14x24 - Every Dog His Day

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss

♪ When my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss

♪ Stay in my memory? ♪

OWL HOOTS

DOG BARKS

I can see you, you know... and hear you.

Come out and show yourself, you damn coward!

I'll have the law on you.

DOG CONTINUES BARKING

Marigold, Marigold.

Come along inside, dear. Come on. Come along.

As I told PC Bell last night...

Er, Bellamy.

It's the third time this week.

Are you sure you're not imagining these things, Miss Plum?

PC Bellamy searched your garden and the road outside.

Is Marigold imagining things?

Dogs don't bark without reason, Sergeant.

Their hearing is far sharper than ours.

MUSIC: 'The In Crowd' by The Fourmost

♪ I'm in with the in crowd

- ♪ I go where the in crowd goes... - Fancy a drink, love?

- Oi! - ♪ I'm in with the in crowd

♪ And I know what the in crowd knows...

Bloody hooligans!

Perhaps if you put a more experienced officer

like PC Ventress on the case, we might start getting somewhere.

I can assure you, Miss Plum, further enquiries will be made...

Well, it's what we pay our rates for, isn't it, Marigold?

She was very frightened, poor thing.

Divisional inspection next week

and I'm being plagued by batty old women.

♪ I'm in with the in crowd

♪ And I go where the in crowd goes... ♪

I'm sure Your Lordship knows best,

but I can't say I'm happy about a bunch of young thugs

being given the run of the place.

Calm down, Mrs Kellett.

They're ex-offenders and they'll be very well supervised.

Eric, you made jolly good time.

You know me, Major. Don't hang about.

Long time since anyone called me that.

This is my housekeeper, Mrs Kellett.

BOYS CHUCKLE

Excuse me just a minute.

- I saw that bottle. - What bottle?

Don't make the mistake

of thinking you can pull the wool over my eyes, lad.

- All right? - Yeah.

The charity are very grateful for this, you know.

Most people pay lip service to the rehabilitation of young offenders,

but not if it's in their back yard.

I don't know. I get some cheap labour, they learn useful skills.

I think we can all benefit.

- You don't agree, Mrs Kellett? - Lord Ashfordly knows my views.

You see that lad? He prefers dogs to people.

He was taken into care at the age of three

after his old man broke his jaw.

I'm sure there's lots of sad cases in the world, Mr Grey,

but they don't all turn to crime.

Anyway, I'd best get back to the kitchen.

Mrs Kellett's a traditionalist.

I told Sergeant Miller the whole story

but I don't think he believed a word of it.

If there's a prowler in the village,

he should certainly take proper action.

I have influence and I have connections.

I made that quite clear to him.

But he's the sort of chap who if you challenge him,

just digs his heels in.

He can be very determined.

My father once had a butler like that. We had to get rid of him.

The important thing is you don't worry too much about this.

It won't do your angina any good.

Oh, please, don't give me any more pills.

I rattle like an old jam jar as it is.

Your current prescription's fine.

But you must avoid stressful situations.

My dear, I am not going to let some peeping Tom

put up my blood pressure.

If he comes calling again, he'll get my stick around his head.

Dorothy, do be careful.

Oh, Marigold will take care of me, won't you, my pet?

That bottle could easily have hit Gina.

I appreciate your concern, Oscar.

What does Ashfordly think he's playing at?

We've got enough hooligans of our own without importing them.

Personally, I think all this do-gooding is a waste of time.

However, the Chief Constable doesn't agree with me.

- So, you'll do nothing. - I'll keep a close eye on things.

Always a pleasure to see you, Oscar.

HE GRUNTS

I think you should all be grateful to his Lordship

for the chance to learn something useful.

Ah, yes, missus. I'm really grateful.

Tug my forelock, shall I?

Don't want that, do you, Muttley?

Hey, you behave yourself or you'll be eating in the yard with the dogs.

Ah, that'd suit Muttley, wouldn't it, Muttley?

THE BOYS ALL BARK AND HOWL

- Cheers. - The Green Howards.

- Best regiment in the British Army. - The lads who didn't make it back.

Dunkirk... Lest we forget.

You know...I do realise I would never have made it off that beach

if it hadn't been for you.

You were wounded, I just did my duty.

I think you did a bit more than that.

And, well, I'll always be grateful.

So, glad you stayed in after the w*r?

I didn't exactly have a home to come back to.

I forgot, you grew up in a children's home, didn't you?

Orphanage, they called it in my day.

The army was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Well, you certainly distinguished yourself.

Can't help thinking it would do these lads some good.

Your neighbours up the road, the place that's all shuttered up,

I think I knew someone who used to lived there.

The Bings have it now but they winter abroad. Caribbean, I think.

Come on, then.

He's probably in a bush waiting to jump us.

Nah, he'll be having dinner with Lord Muck.

He'll be three sheets to the wind,

boasting about all the Krauts they k*lled in the w*r.

Stone the crows, Muttley, what are you playing at?

Just went for a...

- Let's get going. - Where are you going?

Nowhere you need to worry about, Mutt.

All quiet on the Western Front.

Off you go.

Quick as you can.

Not on the grass.

Pint of best, love. All right?

Wouldn't you prefer another bottle of pop?

Don't be fooled by my youthful good looks.

Don't you worry, son, we don't intend to.

You must be two of the lads staying up at the hall, are you?

Hall? What hall?

We don't serve underage drinkers.

And we don't need any trouble from you either.

I'm sure someone else'll be happy to take our money.

Are you coming with us, then? Escape from this bunch of OAPs?

Er, I think I'll stay with the grown-ups, thanks.

OSCAR: OAPs!

Bloody cheek.

Come on, Oscar. They're just young lads trying it on.

- Oh, aye. - He's quite sweet, really.

Oh, give me strength!

Is there another pub?

We walked miles just to get here.

Time we got ourselves some wheels, then.

I thought we was just going out for a drink.

- Are you chicken? - No!

Then get in.

TYRES SCREECH

Marigold?

Marigold!

Oh, come along!

You really are being very naughty.

I'm surprised to see you, Mr Blaketon.

Why's that? It is my pub.

Yeah, but I've just seen your car drive off up the road at some speed.

You what? Who was driving it?

I didn't see. I assumed it was you.

If those ruddy hooligans have nicked my car, I'll...

What?

You're to come in this instant

or Mummy's going to be very angry with you.

Marigold!

OWL HOOTS

Oh, this is no time to play.

Now, be a good girl and come in at once.

Marigold!

Marigold!

Where are you?

Ma...

The two of them walked into the pub. I didn't serve them.

I sent them off with a flea in their ear.

Five minutes later, a customer walks in and tells me

that they've seen somebody drive off in my car.

Go on, then, Bellamy. Give him a hand.

Er, well, er... I haven't got my boots, Sarge.

You've got plenty of excuses though, haven't you?

Agh!

You'd better get Mr Scripps out with his tow truck.

HE WAILS

Come out of there, Younger, and stop messing about.

I can't swim!

Swim? It's only six inches deep.

- Agh! - Bellamy!

Hang on, Alf.

Help me up!

I don't know what to do.

I sat up all night waiting for her.

Have you eaten this morning?

No.

Dorothy, you must eat and you must sleep

or you'll make yourself seriously ill.

Why doesn't she come home?

Something dreadful must have happened to her.

She's probably gone off chasing rabbits or something.

She'll come home when she's hungry enough.

Do you really think so?

Dogs run off all the time.

Not Marigold.

She's not the bravest of souls. What if someone's taken her?

Who on earth would want to do that?

I don't know.

I appreciate what you're saying, Miller,

but I still think the whole thing could be a coincidence.

They're refused service in the pub

and five minutes later, the landlord's car is stolen?

Right. Brushes down.

In a line in front of me...now!

This is Sergeant Miller.

He wants to ask you a few questions.

We hear that two of you

were refused service in the Aidensfield Arms last night.

- Who was that? - MR GREY: Two paces forward.

MILLER: I can easily get the landlord down to identify you.

Sergeant?

I don't condone underage drinking but the fact they were seen in a pub

doesn't make them car thieves.

Then they've nothing to fear by owning up, have they?

Except for the prejudiced assumptions of the pub landlord.

Just because the car was stolen five minutes later,

doesn't mean that they did it. Anyone could have taken it.

Eric's right, you're jumping to conclusions. Where's your evidence?

Milord, I am merely trying to pursue a line of enquiry.

And I am trying to teach these lads that the law is impartial

and doesn't condemn a man on his past record. It sticks to the facts.

Right, then. That's what we'll do.

Right,

get on with it.

Not you. Come on.

Agh! You're hurting my neck.

I should snap your miserable neck. Now you pay attention, boy,

cos I will not tell you again.

You rock the boat one more time

and the law, the law will be the least of your worries.

- Understand? - Yeah.

Agh!

Don't confuse me with them.

I'm not interested in their rules.

I've got a few of my own.

You cross me one more time, I'll...

I'm sorry, ladies, I simply do not have the manpower

to go chasing round after a lost dog.

I suggest you ring the dogs' home.

What if she isn't lost? What if she were taken?

How do you mean, taken?

Kidnapped.

You think your Pekinese has been kidnapped?

Miss Plum has had a prowler in the garden.

It's not beyond the bounds of possibility.

And have you received a ransom note?

I knew this was a waste of time.

You are what my late father would have called a jobsworth, Sergeant.

There's no need to be offensive.

It's thanks to people like you that this country is going downhill.

I'm perfectly all right.

I do think you should take what she's saying

a little more seriously, Sergeant.

Dr Trent, I have one officer on leave,

I have a bunch of Borstal boys running riot

courtesy of Lord Ashfordly

and I have a divisional inspection next week.

What I have not got is time for batty old women.

She may be forthright

but I can assure you her mental faculties are intact.

What concerns me is that an old lady with angina

is being put under severe stress.

Not by me.

She's got plenty of money. Hire a private detective.

SHE SIGHS

All I saw was the car drive off.

Well, you didn't see who it was, then?

SQUELCHING

Was that you?

Are you having problems again?

No!

Hm... No, the thing is, mostly, you see what you're looking for.

I mean, you, as a policeman, ought to know that.

I presumed it were Mr Blaketon.

Went in t'pub. Well, you could have knocked me down with a feather.

SQUELCHING

Eat more slowly. That should put a stop to it.

Right... Well, thanks for your help.

SQUELCHING

It's you, isn't it?

You're squelching!

Oh... SQUELCHING

Yes... Er, sorry about that. Got my feet wet.

Agh!

You grassed, didn't you? Told Eric you saw us going out last night.

- No! - You keep your gob shut in future

or you're a dead man. You got that?

Yeah.

You're never going to eat those now, are you?

No.

What are you going to do with them, then?

Nothing!

What are you up to, mutt?

Nothing!

Get off, please!

Get off! Get off! All right. She's in here.

Where'd you get that?

She's mine.

She's called Lassie.

There you go.

Yeah, Oscar does do private investigating every now and then,

him and Alf Ventress. - Perhaps he could help Miss Plum.

Private investigating? I'd like to see that.

They've had their successes, Mr Blaketon and Mr Ventress.

I wonder what dastardly villains they're after next, then.

- You know Miss Plum? - Miss Plum?

She's lost her dog.

Not that horrible, yappy little Pekinese?

Oscar, Marigold's more than just a dog to her.

She's more like a surrogate child.

What worries me is that someone's been prowling about.

You should call the police.

Try telling that to Sergeant Miller.

He thinks she's just a neurotic old lady who's imagining things.

I don't agree. She's very well off. She lives alone.

Some con artist could well have identified her

as a potential target.

Well, perhaps Sergeant Miller could do with a lesson or two

in detective work.

Come on, lad. Sup up. We've got things to do.

Wh...

This is the best one of her that I have.

Oh.

That'll do nicely.

Yes, we'll have a poster made up and let you have this back.

It's such a relief. Finally, to have someone taking this seriously.

The thought of poor Marigold out there somewhere...

The offer of a small reward for information might help.

- We could put it on the poster. - Good idea, Alf.

£ ?

Oh, that's a bit steep. It might attract the wrong sort of people.

Money doesn't matter to me. You can make it if you like.

I just want her back.

It's very kind of Alf to lend me his old uniform trousers

but they are a bit big.

You'll grow into them.

Now then, Bernie. I see you've managed to get it back, then.

Brakes and exhaust need to dry out but there's no real damage.

Well, Miller wants it checked for fingerprints

so we've got an officer coming over from HQ.

How long will that take? I told Oscar he could have it back.

Well, Sarge wants some proper evidence against these lads,

so Oscar's just going to have to wait.

I don't fancy telling him that. Maybe you could.

Right, come on.

Is this the new fashion, then?

Oh, er... No, er... I had a bit of an accident.

Oh!

Oh, no, not that sort of accident. I don't mean that.

- Oh. - We were trying to move the car.

Oh.

Should have waited for the professionals, shouldn't you?

quid just for a dog?

Well, the old lady's very fond of it.

HE SCOFFS

You're not as daft as you look, are you?

I bet you know where she lives an' all.

Go on.

Just go and get it.

MR GREY: Right, come on, lads.

Alan!

MUSIC: 'Do the Dog' by Georgie Fame and The Blue Flames

Donnie the dog man, that's what everybody calls him.

Once sold your Uncle Herbert a racing greyhound.

- Made a fortune from that dog. - Why? Did it win a lot of races?

Actually, no. It lost every one. But thanks to Donnie, on paper,

it had a pedigree as long as your arm so we made money on stud fees.

'Ey up!

Peggy Armstrong! By 'eck, it's been a while.

Donnie, how's tricks?

I don't complain. When I do it doesn't do me any good.

This is my nephew, David. Show him t'picture, David.

Now, we want one of these, a bitch.

A Pekinese?

You're not thinking of racing one of these? They've got very short legs.

As near a match to that one as you can manage.

Oh, and the budget is five quid.

SHE MURMURS

CLATTERING

THUD

What the blazes do you think you're doing?

Oh!

SIREN WAILS

I really think a stay in hospital might be a sensible precaution.

I've had my pills. I'll be fine.

KNOCK AT DOOR

That'll be the police. I'll let them in.

I wonder what excuse

Sergeant Miller's going to fob me off with this time.

Believe me, he won't or I'll report him myself.

I think I owe you something of an apology, Miss Plum.

Nice to hear you admit it.

Have you had a chance to look round yet? See if anything's missing?

She's been recovering from an angina attack.

I see. Bellamy, go and check out the back, will you?

Right, Sarge.

I don't suppose you got much of a look at him?

I didn't see his face. There wasn't enough light.

What about his build?

Was he a full-grown man or might he have been a teenage lad?

It's hard to say. He just pushed a stool at me

and then he was gone.

I'm sorry you've been put through all this, Miss Plum.

But we'll catch him, don't you worry.

And, er, you'll detail an officer to keep an eye on this place.

Yes, indeed. Resources permitting. But I doubt if he'll be back.

What do you reckon, then?

I'm not sure it's the right colour.

It's Pekinese colour! What colour did you want?

Well, more sort of... I don't know!

I think one looks much like another, if you ask me.

There was no mention about colour. I've been to a lot of trouble.

Don't fret, Donnie. We'll take it anyway.

There are one or two incidentals over and above the agreed price.

Like what?

Expenses. bob.

bob? I thought we were friends.

We are. Anyone else, it'd be a couple of quid.

I've had a scene-of-the-crime officer here all morning

and then PC Younger helped to sort things out.

I saw him outside.

I think Sergeant Miller must be feeling guilty.

Well, so he should.

Well, this doesn't look too bad, then, does it?

It feels...

Well, it feels most peculiar.

But, I've lived in this house for years, ever since my father died.

I am not going to be frightened out of my own home by some yob.

Has much been taken?

No! All that appears to be missing is a photograph album

and an old tin box full of family papers.

My jewellery was upstairs.

Well, you must be grateful for that, then.

What about Marigold?

Er, well, there's no news, I'm afraid.

We've checked with every vet and kennel in the county, though.

Someone's taken her. I know they have.

In that case, you'll be getting a demand for a ransom.

It may be those people who do experiments with animals.

- They generally stick to rats. - Or some religious cult.

Well, most people round here are C of E.

You think I'm being ridiculous, imagining the worst.

She'll turn up.

Shall I put the kettle on?

What a good idea.

Midnight ebony. Are you sure this is the right colour?

Well, it looks all right on the colour chart.

So, how much do I put in?

All of it.

Right, come on, then, Poochie.

It won't be that bad.

Then you've the life of Riley to look forward to.

There we are, then.

I'm not criticising Mr Grey in any way.

Your scheme has our full support, as you know.

But one man can't keep his eye on six young folks, hours a day.

- It's too much to expect. - Are you sure it was one of them?

First, a car is stolen and now a break-in.

Well, you're right. It could be a coincidence.

The last thing I want is for the charity to be seen

to be promoting crime in the area.

My purpose is to simply separate the innocent from the guilty.

No one will be happier than me

if we could eliminate these lads from our inquiries.

Listen, why don't you leave them alone?

Eric, I think what Sergeant Miller is proposing is eminently fair.

We simply give him the names and details of all your lads

so he can check their records.

Do I have any choice?

Dorothy?

Dorothy?

Marigold's been found.

Wh...

M... M... Marigold?

This is Mrs Armstrong.

We found her.

Well, well, you know our David. Come on. Drives you in his taxi.

He recognised her immediately, didn't you, love?

Er, yeah, yeah.

We saw the poster so we brought her home directly.

That's not Marigold.

Yes, it... Yes, it is.

You're probably not feeling yourself. I heard...

I know my own dog.

That is not Marigold. That is an imposter.

Not to mention a very peculiar colour.

David, you knew Marigold.

Is that anything like her?

Well, er...

Now I understand why Oscar Blaketon was against offering a large reward.

It was an invitation to all and sundry

to take advantage.

We were only trying to help.

I'm sure you were.

I'm sorry, Dorothy. I thought...

It's not your fault, dear.

DOOR CLOSES

Aren't you eating, boss?

Huh? There's something I need to do.

Just make sure this wall is finished by the time I get back.

It'll take ages!

Hey, look!

He took Muttley with him.

What doesn't make sense to me is why a young teenage lad

should break into an old lady's house.

And what did he take? A photo album and an old tin box.

He must have thought there were some valuables in the tin.

It was just old family papers.

There was far more valuable stuff just laying round.

I hear you're looking for a dog.

It says on the poster, quid reward for information.

- Contact Mr Blaketon at the pub. - You've got information, have you?

- Have you got quid? - I wasn't born yesterday.

Meet me in an hour. Crossroads before you get to Ashfordly Hall.

You bring the money and I'll bring the dog.

What are you playing at?

I was just having my sarnie in the back.

Cos they always nick my dinner. Sorry.

You have got to learn to stick up for yourself, lad.

I try. Then I get hit.

Maybe I should teach you a few moves.

Oh, yeah! Will you?

Look at this place.

Luck of the draw, eh? Where you're born, who your mum and dad are.

Why are the windows all closed up?

People who own it have gone to the Caribbean for the winter.

How... How do you know?

They're er...friends of mine.

Get in.

I don't do refunds! Especially if the goods have been tampered with.

- It'll wash out. - I've only got your word for that.

- It's only hair dye. - Peggy, I'm a businessman.

What kind of market do you think there is

for Pekinese that's been dyed black?

Oh, come here.

DOG YELPS

Come on, you. Get in.

There we go.

Yes.

Alf... I think we've been had.

I did wonder if it was a load of old tosh.

Well, maybe not. Let's see if we can find the lad.

- Excuse me. - Ta, love.

What happened to your lip?

There they are, or most of them.

Oi! I thought we had an arrangement.

What happened to you?

Nothing.

You told us you had the dog. So, where is it?

I don't know. I were just trying it on.

Who hit you, lad?

No one. I fell over.

That cut looks a bit nasty. Has Mr Grey seen it?

Dorothy?

♪ Please...

- Dorothy? Dorothy? - ♪ Open your eyes

♪ Try

Dorothy?

DOOR CLOSES

- ♪ To realise... - Is everything all right?

No, I don't think it is. Have you seen Miss Plum?

She was here ten minutes ago.

I just popped out to get some chips.

She were going to make me a cup of tea.

Check upstairs.

♪ I

♪ Found out today

♪ We're going wrong...

She's not upstairs.

- What's that? - I think it's Marigold's collar.

Well, perhaps Miss Plum just decided to go out.

Without her walking stick?

Or her angina tablets.

Wherever she's gone, I don't think she went of her own accord.

♪ We're going wrong. ♪

- I did ask you not to interfere. - He said he could get the dog.

Clearly, he was lying.

Well, it's not as simple as that, Sarge.

Somebody put the fear of God into him.

Alan Cameron. That's the lad you're on about.

I've had his record sent through.

He will nick anything that is not tied down

and he's not fussy. His prints are all over you car, Oscar.

Sorry, Sarge.

I've got Younger on the phone. He's in a bit of a panic.

He reckons Miss Plum's gone missing.

Missing?

Where's Marigold? Why have you brought me here?

You do know where you are, then. I was beginning to wonder.

Well, of course I know.

It's the house where I grew up.

Ah! Aren't you pleased to be back?

Where's Marigold?

You're not really what I was expecting.

Wh... Who are you?

How much do you want? I'll pay whatever you like,

only please, give me Marigold.

Come on, Alan. Where's the dog?

I don't know what you're talking about.

I'll go and find Eric. He'll soon talk some sense into him.

No! Just nick me, will you? I took the car. I put my hand up.

Just get me out of here and put me in a cell.

Did Eric do this to you?

Nonsense!

He's a complete nutcase. He'll k*ll me!

Where's Eric now?

He's all packed up. Ready to go.

This really doesn't make any sense.

I served with Eric. We were at Dunkirk together.

Only , but he was mentioned in dispatches.

Sarge!

Photograph album.

That's what was stolen from Miss Plum's.

- Did he mention her? - Miss Plum? No.

Marigold!

Oh, my poor darling.

Oh. Ooh...

- Are you all right? - Course it's all right.

It's been eating its head off.

What do you want?

I just want the answer to one question.

Then you can go home.

- Those are my photographs. - I want to know who my father is.

You see, there are pictures here of various young men.

I wondered if it was perhaps him.

He does look a bit like me.

What's your name?

Eric... Eric Grey.

Bit unimaginative, I always thought.

But then, orphanages generally were in those days.

What did you call me when I was born?

I don't remember.

This could have been my home.

You gave up your newborn son. You dumped me in an orphanage

but you don't remember.

I had no choice.

No choice?

He was taking kitchen scraps but I thought he was feeding our dogs.

It's er...Tommy, isn't it?

Yeah.

Do you know where Eric is?

It was him who took the dog, wasn't it?

He... He said if I t...took care of it right

I could keep it.

So, he broke his word to you, did he?

I think you do know where he is. You see, I reckon

if someone breaks their word to you, you're entitled to be angry.

I know I would be.

We... We went to this big house down the road.

It was closed up. He said he knew the owners but I know he didn't.

Good Lord! The Bings'. He asked me about that house when he arrived.

I was barely in my twenties.

I had no money of my own. I knew nothing of the world.

Or of men, as it turned out.

Who was he?

He was a business associate of my father's.

In his forties.

Married with a family.

Did you love him?

Yes!

Yes, he was fun.

He used to come to the house quite a lot.

We played tennis in the summer. He was a great raconteur.

My father wanted to know who it was, of course.

And when I told him... he accused me of lying.

Told me I was a devious slut.

What... What was his name?

It was Desmond.

Desmond Faulkner.

I never saw him again.

I think... I think he died just before the w*r.

Died.

Ooh.

- Are you all right? - Mm... Yeah.

I suffer with angina.

♪ How can I tell you that I love you?

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I... You know, I wanted to keep you, desperately.

But I was too young and...too weak.

I couldn't fight them.

♪ I long to tell you that I'm always thinking of you

♪ I'm always thinking of you... SIREN WAILS

- Where is she, Grey? - Just get an ambulance, quick.

DOGS BARK

Quiet!

DOGS CONTINUE BARKING

Oi, stop it, you two, or you'll get no breakfast.

BARKING CONTINUES

I've just about had enough of this.

I hardly got a wink of sleep last night with them two dogs barking.

What are you doing?

No!

Well, then do something about it before I go mad.

♪ Whoever I'm with

♪ I'm always, always talking to you...

- What's the verdict? - She survived the attack,

but she's frail.

I brought him along, as you requested.

She'd like to see you first.

Sergeant Miller's here, Dorothy.

I don't want any action taken against Mr Grey.

I can fully appreciate how you feel, Miss Plum.

I don't think you can.

I abandoned my son at the beginning of his life

and I am not going to abandon him now.

In the end, it's up to you as to whether you want to press charges

but he is still under arrest for breaking and entering

and also faces possible charges of as*ault

against a minor in his care.

Then I shall find him the best solicitor that money can buy.

Can I see him now?

Of course.

♪ I need to know you

♪ Need to feel my arms around you

♪ To feel my arms around you

♪ Like a sea around a shore...

How are you feeling?

Not bad.

I hear you're an army man.

I was. I served in the Green Howards during the w*r and after.

Good regiment.

Both your grandfather

and your great-grandfather were military men.

I'd like to tell you about them.

♪ How can I tell you

♪ That I love you? ♪

I'd like to hear.

Pekinese? What do I want with one of them?

- They're very affectionate. - They're not. They're horrible.

Don't look at me. My dad's sheepdogs would think it was their dinner.

New trousers.

Wow!

Oscar, just to let you know you can have your car back now if you want.

What about that hooligan? Will he get what's coming to him?

Cameron?

Yeah, he'll be charged and sent back to his probation officer.

Who will no doubt mollycoddle him.

I don't suppose you want a dog, do you?

It's a nice little Peki... No, of course you don't.

A Pekinese?

- Mm. - You're giving one away?

I'm trying to. Otherwise my Auntie Peggy is going to sh**t her.

Yeah, all right. I'll take it off you.

Well, go on, then.

Sorry, it's a bit of a funny colour.

She's great. You mean I can just 'ave 'er?

Keep her? Me own dog, like?

Yeah, she's all yours.

So er...what are you going to call her, then?

Her name's Lassie.

That'll be seven quid you owe me, Constable.

Well...you can't put a price on happiness, can you, lads?