04X06 - Tori Fixes Beck & Jade

[bunniefuu]

[ Music ]

Hey Robbie, after school, ya wanna help me and Burf examine our...

Shh! I can't talk right now!

Shooo, shoo.

Hi.

Shh!

You have to whisper.

Hi.

Thank you.

Why are we whispering?

Because there's a baby butterfly sleeping in here.

Ooh I wanna see it!

Shh!

My sister collects rare butterflies.

My brother eats rare roast beef.

See, my sister's on a cheer-leading trip, so I'm in charge of babysitting her butterfly.

Uh, maybe you shouldn't be babysitting anymore...

Ya know, after what happened when you took your little cousin to the zoo.

That was not my fault.

He asked me to lift him over the fence so he could pet the tiger.

Oh come on, no way.

I swear!

I told Trina the jeans were too tight for her, but she just wore 'em to dinner anyway.

And then, right in the middle of dinner?

They exploded.

Hey.

Oh, hi, Beck.

So, Sikowitz wants to know if you guys are gonna sing at the Full Moon Jam.

Oh, I can't, I have a throat thing.

And I'm thinking I'm just gonna emcee this year.

Emcee and throat thing, got it.

[ Phone ringing ]

Ah dang it!

What's up grandma?

Andre!

There's an emergency!

Andre!

Hey!

Gran... grandma...

Andre!

Take it off speaker phone.

It's not on speaker phone!

Oh my God.

Whoa.

Andre!

There's a tree in my living room!

And somebody stole my ceiling!

Grandma, you're in the backyard.

Oh.

See, you gotta stop doing this.

A ha ha ha ha ha ha...

Hello...

Excuse me, Jade?

Uh... I'm Braden...

From your history class.

You borrowed my notes.

Can I have 'em back now?

I... I could...

Oh God, I'm sorry.

Thanks Braden.

Come on, her pants actually exploded?

Yes! Her zipper landed in some old lady's soup!

Hey Tori, hey Beck.

Oh, hey Meredith.

What's up?

Just trying to pick a song for the Full Moon Jam.

Ah.

Okay.

So Beck, if you wanna, I was thinking maybe we could hang out later...

Um...

I can sing you a few songs, you can help me pick one.

Yeah, um, I would, but today's not good.

Oh, okay.

What do you mean, today's not good? What's wrong with today?

Today...

I have uh...

A big jar of coins...

And I gotta count them.

Okay, well have fun.

Whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What do you mean you have to count your jar of coins?

Ya know...

I've just collected a lot nickels and quarters...

And now I need to count them.

Um, I should really get to class.

Bye.

Bye.

I don't actually have a jar of coins.

No.

I can't hang out with Meredith. Okay?

Why not? She's cute and she totally likes you.

Shh!

Why do I have to shh...

Shh!

So grabby.

Okay.

I get that Meredith likes me...

And maybe I could like her.

But ya know... Jade.

Oh, you and Jade broke up months ago.

Yeah, but when we were dating, one summer, Meredith and I were in a play together, and it made Jade like crazy jealous.

Oh, okay, and if she found out you were snoodling with Meredith now...

Jade would explode like Trina's too tight pants.

So, your plan is to live the rest of your life being scared of Jade?

Well, that's not my only plan.

Some day I'd like to plant a vegetable garden.

Ya know what would make Jade not care if you started dating a new girl?

If the new girl had no head?

No, if she was dating a new guy.

None of the guys at this school will ask her out.

Why not?

Because Jade is terrifying.

All she has to do is look at most guys, and they start shaking...

And peeing.

There's gotta be some guy at Hollywood Arts who'll ask out Jade.

Not that I was listening at the door, but I'm currently between girlfriends.

Here I am once again.

Feeling lost but now and then.

I breathe it in to let it go.

And you don't know where you are now.

And what it will come to if only somebody could hear.

When you figure out how.

You're lost in the moment.

You disappear.

You don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action.

You'll never gonna fade.

You'll be the main attraction.

Not a fantasy.

Just remember me.

When it turns out right.

Because you know that if you live in your imagination.

Tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination.

In my victory.

Just remember me.

When I make it shine.

[ Music ]

And this is Sikowitz's classroom, where we learn about acting, and Sikowitz's personal problems.

Shh! The butterfly, you have to whisper.

No, no, no, his nap time's over. Now he needs to be stimulated.

I just talk to him, and show him colorful things...

I'm a colorful thing! Show him me.

I can't, I can't open the box.

But I want him to see me.

Please?

I... I can...

Can?

Can.

You can.

I can, I can.

Yay.

I'll just open the box a teeny bit so you can peek your head on in there.

Oh, no.

Aw no no no. No, no!

Butterfly, come back. Come back.

No. He's over here.

Oh, okay. Come here, come here. Come here.

Papa's over here. Papa's over here. Oh, geez.

Scooby, Scooby, come here.

No.

Quick, quick. Oh, man.

Ah!

I lost him! Where'd he go?

I think I found him.

Where?! Where is he?!

I think he's in my ear.

In your ear?!

Well, maybe he's not, I don't feel anything.

Ah!

It's flapping its wings!

Wait, I think he's gone.

Are you sure?

I don't feel it anym...

Ah!

Flapping!

Well, is he in there or not?

Wait for it.

Ah!

La da.

La da.

La da, da, da, da, da, da.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la.

Okay, that sounds horrible.

I can't hear myself on the monitor, turn me up a little.

Sure, I would love to turn you up a little.

Just turn my voice up you mop-headed freak.

Come on...

No no no no no dee no no no.

So you'll do it?

I'm not gonna ask Jade out on a date.

Just one little date next week.

No.

But...

Uh-uh.

But...

No.

Come on, if you take Jade out on a date, it'll show other guys that she can be dated, and then more guys will start asking her out, and then Beck won't feel so bad about going out with Meredith.

How 'bout I ask out Meredith and Beck just buys himself a hamster or something?

But don't you remember last year?

You had a crush on Jade.

You really liked her.

And when I was three I really liked my dinosaur underpants.

Things change.

But Jade can be so much fun.

Not now!

Sorry Jade!

This is hopeless.

Mmm-hmm.

The only way to get some guy to ask out Jade on a date...

Is if you pay him.

Pay him? Like...

Money?

I'm talking 'bout money.

Sinjin, fix this monitor before I make a necklace out of your ears!

A lotta money.

[ Music ]

Ah!

Ah!

Cat!

What?

My sister's butterfly, is he still in your ear?

Well, he was just a second ag...

Ah!

Yeah.

Did you find a way to get him out yet?

No. And until then, he needs to be fed.

But he's in my ear.

I know, but still, I have to make sure he eats properly.

That's a banana.

May I please?

I guess.

Lunch time!

Ooh ooh.

Here we go, here we go!

Oh, oh! Here we go, here we go!

Oh yeah.

How much did ya pay him to ask Jade out?

A lotta money.

Mmm-hmm.

Hey.

Oh.

My name's Gilbert.

So?

Oh my God.

Stay with it, Gilbert.

I... I really like your shoes.

I hate these shoes.

They're ugly and they hurt my feet.

Well then why do you wear them?

Because I like to punish myself.

Well, I, I think you look really nice today.

Oh, so yesterday I looked gross?

No, not at all! I, I just meant...

That I usually look disgusting but today I got lucky?

No, not at all, I just...

Just... oh, forget it!

I'm not asking her out! You can keep your money!

Wait! Gilbert! Don't you run away like a coward!

Coward!

You paid...

A guy to ask me out?

Run away!

[ Music ]

Hey! Hey! Where's Tori and Andre?!

Have any of you seen Tori and Andre?!

Have any of you seen Tori and Andre?

Jade!

Where's Tori and Andre?

So...

So now what?

We hide in here forever?

Just 'til Jade is calm.

So, forever.

Maybe.

Or maybe she'll get her anger out by...

I dunno, strangling a bear.

Oh!

Oh, thank God it's you.

We thought you were Jade.

You want me to go get her?

No!

Uh-uh!

What's up with you guys?

Well...

Andre and I were trying to...

I got dragged into this.

It was your idea to pay a guy to...

No. You came to me and I...

Hey!

Oh!

Yeah, I should a told ya, this is a bad place to hide from Jade.

I ought ta take this, and k*ll you both with it.

How could you k*ll us with toilet paper?

Put it down.

Put it down.

What are you all wazzed off about?

These two butt-cheeks paid a guy to ask me out on a date!

We were trying to help.

Why do I need your help?

Because guys are scared to ask you out!

That's how I like it!

I got dragged into this.

See, we thought...

You thought...

We thought...

If you got asked out by a guy.

You'd be more okay if Beck asked out a girl.

Oh my God. How many times do I have to say it?

I don't care who you date! We broke up! Ask out any girl you want!

See? I said you should just ask out Meredith...

Meredith?!

Jade...

Oh, I knew it.

I knew it two years ago when you were in that awful play with her.

I think I wrote that play.

And Meredith was always like...

"Oh, Beck, why don't you come to my house so we can rehearse our lines?"

"Ooh, Beck, I brought you some cupcakes".

Meredith brings everybody cupcakes!

Her dad owns a cupcake shop!

He does?

Yeah, Frank's Cupcakes.

Ooh, they're good.

Yeah, they make some legit cupcakes.

Ya know what?

I don't care.

Go out with Meredith.

Enjoy her cupcakes.

How can she k*ll you with it?

Beck...

[ Bell ringing ]

Ah!

Ah!

No offense, mister butterfly, but...

I sure wish you'd die.

Hey, lookie lookie what I got.

No, I don't wanna see that thing again, put it away.

No. This is a butterfly motel.

Oh.

What's it for?

Butterflies. It's filled with everything they like.

Dirt, plants, and rotting fruits.

Okay. So?

Well, I figure, if you stick your head in here, the butterfly will crawl out of you ear, and then frolic about.

You want me to put my head in there with the dirt and the rotting fruit?

It might make the butterfly come out of your ear.

Oh, it smells really bad.

Whoa!

Is her head in a butterfly motel?

Yes.

Me next!

[ Music ]

Hey, folks!

What's up, y'all?

Alright, everyone sit tight.

We're gonna kick off this year's Full Moon Jam in just a few minutes!

All right.

Yay Andre!

That's my Andre!

He's my grandson!

Hey Andre!

You blew it up!

Yay Andre!

Yay Andre!

Will you quit screaming?!

What'd you say to me?!

Quit screaming!

Are you trying to scream louder than me?!

I am screaming louder than you!

Oh no you don't!

Oh yeah I do!

No!

Oh, you won't scream at me.

Oh, don't you even try!

I've been screaming for 53 years.

I can scream louder than you can even think about screaming!

Oh, so do you wanna head over to the food table or do you just wanna hang here?

We can go get some food or stay here.

Well, are you hungry?

Are you?

Not really.

Yeah, me either.

Are you warm enough? Do you want to wear my jacket?

Do you want me to wear your jacket?

Okay, the question is...

Do you want to wear my jacket?

Sure.

If you want me to.

I don't think this is gonna work.

Just give it a little bit more time.

But my head's already been in here for six hours.

Hey!

Where are you from?!

I was born in Wisconsin!

Whoa! Oh. Ah!

Alright, get your head outta there.

But the butterfly's still in my ear.

I think I know how to get him out.

Oh yes.

Oh yeah.

Hey, Andre's grandma?

Who's that?! Who do you want?!

Well, Cat has a butterfly in her ear...

In her ear?!

Hey! Butterfly!

Get outta there!

Do you hear me?!

Hey!

Get... out!

It's out!

Bye!

Ooh! Ooh!

I got him! Whew.

I'm so happy!

Me too. But, the butterfly was in your left ear.

I know.

But, it came out of your right ear.

It's a miracle!

So, who's your favorite teacher in this whole school?

Easy. Sikowitz.

Yeah, he's my fave too.

I'm shocked.

I'm shocked too.

Are...

Are you just gonna agree with everything I say?

Do you want me to agree with everything you say?

No.

Then no.

Okay, um...

I am gonna go over there.

Awesome.

Hey.

Hey.

So, you and Meredith? Huh?

Are you guys gonna snoodle?

There will be no snoodling.

What?!

After everything I've done?

I was almost att*cked with toilet paper!

Look, Meredith is...

Nice.

Too nice.

I think I've learned something about myself.

That you're ungrateful to your friend who tried to fix you up with a cute girl?

No. I just think I like dating a girl who, ya know...

Fights back.

You...

I mean, a girl who's got strong opinions, you know, and a big mouth.

Why?

Because it's not easy.

Easy is boring.

Okay. I get that.

So...

Who's not boring?

Okay people, let's heat things up for Jade West!

Let's go!

Hey!

Ah!

Woo!

You think you know me.

But you don't know me.

You think you own me.

But you can't control me.

You look at me, and there's just one thing that you see.

So listen to me.

Listen to me!

You push me back. I'll push you back.

Harder, harder.

You scream at me. I'll scream at you.

Louder. Louder. I'm dangerous!

I'm warning you.

But you're not afraid of me.

And I can't convince you.

You don't know me.

And the longer that you stay, the ice is melting.

And the pain feels okay.

Feels okay-ay.

Hey.

You push me back. I'll push you back.

You scream at me. I'll scream at you.

Louder, louder, louder.

Louder, louder, louder.

Louder, louder, louder!

You push me back. I push you back.

Harder, harder.

You scream at me. I'll scream at you.

Louder. Louder.

I'm dangerous.

I'm warning you.

But you're not afraid of me.

And I can't convince you.

And I don't have to.

I think you know me.

Woo!

Woo! Oh yeah!

I've missed you.

So what are you gonna do about it?

Yeah! Go Beck! Get it baby!

Ya know, Cat hasn't dated anyone in a while.

You are a dangerous person.