04x05 - iDo

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

All right.

Come on, we gotta study.

Let me just eat one more meatball.

You said that three meatballs ago.

I have a problem.

Knock-knock. Albondigas.

Okay. What goes on?

Sam has a meatball problem.

I thought you were on the patch.

She is.

Aren't these meat patches supposed to curb your cravings?

They're not working.

I still want you.

Put it down.

Fine.

Right. That's where it goes.

[Beeping]

Who beeped?

Uh, big birch, requesting a video chat.

Who's big birch?

Oh, I told my mom she could give your screen name to her cousin's next-door neighbor's brother.

Oh, well, if it's your mom's cousin's next-door neighbor's brother, I better jump right on this.

Wanna putt some meat?

Yeah, I'll play some meat golf.

Hello?

What up, big birch?

Oh, my God. It's you, Carly.

I got you.

Yeah, whatcha need?

Ah, here's my situation.

Ah, I wanna get married.

Well, I'm still in high school.

Right, right, super funny, super funny.

Yeah... no.

My girlfriend and I, we love your web show iCarly.

We never miss it.

Aw, thanks.

And so I thought it would be totally super special if I came on iCarly and I proposed to her live on the show.

Oh, well, that sounds kinda fun.

Yeah? Oh.

Yeah, I got it all planned out.

I even wrote a special song for her and everything.

You want me to sing it for you right now?

Uh, why don't you just e-mail me the song?

Sure deal.

Oh, hey, you want me to bring you some Wisconsin mustard?

It's got beef in it.

No, I don't want that.

Bye.

Hey, hey, did you guys save me a meatball?

Sure did. Heads up.

Oh.

Thanks.

In 5, 4, 3, 2...
[Music]

♪ I know you see ♪
♪ somehow the world ♪
♪ will change for me ♪
♪ and be so wonderful ♪
♪ live life, breathe air ♪
♪ I know somehow ♪
♪ we're gonna get there ♪
♪ and feel so wonderful ♪
♪ it's all for real ♪
♪ I'm tellin' you ♪
♪ just how I feel ♪
♪ so wake up the members ♪
♪ of my nation ♪
♪ it's your time to be ♪
♪ there's no chance ♪
♪ unless you take one ♪
♪ and the time to see ♪
♪ the brighter side ♪
♪ of every situation ♪
♪ some things are meant to be ♪

[music]

Okay.

It's time for something new on iCarly.

Something we like to call random chatting.

Whoo! Random chatting, random chatting, random chatting, random chatting, whoo!

Random chatting, random chatting.

Arggh!

Whooooooo!

Okay, Freddie, pick a random fan who's watching iCarly right now.

And fling his or her random face right up on that there video screen.

Gar gar gar!

Okay, here's a random fan named Jodi Flooger.

Mom, I'm on iCarly!

Uh, Jodi, I was just wondering, do you happen to have a boyfriend?

Well, yeah, I do.

His name is Gordon.

He's in Oshkosh buying a new muffler.

Well, Jodi, your boyfriend Gordon is a filthy liar.

'Cause look, he's right here.

Gordon!

You guys are real. Hey.

Gordon?

What are you doing on iCarly?

Well, something I've been wanting to do for a long time, doll.

What?

Aah! Carly, Carly, you are not gonna believe this.

Spencer, we're in the middle a live web show.

Yeah, I know, I know, I know.

But I think your fans are gonna love this.

See, I was eating this bag of potato chips and look what I found.

A tortilla chip.

It's a manufacturing error.

It says, "bonus: One free tortilla chip in every bag."

Hey, Spencer, I think you're awesome.

Uh, thanks, screen lady.

You are so funny.

I think you should be on iCarly all the time.

I know, but Carly and Sam are all... okay, come on... you're not in our demographic... keep it going. Keep it going.

Out the door, there we go.

Whoo!

Okay, let's see.

Um, Gordon, don't you have something you wanna say to Jodi?

Heck, yeah.

Whoo, Jodi, uh, you and me, we've been dating a long time and, uh, oh, gee. Aw, gosh, I just love you to pieces and, uh, I hope you feel the same way.

Cut to the chase, Gordon.

Right.

[Soft music plays]

What's up?

Gibby?

Why are you wearing that?

You told me I was gonna be the ring bear.

Ring bearer.

Yeah.

Just do it.

Jodi, will you marry me?

Oh, Gordon, yes.

You bet your cheese I will.

Yay! She said yes.

Mom, I'm getting married!

It's about time.

Oh, Carly, Sam, Freddie, I want you guys to come to the wedding in Wisconsin.

Okay.

Really?

Great.

Ooh, and bring Spencer.

Yeah. Oh, baby, you oughta have Carly and Sam be your bridesmaids.

Ooh, yeah.

Ehhhh.

I think you girls will make real purdy bridesmaids.

Freddie, you could be my best man!

Uhhh... Oh, the irony.

What irony?

You're the best at nothing and you're barely a man.

Uh, don't you have a special song you wanna sing for a special someone?

Oh, yeah, right.

Uh, Jodi, this is a song I wrote just for you.

[Music]

Gotta pee.

[Music]

This is Captain pike.

In about 20 minutes, we'll be landing in Wisconsin.

[Pained groans]

Dang it.

Yeah, I know.

We look hideous.

I know.

[Screams]

Oh, holy gosh, iCarly at my wedding!

Yay.

Spencer, you look so handsome and dapper.

Well, I dapped before I left the hotel.

You are quite a cackler.

So, where's your fiance, Gordon?

Oh, I think he's getting dressed.

You have really nice pecs.

What?

She likes your pecs.

Oh, well, I swim sometimes.

No, you don't.

I swam once.

Hey.

Hi.

I'm Jeb.

Hello, Jeb.

I'm the groom's brother.

But guess what?

My brother didn't pick me to be his best man.

He picked you.

Yeah. I was kinda surprised about that myself.

Yeah, I bet.

I didn't pick myself to be the best man.

Gordon... just watch your back, Internet boy.

Internet boy.

[Music]

Why did we stop?

There's something up in that tree.

Happy Birthday.

Dude.

Whoa, a $5.00 bill.

I'm gonna get that.

Call mom.

Tell her we might be late for dinner.

[Keying numbers]

[Music]

But when you really stop and think about it, marriage isn't just the bonding of two people in eternal love, it's also about eternal respect, eternal companionship.

This ceremony's eternal.

Thank you.

Gordon.

Yeah?

Do you take Jodi to be your wife?

To love, honor, respect and care for her as long as you both shall live?

Aw, you bet your sweet bippy, I do.

Jodi, do you take Gordon to be your husband?

To love, honor, respect and care for him as long as you both shall live?

Uh... I can't.

Ohh!

What do you mean?

I think I'm in love with someone else.

Ohh.

Whoa.

Who?

Spencer.

[Music]

So, you're the Spencer boy who took Jodi from my grandson.

Ma'am, I promise you, I did nothing to... aah!

Aaah!

Excuse me, that was totally uncalled for.

Who are you?

His sister.

And there was no reason for you to knee him in the... ohh!

Yeah, you better walk away.

Ow.

She stomped on me with her bony old foot.

You want me to rub it?

You rub it.

Why would you do it?

Gordon... I invite you guys to my wedding.

I paid for your r plane rides, and you go and steal my honey.

He didn't try to steal Jodi away from you.

Hey, do you know if they got any tartar sauce for these fish sticks?

Fine. I'll use the beef mustard.

Geez. Geez.

How are we gonna fix this?

I don't know.

But we can't just let the poor guy... is he behind me?

Uh-huh.

Hello, Jeb.

I should've been the best man, not you.

It wasn't my choice.

How do you like me grabbing your lip?

I don't.

I know.

[Music]

Uhhh!

Unnhhh!

[Laughing]

[Music]

Okay.

I know what to do.

Ahhhhh!

Unnggh.

Whaah! Huah!

Happy Birthday.

What is that, your catchphrase?

Hey, hey.

Excuse me, miss lady?

Yes?

There's a $5.00 bill up in that tree.

Help me get it?

But I don't know you.

Well, after we get the money, maybe we could go grab some coffee or something.

All right.

Jodi, you need to marry Gordon.

But you don't understand.

When Spencer and I first made eye contact, you could just feel the chemistry between us, right?

Oh...Nooo.

You're so funny.

More cackling.

Come on.

You don't really want Spencer.

I'm a mess.

Such a mess.

He has no job.

Who would hire me?

He doesn't hang out with anyone his own age.

I've never been popular.

He drinks *** in the shower.

Oh, naked and wet...

And he hasn't had a steady girlfriend since high school.

Ok, maybe not a steady girlfriend "per se"...

I'm looking at his flat butt.

Too far!

Can you reach it?

I don't think so.

Come on, baby, stretch.

My name is Hazel.

Well, stretch, Hazel.

Hey...

Where are you going?

Don't worry about it.

Sweet.

Come on.

No, no, no, no. No, no.

You can do this.

No, I can't get up in front of everybody and sing my song to Jody. No.

My butt is not flat.

Yeah, it is.

You want to lose her forever?

Uhhh...

The heck, no.

The last time I tried to sing the song on iCarly, I almost lost my urine.

That's only because you knew a million people were watching you.

This will be just in front of your friends and family.

When Jody hears you sing that awesome song to her, that you wrote yourself, she'll realize she's still in love with you.

This...

...looks flat?

Come on.

You can sing it right on that stage.

Just sing the song, Gordon.

Come on, it's like two fresh apples back here.

Get it!

Almost....

...there...

I got it!

Five buckareenies, baby!

Whooo!! Whooo!! Yeah! Yeah-ah!

Thanks, Hazel! Good job!

Hazel?

Hazel?

Hazel?

Go, Gibby!

You saw nothing.

[Music]

Are we still going to get coffee?

[Weak groan]

Um, I know most of you were expecting a wedding.

We all were!

Thank you, lady who hurt my foot.

But right now, the groom would like to sing a special song he wrote just for his bride, Jodi.

No, no, no.

Gordon?

Uh... No.

[Loud feedback]

[Music]

Uhhhh!

Oww!

[Groaning, whimpering]

♪ Shakespeare ♪

ohh... ohh! Ooh-eee. Aagh.

Oh, gosh.

Ohh!

[Crying]

Stop. What happened?

I sprung a leak in my trousers.

Come on, just get back up there and sing the song.

No way! I'm soaking wet.

I'm still peeing right now.

No. Whoa.

Oh, my gosh.

Whoa, that's... whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait.

You could sing my song for me.

What? No!

Why not?

Sam!

Please, Carly, you are my only hope.

I don't even know the song.

You said you listened to it a hundred times.

You know it.

You could sing the song for me.

Please.

But I... I'm floating in my own shoes.

Please.

Give me the mic.

Knock 'em dead, kid.

We're never coming back to Wisconsin.

Could you please help me look less ridiculous?

Oh.

This and this.

Thank you.

Here.

This.

Uh...Ruffle.

Flower.

Um, there's gonna be a slight change in plans.

Gordon's a little emotional and damp.

So, now I will be singing Gordon's song for him, to Jodi.

Aww.

[Music]

♪ I saw you there ♪
♪ so beautiful ♪
♪ you stopped and stared ♪
♪ so magical ♪
♪ then you asked me ♪
♪ for my name ♪
♪ and we took an uptown train ♪
♪ before you leave ♪
♪ get up to go ♪
♪ I wanna know ♪
♪ do you like Shakespeare ♪
♪ Jeff Buckley ♪
♪ watching movies on Sunday? ♪
♪ do you like kissin' ♪
♪ when it's rainin' ♪
♪ makin' faces in the station? ♪
♪ do you like♪
♪ I need to know ♪
♪ what do you like? ♪
♪ before you go ♪
♪ oh, oh ♪
♪ do you like Shakespeare? ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ just you and me on Sunday ♪
♪ when it's rainin' ♪
♪ oh, oh ♪
♪ in the station ♪
♪ do you like ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ yeah, yeah ♪

[cheering]

Let's hear it for my little sister, Carly Shay!

Whoo!

Now who's ready to see Gordon and Jodi get married?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And who agrees that my butt is not flat?

[Cheers and applause]