04x08 - Vantastic Voyage/Blacktop Beavers

[bunniefuu]

[Lively dance music playing]

♪ A-a-angry beavers ♪

♪ Beavers. ♪

[Inhales]

[Laughs]

[With french accent]
ah, it's just you and me,

Old friend. [Thunk]

Ee. What the...?

[Snoring]

[Man laughs]

He never saw it coming.

[Muttering]

That's good, pete.

It's important
the specimen is

In perfect health.
[Laughs]

This is a great day
for science, pete.

We will finally be able
to unravel the great myster...

Unsolved secret thingies
of the dreaded pointy weasels.

[Laughs evilly]

[Mutters]

[Laughing]

Laugh with me,
old chum.

[Both laugh evilly]

[Daggett laughs]

That tickle-wickles
my wittle ankle,

Crinkly
banana-faced man.

[Muttering]
...call me banana.

[Laughs]

All is in readiness.

I will now activate
the humongotron.

[Muttering]
I ain't no banana.

[Daggett screams]

[Whirring]

[Zapping]

[Clattering]

[Machine winds down]

[Machine restarts]

Good, pete... Hey!

It's working...
It's working!

[Laughs]

Ooh...

[Laughing]

Yeah, baby!

Sometimes this
science stuff

Gives me
the goose bumps.

[Laughing]

[Zapping]

[Laughing]

Hmm, I wonder
where daggerobic is.

It's not like him to miss
an episode

Of la bota-bo di el grapadura
and stir-fry cookery.

[Daggett]
hey, norbie!

Come look at me, norbie!
[Laughing]

Geh? Dag!

[Laughing]

Hey, norbie, look at me.
I'm all gigantiac.

[Laughing]
isn't that cool?

[Laughing]

What are you doing
to my brother?!

None of your beeswax,
weasel.

[Laughs]

All right,
if you must know.

We're going to go where no other
men in white coats like ours
have ever gone before!

Into the pointy weasel!

["Rainman" voice]
yeah, into the pointy weasel.

That's me...
The pointy weasel, yeah.

You're going to drive that van
around inside my brother?

Well, pete will do
the actual driving.

I only have
a learner's permit.

Curse you, d.m.v., And your
infernal written tests!

Don't worry, dag.

I won't let them do this to you!

Aah!

Ooh!

[Scientist]
ha-ha!

Take that, you not-smart
enemy-of-science guy.

[Laughing]

Uh... Aah... Oh... Ow!

All right,
you pointy weasel thingy.

Say "ah" for science!

[Laughs]

[Tires squealing]

Spit it out, dag!
Spit it out!

Whatever you do,
don't swallow!

["Rainman" voice]
don't swallow it.

Definitely don't swal...
[Gulps] oops.

Ooh, minty.

[Beeping]

We're in, pete.
Ooh, we're in!

Who knows what
surprises await us

In the vast, uncharted
things of the giant weasel.

Isn't it exciting, pete?

[Muttering]

Don't be
frightened, pete.

Here...
Hold my hand.

[Mutters]

Duh... Duh...

Science tickles, norbie.

[Laughs]
I like science.

Do you, norbie?

Whee... It's fun, fun, fun,
et cetera.

[Laughs]

Hang in there, dag!

I won't allow this travesty
of science to stand.

["Rainman" voice]
yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely
travesty of science, yeah.

Hoo-ah! [Mumbling]

Nothing like pork rinds
and science, eh, pete?

[Laughs]

And who knows?

The things we discover today

Just might get me
one of those college hat...

Tassel thingies,
like the one you get
when you go to college.

I never went to college

But I'm still
a man of science.

[Laughing]

[Muttering]

Now? Why didn't you do
that before we left?

[Mutters]

Oh, all right, but
be quick about it.

[Unzips]

Ah...

Aha.

[Laughing]

[Whirring]

Ee?

[Whirring]

[Revving engine]

The only way to defeat
bad science

Is with more badder science!

[Beeping]

We've got tone!

[Revving engine]

Look, pete.

The spleen
is my girlfriend.

[Laughing]

Now me and the spleen
are scientists.

Now take one of me

Dancing with the spleen.
[Laughing]

This is great fun,
huh, pete?

[Mutters]

Make a note
of that, pete.

Don't tease
the spleen.

[Mutters]
noted.

[Engine revving]

Great spastic
colon, pete!

We've got company!

Your days of science
are over!

Now put up your hands and
step away from the spleen!

To the van, pete!

[Rapid beeping]

[Laughing]

Ow.

[Laughing]

Looks like it's all over
for you, boys.

I'm taking you in.

Unhand my brother's brain!

Brain? That's the brain?

Good thinking, pete.

I really need
to go to college.

Ee?

[Muttering]

Hey, what's going on?

[Laughing]

[Rumbling]

[Norbert] no! Oh, no!

Oh, no...

Dag, what are you doing?

Stop! I'm trying to help you!

No!

Aah...!

[Laughs]

Good work, pete.

Now, let's finish him off.
[Laughs]

Finish him!

Ee-ee...

[Panting]

Dag! Stop!

Don't do it!

Swim, norbie, swim!

Must crush norb!

Go, norbie, you can do it!

Must crush norb!

I can't help it,
norbie!

[Crashing and rumbling]

[Scientist] you got him

Right where we want him,
weasel!

Crush him!

[Laughs]

[Panting]

I'm sorry, norb...
Must crush norb.

Oh, since you're going
to be all crushed

Can I have your stuff?

No, you big giant doof!

Now just crush me
and get it over with!

'Kay.

[Zapping]

[Gibbering]

Norbie!

Yow!

[Alarm wailing]

[Mutters]

You're right, pete.

Next time, we bring
more quarters.

Oh... I sure wish
we could do something

About this spooty
tummy ache, norb.

Sorry, dagga-poopy,
no can doopy.

The humongo thingy
is a total loss.

[Scientist]
forward...

No, pete, pete,
listen to me.

Now reverse...

[Tires squealing]
forward... Reverse.

But not to worry,
your body's natural
processes

Will eventually
eliminate the problem.

What do you mean?

Allow me to explain.

[Whispers]

Yeah... Yeah...

Ooh!
That's going to hurt.

[Laughter,
general conversation]

[Bell jingles]

[Country music playing]

[Deep-voiced male singer]
♪ well, my name's big renee,
and I'm a truck ♪

♪ You make fun of my name
and I'll grind you to muck ♪

♪ Now, this here's a story
that legends are made of ♪

♪ 'Bout three men who rode
in an old-fashioned face-off ♪

♪ Face-off ♪

♪ Well, the pointy-haired guy ♪

♪ And the squirrelly one ♪

♪ They were about 20 miles
outside of abilene ♪

♪ They were going to see
the largest pile of toenails
that the world has ever seen ♪

♪ 'Cause they could ♪

♪ Well, this here's
where I come into the tale ♪

♪ When they pulled up behind
me,
I was moving like a snail ♪

♪ Well, they didn't take
too kindly to this ♪

♪ See, they was rushing for
the truck stop to take a... ♪

♪ The boss man signaled them
to pass ♪

♪ So they cut out left
and they stepped on the gas ♪

♪ The squirrelly guy
didn't like the joke ♪

♪ So he got on the c.b.
And he gave us a poke ♪

♪ "You pea-brained spoothead,"
he yelled at the boss man ♪

♪ So the boss decided
to give the brakes
a good old foot slam... ♪

Oof!

♪ Foot slam ♪

♪ And as we left behind
them ornery weasels ♪

♪ We set off to phylo's
to get us some diesel ♪

♪ Thought that was the last
time
we'd see them bootlicks ♪

♪ Then they showed up
with a bone to pick ♪

♪ Ah-ooh ♪

♪ "Listen here, spoothead,
we'll take you on" ♪

♪ "You're just a bully
and your truck looks real bad"
♪

♪ That's what he said ♪

♪ Well, the squirrelly one,
he wasn't too good at rhyming ♪

♪ But the boss got the hint ♪

♪ He challenged them to a race,
because his pride was bent ♪

♪ Pride bent, ooh ♪

♪ Well, the beavers said yes,
and they revved up their ride ♪

♪ That humongous pile
of toenails ♪

♪ Would be the finish line ♪

♪ Well, the winner,
he'd get the bragging rights
over this here argument ♪

♪ The loser? Well, he'd have
to be the winner's brand
new hood ornament. ♪

[Ding]

[Tires squealing]

Ha! This is going to be
easy-peasy!

We're going to win!

What a loser!

Ha! You spooty slowpoke,
we're...

[Engine roars]

Ee!

Ee... Ee!

[Honks horn]

[Screaming]

Ee...!

Hey, huh...

I hope you have
strong follicles.

Ee... Uh... Ooh-ooh...
Ee... Ah...

Ee... Ah... Ee.. Ooh...

Aah...!

Norbie!

Norbie?

Norbie...

It's okay, dagged-if-you-do.

Looks like it's a long way down,
but it's not.

Ee?

Let go.

We got a race to win.

Okey-dokey.

Ee... Ooh...

[Dag inhales]

Ooh...

[Thud, grunt]

Whoops.

[Daggett]
"shortcut to world's
largest pile of toenails.

This is not a fake sign put up
by that handsome trucker."

Wait... Aah!

Ooh... Ee!

[Both]
ooh!

Ee!

Whoo!

[Tires squeal]

[Sighs]

[Panting]

[Daggett]
ee!

[Norbert]
ooh!

[Honks horn]

Whoo!

[Gasps]

[Both]
ah... They're in cahoots!

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

[Groaning]

[Squawking]

[Wheel squeaking]

Ee.

You boys look like
you been through...

Who are you?

Oh, me? I'm just
a grizzled old

Cliched stereotype who goes
by the name of ol' pappy.

Say it,
don't spray it.

So, uh,
tell me, boys,
what's your story?

Well...

We were born...

Hold on,
I'll take this.

Me and my butthead
brother here

Are in a race
with this trucker...

So you're in a race
with that black-boot-
wearing trucker

To the pile of toenails.

He's doing
everything he can

To make you lose,

Including putting up
fake signs for shortcuts.

Fake?

And paying off a pilot

To drag you
all over the place.

How do you know?

I got the record.

What you need
is my patented deathmobile.

Um, pappy?

Maybe you could just
help us fix our...

Suit yourself.

Let's get started.

[Hissing]

A trucker's got to know
his limitations.

[Norbert]
okay... We'll take
the deathmobile.

Should have listened to me
in the first place.

Ee...! Yow!

[Honks horn]

Ee...!

Ooh...

[Honks horn]

[Screams]

[Crash]

[Screaming]

[Crashing]

[Clattering]

Huh. What are
the odds?

♪ Ah-ooh ♪

[Singer]
♪ well, it looked like that
was the last stop for us ♪

♪ So them beaver brothers,
well, they set to kicking up
some dust ♪

♪ Now, them rodents,
they got to the pile ♪

♪ Their trip was hard and long
♪

♪ But there's something
you got to remember ♪

♪ This here's a trucking song ♪

♪ Now, don't ask me
how we did it, 'cause
it's a mystery even to me ♪

♪ But when it comes
to winning races ♪

♪ Don't mess with big renee. ♪

[Music ends]

I love that song.

[Engine starts]

I hate that song.

[Daggett] I don't know...

I kind of like it.

[Singer]
♪ I'm big renee,
and that was my story ♪

♪ Y'all come back real soon
and I'll have some morey ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Ah-ooh. ♪

[Theme music playing]

[Music ends]