02x11 - Quest for the Holy Pail/Garbage In, Garbage Out

[bunniefuu]

( Clock chiming, thunderclap )

( Creaking )

( Owl hooting )

( Shrieking )

( Crying )

( Gasps )

( Screaming )

Move and you're dead!

( Needle scratching record )

( Chuckles )

( Panting )

( Something snorting )

( Snoring )

( Gurgling )

Ickis!

Ickis, wake up!

( Splashing and groaning )

What in garbage name
are you doing out here?

I was getting my ugly sleep.

Well, if we do not hurry

We are going to be late
for class again.

And then the only one
who will see

Your hideous complexion
will be the snorch.

( Gasps )

Oblina!

I am afraid,
ickis, for once

I cannot tell you
what that is.

Is this your fault?

No.

Is this... The end
of the world?

No. It's a sign...

A message to
the monster world.

Follow me.

( Excited chattering )

Shh!

( Panting )

( Gasping )

The time has come

For a young monster to enter
this passageway

And journey in search of

The ancient garbage cans.

All:
the holy pail.

I guess
it should be me.

After all, I have the best
overall grade average.

In this case,
and in this case only

Your performance in class
is not important.

We must wait for a sign

To see who is chosen
the golden monster.

Well, it should be
based on grades.

Yeah, base it
on grades.

I don't want to go.

It sounds like
too much work.

Work? ( Laughs )

What is with you guys?

This isn't work!

It is adventure!

Why, if I was chosen

I'd march boldly
into the unknown

Face every danger

And be back with the holy pail
before dinner.

( Gasps )

Would you look at that?

What is making it do that?

( Gasps )

That's the sign!

That?

No, that!

( Bats squeaking )

In this crate, ickis,
is everything you should need

For a successful journey.

The monster manual
refers to this

As the box
of really useful stuff.

Snorch?

First, a ball of string.

Then, of course,
a trash can lid.

Another trash can lid.

And something...
That goes sproing.

And, of course

The sort of human thing--

Oh, just take it!

( Splash )

Good luck, buddy.

I don't even know
where I'm going.

Now, legend says you must
pass through the sludge cascade

To picador cave
and beyond.

And I can tell you this...

Tread lightly
through belchschplatt cavern.

Belchschplatt cavern?

Yes! And be careful, ickis!

The wall warriors
are more dangerous

Than they look.

Go to the top of the heap!

That's where you'll find
the holy pail.

( Crying )

Are you sure
you've got the right ickis?

Just use your brain,
ickis...

For once.

I hate my life.

( Echoing ):
...my life.

( Gasps )

( Panting )

( Screaming )

( Panting )

( Growling )

( Screaming )

Yipe!

( Sproing )

( Grunts )

Come on.

Hey!

( Puttering like motor )

( Yelling )

( Sighs )

Picador cave?

Oh! Well, I guess
I just pick a door!

Hah!

( Laughing )

( Screaming )

( Sighs )

Yipe!

Oh.

( Shrieks )

It's all right

It's all right.

I may be lost.

I may be alone.

( Loudly ):
but it does not matter.

Because...

Because I have got...

( Whining )

String.

( Thump )

Yes!

( Chattering )

( Belches )

I have absolutely
wonderful news.

Today we have
a real treat, class.

I give you the exciting,
ever-changing elements of fear.

( Gasping )

And what are we going
to do with that

Your grombleness?

We're going to memorize it

Of course!

Isn't that fabulous?

( Class groaning )

( Gasps )

( Loud panting )

( Yells )

Oh. Well, I wonder

If this is the much-feared
belchschplatt cavern?

( Ominous rumbling )

( Belch )

( Splat )

Oh, guess so.

( Malevolent laughter )

( Ickis screeches )

( Belching )

( Creepy laughter )

Very good.

And now, class

Let's go over
the inert creeps once again.

Class?

( In unison ):
jitteri-um

Heeb-i-um...

Jeeb-i-um...

And the willies.

Good.

Now, everyone, the phobias.

I cannot believe ickis
gets to miss this!

I don't know.

Quests are supposed to be

Pretty hard work.

I do not care.

I'd give anything
to be in his shoes.

( Clinking and clanking )

( Shrieking )

( Screaming )

( Belching )

( Yelping )

( Screaming )

( Bats cheeping )

( In unison ):
and xenophobia.

( All groan )

( Snoring )

Oblina?

( Sing-songy ):
oblina?

Oblina!

What?!

Oh, uh, uh, y-yes.

Humans are often afraid
of other humans

Just because they
look different.

( Ickis screeching )

( Panting )

( Gasps )

Wow.

( Zapping )

( Grunting )

Ya-hoo!

Ooh, I made it!

I made it, I made it!

I'm tough.

I'm bad!

Ow, on the good foot.

I am fearless!

Yes, yes!

Aah...

I'm going to pass out.

( Screeches )

Excuse me.

Excuse me?

( Clears throat )

Shh!

I hate this thing.

Has it been years already?

Time flies when you're bored
out of your skull, huh?

Oh, wow.

( Exhales deeply )

Ouch.

I got to remember to move around

At least
every hundred years or so.

Okay. Ready?

( Dramatically ):
why have you come?

I've come for the holy pail!

Sorry, fresh out.

That's it, we're done,
I'll see you.

( Stuttering ):
see you?

Done? That's it?

Next show starts in years.

Hey, you've been great.

Good night,
I got a higher plane to catch.

( Chants ):
om!

( Chanting )

That's one hard trip up here,
ain't it?

Here, kid.

For your trouble.

Hope you enjoy it
as much as I did.

( Sighs )

A tooth... Pick?

It's easy to remember
the basic elements.

If you re...

( Snoring )

Class? Oh, class.

Class? Wake up!

( Gasping, yelling )

Ickis! You're back!

Yeah, and empty-handed.

Come on,
how was it?

How was it?

Lousy.

You know what's out there?

Nothing.

No pail, no bucket.

No nothing.

You didn't do anything?

Or see anything?

Oh, sure. Yeah, I rode on
the back of that tooth machine.

I flew through the air
with those bats.

Oh, and I made it through
picador cave

And belchschplatt cavern

And I was almost caught
by the wall warriors, you know.

And I made it
to the top of the heap.

( Laughing )

Exactly!

Exactly?

That's my point!

What's your point?

It sounds like
a perfectly lovely

Wonderful, productive trip!

Oh, please, oh, fine!

Oh, make fun
of the failure, huh?

Oh, have a great big
old laugh on me, yeah.

You know, I was almost drowned

Eaten, lost, skewered

And-and-and belchschplatted!

Do you know what it feels like
to go through that

And have absolutely nothing
to show for it

Except a stupid toothpick?!

Oh, yes, ickis.

( All gasp )

You went, too?

( Sing-songy ):
yes, I did.

You didn't find the pail,
either, did you?

No. But like you, I learned

That if you travel through life
with your eyes open

You'll never come home
empty-handed.

Now you've got memories,
experiences.

And if you ever have anything
stuck between your teeth

You've got a very
attractive toothpick.

( Sighing )

Now, back to
the periodic table.

Oh! Shall we wake him?

No.

Ickis can sleep.

As for the rest of you

( Yelling ):
repeat after me!

( Groaning )

Female monster:
yikes.

( Trucks stopping )

( Laughing )

Yum! ( Slurping )

( Grunting with effort )

Mr. Mayor... Your :
appointment is here.

I'm busy... Almost got it.

Sir, they're ladybugs.

Those adorable
little girls in uniforms.

So?

Well, they just happened

To show up at the same time
as a news crew.

What are you waiting for?
Show them in.

Welcome, little ones.

Oh, say, you wouldn't
happen to have

Any of those delightful
cookies, would you?

No!

( Groans )

There's the kind of spunk

I like to see in our youth.

I've got a question for you.

Oh, of course you do, child.

What is it?

We've been learning
about cleaning up the planet.

What's the city doing about it?

Well, uh... Hmm... Uh...

Time out!

( All talking rapidly )

I, your mayor

Am proud to announce
that next week will be

"Dump the dump week"
in our fine city.

A time in which
everyone will be asked

To recycle
everything they possibly can.

Now, go forth
and do good things

Blah, blah, blah, blah...

Yadda, yadda...
What time will this air?

Film at eleven.

Now listen,
you little toad.

You make "dump the dump"
happen

Or you'll be scrubbing
every statue in the park.

( Coughing )

( Strangled ):
you betcha.

Announcer:
it's "dump the dump week,"
so save your garbage.

Did you know that trash clothes

Are three times warmer
than wool?

Think about it.

Hmm...

( Camera clicks )

Wow!

See, I told you.

I would not have believed it

If I had not seen it
with my own eyes.

Ickis:
where has all
the garbage gone?

Maybe it's the end of the world.

( Excited conversation )

Attention! Students...

As you know,
our food supply

Has been dwindling steadily.

I am declaring
a temporary state
of emergency

Until we can determine
why humans stopped

Throwing away

Their garbage!

I am sending some of
our best students topside

To investigate this mystery
and find new sources of food.

All of monsterdom
is depending on you...

So don't blow it!

Ickis:
look at that!

They're wearing food.

( Humming )

It's completely empty.

Eww!

( Snarling )

( Gasps )

Whoa!

Well?

That's it?!

How about you?

I'm sorry, there's
just nothing out there.

Oh, in that case I'm afraid
I must institute gromble law.

All remaining food will be
brought to the snorch's chambers

To be secured for rationing.

( Yelping )
( gulping )

Snav, what's that
in your mouth, hmm?

Put it in my hand...

Now!

I want all food brought to me
by the end of the day!

( Class gasps )

Or else.

Ickis:
styrofoam again?

Any chance of getting
a second helping?

( Growling laugh )

I'll take that as a no.

You have got to give us
more food.

Look at what is happening to me!

That's what I call skinny.

We have to do something!

Snorch, my dear friend.

Don't you think we should
take a little break

And refresh ourselves
from the garbage

You and I have
been so zealously guarding?

( Growls )

My thoughts exactly

My very dear friend.

That was a trick question,
of course.

This is never going to work.

He'll catch us
and skin us alive!

If you want more food,
this is the only way.

Quickly, let us go.

( Growling )

( Ickis
clearing throat )

( Imitating gromble ):
ah, my dear snorch...
Goofing off as usual!

Sir?

( In ickis/gromble voices ):
I have received word

Of a devious plot
to raid our food supply.

Therefore
I order you to move

Half... Uh, all of it...
All of it, all of it...

To a new, secret location.

Oblina:
do not get greedy.

And where would
this secret location be...

Sir?

Well, let me think...

Um, who are
the most trustworthy students

Here at the academy?

Krumm:
krumm, oblina and ickis.

Is there something wrong
with your voice, sir?

( As ickis ):
what business

Is that of yours?!

( As gromble ):
I mean... What business
is that of yours?!

Now, quickly move the food
to their dorm room immediately!

Gromble:
what is going on here?!

Well, sir,
the snorch and I

Have foiled
a blatant attempt

To steal the food.

Food? Food, you say?! What food?

You idiots have let them take

The whole pile!

I'm very disappointed
in you three.

Especially you, ickis.

If you're going
to impersonate me

At least get the nose right.

All of you, back to
your rooms immediately!

( Laughing )

White?

( Laughing )

I wouldn't be caught dead
in white.

I got to have some food.

What kind of crazy world
is this...

Where a monster
can't get a decent helping

Of plain old garbage?!

( Slurping )

I never thought
I'd live to see the day.

I got a slug.

Let's chow!

Hey...

Easy...

Sorry.
That's
okay.

This trash famine
is affecting all of us.

There has got to be something
we can eat around here.

There's got to be!

Aha!

What is it?

I'm not sure, but humans

Eat a lot of them in the spring.

Human food! Ickis, stop!

I am going to eat it, ha!

I am going to eat human food!

No!
Yes!
No!

Yes! Watch me, watch me!

You'll thank me for this later.

( Crying )
if there is a later.

You know what would be
good right now?

A thick slice of beetle loaf

Drenched with
extra-virgin sludge

And a side of minced rope.

Stop it, stop it!

You're torturing me.

Check this out, oblina.

Buddy boy's
been holding out on us.

Ickis, how could you?

I would have shared.

Besides, I'll bet you
have a secret stash, too.

I'm hurt you think that.

Oh, really?

( Laughing )

Exhibit "a"!

I suppose
this delicious rotting sweater

Just happened to fall back here.

Something like that.

You stay away
from my things, you...

You hoarder!

Listen, little
miss name caller...

We'll see who's a hoarder.

You're smart and crafty, oblina.

Now, where would you never
expect krumm and I to look?

That's easy--
her schoolbooks.

Aha!

Exhibit "a"!

"B."
"B."

Whatever-- the point being

My dear fellow hoarders...

None of us is perfect.

What are you looking at?

What are you looking at?

I am not looking at anything.

How come no one's looking at me?

I know what is going on here.

You're both planning
to steal my worms.

The minute I close my eyes

You'll have
a rotten-sweater feast.

If either one of you thinks

You'll get your hands
on my peanut shells

You've got another thing coming.
( Snarling )

( Shrieking )

( Growling )

( Panting )

Can't... Go... On.

Too... Weak.

Umph...

( Other monsters laughing )

Mayor:
monty, is there any more
political benefit to be gained

From this "dump the dump"
campaign?

No, the people
are pretty sick of it.

Then I am, too.

Get rid of this junk!

Good one, sir.

( Both laughing )

Hey, kids, "dump the dump week"
has been dumped.

So dump that garbage.

( People cheering )

( Grunting )

( Panting )

( Groaning )

( Moaning )

Looks like this is the end.

I'm going to miss you guys.

Oh, krummy, stop.

You're making me sad.

I don't know
how much more time we have

So i... I just wanted to say
to both of you

That I'm sorry
for the way I acted.

I am sorry, too.

I behaved poorly.

Ditto.

It's funny how cranky you get

When you don't eat
a good lunch...

Or dinner...

Or breakfast...

Or lunch...

Or breakfast...

Friends?

Friends.
Friends.

( All sighing )

( Rumbling )

What is that rumbling?

Probably my stomach.

( Gasping )

Wow! It's back!

It certainly is, looky!

( Monsters cheering )

We are saved!

It's beautiful, isn't it, krumm?

Krumm?

( Belching )

Whoa!

Yeah... It's beautiful.

( Crunching, whirring,
dog yipping )

Krumm: ...or dinner,
or lunch, or breakfast...