15x09 - Blood Brothers

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? ♪

MUSIC: 'Without You' by Manfred Mann

♪ Just a hunk o' steel

♪ Yeah, and just a plank o' wood

♪ Give a little bit of bad luck

BARKING

♪ Mm, just a bit o' good...

BARKING

♪ With this life of mine

♪ But you know I'm so sad, baby...

Argh!

BEEPING HORN

♪ Oh, yeah... ♪

You took your time.

We're off school. No rush.

What're you up to?

I just dropped somebody off back there.

If you're going back to the village, how about a lift?

Ooh, don't know about that, Martin.

You see, taxis don't give lifts, they take fares.

But you haven't heard my offer. A one-hour borrow?

Get in.

MUSIC: 'Sunshine Of Your Love' by Cream

ROB: Yes, sir?

I want to see the sergeant.

- Can I tell him what it's about? - Yeah, a dog bite.

You want to see the sergeant about a dog bite?

A very dangerous dog, yes.

I see. Well, dogs are generally not his department.

This one will be. It's Lord Ashfordly's.

And I want to see it put down.

It's been a while since we've seen you, Vince.

Yeah. I've been living away.

How's Brenda?

You tell me. Same as usual, I expect.

I'm only back here to see my lad, Martin.

Oh, right. Sorry, I didn't know you and Brenda had split up.

That's the way it goes. Same again, Oscar.

Where's my favourite barmaid?

She's in the snug, hanging paintings for an exhibition.

OSCAR: She's gone all artistic since you were here last.

Gary asked us not to hang his painting next to Linda's.

A clash of styles, he said.

Perhaps you should put yours next to it.

No. I'm not going to put mine anywhere.

Why not?

Because it's not ready yet. It needs more work.

- That's just funk. - No, it isn't.

Look at the others. I'm not blind, you know.

Neither am I. You're all beginners, more or less.

And your work more than holds its own.

Yeah, but what if mine's the last painting left unsold?

It's not going to happen.

You wouldn't let me make a fool of myself?

No!

Terrible, that!

Hey! Watch the van, birdbrain!

MARTIN: Mum! Dad's here.

Hiya. How've you been?

All right.

What's he doing here?

Sorry about the stone. I was trying to hit the cans.

I doubt you could hit a cow's backside with a banjo.

- He usually beats me, anyhow. - He's had more years to practise.

Any road, David, don't want to keep you.

Yeah, I'd better be off, eh?

- See you. - Yeah, see ya.

Is he the best company you can keep?

MARTIN: I like him.

He's a half-wit, Martin. Stick to friends your own age.

- To what do we owe this pleasure? - How're you keeping, Brenda?

Not very well, on the money you're sending.

Full of fight, as usual.

- Can Dad stay for something to eat? - No. I've nothing in.

- MARTIN: We could go to the chippy. - Good thinking, son.

See what's in your mother's purse and we'll be off.

WOMAN: Sergeant Miller, my lord.

Thank you, Mrs Cameron. Come in, Sergeant.

What can I do for you?

I've received a report about a dangerous dog, my lord.

Ah, a sheep-worrier, I assume?

Damned nuisance, and only one cure, I'm afraid.

No, not a sheep worrier. Not at the moment, anyway.

Oh? You know the owner?

Yes, my lord, it's you, and that, I think, is the dog in question.

Jack? There must be some mistake.

Not according to your window cleaner.

Are you aware that he was bitten this morning?

I might have heard something of the sort.

I know Jack can be a bit territorial from time to time,

but I'm sure it was nothing more than a playful nip.

Mr Turner needed medical treatment and a tetanus jab.

Oh. So, what's he looking for? A new pair of overalls?

He may indeed make a claim, but for us

we need to investigate the incident and take the appropriate action.

- Action? - Against yourself, my lord,

for failing to keep your dog under control.

Good grief.

If proven, the court may order the dog to be put down.

But you're a magistrate. I hardly need tell you that.

- You leaving that? - Can you stay a bit longer?

We'll see, eh? Leave your mother and me to talk about it.

- There's nothing to talk about. - Go on.

You won't leave without telling me?

Course not.

- Why did you come, Vince? - It's the lad's half-term.

It's only natural, isn't it?

There's nothing natural about you.

Oh, I don't know.

If your bit of stuff's thrown you out,

don't think you can breeze back here, cos the answer's no.

Doesn't he have a say?

Maybe you'll wash up before you go.

- I just buy the painting? - Yeah, well, I can't, obviously.

And don't let on you know that it's hers,

or that I've given you any money.

How exactly will this help Gina?

Well, at the moment I'm struggling to convince her

that she does have some talent.

If she has, won't the painting sell anyway?

Yes, but I want to make sure, and as you're very fond of her,

this would be just the encouragement she needs.

- GINA: There you go. - Have one yourself, Gina, love.

I'm all right, thanks, Vince.

- Another time, then. - Yeah.

GINA: What's dragged him back in here, then?

He says he's come to see his lad.

Through the bottom of a glass?

Oh, another surprise visitor.

- OSCAR: Hello, my lord. - Blaketon, Miss Ward.

Blaketon, I need some advice, if you've got a moment.

Of course, my lord.

You may have heard there's been an unfortunate incident up at the Hall

between my dog Jack and a window cleaner.

Sergeant Miller tells me

he's looking into the matter under the Dogs Act.

Oh, dear. Well, if I remember correctly,

Jack does have previous, doesn't he?

Well, yes, he can be a bit high-spirited from time to time,

I grant you, but he hasn't an ounce of malice in him.

And I tell you, Blaketon, I cherish that dog as I would my own child.

How can I help, my lord?

What do I have to do to persuade Miller not to bring charges?

Persuade? In what way?

Any way. You know the wrinkles, and I'm not a man without means.

If I get your drift, my lord, I would advise you to think again.

Huh?

The only way that Sergeant Miller will back off

is if you prove that Jack is not a danger to the public.

I didn't know you could take room up at the bar without buying a drink.

You do it often enough.

I'm sorry. I'll have a Scotch. Bit preoccupied.

Yes, I heard. Well, you're in luck, your lordship,

cos help might be close at hand.

In what way?

You probably haven't noticed but I am not alone.

But if you look down, you'll see Deefa. "D for Dog"!

Now, if I told you that that hound was a six-ball-bearing tearaway

less than a month ago, would you believe it?

Probably not.

I said to our David, "Either that dog goes or I do."

- So what did you do? - Trained her, what else?

When I ran boarding kennels a few years back,

I could turn slavering beasts into lap dogs.

I can't explain how. I just have a way with 'em.

Watch.

Now then. Sit!

Good girl. Now, circle.

Good. Sit! Yes.

There's a good girl!

Now, stay. Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait.

Wait.

Come on!

Good girl! Good girl. And circle and sit.

Sit. Good girl.

Wait! Wait!

Is that the sort of thing you meant?

Well, more or less, my lord, yes.

Hm, well, you'd better take another one out of that for Mrs Armstrong.

Martin! Martin?

KNOCK AT DOOR

Hello. Can I help?

- I've had an intruder. - When was this?

Just now. I've been robbed of my savings.

- Any idea who it might be? - Yes, Constable. My husband.

- Hi, Gina. - Hi, Rob.

Shouldn't you be having your afternoon nap?

Well, I called time ages ago. Do us a favour and kick them out.

- Is one of them Vince Wain? - The loudmouth on the right.

He went through a red light and said, "What? I'm driving?!"

ALL LAUGH

Hello, hello, hello. Plod at three o'clock, lads.

Very good. Mr Wain?

Yeah.

Could I have a word outside, please?

No, I've got a drink to finish. What is it?

Your wife's reported the theft of some money from her house.

She says you're responsible.

Have you got nothing better to do

than listen to Brenda bellyache about money?

- ROB: Did you take it? - Yeah. So what? I'm family.

Not any more, it seems. You've been separated for a year.

Eh... Now, there's no call for you to get mixed up in all this.

- You intend to pay it back, then? - Yeah, course I do.

Like the other money you've taken?

Don't listen to everything that Brenda tells you.

I'll talk to her. She'll be right as rain.

DOOR OPENS, THEN SLAMMED SHUT

BRENDA: Where have you been?

Happy now that you've shown me up in front of my mates?

Give me my money and go. Then I'll be happy.

You said he could stay tonight.

- Not after he helped himself. - It were a few quid, Brenda!

It was all I had!

I was gonna pay you back. There's no need to call the coppers.

You went to the police?

If I had my way, he'd still be in prison.

It was me who went in your purse, not Dad.

Yes, but he needed more, didn't you?

- He says he'll give it back. - He never has and he never will!

- BRENDA: Go on, Vince, now get out. - MARTIN: No!

- Shut up, you! - He'll pay it back.

I've heard enough, Martin. Get upstairs!

- You said he could stay. - He can go to his bit of stuff.

- No! - Upstairs, bed! And stay there!

Now, you, out!

- VINCE: I'm going nowhere. - BRENDA: Get out.

VINCE: I'm not moving.

BRENDA: I'm warning you, Vince! Get out of that chair!

- VINCE: Hey, leave off! - BRENDA: I'm calling the police!

VINCE: Call 'em. I don't care.

- What are you doing? - It's my special brew.

For mixing in with the dog biscuits.

Haven't you just made a batch of that?

Looks like I'm going to need some more.

Lord Ashfordly's asked me to do a bit of dog-taming.

Seems he's got a soft spot for a small dog.

And that, all being well, makes Ashfordly a soft touch for me.

- DAVID: Martin? - MARTIN: Is anyone in?

Yeah, Aunt Peggy. What are you doing here?

- I've run away from home. - Why?

Can't stand it no more. Can you hide me here?

Hide you?

Till I decide where I'm going. Will you?

- No, Martin. I can't. - Why not?

Why? Because your mum'll be worried sick.

I don't care. If I can't stay here, I'll have to sleep on the moor.

You can't do that.

I'll have to, cos I'm not going back.

Yeah, all right. Just for one night, mind.

Thanks. You're a real mate.

Come on.

DOG BARKS

He is a bit possessive of that chair.

Sees it as his bastion, so to speak.

It's a bastion, right enough.

Maybe we should withdraw gracefully until he's in a better mood.

No, no, no. He's got to learn who's boss, my lord.

Behave, Jack!

DOG BARKS

Is it all right if I go, my lord?

I think I heard someone shouting for me.

Yes, of course, Mrs Cameron.

Maybe if you went as well, your lordship...

You want me to leave you alone with Jack?

Trust me, him and I are just going to have a nice little chat.

Now then, what have we here?

THROATY GROWL

Here. Come on, come on.

GINA: Hi, Bernie.

Hey, don't look too close.

They all seem very nice.

Oh? Thinking of buying one, are you?

Yes, as a matter of fact.

Well, good for you. % goes to charity. Which one do you fancy?

Well, I can't make my mind up.

Erm... It's between one of these three.

What, one of these?

Yeah. They're all smashing. I think I'll have number .

- Number ? That's mine. - Never!

We've had our little chat. Good boy. Sit.

Good boy. I think we've come to an understanding.

That's remarkable.

Early days yet. There's more work to be done.

Yes, yes, of course. But time is short.

Mrs Armstrong, would you be prepared to stay on for a day or two

to give some intensive training? You'll be well rewarded.

- Oh, it would be a pleasure. - Excellent.

ASHFORDLY: Prepare a room, please, Mrs Cameron.

Here we are.

Whee!

It's firmer than I usually like.

The bathroom is through there. Towels are on the rail.

I trust you'll be comfortable.

Well, I'll try and make the best of it.

Breakfast is served to his lordship at ., if you'd care to join him.

No. I won't be bothering with that.

Just a little something in bed, perhaps?

But don't go to any trouble.

KNOCKING

MUSIC: 'The Wind' by Cat Stevens

Morning.

I've brought you some breakfast. I can get you some more if you want.

Mrs Armstrong didn't see you?

No. She didn't come back last night.

Actually, you can come in if you want.

Not if she could come back.

Martin, don't you think that one night on the run is enough?

I'm not going back.

You have to. It's your home.

You try living there.

I came here cos you're the only one I can rely on.

That's what a best mate is, isn't it?

I don't know. I've never really had a friend before,

let alone a best mate.

You won't give me away, will you?

No.

Vince!

- Vince! Vince! - What? What's up?

He's not upstairs.

He didn't sleep in his bed. He must have been gone all night.

- What? - Martin's gone.

- For pity's sake, Brenda. - This is all your doing.

You what? If he's taken the hump, it's not down to me.

Get up and get looking.

He's probably gone to a pal's place, Brenda.

Now calm down and let me get some kip.

It's done. Now you.

I'll do it for you.

Done. OK?

Now we're blood brothers. It means we're real mates.

Nobody or nothing can come between us, right?

Yeah, right.

It's a dead serious promise by each of us never to let the other down.

Right, do you want summat else to eat?

Chocolate for the journey.

- What journey? - Running away, aren't I?

Oh, Martin, you'd better phone your mum.

- We haven't got a phone. - Well, at work, then.

She'd only tell me to go home.

Where else are you going to go?

My Auntie Ida's in Whitby. I haven't seen her for ages

but she's the only relative I've got.

Can you take me?

I'm not sure, Martin.

I've got some fares already booked. I can't let customers down.

You can't let me down either.

KNOCKING

Come in.

PEGGY: Good morning.

Good morning.

Lord Ashfordly is dressed, breakfasted

and keen for an early start. He doesn't like to be kept waiting.

Well, then, so as not to waste time, perhaps you could run me a bath?

GINA: Hiya, Phil. What are you doing here?

I didn't have the money on me yesterday. So, where's it gone?

- What? - Your painting.

Oh, it's sold.

- You what? - Yeah!

There's plenty more to choose from.

No, it has to be that one.

- Don't be daft. Take another look. - No, I mean it.

Well, Bernie bought it, but he was a bit undecided.

If I can persuade him to have one of the others, you can have mine.

That would be good, yeah.

Didn't know you had such good taste, Phil.

So, how long is it since you saw your auntie, then?

A while.

Do you reckon she'll still recognise you?

I don't know. I expect so, yeah.

Listen, as soon as you get there,

you make sure she phones your mum's work, right?

- Yeah, yeah. - No, I'm serious, Martin.

Your mum'll be going crackers.

- What's the name of the road? - Baden-Powell.

I won't forget that, will I?

- What number? - Not sure.

How old is the lad?

Twelve. Mrs Wain's checked with his school friends. Nobody's seen him.

- Any reason for him running off? - Mum and Dad were rowing.

I think he was getting out of the firing line.

Bright lad. Where is she?

Outside. Dad's not bothered to come in.

ROB: Reckons the lad will turn up in his own time.

- One sugar. - Thanks.

SEAGULLS CRY

DAVID: What, you can't even remember what side she lives?

It's that side, I'm certain.

Martin, I'm in a bit of a rush.

I've got customers to pick up in Aidensfield.

It's definitely one of them over there. I'll go and knock.

DOG BARKING

DOORBELL RINGS

Yes?

- Does Auntie Ida live here? - Auntie Ida?

- Who are you? - I'm Martin.

Oh! Auntie Ida's out shopping just at the moment,

but if you want to come in and wait...

Just a sec.

David! I've found her.

Go through.

- Hi, Bernie. - Morning.

Not hanging it in here, then? My painting.

Oh, I thought I'd find somewhere more personal.

- Not the smallest room, I hope. - No, of course not!

You didn't seem too sure when you bought it.

I was spoilt for choice, wasn't I?

So you wouldn't have minded one of the others?

- No, I suppose not. - That's what I thought.

You wouldn't you do me a favour and let me have it back?

What?

Phil Bellamy's dead set on buying it.

He won't look at anything else.

And since you'd be happy with one of the others... It is for charity.

Well...

Here. See if anything interests you while you're waiting.

BERNIE: I can't find it. It's gone.

- How can it have gone? - David must have shifted it.

- I'll ask him when he comes in. - Oh, right.

OK, thanks, Bernie.

PEGGY: Come on, Jack. Jack, come here.

Jack! Jack!

Jack, sit. Sit.

Stay. Jack, stay!

Come on! Good.

- Sit. - Very good!

Er... I've got the taxi for Mr Winstanley.

- You're cutting it fine, David. - I'll call him.

David, was it you who took my painting from Bernie's?

No. What painting?

Oh, it doesn't matter.

Did you hear that Martin Wain has gone missing?

Er, no.

I told Rob Walker I saw you giving him a lift yesterday.

Did he say anything about doing a runner?

No, nothing.

Have you got any idea where he's gone?

- No. - His mother is worried sick.

Well, he's... he's a sensible lad, is Martin.

You want to tell her not to worry.

- You think so? - Yeah.

I hope you're right.

PHONE RINGS

Aidensfield Police.

Oscar.

No, still no sign of him.

OSCAR: 'I've just been talking to David Stockwell.'

Has he seen him, then?

No, but I got the feeling he knew summat.

Look, I could be barking up the wrong tree,

but I think it might be worth you checking his place.

OK. Thanks. Bye.

Has somebody seen him?

No, but Oscar Blaketon thinks David Stockwell might know something.

I hadn't thought of him. They are very pally.

OK, well, I'll go and have a look.

Stan? It's Percy.

Do us a favour. Call us back when you've got a mo.

- PERCY: Are you all right in there? - Yeah.

KNOCK ON DOOR

- Lord Ashfordly, Sarge. - Thank you.

- Please. - Thank you.

It's apropos my little problem, Sergeant.

The small dog with the big ego?

I'm glad to say we've been able to do something about that.

- Oh? Ouch. - Ouch?

The surgical solution of choice. Though not the dog's, of course.

Good heavens, no. Jack's still the full quid in that department.

Sorry? It seemed to be the only way his behaviour could have changed.

- As indeed it has. - Really?

And the architect of this transformation

is none other than Mrs Armstrong.

Oh, yes?

I promise you, Jack's a different dog.

I am sure the court will take what you have to say into consideration.

Well, I must confess

I'd rather hoped for a more enlightened approach, Sergeant.

In what way?

Suppose I could demonstrate to you that Jack is a reformed character.

Would you still have to put him in the dock?

Even if I could be persuaded that Jack had gone straight,

I'm not sure Mr Turner would see it in the same way.

Then why don't we ask him?

MUSIC: 'Way To Blue' by Nick Drake

♪ Don't you have a word

♪ To show what may be done

♪ Have you never heard

♪ A way to find the sun

♪ Tell me all that you may know... ♪

- ROB: Hello, David. - Hello.

I'm sorry, I think Aunt Peggy's out.

- It's you I came to see, actually. - Oh.

I'm looking for Martin Wain. He's gone missing.

- Yeah, Mr Blaketon just said. - You saw him yesterday, I hear?

Yeah, I gave him a lift home.

Did you see him anytime after that?

- No. - Are you sure about that?

Yeah.

There's a mug and a plate and a blanket in the shed.

Did somebody stay overnight?

No, er, don't think so, no.

So who's the mug and plate for?

Er, they're mine. I was working in there.

And the blanket?

VAN APPROACHES

That's for the dog to sleep on.

The dog? Martin's mum and dad are sick with worry.

- Haven't they heard anything yet? - No.

- Has he seen him? - He says not.

- I'll have you! - All right!

I'll deal with this, Mr Wain.

You haven't seen him, have you, David?

He won't come to any harm. I'm surprised he hasn't called yet.

- We're not on the phone, stupid! - I meant Mrs Wain's work number.

- ROB: Have you checked with them? - Yes. They've had no word.

Is that what he said he'd do? Call Mrs Wain's place of work?

VINCE: I thought he didn't know owt.

- You can see how worried we are. - There's no need.

- Where is he, David? - He said he'd send a message.

- From where? - I can't tell you. I promised.

- I'll give you promise. - That's enough.

- Where is he? - Well, he's all right.

- He's going to be safe. - How do you know that?

Because I took him to his auntie's in Whitby.

- His auntie's? - Yeah, his Auntie Ida.

You couldn't have. She left Whitby three years ago.

PHONE RINGS

PERCY: Hello?

I see. So where are you?

Well, I'm glad you called, Ida,

cos there's a young man here waiting to see you. Your nephew, Martin.

So how long will you be?

Right, I'll tell him. Bye.

That was your Auntie Ida. She's been held up

but she hopes you'll wait till she gets back.

How about a drink and a biscuit?

I want you to show me exactly where you took him!

- I'm coming with you. - You stay here with your wife.

He might still turn up on his own. If we find him, I'll let you know.

OK. Get in.

- GINA: Hi, Rosie. - Hiya.

Is Bernie about?

He had to go out. Anything I can do?

Not unless you've seen my painting.

No, sorry. Although it must be good for Bernie to dig out his wallet.

I reckon your tutor tipped him off he'd be onto a good thing.

How do you mean?

I saw him and Bernie in a huddle yesterday.

MUSIC: 'Gimme Some Lovin'' by The Spencer Davis Group

♪ Well, my temperature's rising, got my feet on the floor... ♪

- What number? - Well, Martin didn't know,

so he just kept knocking at all the doors till he found the right one.

- Which one? - They all look the same.

All right, tell me, which house did he go into?

I'm sorry, Mr Walker, I don't know.

You check this side.

I'll be with you in a minute.

Here we are.

Thanks.

- Hungry? - Yeah.

Your Auntie Ida will rustle you up some grub, when she comes.

Won't be long now.

DOG BARKING

PERCY: Look outside!

Are they looking for you?

MARTIN: He said he wouldn't give me away.

- What do you want to do? - Hide.

There's a cupboard under the stairs. Shall I show you?

Gentlemen, welcome.

Er, is that dog on a lead?

No need for that, Mr Turner. Your shins are safe.

Jack is a changed dog.

I'll believe that when I see it, from a distance.

This way, gentlemen.

DOORBELL RINGS

- Oh, hello. - I found it.

It had slipped behind a screen in the funeral parlour.

- Oh, did it? - Phil still wants it?

Well, now, that depends if Jack's had a word with him, doesn't it?

- Jack? I'm not with you. - Oh, I think you are, Bernie.

I've known some lying, conniving men in my time,

but I never would've put you in that bracket.

I should think not!

- Then tell me. - What?

- Did Jack put you up to it? - What?

Buying my painting. And I want the truth now.

WHIMPERS

He might have had a bit of influence, yes.

Yeah, I thought as much.

But I don't need him to tell me what's good.

Oh, rubbish!

You wouldn't have looked twice at it if he hadn't asked you to.

Did he give you the money to buy it? Did he?

He only wanted to make you happy, Gina.

Right, get out.

Don't be too hard on him. I'm sure he meant well.

Get out!

- How old do you say? - He's .

Last seen in this road earlier today.

No, sorry, can't help.

- And you've been in all day? - More or less.

I popped to the shop for one or two things.

- You don't work, then? - No, not at the moment. Bad chest.

Is there anyone else who lives here who might have seen him?

No, no-one. Not since Mother passed on.

- OK, well, thank you, Mr... - Downs.

Downs.

His name's Martin. Green jacket, jeans, light brown hair.

We'd be grateful if you'd keep an eye out.

Of course.

There's a bus stop at the end. Perhaps someone saw him waiting?

- Yes. OK. Bye, then. - Bye.

- An Armstrong Siddeley! - Pardon?

A model of an Armstrong Siddeley. Underneath the tables.

Yes, so it is. I collect them.

- That's a coincidence. Me too. - Really?

- Would you mind? - What?

- I'd love to see your collection. - No, no, I-I've got to go out.

Really. I'm late now...

- I insist, Mr Downs. - Please, I want you to go.

- Martin? - Please. Get out of my house.

- Martin? - Get out, or I'll report you!

Martin, where is he?

I've already told you, I have no idea.

It was the boy's idea. Ask him. He didn't want to be found.

All right, Martin. Let's take you back.

PEGGY: Sit.

Now, heel.

Heel. Come on, Jack. Heel.

Good boy! Now, sit!

And stay. Stay.

Stay.

Come on! Good boy!

Total transformation!

ROB: You asked him if your Auntie still lived there?

And he said that she did?

He said she was out and I could wait if I wanted.

And then what?

He gave me some comics, a drink and some biscuits.

- He wants locking up. - Why?

He got you into that place with a lie, didn't he?

There are some bad people, Martin. You can't always tell.

He hid me cos I asked him to. He didn't do anything.

- You tell him, Constable. - I think that's your job, Mr Wain.

While you're at it, reflect on why he ran away in the first place.

ASHFORDLY: I'm sure you gentlemen are impressed.

- Well, it's a bit of an eye-opener. - ASHFORDLY: Indeed.

Hang on. How do we know that's the same dog?

Come, come, Mr Turner, there's only one Jack.

What's your view now, Sergeant?

It's certainly a step in the right direction.

But for proceedings to be dropped, I need to be sure

that the dog's transformation can be made permanent.

Dead right, Sergeant. There's still some work to do.

Then I hope you'll stay here to complete the job, Mrs Armstrong.

Oh, it'd be a pleasure, Your Lordship.

In that case,

subject to your agreeing compensation with Mr Turner,

I am prepared for the time being

to file this case under "no further action".

Thank you, Sergeant.

Is this what you're looking for?

An interesting bouquet for a dog biscuit.

- Valerian, isn't it? - What?

The game's up, Mrs Armstrong.

You've been drugging the wee beastie into submission.

Well, whatever I've been doing, you should be grateful.

- You're scared stiff of that dog. - Not with these, I'm not.

If you don't want his lordship to know what you've been up to,

I suggest you take the money and run.

CHUCKLES

DOOR OPENS

ROB: This is Sergeant Miller.

Thank you, Constable.

So, Mr Downs, what are we going to do with you, then?

I never touched him. The lad came in of his own free will.

- Thanks to your deception. - He wanted somewhere to hide.

I was just showing him hospitality.

Like you would to any child who turned up at your door?

- Right. - Wrong!

A person would get in touch with the police immediately!

Especially if that person had a dodgy record.

Because someone like that needs to know

that we are watching him very, very closely.

Understood?

VINCE: What are you doing here?

I just came to see Martin, make sure he's all right.

Well, he is, no thanks to you.

DAVID: Are you OK?

I've already said so, haven't I? You two, in the van, sharpish.

And don't let me catch you round our house again.

- Hi, there. - Hello.

You didn't return my call.

- Are you too busy? - Yeah, you could say.

JACK: The painting's back!

- Oh! Big surprise, I'm sure. - What?

Bernie grassed on you.

Didn't he tell you when he asked for it back?

I'm sorry, Gina. It was clumsy.

Hey! You've got it back! Oh, good.

Good. Right, well, wrap it up.

GINA: Can't you see the sticker?

NFS?

- Not For Sale. - You what?

Well, it's in such demand, I'd be a fool to sell it for peanuts.

- Come on, Gina, it's good, but... - Oh, have you been primed as well?

- Primed? - Or are you just stirring it?

Well, it's still NFS, especially to you!

Flippin' Nora.

What was all that about?

My fault, I'm afraid. I'll go and talk to her.

Right. Well, good luck. I know how difficult that can be.

I reckon Phil got what was meant for me.

Probably.

Look, I can't turn the clocks back, Gina.

It was a stupid mistake and I'm sorry.

It was a lousy idea. I can't think what possessed me.

You seem...

What, like a wet weekend?

So wound up.

Can't we start again?

So, Jack got his reprieve in time, then?

Absolutely. Thanks to Mrs Armstrong.

What's next, then? Crufts?

And why not? He has the pedigree, after all.

True.

Though the bloodline does throw up its share of rogue elements.

OSCAR: Really?

You know, despite Mrs Armstrong's best efforts,

it's strange how the little blighter still has his moments.