02x01 - Spontaneously Combustible/Curse of Katana

[bunniefuu]

( Clock chiming, thunderclap )

( Creaking )

( Owl hooting )

( Shrieking )

( Crying )

( Gasps )

( Screaming )

You all make me sick!

( Needle scratching record )

( Chuckles )

Oh!

Ooh!

Got one. Oh!

It's a beauty.

Oh! Here, hold my eyes.

( Grunting )

What is it?

It is a
white-sided roller.

Mmm, them's good eatin'.

Hey! I got one.

It's big.

Ooh, we are talking

Major furniture.

( Burps )

This is going to put me
in the dump of fame.

A fish!

I really thought

I had something.

( Gurgles, burps )

You might want
to get that checked.

What for?

It's probably
just something I ate.

Ooh!

( Clink )

Time.
( Alarm rings )

Time, master ickis.

Ickis!

Since you're so eager to work

Perhaps you will
collect the tests

And bring them to me.

Thank you.

Thank you.

( Water dripping )

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Here you go, sir.

They're all here.

Oblina, would you
watch the class?

Ickis!

( Squeals )

Come with me.

Say ah.

Aah!
Did you hear that?

Yeah.

Well, he can hear.

( Birds chirping )

You dizzy?

Yeah.

Good, you should be.

Let's take a look
at that stomach.

Oh, my.

He's going to blow.

What is it?

There's only
one way to find out.

I'm going in.

( Gagging )

Ickis!

( Muffled speech )

Ah, ah, oh, oh, ee!

This is bad.
( Cluck tongue )

Really, really bad.

What are
you saying?

This is not good.

You're spontaneously
combustible.

Spit-top-iously custard-able?

Spontaneously combustible.

The good news is
it only lasts a week.

The bad news is the next burp
could be your last.

At any moment, son,
you could explode.

Could you be more specific?

Ka... Boom.

( Gasps )

Ka-boom?

Oblina:
what do you mean

"Ka-boom!"

For the next seven days

I'm a walking disaster
waiting to happen.

What happens after seven days?

Well, um,
if I'm still here...

We can take the plastic
off the furniture.

( Whispering )

( Gasps )

( Whispering )

( Burps )

Oblina:
ickis, I know

This is serious

But you cannot
spend the week

Sitting here
in the dorm room.

Where are combustible monsters
supposed to sit?

You look like
the same old ickis to me.

Except for that silly pail
on your head.

( Burps )

Everybody back in your seats!

You'll be pleased to know

We will not discuss

Your miserable attempt
at scaring last week.

Instead, I think you could all
use a quick lesson in history.

Does anyone know who that is?

Yes, snav?

That's my great
uncle sniv.

And does anyone know what he did

For monsters everywhere?

He was my great uncle.

But can anyone tell us

Why he was important
to all of us?

Being my great uncle
isn't enough?

Ah, oblina.

Yes.

He was the
greatest philosopher

In modern monster history.

It was the great sniv
who said

"I scare,
therefore, I am."

( Class oohing and aahing )

Thank you, oblina.

And kladiac the mighty

Who pioneered
the great northern sewer system

And was uncommonly handsome.

Ah!

And this is
the beloved poopa lula

Whose singing
and mediocre talents

Entertained
thousands of monsters

During the era of disbelief.

Ickis!

What did they all
have in common?

( Rattling )

Each of them was

Spontaneously combustible.

None of them blew up?

It doesn't matter at all

If they blew up or not.

What matters is,
combustible or not

They were each an important
part of our monster world.

And nobody became combustible

Just by sitting next to them.

Back in your seats!

( Gurgling )

Oblina:
forget about
what they think.

You see, they are like that
because they are young.

They do not understand.

What about you?

I am wise beyond my years.

Good night, icky.

Good night, krumm.

Good night, oblina.
Good night, ickis.

Good night, guys.

Oblina:
go to sleep, ickis.

We will see you
in the morning.

( Knocking )

Come in.

Horvak!
Horvak!

Dad!

Hello, there.

Ickis, how's your dad?
Great to hear it.

Pack your
things, krumm.

What's
going on, dad?

Its time to harvest the mold...
I need you at home.

Krumm, didn't you say

Your dad harvested
the mold last week?

Hmm, that's what
I thought, too, but...

There it is
still in the fields.

Come on,
let's hit the sewer.

Wow, the mold harvest, great!

Ickis, you want to come along?

Oh, no, ickis
doesn't want to come.

Hi, there ickis,
how's your dad?

Come on, son,
let's get out of here.

Bye, buddy.

Krumm did not
want to leave, ickis.

I'm sure of it.

Your parents'll
be next.

Then everybody's
mom and dad will

Pull them out of school.

What are you doing?

Everybody packing your bags?

Trying to get away from me

Before I blow you up?

Well, I got news for you.

You can all stay here.

'Cause I'm going.

I suppose you all
know ickis is gone.

And you all knew
that ickis was combustible.

But do any of you
know what that means?

Ickis was going to explode.

Any moment,
in a great big ball of fire.

A fireball so big

It would blow up
the whole school.

You said the whole dump.

( Gasping )

Who told you that?!

I believe that a free exchange
of information is

The key to better understanding.

Perhaps I am misinform-ed?

You've all been misinformed.

I told you

He wasn't a danger
to any of you.

But you listen to rumors

And you're afraid.

Do you know
what we call someone

Who's scared of something
he doesn't understand?

Humans.

So is that
what you want to act like?

A bunch of humans?

( Thundering )

( Squeaks )

Here you go, buddy.

( Belches )

Yeah, run from me.

Everybody else does.

I don't care.

I don't need friends
who won't stand by me.

So I blow up!

If they want to live their lives

Scared of something that's
not even happening to them

Then... Well, they've got
a bigger problem than I do.

Me? I'll face this one alone.

I'm not scared.

( expl*si*n )

( Squealing )

( Laughs nervously )

( Backfiring )

Go ahead, life.

Ha! Toy with me.

Play your cruel jokes, ha!

I don't care.

I don't care about anything.

I don't care about anyone.

Hi, ickis.

Krumm?

Krumm!

You came back.

I'm sorry, ickis.

You're my best friend
and I shouldn't have left.

I went back to the academy,
but no one was there.

That's because
we were looking for you.

The gromble
made everyone see

How they'd
treated you, icky.

They want you
to come home.

Yeah.
I couldn't sleep, anyway.

Well, good night, guys.

Good night, ickis.

Good night, ickis.
Good night, ickis.

Good night, ickis.
Good night, ickis.

Good night, ickis.

Yes, as I said,
good night, ickis.

Oh.

What do you mean, "oh"?

It's been seven days,
I should be fine.

( Machine beeps )

Open wide.

Great, I've been looking
for this for a week.

Are you still here?

Yeah, well, I wanted to know

If I still have to worry about

You know, blowing up?

No, you're healthy
as the day you were born.

Healthy monsters like you
have no business in my office.

Go on, all of you, out!

( Laughing and cheering )

I'm okay!

Let us go
tell everybody.

Yeah, come on, buddy

Let's party!

No, no, no.

I got a better idea.

Yo, hee.

I got one! Yes, yes

Come on, come on...

( Wolf howling )

( Panting )

Man:
careful, my good men

This isn't
a box of rocks.

It's the mummy of katana

Pharaoh of pharaohs

The greatest king to live
in ancient egypt--

My crowning discovery.

Hello, there.

My baby.

What's with
all the little pictures?

They're not pictures

They're
hieroglyphics.

The writings of ancient egypt.

It says, " i, katana,
king of egypt

"Will be worshipped
for eternity.

"I will rise from the dead
to honor the worthy.

"Fail to treat me
like the king I am

And I will rise
and torment you forever."

I was sitting on the box
when I ate my lunch.

Do you think he'll mind?

( Whining ):
I'd like to go now.

You should fear katana.

You're too simpleminded

To understand
his greatness--

His power.

I'll show you the door.

( Screaming )

( Krumm laughing )

Nice scare, buddy.

It seemed like such a good idea.

Oh, ickis, I really do not know

Why you insist
on jumping out of things.

Is that the only way you can
think of to scare a human?

Ickis?

Wow, look at this.

It's a toilet paper man!

Hmm, that human
in the white coat

Sure seemed happy to see it.

Maybe he's out
of toilet paper.

What do you guys think, huh?

We could all
jump out of this box.

Let us try something
different for once.

I got it, I got it!

Krumm, give me your eyes.

What's wrong with yours?

Ooh, this is going to be great.

Inspired, ickis.

Absolutely inspired.

What a monster.

What do you think, krumm?

I think I'm one
good-looking monster.

( Laughing )

Shut your eyes,
krumm.

Ah, noble katana.

If only you could speak.

Oh, the world
you knew.

Once you were the ruler
of millions

Now you're a...

A lifeless lump
of bandages and bones.

( Screams )

The curse of katana!

( Both laughing hysterically )

Good one.

( Laughing )

Oh, bravo, yes!

( Giggles )

Stinky.

( Clangs )

Ooh, excuse me, ickis.

Oh, let's get krumm's eyes
and head for home.

I'll have them for you
in a second.

( Moaning ):
ickis is making me dizzy.

Just one more twist
of the wrist.

Ow, ickis,
quit fooling around.

We just need something
to pry these out with.

Krumm:
no!

( Alarm bells ring,
sirens blaring )

( Groaning )

( Ickis screams )

Krumm!

Krumm!

What about my eyes?

We got to go.

( Toilet flushing )

My hands are lonely.

Oh, krumm, do not worry.

We will get your eyes back.

Sure we will.

Soon.

Not soon... Right now!

Ickis, it was your idea

To put krumm's eyes
in that toilet paper man.

It is your responsibility
to get them back.

I want my eyes back, ickis.

Okay.

You're right, oblina.

I lost them,
I'll get them back.

I mean, who's up there?

One old geezer and
a toilet paper man.

( Cackling )

Nothing I can't handle.

Right?

That is the spirit.

Whoa...

I wouldn't go up there
if I were you.

( Cacophony of voices )

( Sirens blaring )

Wait, I got an idea.

Oh, please.

Is this the best you could do?

How do I look?

You never looked uglier.

( Monsters stop talking )

Why did everybody stop talking?

Pardon me, mr. Krumm.

Something you wanted to share?

No, your sliminess.

Now, I expect you all
have marvelous

Imaginative scares to show me.

You'd better!

Let's work through
the class alphabetically.

Ah!

Starting with "k."

Krumm!

( Giggles )

( Krumm grunts )

( Whispers ):
uh, krumm, krumm, turn right!

Right!

Woman:
dr. Luxor?

Dr. Luxor?

Luxor:
yes, miss vertov.

Vertov:
what brought the mummy
back to life?

What brought the mummy
back to life?

"What" had nothing
to do with it.

"Who" brought the mummy
back to life.

And that who was me,
dr. Myron z. Luxor

L-u-x-o-r.

Luxor.

Dr. Luxor

How?

Courage, intelligence.

Just as the mummy's
curse foretold

Only the most worthy and
godlike human could coax

The mummy back to life.

And that man happens to be me,
dr. Myron z. Luxor.

That's l-u-x-o-r.

( Growling )

I'm sorry.

Is this the line
for the viewfinder?

Who had the courage and strength
to face the curse of katana?

Me!

Me, me, me, dr. Luxor,
l-u-x-o-r.

( All gasping )

( Shutters clicking,
flashes popping )

( Bubbling )

( Laughing )

Look at all the pretty dots.

Mr. Krumm, we are waiting.

Ooh.

Show us your scare.

( Fizzing, expl*si*n )

( Sighs )

Courage, bravery, no fear--

That's me all over.

Katana knew that.

That's why he came alive.

That's why we're pals.

( Sizzles )

( Crowd yelling )

( Crying )

( Crowd laughing )

Lousy, ungrateful,
backstabbing bag of bones.

( Fizzing, dripping )

Do you think
we fooled him?

I think we are going to
have to get krumm's eyes!

( Door banging )

Krumm:
gee, it's great to see me again.

Krumm:
hold on.
( Beeping )

I'd stay away from that.

( Yells )

Now you know the truth.

I am to be feared.

( With high-pitched voice ):
you are mighty, you are wise

You are the master
of the mummy katana.

( With normal voice ):
now you know.

So now you must bow to me.

( With high-pitched voice ):
mighty luxor,
master of the mummy katana.

We did it.

Now, how can we get
these eyes out?

Forget it, let us just take him
back to the academy.

We will figure
something out there.

I'll carry him.

Be careful, krumm.

Careful?
What's to be careful?

We did it.

The hard part
is over.

From here on in it
is a walk in the dump.

( With high-pitched voice ):
hail, mighty luxor.

( With normal voice ):
no, worship me more.

More!

( Clanging )

( Rattling )

( Cracking )

Do you think
anyone heard that?

No, we're fine.

( Alarm )
now we're in trouble.

My mummy!

( Alarm ringing )

Katana, he walks.

He flies.

But not very well.

You lost your eyeballs.

Come back here, you.

Where are you going?

We've got to put you back
in your head.

You're going to make me famous.

Those belong to krumm!

( Screaming )

( Laughing )

( Screams )

( Glass shattering )

( Screaming )

Shall we go?

Yeah,
follow me.

Oblina, let me borrow your lips.

This is going to be great!