01x07 - Enter the Daggett/Bugaboo

[bunniefuu]

♪ A-a-a-angry beavers ♪

♪ Beavers. ♪

( Gong chiming )

( Rumbling )

Ha! Sensei cannot
help you now!

( All laughing )

Remember,
ho-san.

Remember that headband
thingy I taught you.

( Kiaiing )

( Munching loudly )

( Karate yells )

( Weak karate yells )

( Grunting )

( Honking )

( Thud )

Ah, a water gourd!

Sensei will be pleased!

( Laughing )

All that kicking
and screaming.

What a waste
of energy.

I would have just
given those guys

A swipe with the
old claws, baby.

Right. You know what I'd do?

I would have sent
those guys running

With a flash of
my pearly whites.

You know what I'd do?

Disembodied voice:
I got one word...

( Snickering )

Camouflage.

( Chuckling )

( Grunts )

Let me tell you
what I'd do!

Yeah! You'd run away

And hide in your pond.

( Everyone laughing )

Darn right!

Hey, no I wouldn't!

I'd whip those guys

With my tail tied
behind my back!

( Everyone laughing )

No, dagge-san,
you'd run.

And so would i.

That's what
beavers do.

It's our
natural instinct.

Yeah! So why
don't you go

Run to your
pond and hide

Before you get hurt,
little beaver.

( All laughing )

Oh, yeah?

Well, I don't
have instincts.

Yeah?

Gulp.

Yeah.

( Laughing gruffly )

Okay, beaver.
It's go time.

( Chicken squawks )

I'm a coward.

I'm a wimpy,
simpering coward.

Of course you are.
You're a beaver.

We run and hide,
it's our best defense.

Otherwise, we
get pulverized.

Why would we want to fight

When we're so good
at running away?

Running and hiding
is what we do best.

Well, it's not what
I do best, brother!

"Hey, skinny,
when trouble comes

Do your run and hide
like a beaver?"

Yeah, I do.

"Yesterday, everyone
made fun of me.

"But since I ordered
ninja-robics

I've become the
silent wind of doom."

This is it!

( Laughs )

( Snorting, panting )

( With japanese accent ):
greetings, committed
and diligent student.

The martial arts require many
years of patience and practice.

Yeah, yah, show me
the good stuff.

Now we're talking!

Waaa!

I am the silent wind of doom.

( Whooshing )

Oh, brother.

The silent wind of dumb
is more like it.

The ninja strikes silently
without warning.

Like cobra...

Like... The flu.

( Karate yells )

Behold my power!

( Gasps )

The ninja freezes his attacker

With the gaze of a thousand
unfriendly poodles.

As he slowly moves in
for the final blow...

Yahoo?

( Screams )

The silent
wind of doom

Blows with fury tonight.

Shh!

( Grumbling )

( Karate yell )

( Gasps, screams )

I guess you can't run

If you can't see
where you're going.

Hey, you're right!

I didn't run,
did i?

Right... You tripped.

Yeah, but I
didn't run!

Nope.

I didn't run!

I'm no longer
a scaredy-beaver anymore.

( Loud karate yell )

Watch out, animal kingdom!

Or feel the fury of...
The silent wind of doom!

Whoosh!

Oh, boy.

This is not good.

( Bees buzzing )

( Sighs in contentment )

( Kiaiing )

I am the silent wind
of doom... Whoosh!

I shall crush you

With my windy blows!

( Panting )

( Snorting )

( Cackling )

Yes!

You'd better run,
you big scaredy-bear!

For I am ninja-dag!

Aha!

Do you wish to fight me, too,
great wolf?

Then feel my wrath!

( Kiaiing )

Now we finish it!

( Snoring )

Ha! Knocked out cold!

A valiant effort,
my worthy opponent.

Unfortunately, my ninja power
is too great for you.

Hoo-waah!

You are right to fear
the silent wind of doom...

Whoosh!

Why, look!

It's the angry little shrew.

Still want
to fight me, shrimp?

( Grumbles )

Hello?

Don't tell me
you didn't hear me.

How could you
miss anything

With those
ping-pong paddle

Satellite-dish,
soup-spoon ears?

( Angry grunt )

All right, sap-layer

Let's put up...

Well, I think we've all learned
a valuable lesson here...

Let me at him!

I want a piece of him!

If this silent wind of doom,
whoosh!, Works...

You got to
see this, norb...

I think you
proved your point!

You didn't run.

You're a ninja,
not a beaver!

Everyone's really scared of you!

Now, why don't we
just call it a day?

I don't care if you did
pay me a dollar

Not to fight your brother.

Uh...

He made fun of my ears!

You paid them not
to fight me, norbie-san?

No, I paid them
not to pulverize you!

What else was
I going to do?

You didn't stand a chance.

A beaver's a beaver!

He either runs...
Or he gets a whooping.

Well, not me!

I'm fearless ninja-dag!

Do you hear me?

I'll prove it to you.

Hey, you big, dumb
ugly doofuses!

I'll pay two bucks
to anyone who fights me!

Whoosh!

Two bucks?

Two bucks?

Daggett, get ready to tumble.

Learn to breathe
like the ginkgo flower.

Yeah, yeah... What else?

Clear your mind
of whimsy.

No, the other stuff!

Lesson 3,752...

The silent wind of doom...
Whoosh!

Also known
as the headbd thingy.

That's it!

Wax on!

Wax off!

( Laughing and growling )

( Shrieks )

Dag?

It's safe.

You can come out now.

We really should clean
under there more often, norbie.

Boy, is it dirty.

Dag, there's no reason
to be ashamed.

You were just
being a beaver.

There's nothing
wrong with that.

Yes, sir, when
a beaver's in his dam

Nobody can get him.

Hey, you're right.

Mm-hmm.

Nobody can get me.

That means I can say
whatever I want

And they can't get me!

Oh, boy.

Hey, all you stupid,
spooty animals!

I'm not scared of you!

You can all go jump off a cliff!

This is great, norbie!

I can say whatever I want,
and there's...

Nothing they can do.

I put some bubble bath
in the tub.

Thanks.

Will you read me
a story?

Not that one.

( Owl hooting )

( Loon crying )

( Belching deeply )

Yahoo!

Can't... Drink any more.

Must sleep now.

( Gulping )

Ah! Man, I love
this new and improved yahoo!

Great new taste and extra
high-powered vita-stuff

To help you grow!

I could drink it all night.

Hey, what do you think
this means, norb?

"Warning-- keep out of reach
of insects."

It means turn out the lights

So your brother can sleep.

Okay, okay, jeez.

Good night.

( Gulping )

Ah! Mm...

( Sighs, snores )

( Slurps )

( Cricket chirping )

What's that?

Norbert?

( Panting )

Norbie? Psst...

Did you hear it?

( Cricket chirping... )

It's in the house!

It's just a cricket.

Now go back to sleep.

Go back to sleep?

It's... A cricket!

They're humongous!

They're hideous!

With long twitchy

Oogy feeler-thingies!

Ever seen
a cricket?

Well...

No.

But I don't need to.

They've got 16 billion eyes.

They sh**t death-rays, norbie.

They burn holes
through your body.

And itchy, scratchy legs!

Scratchy.

And norbie...

Acid-spitting
crusty mouths of doom!

Dag, crickets don't have ti...?!

Wait a minute!

Where'd all those eyeballs
come from?

( Daggett screams )

There's billions of them!

Where?
Where?
Where?!

Right there
above the acid mouth of doom!

( Gasping )
( laughing )

D-d-d-do something, norbie.

I can't.

The humongously long, twitchy,
oogly feeler-thingies

Have got me!

( Screeching )

( Snickering ):
sorry, couldn't resist.

Good one, huh?

( Thump overhead )

Dag?

Dag? Where'd you go?

( Whimpering, rattling )

Mm.

Sorry.
I was just funning you.

Really, there's nothing
to be afraid of.

Crickets don't
have death-rays

Or acid-mouths
of doom.

Or oogy feeler-thingies?

Uh-uh.

Or itchy,
scratchy legs?

Well, yes...

But they're
not humongous giants.

Crickets are just
itty-bitty

Eeny-beeny
little bugs

Couldn't hurt a fly.

( Whimpering ):
are you sure?

I'm sure.

But that
horrible noise.

It's just mr. Cricket's
music of the night.

Oh.

You hear what
he's saying?

Chirp-chirp--
I wouldn't
hurt a fly.

Chirp-chirp--
specially not daggett.

Chirp-chirp--
I want to be your friend.

Oh.

Doesn't that make you
feel better?

Good. Go to sleep.

( Cricket chirps )

( Chirps again )

( Slurps )

( Chirps )

( Loud chirping... )

It's the music of the night.

Just music of the night.

Mr. Cricket is my friend.

( Chirp )

( Screaming )

( Teeth chattering )

( Gasping )

Cricket!

Huge cricket!

Chirping, giant!

( Panting )

You lied.

It's a humongoid
cricket!

It's after me!

Oh, dag, get ahold
of yourself.

Nothing is after you.

( Screeching ):
ooh!

( Rattling )

That's it-- I'm going
downstairs right now

And proving to you
once and for all

Crickets are
perfectly harmless.

You don't need me
for that, do you?

Hey! Eh-eh-eh!
( Grunting )

Oh!

( Crashing )

( Chirps loudly )

( Screaming )

It's a herd of
monster crickets!

Run for
your life!

Heh-eh-eh!

No, dag.

It was a giant
herd of shadows.

( Gasps ) now calm down.

Let's find
the little guy

So I can get
some sleep, please.

Hey, listen.

Hmm?

No chirping.

Guess the cricket
bugged out.

( Laughing )

We can go back to bed.

Not so fast,
bug-a-boy.

He's down here somewhere.

( Shrieking )

( Babbling )

Hey, what's
the big idea?

Look!

Giant death-rays!

Acid-mouth!

Feelers!

( Chirps )

Ah-ha.

There you are.

I'll get--

Got you...

Missed.

Watch it, norbie.

Dog-dang...
Dumb cricket.

Oh, spoot!

He's under the couch.

Hey, dag, quit your blabbering
and give me a hand.

Don't do it, norb!

He'll acid-lip you!

Daggett, don't! Wait!

What are you doing?

You sad little beaver.

How many times
do I have to tell you?

There is no giant cricket!

Yes, there is!

Eek!

( Shrieking )

( Daggett pants )

It's, it's....

It's in the closet!

That's it.

I've had enough.

I'm going to end this
once and for all.

Come out, come out,
wherever you are.

Daggett:
a big bug wearing clothes.

( Screaming )
dag, for the last time

Will you give it a rest?

Aw! Ooh!

Thanks.

( Chirps )

Giant cricket! Giant cricket!

Get it off me!
Get it off me!

( Laughing )

There's your
giant cricket.

Woo! Scary giant cricket.

Ooh, help!

It's going
to sh**t me

With its death-rays.

But-but-but...

It was
giganteroid.

Humongerous.

Uh-huh.

In the closet--
it was nuts!

No, you're nuts!

As you can see

By the way he fits
into an empty bottle

Of new improved yahoo

With extra vita-stuff
to help you grow

Crickets are itty-bitty

Teeny-tiny...

Uh, norb.

Let me finish, dag.

Eeny-meeny, shrinky-dinky
little bugs

That wouldn't hurt a fly.

( Glass breaking )

"Warning--

Keep out of reach
of insects."

So that's what
the warning means.

( All shrieking )

Daggett:
eh-eh-eh-eh!

( Norbert pants )

Eh-eh-eh-eh!

( All shriek )

( Squeaking )

Eh-eh! Ooh! Ooh!

Run! Run!

Ah! Ooh! Ooh!

( Humming )

( Babbling )

( Squeaks )

( Both scream )

( Crashing, clattering )

Where'd he go?

You think he's gone?

Whoa!

Hold on, dag!

Daggett:
I'm holding! I'm holding! Whoo!

( Crashing )

( Squeaking )

That's it.

The cricket
is history!

How are you going to
get rid of it?

How does anyone
get rid of a cricket?

( Rattling door )

( Rattling and banging )

( Big thump )

( Thump )

( Shivering )

( Rattling )

( Scratching at door )

Ha!

Ha! We got you cornered!

There's no escape now

Mr. Scare-me-in-the-middle
of-the-night.

( Squeaking )

( Screeching )

( Cricket whimpering )

( Whimpering... )

( Whimpering... )

Wait! I recognize that sound.

I think he's scared.

No! It's a trick!

He's faking.

No! No one can
fake that sound.

It comes straight
from the heart.

It's the sound...

♪ Bum-bum-bum ♪

...of fear.

( Whimpering pathetically )

It's okay,
it's okay.

Well, you're nothing but
a big old scaredy-cricket

Aren't you, boy?

Just like I was a big
old scaredy-beaver.

( Panting )

( Screaming )

( Chirping )

( Chirps )

( Owl hoots )

There you go, mr. Cricket.

Be free

To make your music of the night.

( Chirping )

And now

Let's make sure we
never have to face

This horror ever again.

( Both yawning )

Norbert:
did you take care
of those bottles?

Daggett:
yep, put them outside
in the recycling bin

Just like you said.

No more humongo
crickets in our house.

Mm, good, good.

Good, good, good

Good.

( Crickets chirping )

( Slurping )

Norbert:
of course, you remembered

To put the lid
on the recycling bin

Didn't you, dag?

( Daggett gulps )
lid?

Norbert:
you idiot.

Daggett:
you didn't say
anything about a lid.

Norbert:
what kind of brains
do you have?

I suppose
it's my fault?

You never
finish your job.

Yeah, but...

You start a job,
but never finish it...