of the tent backwards.

Where is Bellamy?

I don't know, Sarge.

Find him.

I'm definitely out of the competition then?

Definitely.

KNOCKS AT DOOR

Come in.

Oh, my goodness, I just heard. Are you all right?

ROBERT: I just clipped my arm.

Who on earth would want to hurt

Exactly. It was probably just an accident. A stray shot.

From a r*fle?

Some of the lads had a skinful last night.

We were all just practising this morning.

They muck about a bit sometimes.

The practice should have been better organised.

The main problem is who'll replace me. I don't want to lose Toby's bet.

Is that all you think about? You could've been k*lled!

Do you want that smug so-and-so to go through to the finals?

No. But...

There's Don, but, quite frankly, I don't think he's up to it.

I hate to say it, old girl,

but I think it's going to have to be you.

Me?

You're easily as good a shot as I am.

Come on, you know you are.

Back me up, Dr Merrick.

Uh-huh.

The honour of the club is at stake.

You always find a way of landing me in it, don't you?

I bet Robert £ I'd beat him this weekend,

but I wouldn't be out of pocket if I lost twice that much.

Your pride would take a knock, though.

I take pride in only being interested in winning fairly.

What's the point otherwise?

So, where were you when Robert Emerson was shot?

There seems to be a consensus

that you weren't in the marquee having lunch with everyone else.

I was walking with my girlfriend.

You won't mind if I confirm that with her.

It's a little bit tricky, Sergeant.

Yes, so it often is.

Kate, my girlfriend, was in the marquee having lunch.

I was walking with Sally.

And who's Sally?

Richard's girlfriend.

Who's Richard?

He's a friend of mine.

I wouldn't want him to know about Sally and I...

- Going for a walk. - Exactly. Might get the wrong idea.

You know how people are. Wouldn't want to upset him.

If you indicate the young lady in question,

I will speak to her discreetly.

I would be very grateful, Sergeant.

You look like you've lost a shilling and found sixpence.

Yeah, I've lost Alfred.

BERNIE: He never goes far.

I think he's gone away to die.

What?

It's what animals do, isn't it, when they get poorly.

They find somewhere to hide and then they just curl up and die.

Well, what's wrong with him?

He ate some sausages that Mr Vernon cooked.

I know he's not a very good cook, but I don't think he'd k*ll anyone.

I've looked everywhere.

You'll give him a proper send-off, won't you, Mr Scripps?

He'll turn up.

Oh, you poor thing, Robert. Does it hurt?

I'll survive.

Don's flinging accusations about. I hope you don't think it was me.

Well, that's a matter for the police.

Look, I don't want to win because you were forced to withdraw.

You haven't won yet. If you're serious,

we could always transfer the bet.

What, me against Don?

You against Carol.

I've never heard of women taking part before.

Why not? Nothing against it in the rules.

I wouldn't want to sh**t.

I doubt if you could hit a barn door.

Fair enough. It's a bet.

Dennis, has Phil Bellamy turned up yet?

Crane's still looking.

You don't seriously think it was him, do you?

It's not the Bellamy I know, but grief does odd things to people.

- Listen, I did actually see... - ROBERT: Sergeant?

My sister's got something she wants to tell you.

- I'm really not sure about this. - It makes perfect sense to me.

An old lady who was until recently

a tenant in a cottage of ours has just died.

- It seems her grandson blames me. - He was upset, understandably.

Why does he blame you?

When my father left the farm to me last year,

there were considerable debts.

Carol had done her best to run the place,

but Dad was a bit old-fashioned.

I needed to sell the cottages to get the bank off my back.

You turned this old lady out?

She couldn't take care of herself anymore.

Carol found her a very nice place in an old people's home.

- When did she die? - Last night.

Her grandson came round this morning. He was very upset.

I see you have your undertaker's hat on today.

Old Mrs Clarke.

I'm just off to Aidensfield Court to collect the body.

Who made the arrangements? Her grandson?

Kevin. Not a bad lad. Is he in trouble?

Did he talk to you about the old lady's death?

Well, it weren't unexpected, but he were terribly cut up.

Any idea where I might find him?

He said he was going to get roaring drunk.

DENNIS: It's going to be quite some hangover.

But around one o'clock, he was definitely in the pub?

He propped up the bar from till I got some lads to carry him out.

I don't suppose Phil Bellamy's been in, has he?

No. I expect your wife will tell you,

so I'm not giving any secrets away.

Gina's decided to give him the elbow.

I've a feeling she's already done it.

Delta Alpha two-four to control, over.

ALF: 'Control receiving. Go ahead, Steve. Over.'

I've found Bellamy's car abandoned

on the back road behind Ashfordly Woods.

You'd better let Merton know. Out.

Pull!

g*nsh*t

MAN: Bang on.

APPLAUSE

Come on, old girl.

Pull!

g*nsh*t

Yes!

And that completes yet another clear round for Miss Emerson.

After it happened, I came in to phone you.

That's when I saw Phil. He was coming out of the g*n room.

I called out to him.

- And he heard you? - Oh, yes. He turned round.

Then he just sort of carried on. Disappeared outside.

There are a couple of r*fles.

These two. They belong to Lord Ashfordly.

I'll have to take these for ballistics examination.

Yes, of course.

Don't you think this is all a bit far-fetched? Can Phil even sh**t?

Yes. He seemed a bit gloomy when we were waiting for everyone yesterday,

so I suggested we sh**t a few clays to cheer him up.

He was pretty good.

Where can he be? It's all my fault.

No, it isn't, Gina.

He wouldn't just go off and sh**t a complete stranger,

even after what you'd said to him.

Would he, Dennis?

Did he have anything against Robert Emerson, do you know?

I don't know.

He thought I was flirting with him in the pub last night.

Still nothing?

No. His helmet was in the back of the car and key's in the ignition.

You can't seriously think Phil would get a g*n and sh**t someone.

I'm not sure what to think, Gina.

If he's had some kind of breakdown, who knows?

Thank you.

Oh, I don't know. It feels a bit hard to enjoy ourselves,

given the circumstances.

Well, the police will find him sooner or later.

The longer he's missing, the worse it looks for him.

Well, it's no consolation, but if he did sh**t Emerson,

I don't think he used one of Lord Ashfordly's r*fles.

Why not?

His Lordship's very particular about his g*ns.

He cleans them all himself.

The r*fles Merton took away,

I'd be very surprised if they'd been fired. They looked too clean.

Let's hope you're right.

I could get quite used to this, you know?

A glass of wine by a huge crackling fire.

Well, I wish you would.

I wouldn't want you to think

that I'm only interested in the trappings.

So, you are interested?

I think we've pretty much established that already.

Haven't we?

PHONE RINGS

That could be for me.

I'm on call I'm afraid, so I had to leave a number.

Phil!

Where the hell have you been?

I've been searching for you for ages.

I just went for a walk on the

I must've gone on for miles.

I just needed to clear my head.

I am pretty cold, though, mate.

Great. I'm starving.

KNOCKS AT DOOR

I hope you're ready for this.

As I'll ever be.

So...

the wanderer returns.

I can explain, Sarge.

That would be a start.

When Gina told me she didn't want to marry me,

it was the last straw.

I'd had enough. I needed to get away from everyone.

Why didn't you stop when Norton saw you?

Well, I didn't know what had happened,

the sh**ting and that.

It was a complete surprise to me when Steve told me.

I know I'd had a go at him, but he just kept getting in the way.

Every time I wanted to talk to Gina, I turned round and there he was.

But, Sarge, I'd have never taken a shot at him.

Well, what were you doing in the g*n room?

I just needed to get some fresh air.

You know, straighten my head out.

And a walk on the moors usually does the trick.

So, I was in the g*n room to get a waterproof and some hiking boots.

Do you know if the police have found out any more?

Not that I've heard.

Who do think could have done such a thing?

Well, to begin with I agreed with Don.

It's very convenient for Toby.

I get my right arm clipped, nothing too serious,

but I'm out of the competition.

You'd have to be a very accurate r*fle shot to manage that.

And Toby is. He's the only person who can sh**t that well,

and he's certainly desperate to

But I gather he was with someone else's girlfriend at the time,

and I don't think he'd admit to that unless it were true.

Lucky your sister's ready to step into the breach, then.

Yeah. I reckon we might still win, which is something, I suppose.

Pull!

g*nsh*t

APPLAUSE

When their father died last year, he left the farm just to Robert.

g*nsh*t

Not to both of them?

It sounds like he was very much of the old school. Sons inherit.

Daughters get married.

But Carol was running the place, wasn't she?

I treated Tom Emerson. He had a bad heart.

The last couple of years of his life he wasn't capable of working at all.

He relied entirely on his daughter.

And then her younger brother comes back from London

and gets everything.

- Pull! - I think I'd be pretty resentful.

g*nsh*t

- MAN: Cracking shot! - MAN : Well done, old girl.

There he is! Over there!

In the trees.

David?

What are you playing at?

I'm sorry, Mr Crane, I was just looking for Alfred.

You OK?

Yeah.

I'm, er, confined to barracks until this lot's sorted.

I'm really sorry, Phil.

No. No, don't be.

I'm glad you were honest with me.

There are better ways of telling you, though.

I don't think it'd have made much difference, would it?

I just need to keep busy. You know and...

Running the pub and having a laugh with the customers,

it just helps me forget a bit.

And being with me reminds you?

I suppose it does really.

I sort of think losing Daniel was a sign

that me and you were never meant to be together.

Look...

Gina.

Losing a baby's a terrible thing,

but people get through it.

They have other babies.

No, Phil. I could never go through that again.

It'd be too hard.

Well, later on you might feel different.

I doubt it.

Gina.

I will always love you, Gina.

And I love you too.

But...

We'll always be mates, won't we?

Yeah.

Of course we will.

Right.

I'll go.

Pull!

g*nsh*t

SIGHS

Thank you to everyone who's taken part.

It's been a wonderful competition.

And it gives me great pleasure to announce that the winner is...

Carol Emerson. Well done.

- Congratulations. - Thank you.

Through to the final, mate.

Three months' time, he'll be fit for anything, eh, Carol?

What do you mean?

DON: Robert's going for the national final.

I won, not Robert.

But you were just standing in for me.

Yeah, the club won. That's the important thing.

But it was me.

It certainly was. Well done, Carol. You deserve this.

And you deserve to represent us.

Thanks.

Mr Norton, surely it's the club who qualifies, not the individual.

I think it's up to the club chairman and officers of each club

to decide who represents them.

DON: Come on, Carol. You've got to be fair to Robert.

You were just a stand-in.

It's his show.

It's always his show.

LIZ: Let me talk to her.

Did you win, then?

I never win. Fill this up for me, Mr Scripps.

Carol, I didn't get a chance to congratulate you.

You should be congratulating my marvellous little brother.

SIGHS

I overheard the discussion. I do think it's very unfair.

No, it isn't. sh**ting is a boys' game. Like farming.

All my life I've had to stand aside for Robert. I'm used to it.

There you go. Hey, hey.

Carol.

It was you who shot him in the arm, wasn't it?

Carol!

You haven't answered me.

ENGINE STARTS

Did she say anything?

She didn't have to.

Dad bought me a new r*fle for my birthday,

just before he died.

Whenever I take it out of the

I always make a point of keeping it under lock and key.

Oh, that's funny.

Well, Carol must have...

...taken it.

What are you doing?

I'll give you a demonstration, shall I?

LIZ: Carol!

- Carol, stop it! - ROBERT: Carol!

Remember Dad's lighter, Rob?

He gave it to me because you didn't want it.

You don't smoke.

Neither do I. I was just glad to be given anything.

Carol, you can go to the final.

CAROL LAUGHS

I'm more likely to go to jail.

I tried to k*ll you. Haven't you figured that out yet?

You shot me in the arm. If you tried to k*ll me, I'd be dead.

I just wanted something. For me.

I know, old girl.

I have been stupid and selfish.

Dad should have left the farm to both of us. It's only fair.

But I'm going to speak to the solicitors, do something about that.

Oh, Robbie.

I didn't mean to...

Of course you didn't.

Warm water, honestly!

It'll help settle your stomach.

That's more than Alfred's been getting.

Oh, David, will you shut up about that dog?

It wasn't my fault.

David, come here.

I've been waiting for you to come in. Where have you been?

I was just...

Woke me up at two this morning, rummaging in the dustbins.

Do you feed him?

Alfred!

LAUGHS

Well, he was sick.

I never thought I'd see him again.

So, did Emerson sort it out with his sister, then?

MERTON: Well, he adamantly refuses to press charges against her.

She was lucky.

And she's not the only one. Eh, Phil?

Yeah.

You all right, Phil?

Yeah.

No hard feelings, eh?

LIZ: They're lovely.

I know it's a bit corny, but...

LIZ: Roses are never corny.

So, are you still working?

No, I've finished.

And I'm not on call tonight either.

Well, in that case...

...maybe we should...

...carry on where we left off, eh?