02x11 - If You Insisters/Alley Oops!

[bunniefuu]

♪ A-a-a-angry beavers ♪

♪ Beavers. ♪

Norbert:
no, dag.

Things have to
be in structural order

No, they don'.
Or kids do not
know how to react.

It says here that we have to
clean everything up.

This place is a mess.

Hello, hello?

Can I get some
help hee, please?

Raising childen is not easy,
and it's not easy alone.

( Car horn honks )

Ooh! They're here!

Let's go, get ready.

Remember,
the schedule.

Schedule.
Keeping kids on a schedule

Is tress, tress,
mucho grande impor-tan-te.

( Panting )

Oh, boy, oh, boy...

Ourlittle sisters
are here for the weekend.

Stacy.

Brother norbie!

Hey, hey, hey.

h*nky-poo.

( Muttering )

Um, bag.

Um, get.

Ooh!

Little chelsea,
come to daggie-waggy.

( Thump )
ooh! Ooh!

Whee!

( Car hgrn beeps )

Daggett:
don't worry, child expert here.

Situaion... Under control.

( Squeaking )

Listen up!

This'll be good.

This is beaver sister
control center.

But isn't this
the kitchen?

( Laughing )
b*rned you.

You stand in the corner,
norbert.

Yes, sweetie,
this is the kitchen.

But we'e, uh...

We're playacting.

Uh, mr. Beaver control center,
sir?

I have to potty.

( Laughing )

Both:
you said potty.

And proud of it.

Don't pay attention to him.

He's conceptually challenged.

Big word for a little head.

Eh?

We have a list
of fun things to do

Between now and when
you two leave tomorrow.

What if we don't
finish all that

By the time we leave?

Yeah, brattenbaggie?

How could you ever conceive

Of finishing by tomorrow

With a dopey,
mixed-up chart like that?

Did you or did you not
read the book
about schedule?

Oh, back off.
Chapter 22.

Kids don't need
a schedule.

Baboons need
schedules.

You need...
You're no different
than a baboon.

Norbert:
I'll pencil you in
for 1:00 tomorrow.

Listen, schedule is
tres importante.

These projects
don't look very fun.

How can
you tell?

You can't even
rea yet.

I said they don't--

Now look
at me here.

Look very fun.

You don't
have to read

Just to look.

Okay, I'm looking.

Look.

I'm looking.

( Brothers arguing )

Maybe if we made daggie's chart
a happier place...

It would look fun.

Excel-lente, chels.

I've read the books

Yeah, yeah...

Iknow what I'm
talkig about.

Um-hmm, okay, then.

Explain... The chart.

Ah!

( Cle!rs throat )

U@...

Well... E...

( Smacking )

( Drumming )

Heavens, man,
don't you see?

Why, any four-year-old
can understand it.

What?

Girls, tell norbie,
what does the chart say?

Go on.
Yeah,yeah,
tell norbie.

Let me hear it.

Um, we can do
anything we want?

Exactly!

Eh!

( Laughter )

They can do anything they want!

( Laughing gleefully )

( Owl hoots )

They can't
do anything they want.

They can do anything they want,
anything they want.

See where your
lack of structure leads?

Norxa the thick-ankled
warrior

Is our favorite
person on tv.

Especially when she fights
the bad she-creature, rosanna.

Bum, bum, bum, dramatic reverb.

We'll go downstairs,
you come after us.

I'll be norxa.

And I'll
be her twin

From dimension zor
in episode 33.

We'll defeat
you together.

At least the girls
were nice enough

To close the curtains
before starting the game.

As long as they're happy
and no one sees us

Let's go
along, okay?

Child-rearing
knuckle noggin.

You can att*ck us now.

Show yourself,
you two-headed

Demon from the pits
of the bad place!

Daggett and norbert:
roar, roar!

( Screaming )

Norbert:
we're roaring!

Roar! Roar!

Stacy:
don't come near me!

( Teeth chattering )

( Screaming )

( Screaming )

( Screaming )

( Yips )

( Everyone screaming )

( Sighs sweetly )

We are sinking now.

Brilliant.

Stace?

Chels?

( Bubbling and clinking )

( Both sigh in relief )

( Daggett gasps )

Oh, no! They're eating

Corn chip chili pies
and lime sherbet!

See, I was right about
your beaver control center.

Now, try and make your sisters'
visit here an enjoyable one.

That's all
they want.

Eh... Really?

That's it?

Righty, reedy,
wrote ya.

Hmm... Okay, girls, listen up!

No more child expert.

From now on

I'm just your
plain old brother, daggett.

We'll do whatever
you come up with.

( Whimpering )

Oh, no.

Oh, boy.

( Toilet flushes )

You are such a wienie.

I told you
they ate too soon.

Look who's talking,
child expert doofus!

Man, you could at least
use the bathroom spray!

( Thundering... )

( Thunder crashes )

( Teeth chattering )

Let's play a game

So daggie won't
feel so lonely.

How about, "what goes there?"

Cool.

Daggi?

I can come down now?

No, silly.

We're going
to play a game.

We describe something
really scary

That's hiding in the dark.

The last person
not to scream, wins.

Wnt to play?

Why, sure.

Why don't we let
daggie go first?

That way,
the game can start.

Good thunking, stace.

All right, daggett demille.

It's your turn.

What... Goes... There?

Uh, uh, me?

Geez! Uh, okay.

Let's see, what's,
what's in the dark?

Ah! I see...

I see...

A wall!

A big wall

With doors in it.

Scary doors... With scary knobs.

( Snoring ) ( snoring )

Nice going,
mr. Scary excitement.

I was scared.

Whimpering boob,
where on the charts does it say

"Bore your little sisters
to sleep"?

You're the boob.

They're tired
from your lack of structure.

These are my sisters

And I know what is best
for children.

Wait a minute,
back up.

They are our sisters.

I have watched hours
of public television

To let me know exactly
how to rear children.

Dag:
don't say rear around the kids.

That's not nice.

They have the rest
of their lives

To be structured and ordered.

Structure this,
chartboy!

Wait, I'm chartboy.

( Chortles )

Duh, I'm dag,
I got a chart.

Go ahead, scott--
I mean scoff.

If I only had a brain.

Mr. Scoffer guy.

I know what's best
for our littl sisters.

No, I do.
I do.

I do. I do.

I do, I do, I do, I do,
I do, I do! I do, I do!

( Whimpering )

( Squeaking )

( Whines )

( Cries, snaffles )

Maybe w don't know
what's best for them.

No more figting.

Right, this is our
sisters' weekend.

And we're not
going to ruin it

By being neeny-wieny poo heds.

Oh, girls?

Daggett:
come on in here, little sissies.

We have good news.

Daggie nd I owe you a ig,
old, hot, seaming pology.

That's right, brother

No more fighting.

'Cause we
like each other.

And we really,
really like you two.

Goody, goody.

Just like mom
likes daggett best.

( Gasps )

Mommy always
talks about daggie.

Daggie did this,
and daggie did that.

Daggie, daggie, daggie,
daggie, dggie.

That's why she always
sends norbi

Those maple log treats
every week.

W-w-w-w-what?

Mm sends you
treats every week?

Mom likes you best.

So?
W@o cares about
maple log treats?

Where do you
hide them?

In my mouth.

( Car horn beeps )

Go ahead,
take the house.

Where are
the maple treats?

Hey!

We love you... Both

No matter how much.

Both:
good-bye!

Uh, norbutt?

Huh?

How much is much?

I always like dag best

When he and norbie
get along.

When was the last
tim that happened?

Leonard, the kis
are in the ca.

I know that.

They know I'm kidding.

That's what
we told him.

U, sort of.

We, uh, praphrasd, yeah

I want treats
every week, too.

No, no, I get
double treats.

I deserve twice
the treats.

And I don't
have prickly fur.

I'ma better person.

You are not, I am.

( Electric lights buzzing )

Man ( on p.a. ):
Don't forget tuesday's match.

A legendary bowler

Will be signing
all your bowling balls.

( Grunts )

To the arcade!

To the ar--
( grumbling )

( Bowling balls crashing )

Ooh...

I love... Alien alley.

( Chuckles )
ah, lucky break, space cretins.

I'll be back.

( Chuckling )

Yeah, yeah, yeah

You dumb, dumb, dumb...
You demb guys.

You ain't seen nothing
yay, yeah, oh...

( Alarm sounding )

( Grumbling )

My turn, my turn, my turn!

Ooh!

Man ( on p.a. ):
For your safety

Talcum powder
is for external use only.

( Ball thuds, pins crashing )

Ah!
( Ball thuds )

( Pins crashing )

( Groaning )

( Groaning )

( Yelling )

( Grunting )

( Groaning )

Oh, jeez.

Light! Dark!

Celestial light.

Nice work, hon.

Perfect game in every lane.

Eh?

I'm laverta lutz

Lady of the lanes.

Pleased to meet you.
( Coughing )

Excuse me.

Can't seem to keep

The old lung down no more.

( Coughing, wheezing )
ugh.

Anyways, you bowled
a strike at every lane

So according to
ancient bowling legend

You get excaliball,
the magic bowling ball.

Only you can touch it, hon.

( Coughing )

Now, be a big
honey doll

And use it quietly,
all right?

Eh?

( Screaming )

( Crashing )

Look, that little
pointy animal

Bowled a strike
with his foot.

( Pins crashing )

( Cheering )

( Grunting )
hey, norb,
look at me.

I'm a big-time
bowling celeb.

Yeah, sure thing, dag.

But you're still
going to have to wait

Your turn... For alien alley.

( Guffawing )

( Zipper unzipping )

What are you looking at?

Funny, that was funny.

I heard some little rodent's
throwing strikes around here.

I'll say.

( Cheering )

( Fall silent )

You need
a 50-gallon drum

Of butt-kicking.

Me and my brother

Challenge you to a game

The loser nevr sows his face

In this bowling alley
ever again.

Ever again.

Easy-peasy.

Just don't let the door

Hit you on th way out,
pally.

Whoa, little rodent.

This here's team bowlng

And we only pla
brothers.

Yeah, yeah.
Got a brother?

Oh, great.

Where am I going to gt
a brother?

( Grumbling )

Come on!
Got to bowl!

Need a brother!

( Grunting )

( Yelping )

( Alarm ringing )

Ah, spoot!

Look whatyou
made me do, dag.

Wait!

Did you say...

Bowl?

Don't you get it?

Can't you see?

I... Just...
Can't bowl!

Kim goosin, would you please

Pick up your child
at the security desk.

( Whirring )

( Cheering )

( Laughter )

Hey, hey, norb.

Come on, come on, come on.

Just roll the ball.

You can do it.
Come on.

Fine!

Wnt me to roll
the ball?

I'll roll
the ball.

There.

( Toilet flushing )

Don't worry, norb

That you really, really

Stink in bowling.

You'll get 'em next time.

Don't patronize me.

Eh?

I don't shop here.

Don't tell me
how to do it.

It sickens me.

( Crowd cheers )

( All yelling )

Okay, but you have been
trying your best.

Trying my best?

Are you insane?

I haven't been
trying at all.

I'll say.

I told you.
You don't listen to me.

Wy dn't you lisen to me?
I don't bowl.

I don't bowl!

I don't bowl!

I'm not good at it.

But I's okay

To do something
you stink at

As long as you're having fun
stinking.

I'm not having fun!

You stink!

So let's get it
over with

And go back to something
I am good at:

Video games.

Ditto:
but, otis, you said

After we b*at 'em

We could go home
and do something

I'm good at
like making candles

In the shape
of sad little puppies.

( Groaning )

No!

Uh, something
on the ceiling, otis?

Don't you get it?

I just can't
make candles.

Pa-thetic.

Just because he failed once

Doesn't mean he can't
try it again.

Sorry.

Funny.

I thought for a moment

I saw a little bit
of myself in otis otto.

You mean like around the tail?
Huh?

Wait a minute.

I did see myself.

Holy timber!

I'm having
a self-revelatory moment.

I've been a total spoot-head!

I'll say.

Just one moe pin.

( Daggett panting )

This one's for you, dag

And anyone who's ever thought

They weren't any good at it.

What was that?

'Cause they didn't...

When they weren't good at it.

Don't hurt yourself,
just get on with it.

( All gasp )

I am no good at this!

You stink.

Shush up, stupid.

( Laughing wildly )

( Cheering... )

Don't touch me.

Don'tput your hands on me.

Oh, don't worry, otis.

I'll show you
how to make

Really good, sad
little puppy candles.

Sure.

( Otis muttering )

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

I know how
you feel.

You got the keys?

( Laughing )
hey, norb!

Norb?

Hey norbie, where are you?

Hey, are you okay?

Am I okay?

Tat's what I said.

That was fantastic!

Te cheers!

The action!
Yes.

The one pin!
Uno.

I was wrong, dag.

I'll say.

Bowling is the most fun

I ever had, ever.

Well, there, you see?

I told you
it's okay

To do something
you stink at

As long as you're
having fun stinking.

You stink.

Hey, look.

Celestial light again.

Watch, she'll cough up
a lung.

Hi.

How about that, hon?

You freed the lanes
from the tyranny

Of them there otto guys.

( Coughing )

You won't be needing
this no more.

Hey, hey,
pin-headed ady.

You can't take that
or I'll stink at bowling

And it won't
be any fun.

Give her the ball,
dag.

No.
Give her
the ball.

Come on, honey,
give e that.

Give me the ball.
Come on.

Hey, he.

Oh, give me the ball.

Watch that cough.

Give me the ball,
little beaver!

Hey, hey!

( Arguing continues... )