04x04 - Episode 4

[bunniefuu]

[MICHAEL] Uh...

- Can I get you a drink?
- Sure.

- Uh...
- Where's all your furniture?

Um, I haven't been here that long.

My ex-wife still lives in the family
home, so I don't have much stuff.

We've been separated
for almost a year now.

It's, um... it's been
quite an adjustment.

Michael, I don't really
wanna talk about your ex-wife.

Sorry. Yeah.

Why don't we drink afterwards?

After what?

["WHIP IT" BY DEVO" PLAYING]

Ah! Oh! Uh...

Uh... uh... Oh. Ooh!

Mmph! Oh... Mmm!

Ah!

Ah! Uh... Oh...

Uh. Ah!

- [SIGHS]
- Oh! Ow!

[BOTH] Ah!

- [MICHAEL] Ah! Oh! Ah!
- Ah! Oh!

- Oh, yes. Oh, that's it!
- [MICHAEL GROANS]

- [GLORIA] Ah! Ah!
- Oh, hang on.

- Oh. Oh.
- [MUSIC STOPS]

Sorry. Ah! Sorry. Sorry.
I just need a moment. Um...

Sometimes I have trouble
performing at the drop of a hat.

Do you have any little blue pills?

Uh... no. But I did try
one once when my ex-wife...

- Michael. I don't wanna think about you...
- [SPLUTTERS]

- ... and your ex-wife right now.
- Mm-hmm.

- Come on. You can do this.
- Uh-huh.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- Yeah?

- Mm-hmm. [GRUNTS]
- [MUSIC RESTARTS]

[GROANS] Okay, yeah.

Come on. Come on.

Oh, that's... Oh!

- Come on!
- I can't.

- Come on!
- [MICHAEL GROANS]

- [GRUNTS] Ah!
- [GROANS]

- All right.
- ♪ When something's goin' wrong ♪

♪ You must whip it... ♪

[SIGHS]

♪ Now whip it! ♪

[SIGHS] It's not gonna happen, is it?

Uh, maybe...

Or we could just have
a nice cuddle instead.

Thank you for dinner, Michael, but
I need a proper man in the bedroom.

- Someone who wants to rip my clothes off.
- Ah!

Oh! Ah! Uh... Hmm.

Uh, yes, absolutely.

- [DIALING]
- Uh, lovely to see you.

- Hello.
- Dennis. It's Gloria.

Fancy a quickie at mine?

- f*ck, yeah!
- Oh, yes. [LAUGHS]

- [FRONT DOOR SLAMS]
- [GLORIA] Yes. I'll be half an hour.

[SIGHS]

["DREAM A DREAM" BY BIC RUNGA PLAYING]

♪ I dreamed a dream ♪

- ♪ Or was it real? ♪
- [ANNA] She's here.

- [MAEVE] Hi.
- Hey!

[MAEVE] Ooh!

Oh, that's a good hug.

- How was America?
- Good. I missed you, though.

Elsie, can you take
Maeve's bag to the car?

Oh, thank you.

- How was that?
- Long.

♪ I dreamed a dream of you... ♪

[ANNA] Yeah.

I've got your room all set up at home.

- ♪ The warmest breeze against my ear ♪
- Thanks.

♪ The sea and sky so blue ♪

♪ A paradise inside my mind ♪

♪ I dreamed a dream of you ♪

[GRUNTING]

[GASPS]

[SQUELCHING SOUNDS]

[ROZ] Jackson?

- Hey.
- Hey, just, uh... checking in.

Yeah, I'm good. You?

Uh, had a chat with your mum, um...

[JACKSON] Yeah?

If you want to stay home, you can.

No. I want to go to college.
There's no point worrying about it.

- Jackson.
- Yeah.

Look at me.

It's gonna be okay.

Yeah, I know.

Love you.

[PHONE CHIMES]

[SIGHS]

[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

I'm your host, Dr. Jean Milburn.

This is your host.

I'm your host, Dr. Jean Milburn,

and I wanted to start today by
talking about male mental health.

Caffeine delivery!

- Sh! I just got her to settle.
- Oh sh*t. Sorry.

- [WHISPERING] Thank you.
- There we go.

[JEAN] Oh.

[JOANNA] Ooh!

- Mmph.
- So, Jo.

- Mmm?
- Uh...

I've been asked to come in early
to the station this afternoon.

- Would you watch Joy?
- I can't.

- Why?
- I have got a date

with this guy that I met at the bank.

Oh my God.

- What?
- [SIGHS]

Well, I don't know. Just maybe don't
do the thing that you always do?

- [GROANS]
- Just jump into another relationship.

- [SIGHS] Mmm.
- Take a breath. Huh?

You can talk.

- I'm just saying.
- Do you know, I... I really...

I don't need you to do the
whole mothering thing right now.

- It's just a date.
- Sh.

- Okay.
- [JOY FUSSING]

- Can you not take Joy with you?
- No, I can't.

I'm afraid they're gonna fire me today.

What?

I don't know. The show
hasn't been going very well.

It's been quite bad, actually.

And I just... I can't find my rhythm.

And I just should never have
taken the job in the first place.

[SIGHS]

Fine. It's fine.

- It's okay.
- No, fine. I can rearrange my date.

No.

- [SIGHS]
- If you can do something for me?

- [SIGHS]
- I need you to lie really still.

- Oh, no, no, no.
- I'm going to fart on your head.

- It'll be a squelchy one.
- Jo!

- [FARTING]
- [OTIS] I'm heading out.

- Nice.
- Sorry, I was farting on your mum's head.

Maeve's back, but her mum's in hospital.

What about college, darling?

Well, it's just a day.
Mum, she really needs me.

- Have fun.
- Well, call me later.

- [JOY CRYING]
- [SIGHS]

- Oh.
- That was definitely his fault, not mine.

- My Joy! Hey, baby! Hey!
- [CRYING]

[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]

[DOG BARKING]

- [BRAKE CLICKS]
- [KEYS JANGLE]

Who is that?

[ADAM] Uh, it's Jem. Dad owns the place.

- Very pretty.
- [SHEEP BLEATING]

Is she? Uh... didn't notice.

Um... I don't need a lift.

- Dad's gonna give me another lesson.
- Oh, good.

Oh, um... I was gonna ask. Uh,
did your dad ever go on that date?

No, I don't know. Why do you care?

Uh I... I don't care.

I mean, I'm just, um... just, uh...

really happy for him that
he's moving on, that's all.

- Have a lovely day.
- Mm-hmm.

[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

Can you meet me in the
riding pen after lunch, okay?

[DOG BARKS]

- [BEEPS]
- Hmm.

[GROANS]

[RASPING BREATHS]

When I met you, I was but the learner.

Now I am the master.

[PHONE CHIMES]

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

[JEAN] Can you get that?

[SIGHS]

[ERIC YELPS]

My God, Jean!

- [LAUGHS] Oh!
- No, I'm... I'm Joanna.

I'm Jean's sister.

- Oh!
- Actually, I've just got this thing.

It's supposed to,
like, boost my collagen

and make me look years old again.

I hope it works, 'cause it
was really f*cking expensive.

Oh my God! Sounds fabulous.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Sorry, who are you?

- Oh, I'm... I'm Eric.
- Right.

- Uh, I'm Otis's friend. Is he here?
- Oh. Uh, no, he isn't.

Somebody called "Mavis" has just
got back, so he's gone to see her.

Huh.

Okay.

- Shall I pass on a message? Or...
- Uh, no. No, no.

- Um, nice to meet you, Joanna.
- You too, Eric.

- Good luck with the collagen.
- Thank you. I really need it.

[SIGHS]

Thank you for letting me know, Otis!

- [SIGHS]
- [PHONE CHIMES]

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

[ANNA] Maeve, Aimee's here.

- Oh.
- Aimes, I missed you.

Thanks for giving me a lift.

- Let's go.
- Yeah.

- Oh, is Otis comin'?
- No.

[BRAKES SQUEAL]

- [MAEVE] Hi.
- Hey.

What are you doing here?

I just thought I'd come
and give you some support.

Sorry, have I done the wrong thing?

Uh... No, no. That's...

that's really nice...
that's really nice of you.

It's just I haven't
showered since the plane.

I was hoping to see you a bit
more spruced up, but I'm not...

[OTIS] That's okay. I'm...

It's fine. I can come back. Don't worry.

Nice to see you. [CHUCKLES]

Don't go, actually. Please.

- I've missed you.
- [OTIS] I missed you.

- [MAEVE] Ow!
- [AIMEE] Sorry.

Carry it 'cause my feet get dead

sweaty when I drive. Knock yourself out.

[OTIS CHUCKLES]

[AIMEE] Hop in.

Fresh blossom?

- [TIRES SCREECHING]
- [ENGINE REVVING]

f*ckin' hell.

[SIGHS]

[SPLAT]

What?

[GROANS]

Disgustin'.

- [VIV] We texted all weekend.
- [JACKSON] Aw!

- I think I really like him.
- See, I told you.

He's like your nerdy soulmate.

He even told his dad about me.

They're like best mates.

- [CHUCKLES]
- How sweet is that?

- Yeah.
- Yeah!

- [LAUGHS]
- What? What?

Nothin'.

Viv, you have a bad
case of mention-itis.

- You can't stop talkin' about him.
- Stop!

- Okay, I'll stop.
- No, no, look, I'm happy for you.

- I am.
- [BOTH LAUGH]

Hey, um...

I do need to talk to
you about something.

It's a bit awkward. I found a lump.

Like, in my ball sack.

What do you mean? Are you okay?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

No.

Freakin' out. But
they're doin' tests, so...

I wanted to let you know,
you're my best friend.

Okay, well, um...

[SIGHS] Thank you for letting
me know. I'm here for you.

Thanks.

[TENDER MUSIC PLAYING]

[VIV] Come on.

His video was so relatable.

O's video was too shiny. I feel
like we never really know her.

[GIRL ] Yeah, that's crazy.

[GIRL ] I'm just, like, really
itchy. I don't know what happened.

Excuse me. No queue-jumping.

Chill. I'm looking for Otis.
I'm his campaign manager.

If you're his campaign
manager, then where is he?

- Let me get back to you on that.
- [GIRL ] What's the point of booking?

[O SINGING ALONG]
♪ Between me and you ♪

♪ So come and see me for
a sexual breakthrough... ♪

- Hi.
- ♪ So vote O for Cavendish ♪

- ♪ Your own sexual therapist... ♪
- Um...

Do you know what? I'm actually taking
some walk-in appointments today,

as Otis hasn't turned up.

- I also have some free T-shirts.
- [GIRL] Mmm. Cool.

They are organic and ethically made.

Remember, vote O!

- [GIRL] Free T-shirts!
- [BOY] Yeah!

[O] For you. And there's one for you.

- And you.
- [GIRL] Thank you. These are so soft!

[SIGHS]

[SIREN WAILING]

[MAEVE] There's my dickhead brother.

Do you want us to come in with you?

No, it's fine.

- [AIMEE] You sure?
- Yeah. I won't be long.

[CAR DOOR SLAMS]

I hope she's all right.

I know. Me too.

Do you know how to play Scabby Queen?

Hey, Froggy! Ribbit!

- [MAEVE GRUNTS]
- [SEAN] Ah!

- Where have you been?
- Oh, just with my mate, um... Mo.

- You know, Mo. He's got...
- No.

I can't believe you've come
back from America for this.

- She'd better be really ill this time.
- Sean.

Do you not remember last
time she ended up in hospital?

She escaped. By the time they caught
her, she was by the train station.

Yeah? In nothing but a hospital gown

- with her arse hangin' out.
- Wasn't funny.

- Come on. It was a little bit funny.
- I'm not laughing.

[SEAN] Don't let you laugh
in America, do they? [GIGGLES]

Hey, um... can I walk you to class?

- [GIRL] Ready? Smile!
- Yeah.

Yeah, um... I just wanted to ask

if there's anything goin' on
with you and that Jackson guy?

Because you guys were
huggin' earlier, and I, um...

I... I don't wanna get my hopes up

if you're already
involved with someone else.

[LAUGHS] No. Um...

Jackson's my best mate. He's
going through some personal stuff.

But there is definitely
nothing going on between us.

Okay. Okay, cool.

Okay. I'm... I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I just... I get
in my head sometimes, and...

I... I really like you.

Uh, um... I know this is fast,
but I've been thinking, actually.

If you wanted to, do you
wanna be my girlfriend?

- If you want. I don't...
- I would love to be your girlfriend.

Okay. Cool.

- Cool.
- Yeah.

- Cool. Shall we...
- Class?

- Class. Yeah.
- Class. Yes. Probably should.

Yeah. There's this statistics
book I'm really enjoying.

- The way it analyzes data...
- Oh, yeah, did you finish the...

Oh no. You have to try
it. It's so invigorating.

[LAUGHS]

- I didn't exfoliate for a week.
- [WOMAN] See you!

- [GLORIA] Hey.
- [GIRL] Hi, miss.

[DOOR SLAMS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Yeah, just an idea.
Um, homage to my phone.

- [BOTH LAUGH]
- It's gonna...

[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

- Hey.
- Hey.

I'm sorry about the other
night. I was so awkward.

No, you weren't.

People think I want to
kiss them all the time.

You're just saying that
to make me feel better.

Just a little bit.

[CHUCKLES]

Um... I wanted to explain. PK and
I are ethically non-monogamous.

So, I was wondering

if you might wanna go on
a date sometime with me?

Um...

- Yeah, I'd like that.
- [SOFTLY] Yeah!

Hmm...

- Boom.
- [OTIS] Mm-hmm.

- Heh-heh-heh.
- [PHONE CHIMES]

Pause.

[OTIS] Ahem.

- Everythin' all right?
- Yeah, it's just Isaac.

- I didn't know you were friends.
- We're not. I just do art class with him.

- It's not like I like him or anythin'.
- Okay. Sure.

Not everything's therapy, Otis.

[OTIS GASPS]

[YELPS]

- You're the Scabby Queen.
- You're like a mind reader.

What shall we do now?

Can I take your photo?

Sure.

That's a nice camera.

Right. Oh God. It gets me every time.

[FOOT TAPPING]

[SEAN SIGHS]

[CONTINUES TAPPING FOOT]

[STARTS TAPPING]

[SIGHS]

[SIREN WAILING OUTSIDE]

[DOOR SLAMS]

[WHISTLING MELODY]

- What?
- It's not an appropriate place to whistle.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

[WHISTLING]

[WHISPERS] Sean.

[SEAN CONTINUES WHISTLING]

[WHISPERS] Sorry.

- Sorry.
- [WOMAN] Maeve and Sean Wiley?

Come with me.

If you'd like to come through.

[SIRENS WAILING OUTSIDE]

[TENSE MUSIC]

[DOOR CLOSES]

- Where's my mum?
- [WOMAN] Take a seat, and we can have a chat.

I don't wanna sit. What
are you doing? Get up.

- Sean. Sit down. Sit down.
- Loser, get up. Get up.

I am very sorry to inform you
that your mother has passed away.

[SEAN SHUDDERS]

Shortly after she was admitted to ICU,

she lost consciousness
and fell into a coma.

[VOICE FADING] It was very unexpected...

[MUFFLED] Whilst she was initially
stable, she deteriorated quickly,

and her heart stopped working.

We did everything to try and save her,

but I'm afraid we were unsuccessful.

We lost her about minutes ago.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Take as much time as you
need. This room is for you.

A nurse will be in to see you shortly.

[JOANNA] Oh!

- Hi. Hello.
- Hola.

- That's a baby.
- Oh, yeah. No, she's not mine.

- Oh.
- No, she's my niece.

- I couldn't get out of watching her, so...
- Oh. [CHUCKLES]

- Hi. Hello.
- Uh, mange-tout.

- Well, this...
- Mmm! [LAUGHS]

Maybe I'll just pop another
one there for good luck.

Wow, you smell really...

- [SIGHS] ... f*cking nice, actually.
- Thanks very much!

Came over here on my "motorbee-kay."

- Wow, a bike. That's, um...
- [JOY STARTS CRYING]

- Oh no.
- It's fine.

[DAN] Sorry.

Oh, she's been fussing all morning.

I thought I could leave
her at home, but my...

my sister had to work, so, uh...

Yeah, I should probably
feed her. [LAUGHS]

- Sorry.
- No, don't apologize.

Go ahead. I, uh... love babies.

- They're, uh, you know... cool.
- Yeah, I'm sure you do.

I do. They're great stuff.

I'm the eldest of, uh, six siblings.

- Oh right? [CHUCKLES]
- Would you believe?

I was around them a lot.

My little brother Billy
called me "Daddy Brother."

- Uh-huh.
- Not in a creepy...

- We weren't in a cult. I promise.
- Right.

Just a normal family. My parents
just... loved bangin', I guess.

Hey! Hi there.

Who are you? You're a
handsome little devil.

Oh, she likes you.

So, what about you? Do
you wanna get married?

Pop out some babies? Pop!

Wow! Right to the point.

Sorry. You know what it is? I
just... I go on so many dates.

Honestly, I just wanna settle down,

but most of the women
I... I go out with,

they're only interested in, you know...

Mm-hmm.

So I'm... I'm trying out this new
thing where I'm just really honest

so I don't waste people's time.

[LAUGHS] Yeah, I, uh...
I wanna settle down too.

But I just can't seem to
make anything long-term stick.

You know, it's just,
like, the wrong person.

- Right.
- Or, like, you know, the wrong time.

And there's always that risk

of, like, passing down all of your
dysfunctional sh*t to an infant.

Not that I've got loads of
it. Just a normal amount.

Right, sure. Like, a normal
amount of dysfunctional sh*t.

Yeah, that was probably
the wrong answer.

It wasn't at all. It
really... It really wasn't.

[JOANNA CHUCKLES]

[HEARTFELT MUSIC PLAYING]

If you're happy to wait
until tomorrow to see Otis,

he will give you a double
appointment and a regular slot.

I only wanna stop my muff itching.

Any time, that's what I'm here
for. Don't forget to vote for O.

- Bye. Thanks so much.
- Thanks.

Can I help you?

Yes, you can.

- You can stop taking Otis's clients.
- [PA CHIMES]

[GIRL] There will be a student counselor

debate this Thursday lunchtime.

Come and hear Otis and O make the
case for why they deserve your vote.

We'll have free tote bags
for anyone who comes along.

What's this about a debate?

I'm so sorry. Who are you again?

Oh, please stop pretending
that you don't know who I am.

- Why don't we step inside?
- Yeah, shall we?

Take a wee seat.

No, thank you. I don't
want to crease my skirt.

So, what's with this debate?

Oh, uh... I just thought it
might be a good opportunity

for Otis and I to get our points across.

- I was gonna tell him if it got approved.
- I bet you were.

What's your connection to Otis?

Why does that matter?

Just tryin' to work out
what's in this for you.

I mean, you must be pretty good
friends to help him like this.

Yes, we're friends.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

But you used to be more?

We dated briefly.

I broke up with him, obviously.

Because his feelings
weren't as strong as yours?

And he still held a torch for that girl?

Oh, what's her name, the one
he's with now, the one in America?

Maeve, is it?

I'm just guessing here.

I don't know, but it would explain
why you're runnin' round after him.

You're hoping that one
day he will see the light

and realize that you're the person

who's always known how special he is,

and he'll say that he loves you
as much as you've always loved him.

That's not true.

Okay.

But I'll give you some advice.

If someone really truly likes you,
they shouldn't be playin' any games.

They shouldn't be leaving you confused.

It'll be clear.

Thank you for the advice.

Now, let me give you some.

Start preparing yourself to lose.

When we were ten, you decided
to make my life a living hell.

And now, I promise you, I plan on
doing the exact same thing to you.

- [CHUCKLES] Was that a thr*at?
- No, it's a promise, Sarah.

Now, I've got a debate to prepare for.

- [DOOR OPENS]
- My name is O.

[DOOR CLOSES]

- [OTIS] Shall I look at you?
- [AIMEE] Whatever you want.

Shall I...

Just, kind of, you know, relax.

What's that?

Uh... Sorry. I was just...
I was... I was trying to pose.

Maybe just do nothing.

Ahem. Okay.

- I feel like you're still doing something.
- [PHONE CHIMES]

[SHUTTER CLICKS]

- [SIGHS]
- [SHUTTER CLICKS]

Weird.

Oh, okay.

- Not bad.
- Thanks.

Weird.

[SHUTTER CLICKS]

Are these going in your portfolio?

No, no, no. I'm just practicin'.

I actually think I wanna
take photos of myself.

Isaac showed me these amazing
self-portraits I really like.

I thought you weren't
friends with Isaac?

Yeah, I'm not.

Yeah, I don't really know
what I'm trying to say yet

with the self-portraits,
which is annoying.

Like, say with Isaac's work, for
example. It really means something.

Maybe you're thinking about it too
much. Just trust your instincts.

That is exactly what Isaac says.

Otis, will you therapy me?

Uh, what's up?

Right. Um...

Say...

if you thought you were
getting feelings for someone

who your best friend
used to have a thing with,

do you think you would have
to tell your best friend

you were getting feelings for the person

that they used to have the thing with?

I think...

I think if these feelings are real,
and you wanna act on them, then...

yeah, you should be
upfront with your friend.

- Mmm.
- If you don't tell them and they find out,

it'll be a lot worse.

[SIREN BLARING]

Yeah.

I wasn't talking about
Isaac, by the way.

- Didn't think you were.
- That's good. Hold that.

- Ahem...
- [SHUTTER CLICKS]

- You changed it again.
- I'm sorry. I did. I know I did.

Hi. I'm doing a survey for
the student counselor election.

Do you feel that O has ever crossed
a line or treated anyone badly?

- No.
- Okay.

Has O's behavior ever
been not inclusive or mean?

- No.
- No.

- No.
- No, not at all.

Has O ever given you advice
that was damaging or incorrect?

- No.
- No.

[STUDENTS] No. No. No. No.

- [ALL] No!
- Okay.

In terms of a charity, we should raise

for something different this year.

Hi. I'm doing a survey for
the student counselor election.

- Can I ask a few questions?
- We are in the middle of a meeting.

It'll just take a sec.

So, do you feel that O has ever crossed

the line or treated anyone badly?

Um... No. She's actually helped
me out with a lot of problems.

We think she's great.

Sorry. I didn't catch what you said.

Don't worry, babe. I'll tell you later.

Uh, do you have any more questions?

Yeah. Do you feel that O's behavior

has ever been not inclusive or mean?

- Um... last...
- Look, this is feeling quite bitchy now.

[RUBY CHUCKLES] Oh, come on.

I know you don't really
buy into the whole

not-talking-behind-people's-back thing

and that, like, being kind
is, you know, your brand.

Love it.

But, uh, I'm not gonna tell
anyone. You can give me the goss.

Being kind isn't a brand.
It's the right thing to do.

Um... we actually do need
to get on with our meetin',

but good luck with your survey.

That girl's energy is so
emotionally draining. [SIGHS]

Aisha, that's not gossip. It's a fact.

Ooh! Eric.

Have you seen Otis? Because
he's ignoring my texts.

Uh, no. No, he stood me up this mornin'.

Because you disinvited him
from the club night thing?

- Excuse me?
- No, I'm not judging you, Eric.

Believe me. I disinvite uncool
people from things all the time.

It's just I think he was a bit upset.

Oh my God! No. No, it's
because Maeve is back in town.

And whenever she's around,
nothin' else matters to him.

He's not told you that she's back?

Oh, I'm...

- No, it's fine. Yes.
- Did... Yeah?

- Okay, good. Yes, thank you. Thanks.
- Because I... Good, yeah. Yeah, okay.

[JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYING]

[SIGHS]

What did I miss?

[WHISPERS] Ruby.

- Of course.
- [ABBI] Okay. So we do still need to choose

a charity for the fundraiser.

Do we have any ideas?

[JEM] Up. No. Keep going.

- [JEM SIGHS]
- [MIDNIGHT NEIGHS]

So, what's going through your
head when you look at Midnight?

Uh...

"If I fall over, you will crush
me with your small metal feet."

[MIDNIGHT BLOWING]

Right. Well, take the reins.

You need to let the horse
know you're not afraid.

Come on. We're gonna
walk together. Come on.

Give her a tug. Come on.

Try and... tune into the horse's rhythm.

Okay.

See.

He's not that scary, is he?

[LAUGHS]

Okay, let's get you on.

- Don't I need another lesson?
- Well, you know the old saying.

"Thinking doesn't overcome
fear. Action does." Up.

Ready? Shall I help you?

Okay. One, two, three.

- Ah.
- [ADAM] Okay.

- You good?
- Uh-huh.

- Go on.
- Oof! Okay.

- Slowly, though.
- All right.

- You've got it.
- Slow it down.

- Slowly.
- Okay.

There we go, boy.

That's it. Good boy.

[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

Okay. Ready?

- You're gonna trot now. Come on.
- No. I think I should get down.

- Oh my! Oh! Hey.
- [JEM LAUGHING]

Ah! Hey! Oh! My balls! My balls!

- Just tune into his rhythm.
- I'm riding. Okay.

Okay, there you go.
You're actually cantering.

- Okay? Yes!
- Okay.

I'm riding. I'm riding a horse.

[LAUGHING] Yes, you are.

We're moving your
mother to the mortuary.

You'll be able to see her soon.

Here are her belongings.

Do you think it's weird
if I finish the sweets?

She's hardly gonna
need them now, is she?

Can no one take a joke anymore?

Do you remember when Uncle Pat d*ed?

Um...

Yeah, kinda. His funeral was
the first time I had beer.

- You were eight.
- Yeah.

Uncle Pat's girlfriend gave it
to me. Now she could take a joke.

Remember?

I remember seeing him dead.
He didn't look like himself.

After that, I couldn't remember
what alive Uncle Pat looked like.

I don't think I can see Mum like that.

If that's okay.

Yeah.

All right. [CLEARS THROAT]

[SNORING]

- [KNOCK AT DOOR]
- [JEAN] Celia?

Sorry. I'll come back.

No. No, no, no, no. I'm
awake. Power napping.

Okay. [CHUCKLES]

Power napping. Come in.

Come in. Sit down. Sit
down, sit down. Sit down.

[JEAN SIGHS]

How about you turn around, bright eyes?

[CHUCKLES]

- I'm not moving. This is me for a bit.
- Oh, okay.

Okay.

We need to talk about
your last few shows.

- Yes.
- They have not been great.

I know they haven't been very good.

And, um, I am just finding my feet,

but I've done some extra prep,
and I think I've found a way in.

Probably a little bit late for that.

I'm afraid the big boss, Terry,
is a bit worried about the format.

He thinks it's flat.

So what I have done is...

I've found some guests who are going to

come and cohost with
you this week, okay?

- Right. What... what kind of guests?
- You know, sex people like yourself.

I've got one woman
who makes plaster casts

out of her own vag*na.

Um, look. I... I know that
I haven't been on form,

but I would really like the chance to

be able to work out how to do it myself.

I'm really sorry, Jean.

If it was up to me, absolutely.

I'm under a lot of
pressure to make this work.

It could loosen things
up. Could make it fun.

- You know, this could be a good thing.
- [KNOCKING]

- Hello!
- Oh. O!

That's her name, not an
exclamation. Come on in.

- O, this is Jean. O.
- Oh.

O... Jean, hi.

- O. Co-host.
- [JEAN] Uh...

Yeah. Oh, O-host!

You should, uh... check out her
channel. The videos are great.

Good. No. Remember to indicate.

Round there.

And... All right. Now
let's try a parallel park.

[PARKING BRAKE GRINDS]

How did your date go
with the, uh... teacher?

Uh... it, uh, wasn't the best.

[ADAM] What did you do?

Well, it's more what I
didn't do. [CLEARS THROAT]

- Did you let her pay for dinner?
- No.

I, uh... struggle, you know, sometimes

to get it going in
the penile department.

- Careful!
- Oh my God!

- [BRAKE CLICKS]
- Why did you tell me that?

Oh, the images. Jesus Christ!

- Sorry. I thought we tell stuff now.
- Not that! Never that.

- I thought you took Viagra.
- I do. It...

- Hang on. How did you know?
- We're not talking about that.

I'll go in. We'll never
talk about this again.

[SIGHS]

[DOOR SLAMS]

Good lesson. Sorry for
oversharing. Won't happen again.

I can't believe I'm gonna say this.

I... I think you've
got performance anxiety.

Thinking doesn't overcome fear.

Action does.

And never take more than one Viagra.

Your penis will explode.

[SNIFFS]

[SIGHS, CLEARS THROAT]

[LINE RINGING]

Gloria, it's Michael.

I've got the little blue
pills, and I'm feeling manly.

[MAEVE SIGHS]

[SEAN SIGHS SHAKILY]

Well, it's definitely Mum.

And she's definitely... dead.

[SIGHS SHAKILY] They
said that we can go.

I wanna finish my crossword.

It's just, uh... Mo is giving me a lift.

- And I kinda wanna get out of here.
- Mmm. It's okay. You can go. I'm fine.

Okay. Uh...

- What do you want me to tell your mates?
- Tell them I'll be out in a bit.

Okay. Uh...

- Call me if you need anything.
- Mm-hmm.

[SIGHS]

["ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH?"
BY FOUR TOPS PLAYING]

[TIMER RINGS]

♪ Are you man enough? ♪

♪ Big and bad enough? ♪

♪ Are you gonna let
'em sh**t your down? ♪

- ♪ When the evil flies... ♪
- Ready?

♪ And your brother cries... ♪

- Absolutely.
- ♪ Are you gonna be around? ♪

♪ Someone needs a friend ♪

- ♪ Just around the bend ♪
- ♪ Around the bend... ♪

- Oh!
- Oh!

[BOTH MOANING]

- ♪ Are you man enough? ♪
- [GLORIA] Oh God!

- ♪ When the going's rough? ♪
- Oh yes!

- Ooh! Ah!
- Ah!

- Oh!
- Ah!

- Ah! Ah!
- Christ!

Ah! Yeah!

- Oh!
- Ah!

Oh, uh... I'm so sorry.

I... I don't know why this is
happening. Oh, maybe it'll come back.

Uh...

Yeah, uh... I gotta pick up my
daughter from choir practice soon.

Uh... [GRUNTS]

- Oh... Uh...
- [GLORIA SIGHS]

- [DOOR CLOSES]
- [SIGHS]

Hi there. This is your
host, Dr. Jean Milburn.

- I love your mum.
- And joining me on Sexology tonight

is a brilliant young sex
educator and influencer, O.

[O] Wow, thank you so much.
That was a very warm welcome.

- No... No!
- [O] And quite a compliment from yourself!

I am so happy to be here. I
can't articulate that enough.

And I can't wait to take
some of these calls together.

- Otis.
- I mean...

I don't know about
yourself, but working out...

- [AIMEE] Hi.
- Hi. Um...

I'm gonna head off, uh,
but Maeve's still in there.

She's just finishing her crossword.

Okay. Is everythin' all right?

No, not really.

My mum d*ed.

- f*ck.
- Oh my God, Sean. I'm so sorry.

Should we go and get Maeve?

Um...

I wouldn't.

I'd just let her do her thing.

Do you wanna sit with us?

[SEAN] Uh...

[TENDER MUSIC PLAYING]

- No.
- [OTIS] You all right?

- Yeah. No, I'm fine.
- [AIMEE] Sure?

- [SEAN] Have a good day, guys.
- [CAR ENGINE STARTS]

["YES I DO" BY STEFANO RICHTER
AND GABRIELE MUSTAFA PLAYING]

Ooh!

Mum. Hello.

Eric, would you like to come and
help me at the soup kitchen tonight?

Oh... I can't. I'm going to Abbi's.

We're watching Jennifer's
Body and gonna do pedicures.

[GIGGLES]

But maybe next time.

♪ Yes I do, yes I do... ♪

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHUCKLES]

- [MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH HEADPHONES]
- [ERIC LAUGHING]

See this.

What? No. Oh my gosh.

[LAUGHTER]

Why do birds hate me?

Why are you laughing?

This is the second bird
that has pooed on me today.

That means you're very lucky.

Oh, well, dunno about that.

Can you spare some
change for a meal tonight?

Oh gosh. I don't have any cash on me.

But there is a soup kitchen
at the village hall tonight.

I don't know where that is. Show me?

I can't. I can't go dressed like this.

But, um... if you...
if you take this street,

take a left, you'll definitely find it.

Come on, lucky boy. You can
spare a few minutes of your time.

I... I am late, but, yes, we're walking.

Was there anyone I can call
for you to come and pick you up?

No, it's okay. I have a lift.

This is run by my church,
so you'll get a good meal.

Oh my gosh.

Uh... Ah.

Okay, so this is the soup kitchen.

I hope you have a great meal
tonight. I need to go, okay?

You're leaving?

- Yeah.
- This is where you belong.

[BEATRICE] Eric! You changed your mind.

What are you wearing?

I wasn't supposed to
be here, Mum, was I?

We are totally run off our feet.

[SIGHS, HEAVES]

Okay. I'll make a phone call.

Thank you, my son.

Hey, Abbi, so I'm helpin'
out at the village hall,

at the soup kitchen tonight, and they're

really short on staff, so I'm sorry.

Don't hate me.

All interpersonal
relationships have boundaries.

Now, they aren't often spoken about,

but they are mutually understood

to be limits within the relationship.

Now, if a person doesn't
know their own boundaries,

then that can cause
resentment in the relationship.

- The opposite...
- Uh...

Do you think maybe we
should go to a caller now?

Yes, that's a great idea. Thank you, O.

All right. We have Martin.

Martin, you're on the line.

[MICHAEL] Yes. Yes. Ahem...

[DEEP VOICE] Yes. Hello.

I was calling because
I was having relations

with a new lady friend,

and I was struggling to perform.

I used some Viagra, but it did nothing.

Is there a problem with my manhood?

Uh, for listeners who don't know,

Viagra is the brand name of sildenafil,

which is a medicine used
for erectile dysfunction.

Martin, this lady friend.

Could you tell us more
about that situation?

Well, I've, um... recently
separated from my wife.

I'm living in a new place, and
I've just started a new job.

Wow, sounds like a lot of change.

Well, I wonder if those two
things are maybe related?

And I'm getting the nod
here from Dr. Milburn, so...

Yes, uh, struggles with erections
can often be psychological.

So I think it's important
that you look at the emotional

as well as the physical.

Do you mind me asking where
your brain went during the sex?

I was thinking about my wife.

Sorry. My ex-wife.

I miss her. [CHUCKLES]

She's moved on, and I thought
if I could have a fling,

I might be able to move on too.

But it was humiliating
and made me feel pathetic,

like I'm not a real man.

Can I ask you a question?

Did the sex feel like you were cheating?

It did.

It felt like a betrayal.

[JEAN] I'm wondering, Martin,

if you might be someone
who just operates better

when you have a secure connection.

And when you do, your
penis functions properly.

Do you mean...

my penis has to be in love?

I think that you might
need to find a way

to cut all emotional ties with your ex

so that your penis is
free to let go and move on.

Okay. Okay.

[JEAN] And no doubt, your
manhood is still intact,

regardless of the blood
flow to your penis.

- Wow.
- [O] Thanks for your call, Martin.

- God, they're good together.
- [O] Let's go to another one.

- Oh. Sorry.
- [O] Next up, we have Susan.

- Hello, Susan.
- [SUSAN] Hi there.

I wanted to talk about role play.

Ta.

- All right, Savior, where do you want me?
- Hi! What are you doing here?

- You said you needed help.
- Are you sure? You really don't need to.

- Yeah, I want to.
- Yeah?

I used to do stuff like this
with my church all the time.

Okay. Well, my mum is over
there. She's in a blue jumper.

She's the boss. She'll tell
you everything you need to know.

- Okay?
- It's Abbi, Eric's friend.

- Oh, hello.
- It's so nice to meet you finally.

[WOMAN] How are those potatoes looking?

It's wonderful to have people
outside the church come to help.

It's just so sad we've lost our funding,

so this place will have to shut down.

Um... Sorry. Do you want some plantain?

- [MAN] Yes please.
- Yeah?

- Thank you.
- There you go. No worries.

Right. Okay. So...

[HEARTFELT MUSIC PLAYING]

[JEAN SIGHS]

It was a real pleasure, Dr. Milburn.

You too, O.

- She's great.
- Yeah.

And you did a lot
better, too, little fella.

See you next time?

- See you next time.
- Toodle pip.

[SIGHS]

["LONG TIME GONE" BY
BACHELORETTE PLAYING]

♪ Long ♪

♪ Time ♪

♪ Gone... ♪

[SIGHS]

♪ See how ♪

- ♪ We... ♪
- [RUSTLING]

♪ Hang on ♪

♪ To what? ♪

- [OPENS DOOR]
- ♪ Please ♪

- ♪ Give us... ♪
- Love, are you all right?

- Yeah, I finished the crossword.
- ♪ Nothing... ♪

- That's good.
- Yeah.

Mum d*ed.

- So...
- ♪ To grasp... ♪

We're here for you.

Whatever you need.

We should probably
head back and tell Anna.

[AIMEE] Of course,
yeah. Let's get you home.

♪ Hard ♪

♪ Times... ♪

[DOORBELL RINGS]

♪ Come thick and fast... ♪

Hello, Martin.

[SIGHS]

- I heard you on the radio.
- ♪ Let ♪

- ♪ Them... ♪
- Oh, God.

- Oh, this is so confusing.
- ♪ Float ♪

♪ Past... ♪

I miss you too.

[MAUREEN SOBS]

[OTIS] What are you eating?

I always eat a Peperami before bed.

Aimes, that's disgusting.

Oh. Sorry, it's nearly done.

[SNORTS]

Mmm.

[PHONE CHIMES]

["DEDICATED TO THE ONE I LOVE"
BY THE MAMAS & THE PAPAS PLAYING]

[DOG SNORING]

- ♪ While I'm far away from you, my baby... ♪
- [SIGHS]

- ♪ I know it's hard for you, my baby... ♪
- [SIGHS]

- ♪ Because it's hard for me... ♪
- Night, pet. Love you.

- Night, love you.
- ♪ My baby ♪

♪ And the darkest hour... ♪

- Night, guys.
- ♪ Is just before dawn ♪

♪ Each night before
you go to bed, my baby ♪

♪ Whisper a little prayer for me ♪

- ♪ My baby ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪

♪ And tell all the stars above ♪

- ♪ This is dedicated to the one I love ♪
- ♪ Love can never be ♪

♪ Exactly like we want it to be ♪

♪ I could be satisfied ♪

♪ Knowing you love me ♪

♪ And there's one
thing I want you to do ♪

♪ Especially for me ♪

♪ And it's something ♪

♪ That everybody needs

♪ While I'm far away from you, my baby ♪

♪ Whisper a little prayer for me ♪

- ♪ My baby ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Because it's hard for me, my baby ♪

♪ And the darkest hour
is just before dawn ♪