01x09 - Smile and Say Oblina / The Great Wave

[bunniefuu]

[Bell tolling]

[Thunder booming]

[Sinister music]

[Door creaks]

[Thunder booming]

[Owl hooting]

- [Yelps]

[All gasp]

- [Yells]

[Baby crying]

- [Growls]

- [Screams]

[All screaming]

[Crowd cheering]

- [Gasps]

- [Laughs]

- That tears it!

[Thunder booming]

[Record scratches]

- [Chuckles]

[Mouse squeaks]

- [Grunting]

[All cheering]

- Hey, hey,

Yo, ho, ho, ho!

Ta-da!

Ha, ha.

Bleagh!

- That gludge is awesome.

- Yes, he is

Awesome.

- What is so grea

About gludge, huh?

You'’d think nobody ever scared

An olympic weight lifting team

Before.

[Bell ringing]

Crowd:

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

- Hey, huh, ohh!

Crowd: yay!

[Buzzer blares]

[Whistle screams]

[Crowd cheering]

- Is he not perfectly hideous?

- He'’s perfectly something.

- Why don'’t you go over to him?

- He'’s surrounded.

He'’ll never notice me.

- Oh, oh, oh.

Take away his popularity,

His looks,

His great scaring technique,

And what do you have, hmm?

- You.

- You'’re not afraid

To talk to ickis.

- [Sighs]

Oh, you'’re right.

I'’m going over there.

Why should I be nervous?

After all,

Gludge is a monster

Just like any other monster.

[Indistinct chatter]

Move.

- [Sniffs]

Here.

For you.

- Oh, I'’m sure I couldn'’t.

- Of course you could.

- [Sniffs]

[Sighs]

Did you see that?

He likes me!

- Oh, one moldy towel,

And you'’re all swoony.

Aren'’t you getting

A little ahead of yourself here?

- Today a towel,

Tomorrow

A towel rack.

[All yawning]

Can you believe it?

Gludge finally notices me,

And I have to get braces

Tomorrow.

- You should'’ve never brushed

Your teeth 30 years ago.

- Yeah, and you floss too.

- Just once!

To see what it felt like.

- Well, you'’re paying

For it now, aren'’t you?

See?

They'’re sparkling.

So straight.

- You'’re right.

[Sobbing]

- [Snoring]

- [Sniffs]

Good night,

You rancid little charmer.

[Metal rattling]

- Beautiful screamer

[Humming]

- Do you really think braces

Are necessary?

Couldn'’t we try something

A little less severe?

- You want a smile that beams

Or one that'’s truly repulsive?

- Well--

- This won'’t hurt a bit.

I love saying that.

[Metal clanging,

Drills whirring]

[Welding torch crackling]

So, oblina,

How do you like school?

- [Mumbling]

- Uh-huh.

Ah, and the gromble,

How is that old codger doing?

- [Mumbling]

- Of course he is.

Just a few more minutes,

And I'’ll be all done.

- [Screams]

- Ta-da!

Ah,

And to think they said

I'’d never make I

Through dental school.

- You cannot be serious!

I cannot talk.

I cannot see.

I look stupid.

- You look fabulous.

- I look ridiculous.

- True.

But in two weeks,

You'’ll look fabulous.

- Two weeks?

Two weeks!

I want them off now!

- No can do.

[Clock ticking]

- It'’s so shiny.

- And big--

Very, very big.

- It'’s just awful,

Isn'’t it?

- I like it.

- Awful? No.

I wouldn'’t call it awful.

But it definitely

Makes a statement.

- [Sniffles]

Really?

- Oh, sure, sure.

It says, um--

It says,

"This is a monster

Who'’s gonna have

The most crooked teeth around."

Eventually.

- I hate them!

I look like

A household appliance.

- I like appliances.

- Oh, oblina,

It'’s just your teeth.

I think you'’re griping

Entirely too much here.

- I do not need a lecture!

I need help!

[Screams]

[Yelps]

[Muffled]

How do they look now?

- Oh, oh, oh.

[Chuckles]

No one will ever notice.

[Laughter]

[Metal creaking]

- [Chuckles]

All right, don'’t I know you?

- I'’m

Oblina.

- Wow.

You look really putrid.

- Thank you.

- Hmm,

You'’re probably busy,

A loathsome little package

Like you,

But hey,

If you'’re no

Doing anything tonight,

Maybe you'’d like to--

- I'’d love to!

- Great.

I think we could have some fun.

- I love fun!

- It'’ll be magic.

- I love magic!

- I'’ll pick you up later.

- Oh, I love later.

See you then, gludge.

Toody-loo.

- Oh, oh,

And, oblina

- Yes, gludge?

- Please be sure

To give those braces

A good polish.

- [Laughing]

Oh!

- That one.

Trust me.

I know these things.

- Ooh!

[Laughs]

[Squeals]

- Oh, why does he have

To come in here?

Why? Why? Why?

I hate that he'’s coming in here.

He'’ll strut around,

Flex his muscles.

It'’s a small room.

- Tonight I shall show gludgey

The scare of his life.

- You'’re taking him scaring?

- Why not?

I want to make an impression.

[Knock at door]

[Groaning]

[Sighs]

Shing!

- Ooh, looking sharp.

- Thank you.

- Do you mind

If I walk backwards?

Well, you see, this way,

I can look at you all night.

- I love all night.

- Ah, this stinks

Like a nice spot.

What do you say

We plant ourselves,

Break open a few hefty bags,

And you could tell me

What you really think about me?

[Grunts]

[Burps]

- Sounds lovely, gludgey,

But I thought we could

Spend the night scaring.

- Scaring?

[Laughs]

Why?

- Oh, I don'’t know.

You, me,

A few humans

Screaming in the night--

Doesn'’t that sound marvelous?

- Sure, it does.

But hey,

What'’s wrong with staying here?

There'’s plenty to eat and--

- And there'’s nothing

Like a good scare.

- Why don'’t we

Go down to the pits

And watch the tar bubbles pop?

- Come on!

We'’re going scaring.

How about if I hide

In one of those machines,

You climb up there

And wait for my signal?

- Better yet,

You scare '’em, and I'’ll watch.

- You don'’t want to do this?

- I told you

I'’m just not into it tonight.

- Oh, well,

If you really don'’t want to.

It'’s--it'’s me, isn'’t it?

[Crying]

- Hey, hey,

Do you have to do that?

- [Crying]

- Look, generally,

It would be you.

But in this case, it'’s--

It'’s--

[Sobbing]

It'’s me.

- You?

But you are the best.

Everyone still talks

About how you terrorized

Those weight lifters.

- Oh,

That was just a lucky scare.

- You just stopped trying.

That'’s all.

- Why should I try when I know

I can never top myself?

[Sniffles]

If only I weren'’t so fabulous,

Ooh,

I could be even more fabulous.

- It is not about that.

Turning a human

Into a mass of quaking jelly

Is supposed to be fun.

- [Sniffles]

What if I mess it up?

- Then you try again!

You don'’t have to be perfect.

[Roars]

- [Babbling]

- [Screams]

- [Howls]

[Laughs]

[Door slams]

- What is going on?

- I had the greatest time--

Just great!

Gludge was great,

And I was great,

And we were great!

- Great.

What does a guy have to do

To get some sleep around here?

- Guess why he'’s so great.

Guess.

Can'’t you guess?

Never mind.

I'’ll tell you!

- I'’m out of here.

- Ditto.

- Fine!

Then I'’ll just tell you.

First, he'’s absolutely hideous.

Second, he'’s--

Oh, you'’re dead.

[Chuckles]

Well,

I won'’t hold that against you.

Second, he'’s entirely gross.

Third, he'’s stinky.

Doo, doo, doo,

Nuh, nuh, nuh ♪

[Knock at door]

So what do you think?

- What happened to your braces?

- I just got them off!

Are my teeth grotesque?

- Well, yeah.

Uh

Amblina--

- Oblina.

- Whatever.

Um, some--something--

Something came up.

So I'’m not taking you

To the party.

You know,

Something kind of important,

So I guess, uh,

I'’ll be seeing you.

- What?

- Now,

That'’s what I call a vision.

[Laughs]

- [Sniffles]

He'’s gone.

- Don'’t let it get you down.

- Yeah, he'’s a bum.

- [Sniffles]

Oh,

He only liked me for my

Braces.

- Oh, well, what did you expect,

A shallow guy like that?

He never saw

The real oblina.

No, no, no.

That putrid mass of corruption

That is just uniquely you.

- [Gasps]

You think so?

- Absolutely.

- Whatever he said.

- Oh, thank you, guys.

It is really grea

Having friends like you.

- Like him or like me?

[Glass shattering]

[Rumbling]

- [Gulping]

[Water splashing]

[Rumbling]

- [Squeals]

[Both shouting]

- Okay.

Uh, hard right.

Hard right.

Keep going.

Keep going.

[Gasps]

[Both yelling]

I don'’t know how you do it.

Aren'’t you scared?

- Nah, I know this course

Like the hair on my pits.

[Dissonant guitar strum]

- Oh, you are gonna be

The champ.

I can feel it!

When the great wave arrives,

The others are just gonna

Eat your crust.

- What about the snorch?

- Oh, it'’s not fair.

The snorch

Shouldn'’t be in the race.

- You'’re gonna tell him that?

- No.

Oh, who cares about the snorch?

You are gonna be

At that finish line

Before he can scrape the mold

Out of his belly button.

[Laughs]

[Winch creaking]

- Voila.

Completely and thoroughly

Disgusting.

Bon appetit.

- [Snorting]

- Snorchy-poodles,

You missed a spot.

cr*ck!

Marvelous.

Now that your engine

Is stoked,

Let'’s begin your exercises.

- Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

- Close your eyes.

Let the slime ooze

From your pores.

- [Snores]

- That'’s it, my friend.

Become one

With your surroundings.

Bathe in your own repugnance.

Now,

Repeat after me.

I will be champion.

- [Groans]

- I am ready for the coming

Of the great wave!

- [Groans]

- Eccellente.

I will crush my challengers

Like flowers in spring.

- [Groans]

- Reminder:

It'’s importan

To always

Keep your

Focus!

- [Screams]

[Fly buzzing]

- [Clearing throat]

Due to an unfortunate accident,

Our reigning champion,

The snorch,

Will be unable to compete

In the annual riding

Of the great wave.

- [Gasps]

Startling.

- Yes!

Say hello to the new champion.

- Silence!

Now, with the snorch

Out of the competition,

I have the delectable

Responsibility

Of choosing a replacement.

Let me see.

Who among you

Would benefit the mos

From a little competition?

- I wonder

Who he'’s going to pick.

- Ah, it doesn'’t matter.

With the snorch gone,

There'’s no way I can lose.

- Are you not being

A bit presumptuous?

The gromble may very well choose

A superb athlete.

- Oh, maybe you'’re right.

- Mm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Ickis!

- [Gasps]

- You'’ll make

A fine replacement.

- Then again

[Laughs]

[Imitating crowd cheering]

Oh, please, please,

No more applause. No more.

First, I would to thank my fans

And my fellow competitors.

I can only say

You never had a chance!

[Imitating crowd cheering]

- Oh, krumm,

You have been practicing

That speech for hours.

Go to bed!

- Yeah!

Some of us

Would like to get some sleep.

- But I'’m gonna be champion.

- How can you be sure

You are going to win?

- Who'’s gonna b*at me?

[Laughs]

- Five toenails on krumm.

- Eight worms and a leech

On krumm.

- 15 Maggots on ickis

To lose.

- [Sighs]

Krumm this, krumm that--

I do not see

What the big deal is.

Why did the gromble

Have to pick me?

- That is no

A very good attitude.

- Yeah, well, but it'’s true.

I haven'’t got a chance.

- Right now, you do not.

But with a little training,

You could be the next champion.

You know, you have the advantage

Over everyone else.

They all expect you to lose,

Right?

- Yeah. So?

- So if you train hard

And have a positive attitude,

You can take the others

By complete surprise.

- Well, gee, I never

Thought about it like that.

[Laughs]

Maybe I do have a chance.

- There'’s the spirit!

- I am gonna start training

Right now.

[Groaning]

[Fly buzzing]

[Yelps]

[Grunting]

cr*ck!

- [Roars]

- [Screams]

[Grunting]

[Fly buzzing]

[Yells]

[Yelping]

[Fly buzzing]

- [Humming]

Chomp! Gulp!

[Laughs]

Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

When the great wave arrives,

Everyone'’s gonna be in

For a big surprise.

[Chuckling]

[Squeals]

Well,

Here goes.

[Screaming]

Ow! Ow! Ow!

[Babbling]

Whoa!

- Ickis,

What are you doing here?

- [Cackling]

I was--i was jus

Looking for pool gunk.

What are you doing here?

- What?

You think you'’re the only one

Who likes pool gunk?

Chomp!

- Who are you kidding?

You'’re training

For the big wave.

What'’s the matter?

Afraid of the competition?

- Who should I be scared of?

I'’m just doing

Some fine-tuning,

You know,

So I can set a new record.

- Don'’t count on it.

- See you at the finish line.

- Maybe.

[Indistinct chatter]

- Slugs!

Worms!

Slime-coated leeches!

Get them

While they'’re still squirming!

- [Grunting]

Chomp! Gulp!

- Welcome to the annual riding

Of the great wave.

Crowd:

Great wave! Great wave!

Great wave! Great wave!

Great wave!

- Before we begin,

I'’d like to remind you

That anyone caught drooling

In the no-slime section

Will be promptly ejected

From the stadium!

- [Slurps]

[Laughs]

Whoa!

- Please direct your attention

To the center of the field.

[Dissonant fanfare]

- [Grunting]

[Crowd cheering]

- Now for the momen

We'’ve all been waiting for.

Crowd:

Great wave! Great wave!

Great wave! Great wave!

Great wave! Great--

- Quiet!

Oh, I do love this job so.

Competitors, to your stations!

[Electronic whirring]

- Boy, oh, boy,

This is a lot of pressure.

- [Grunts]

Pressure'’s my middle name.

- Signora,may I offer you

Something to ride upon?

- No, thanks.

I have my own.

Bleagh!

- Good gracious.

- Hang 17.

[Laughs]

- Good luck.

- Thanks, krumm.

- You'’ll need it.

[Laughs]

[Air horn blares]

[Men grunting]

[Whistle blows]

- It'’s halftime

Here at super bowl xxvii,

And buffalo'’s still in the game.

Now stay tuned

For our exciting halftime show

Featuring those wacky

Singing raisins!

[Toilets flushing]

[Rumbling]

- Let the sewers flow!

- Smell ya later, krumm!

[Surf rock music]

- Left at the fork.

- [Groans]

Ah, a shortcut.

- Go, ickis!

Go, krumm!

Go, ickis!

Go, krumm!

- [Yells]

- [Gasps]

- [Gasps]

- Help!

[Babbling]

[Coughing]

Ickis

You could'’ve won the race.

- Yeah, probably.

- [Coughs]

You would'’ve been champion.

- I know.

- I owe you one.

- Ah, you would'’ve done

The same for me.

[Crowd cheering]

- Ickis,

That was absolutely wonderful.

I have never seen

Such a display of courage!

Mwah!

- You did it!

You finished in one piece!

- I'’m proud of you, son.

- Thanks, dad.

- I'’d like to present--

Crowd:

Ickis! Ickis!

- I'’d like to present vloreena--

Thank you--

With the championship trophy

And congratulate her

On a really terrific race.

Crowd:

Ickis! Ickis!

Ickis! Ickis!

- It was a close one

Right down to the wire!

But in the end--

Crowd:

Ickis! Ickis!

- [Shouting]

As I was saying

I'’d like to present this trophy

To vloreena,

But I'’d also like to present I

To ickis

For demonstrating true spiri

In the face of adversity.

[Grunts]

[Crowd cheering]

Crowd:

Ickis! Vloreena!

Ickis! Vloreena!

Ickis!

Vloreena!

[Horn blares]

- Huh.

I wonder who won.

- Good gracious.

- Toody-loo.