03x07 - Mason's Rats

[bunniefuu]

[opening theme music playing]

[electronic warbling]

[bagpipe music playing]

[vehicle whirring]

[chickens clucking]

[liquid pouring]


- [rats squeaking]


- [man groaning]

I see ya, ya twitty wee shite.

[vehicles whirring]

[man]

Bloody hell.

[cat screeches]


- [cat scurrying]


- Hey!
- [hissing]


- [g*n f*ring]

Take that, ya nasty bastard.

[ominous music playing]

What the f*ck is that? [suspenseful music playing]

[phone beeping]

Aye, it's Mason.

Do you know a good pest control company? [music fades]

Yeah.

Mm
-hmm.

Yeah.

Oh.

Right.

Well, no need to worry, Mr.

Mason.

Traptech can solve your little rat problem.

Little? It's an armed rat f*cking rebellion, is what it is.


- [chuckling]

Well, no.


- [cat purring]

We're seeing quite a lot of this lately, Mr.

Mason.

Evolution, you see.

Humanity is warping the environment, forcing the animal kingdom to adapt, et cetera, et cetera.

A certain level of tool use is nothing to worry about.

Aye, aye.

Less Darwinian theory, more rodent
-k*lling hardware.


- Allow me to introduce the TT6.


- [dramatic music playing]

A fixed
-position, guided pulse laser with sensors that can zero a woodlouse at a kilometer.

The very latest in Traptech
-nology.

With just four of these k*lling machines in each barn, and you really can "Fire and Forget.

" [sighing heavily]

How much? Do I really need all this shite? Is this not a bit f*cking overkill? Well, you can't be too careful when it comes to pest control, Mr.

Mason.


- And Barn One systems are online.


- [electronic trilling]

[electronic warbling]

Oh! We've got a k*ll already.

[chuckling]

How about that? Look at that.

[cat meowing]

Ah, yes.

We do advise that you keep other animals clear of the k*ll zone.


- Her name was Susan.


- [melancholy music playing]

[voice breaking]

And I'll be expecting a discount for that.

[thudding]

[g*ns zapping]

[dramatic music playing]

[Mason chuckling]

[g*ns zapping]


- [g*n zapping continues]


- [Mason chuckling]

Fire and forget.

[alarm blaring]

[electronic buzzing]

[Mason]

Hmm? What the f*ck? You clever little bastard.

[music fades]

Hmm.

I was worried this might happen.

Well, Mr.

Mason, there's only one thing for it.

We're gonna have to go mobile.

The all new TT
-15 with gas
-cooled auto
-cannon, armored chassis, and the same targeting tech that navy drones carry.

Now that is what I call tool use.

[sighing heavily]

How much? [man]

Right, well, we've recovered four of the TT6s, but it says here you had five.

Ah, well, f*cking rats trashed them.

[sighing]

I'm afraid I'll still have to report them missing.

[man]

Good luck with that TT
-15! [Mason straining]

[grunting, groaning]

[clattering]

[electronic warbling]

[ominous music playing]

Bloody hell.



f*ck.

[g*ns f*ring]

[Mason]

Oh, um, thank you.

Carry on.

Good boy.

[dramatic music playing]

[yawning]

Bloody hell.

Welcome to the ratpocalypse.

[g*ns f*ring]


- [suspenseful music playing]


- [rat yelping]

[rats screaming]

[squelching]

[rat moaning]

[rat screaming]

Christ on a bike.

[g*ns f*ring]

[g*ns zapping]

Ah, f*cking f*ck.

[intense music playing]

[rats squeaking]

[g*ns zapping]

[rat yelling]

[rat yelling]

[g*ns zapping]

[rats yelling]

[g*ns zapping]

[rat screaming]

[music reaches crescendo]

[music stops]

[clattering]

[sizzling]

[somber music playing]

[Mason]

Christ.

Like World w*r f*cking IV.



[suspenseful music playing]

[heart b*ating]

[suspenseful music swelling]

[g*n f*ring]

[electronic warbling]

Take that, you nasty bastard.

[rats squeaking]

[uplifting music playing]

[handle squeaking]

[rat squeaking]

I salute your courage, sir.


- [rat squeaking]


- [slurping]

[coughing]

Ugh.

[coughing]

Bloody hell.

[hoarsely]

That's good.

So good.

[rats squeaking]

[dramatic bagpipe music playing]

[phone beeping]

[Mason]

Customer service, please.

Hello, this is Mason.

[chuckling]

Aye, that's right.

That one.

Yeah.

I just need to cancel a check.

[chuckling]

[music fades]

[electronic warbling]

[closing theme music playing]

[music fades]