02x10 - History of the Monster World/Fear Thy Name is Ickis

[bunniefuu]

[bells chiming]

[thunder crashes]

[creaking]

♪♪

[growling]
[crying]

[growling]
[screaming]

[screaming]

[cheering]

[laughing]

Now you've kicked
the coffin!

[thunder crashes]

Aah...!

[record scratch]

[chuckling]

[burping]
Shh, shh.

Today, class, I have
a special treat for you.

[cheering]

Yes, we're going
to study history.

[all groaning]

What is it with
you monsters today?

Do you think history started
the moment you were born?

I thought history
started when he was born.

You know those
who ignore the past

are condemned
to repeat it.

And those who don't
pay attention to this film

will repeat
this class!

[all gasping]

Roll it, please.

[groaning]

Our earliest ancestors
were primitive beings.

Crude, rough-hewn,

lacking the sophistication

we have today.

These cave monsters didn't have
the luxuries we have today.

No toilets, little garbage,
and very few humans.

Sometimes they were
forced to scare

the same human
over and over again.

[growling]
Aah!

[growling]
Aah!

[growling]
Aah!

[growling]
Aah!

Fortunately for us,
human brains were not

highly developed.

[groans]

Of course,
they haven't improved

too much since,
either.

In fact, humans could not
have progressed very far

without monsters.

Aah!
Argh!

[jackhammer sound]

Oh, this is
very interesting.

[yawning]
But what has it
got to do with us?

Well, let's see,
how about

everything?!

Many of your ancestors
were responsible for

changing the way
we live today.

[whirring]

This was the era of
the humans' Roman empire.

While they were busy with
world conquest and law,

we focused on much more
important matters.

Such as sewers.

Leaky, it was your
great-grandfather,

Leakekos,

who first mapped out
the sewer system.

So you see,
sewage is in your blood.

[whirring]

Leakekos made it
possible for monsters

to travel anywhere
in the human world

at will.

[roaring]

[screaming]

[cheering and applause]

Yes,
during this time,

monsters refined
their scaring techniques.

Laying foundation
for future generations

of monsters.

[whip cracking]

[growling]
[screaming]

Ooh!
My great-auntie Farina.

Hey, Grumble,
did my ancestors

do anything famous?

Later, Krumm, later.

[clears throat]
The Fall of Rome

ushered in the greatest
era of monsterdom.

What the humans call
the Dark Ages, we call

the Age of Enfrightenment!

Rags! Human ear!

Get your filthy rags

and dandruff by the pound
right here!

Fifty percent off!

Mix 'em and match 'em!

Eh... oh,
I hates the Middle Ages.

Rags...

[roaring]
[screaming]

The streets were dirty
and filled with garbage.

Rats were plentiful.

Humans lived in squalor
and rarely bathed!

Ahh, those were the days.

Those were also
the days of great monsters.

The Monsters of
the Round Cesspool.

You monsters have been
chosen to sit here--

[snort]-- because
of your rudeness,

your extreme
ugliness--

[snort]-- your complete
lack of chivalry.

[hocks]

You are the finest
examples of monsterdom,

and our great credo--

[snort]--
"Fright makes right."

They struck fear into the
hearts of humans everywhere.

[all roaring]

[groaning]

But the time had come

for monsters to
conquer a new world.

Now you see,
humans still believed back then

that the Earth...
was flat!

I know
it's hard to believe.

Yet there was one human
who thought the way we did,

and where he went,
our monsters followed.

[man]
Christopher!
Why don't we go home, huh?

We no see land for
weeks and weeks!

We sail around
and around like a pizza.

Oh, don't say pizza,
I'm-a so hungry.

Ahh, you're right,
let's-a go home.

All right,
turn it around, boys.

We goin' back
to Spain!

Hey, Christopher,

there's a-something
coming this way.

Ahh, you got-a
scurvy in the head.

Aah!

[screaming]

Quick,
go back,
go back!

[all]
Yay.

And that's
how we discovered

America.

A new land filled with
superstitious people

ready for scaring.

Unfortunately,
they were often unclear

about who or what was
scaring them.

And so it was then
that you saw the witch,

was it not?

No-- no,
it was a monster.

It had six arms,
a tail, and three eyes.

You mean you saw the demon that
the witch turned herself into!

No, it was a monster-- oh!

You mean witch!

Okay, okay!

It was a witch.

[chuckling]

Excuse me,
your Gromble-ness,

but what about
my father?

Oh, Ickis,
we all know how great

your father Slickis was.

No doubt because he was
taught by a great teacher.

Me!

Hey, that's my dad

when he had both eyes.

Hey, Horvak,

I hear our new teacher's
a real pushover.

Great,
I can use the sleep.

[burps]
Uh, class?

Class?

Could you please
come to order, please?

[overlapping chatter]

[laughing]

That's the Gromble?

Uh, class, class?

Yoo-hoo?

Quiet!

No, that's the Gromble.

Ickis, your father
was involved in

some of the most famous
scares in America's history.

All right,
Ebenezer, now then,

what do we do with
all this British tea?

[roaring]

[screaming]

Ooh, great idea!

[roaring][screaming]

The monsters are coming!
The monsters are coming!

"The monsters
are coming"?

[chuckling]
Oh, yes.

The British are monsters,
of course.

Oh, no!

The British are coming!
The British are coming!

♪♪

[roaring]

[clanging]

[all gasping]
...uh-oh.

Uh, maybe no one
will notice.

My dad broke
the Liberty Bell!

My dad never broke
anything important.

Yes, he did--
my will to live.

Well, actually, Krumm,

just before
your father flunked--

[clears throat]
--left school prematurely,

he did do one thing that
will never be forgotten.

He helped launch
the American Revolution

and the sh*t heard
round the world.

Captain Parker,
I order you and your men

to disperse at once,

by order of
the King of England.

Right,
you and what army, pal?

The British army.

Oh.

[gasping]

No!

[hammer clicks]

[gasping][g*nsh*t]

Ooh, that's gotta hurt.

Yes, but not as much as
the F's he got every semester.

But now we enter
the Industrial era.

[horn blaring]Railroads multiplied
everywhere.

[sniffing]

Great factories
sprang up,

belching thick,
noxious fumes

into the air.

Life-giving smog
that nurtured

a whole new generation
of monsters.

And inspired some
of the greatest scares

in monster history.

[clearing throat]

Hello, Watson?

Hello?

Testing, testing.
Watson?

[roaring][screaming]

Watson, come here,
I need you!

Hold on a second,
I've got another call.

"The only thing we have
to fear is..."

really scary stuff.

No, no, no,
that's not it.

The only thing
we have to fear is

things that are
frightening?

No, no, no.

The only thing
we have to fear is

my wife, Eleanor.

No, no,
no-no-no.

[roaring]

[screaming]

The only thing
we have to fear is...

fear itself!

♪ With a girl like you ♪

♪ To love me do ♪
[yawning]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Let me hold your hand ♪

[screaming]

[all screaming]

Well, I hope
this little lesson

has opened your eyes
to the importance

of understanding
your heritage

as monsters.

Perhaps it will
inspire you

to scale the heights
of monsterdom.

To scare
the impossible scare!

Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

What an inspiring
presentation that was.

Informative
yet entertaining.

Icky, your father
was so gruel.

Yeah, I guess he was.

I wonder if we'll ever
do anything as great as

the old monsters
of the past.

[man]
Mission control,
this is Major Tom.

We're currently
orbiting Saturn

at a cruising speed
of one-quarter impulse power.

We have no unusual
sightings at this time.

[roaring][screaming]

My most original work yet.

The culmination of my...

career as an artist.

My-- my ticket
to immortality

and it's...

caca!

[sobbing]

[grunting]

[growling]

No, no, no, no!

[roaring]

[roaring]

[screaming]

[cheers and applause]

[chanting]
Ickis! Ickis! Ickis!

Ickis! Ickis!
Ickis!

As you know,
I am not one

to pass out compliments
willy-nilly.

But that,
my little crud captains,

was a work of art!

[high-pitched laughing]

Hello, Ickis.

Oh, Dizzle.

What are you doing here?

I loved what you did
today, Ickis.

It was so inspired.

So powerful.

So...

scary!

Ehh... thank you.

No, thank you.

I have a thing for
big, scary monsters.

Oh, is that...
[deep voice] so?

I'd love to learn how
to scare like you, Ickis.

Uh-huh.
Could you take me on

one of your scares?

I'd love to see
the master in action.

Mm-hmm.

I can't wait.

[smooching]

Aah... ha-ha-ow!

Yes, yes, yes, yes!

Now, the key to
a really artful scare

is a little something
I like to call surprise.

You are so... deep.

Mm-hmm...

[chuckling]

Perfection,
artistic perfection...

this... this will be
my crowning achievement.

compared to me,

Picasso was a punk,

Dali was a drip,

Warhol...

weasel!

[roaring]

[screaming]

[screaming]

Bravo!

Bravo, Ickis!

[high-pitched]
Heh heh, I did it!

How about that?
I did it again!

What am I saying?
Of course I did it again.

I knew I could do it,
I never doubted it.

Ickis, look.

You know,
I may not know art,

but I know
what I like.

Ickis,
you're a star.

[chuckling]
I know.

[keyboard clacking]

[roaring][screaming]

Ooh...

[roaring]

[all gasping]

[all]
Ooh.

[sighing]

[screeching]

[roaring][screaming]

[roaring]

[screaming]

Mm-mm.

Mm-mm-mm.

Mm-mm-mm-mmm.

Ugh.

[all chanting]
Ickis! Ickis! Ickis!

Hello, monsters,

Dump Productions
in association with

the city's sewage system

is pleased
to present to you

a master class in the fine art
of scare-ification.

So please welcome
the grandmaster himself,

the hardest-working monster
in scare-business,

Ickis!

[cheers and applause]

[as James Brown]
Wha! Hooh!

Do you wanna
know how to scare?

[all]
Yeah!

Watch me now!

Oww!

♪ I like to wail-- ow! ♪

♪ I like to loom--
ooh! ♪

♪ I like to wail and loom
and wail and loom ♪

♪ And wail and loom
and-- ow! ♪

♪ Hit me now,
on my good foot ♪

He's good.
Oh, honestly.

Let me hear you say ow!
[all]
Ow!

Let me hear you say huah!

[all]
Huah!
Ow! Huah!

Ow! Huah!
Ow! Huah!

Ow! Huah!
Ow! Huah!

Ow! Huah! Ow! Huah!

Aah!

Well, well, well,
what do we have here?

I'm glad you made it,
Grombie,

I've been meaning
to talk to you.

Excuse me one moment,
Ickis... Dizzle?

Yes, Gromble?

Take a hike!

You were saying?
Ahh, well,

to get right
to the point,

Grombie, old pal,

I feel that I've learned
just about all I can learn

from you here
at the academy,

so...

I've decided to
leave school early

and turn pro,

seeing as I am fear!

Huah huah!
On my good foot!

Hit me! Oh!

Hmm.

Congratulations,
Ickis.

You will be
immortalized

in a statue that will
stand above ground

in the town square
for all humans to gawk at,

forever and ever.

Come back
and visit us sometime.

Arrivebye-bye.

As for the rest of
you bilge-belchers,

back to the books!

So you're gonna be unveiled
on the town square tomorrow?

Yep, I'm a star.

Yes, that's right, Krumm.

Grandmaster Ickis

is going to be
very, very poop-ular.

Poop-ular-- what are you
trying to say, Oblina?

Oh, nothing.

[snoring]

[roaring]

[laughing]

[screeching]

[laughing]

Hah!

[both screaming]

Aah!

We gotta get
that statue!

[Ickis straining]

It's no use,
it's too heavy.

Here, let me
try something.

I have a better idea.

Huh?

[all straining]

[beeping]

I've been thinking,
maybe-- maybe

we're going about this
the wrong way.

Why, Ickis,
how astute of you!

But I suppose I should
expect nothing less

from such
a peerless icon.

Such a model of
monumental monstrosity.

A paragon of
prodigious pomposity

such as yourself.

Pah-pah, papapa.

You know,
sometimes, Oblina,

I have no idea what
you're saying!

Oh, the good foot,
heh, hit me, heh!

Ooh, ahh, oh--
oh, please.

Hey, what happened
to the statue?

[both gasping]

There I go!

Somebody give me a hand!

[both screaming]

Here, grab on.

[all screaming]

Oh, dear,
what have we become?

Pretty frightening!

Wait-wait-wait-wait
wait a minute.

I have an idea.

What-what-what-what-what?

Ouch! Where did this wooden
thing come from, anyway?

Must've been
something I ate.

Does anyone know
whose eye we are using?

Good morning.

As mayor of
this fair city,

it is my great honor

to introduce you
to the man

who will
unveil the statue.

Favorite son
of this city...

Go right.

A pillar of
the community...

No, go left!

On the good foot?

And a supremely
talented artist..

[shouting over each other]

Vincent Van Strough.

[overlapping chatter]

Ladies and gentlemen,

my gift to the city,
the country, the world,

I give you "Fear."

[all gasping]

[screaming]

[roaring]

[all screaming]

No, no, no!

No!

What was I thinking?

This is not fear!

[laughing] No!

This is nothing...

but a cute little--
little bunny rabbit!

Now...

I have seen
the real fear.

Cute little bunny rabbit?

Oh, I'll show him
a cute little bunny rabbit!

Come on, Ickis!Ickis!

[Ickis growling]

Oh, it's good to
have you back, Ickis.

However,
in your absence,

I did take the liberty
of giving your seat away

to a new student

I'm sure you can
make something out.

No-no-no-no
no-no-no-no

no!

Where are you going now?

We have to finish
an art project!

Hmm.

[chuckling]

♪♪

[Oblina]
On the good foot, hah,
hit me, ow-- oh, please.