01x03 - Doing Things the Hemingway

[bunniefuu]

Oh, here it goes.

♪ Everybody out there
go run and tell ♪

♪ Your homeboys
and homegirls ♪

♪ It's time for
kenan and kel ♪

♪ They'll keep you laughing
in the afternoon ♪

♪ So don't touch that dial,
don't leave the room ♪

♪ Because they're always
into somethin' fun ♪

♪ And you don't
want to miss it ♪

♪ It's double k
like do the good way ♪

♪ Kenan and kel, or should
I say kel and kenan? ♪

♪ Then you gotta
watch kenan ♪

♪ 'Cause kenan be scheming
with a plan or a plot ♪

♪ To make it to the top

♪ But they're kinda
in the middle ♪

♪ Because they're always
gettin' caught ♪

♪ This ain't the hardy boys
or nancy drew mystery ♪

♪ It's just kenan and kel
in your vicinity ♪

♪ Like siegfried and roy
or abbott and costello ♪

♪ Magic and kareem
or penn and teller ♪

♪ Somebody's in trouble?
Oh, here it go ♪

♪ On nick nick nick nick
nick nick nick nick ♪♪

What's happening?

All right.

Thank you!

Thank you very much.
My name is kenan.

Yeah, and I'm kel.

Hey, what's that?

A book.

Ooh! The pretty
little pony?

No, man. This is
a real book.

Remember in
pretty little pony

When the pretty little
pony got lost,

Then the ugly gorilla
threw him in the mud?

Remember that?

Yeah! Then mr. Bunny
came and licked
pretty little pony

All clean again.
Remember that?

Then jerry the giraffe
started licking him
like this--

Hey, hey--

Pretty little pony!

Hey, will you forget
about the pretty
little pony, man?

We got a show to do.

O.k. We can do
the show, brother,

But I will never
forget about
the pretty little pony.

I feel for you, bro.

Tonight's show
is about getting
your goals,

Going after them.
See--

Kenan. Ken--
it's your turn, man.

Hey,
you know something?

This book gives me
an idea.

Then close it,
quick!

I see you in a minute.

Kenan. Kenan, people
shouldn't be getting
ideas from books.

Kenan!

Aw, here it goes!

Hey, guys,

Look at the sign
I painted.

I call it...

Bananas...for a dollar.

I am quite the artiste,
if I do say so myself.

Looks like baseball mitts
to me.

Obviously, you know nothing
about fruit art.

Oh, yeah. In school,
I was always skipping
that fruit art class!

Skipping the fruit--
o.k.

What are you
reading there?

Oh, I'm reading
about ernest hemingway,

The great american author.

Oh! Ernest hemingway!

I have read all his books!
For whom the bell tolls.

The old man and the sea.
They're all classics.

I seen all his
movies.

Ernest
goes to camp.

Ernest saves
christmas.
Ernest--

Kel, I think
that may be
a different ernest.

Oh.

Hey, chris, what
that sign say?

Octopuses
for $ . ?

No. Bananas
for a dollar!

They look like
octopuses.

No, it doesn't!

I'll be outside
hanging my bananasign!

Check this out, kel.

Ernest hemingway said
that in order for him
to be a complete person,

He had to do things--

Plant a tree,
bear a son,
and fight a bull.

Well, then,
ernest hemingway's
an idiot.

Don't you see what
hemingway is saying?

He's saying set goals
and go for 'em.

It's a positive thing.

Oh! How'd you get
something so positive
from a schoolbook?

How'd you get something
so free from my store?

Isn't there anything
in your life that
you want to achieve?

Well, right now
my stomach want to
achieve that sandwich.

Isn't there something
more important
that you want?

I always wanted
to meet an eskimo.

O.k.

See, I'm gonna
set my goals

So I can be
a complete person

Just like
ernest hemingway.

What ever happened
to ernest hemingway?

Oh, he's dead.

I don't wanna
be that complete.

What were you
saying?

Hemingway was saying
try to achieve
your goals

Before you get
old, boring,
and bald-headed.

Kenan,
don't talk about

Your father
that way.

I wasn't.

Ooh, popcorn!

Help yourself!

What y'all watching?

Hopefully,
you goin' home.

We're watching this
classic old movie,
casablanca.

You know, kenan,
this is the first
movie

Your father and I
ever saw together.

Ooh!

This movie must be
real old!

I mean...ancient!

Cave men must have
seen this movie.

Don't you kids
have anything to do?

Yeah. Me and kel
are setting life goals
for ourselves.

Yeah. That's what
ernest hemingway did.

Listen to
the two of you!

You lookin' at
the new kenan,

The new thrill-seekin',
risk-takin',
globe-trottin' kenan.

But if only
you could be
the homework-doing,

Bed-making,
room-cleaning kenan.

I've already chosen
my goals.

I've decided
that I want to save
somebody's life,

I will declare my love
to a girl,

And I will climb
something real adventurous
like mount everest.

I want to meet
an eskimo.

Hey, this popcorn
needs some salt.

No, no, no salt.

Why not?

Salt makes me
puffy.

Listen, I'll go
get some salt.

So what you wanna
do, kel?

Actually,
I was gonna go home,

But I think I'll
watch the movie
with your daddy.

Oh, you don't
wanna do that.

Sure, I do. I wanna
start doin' things
I never done before.

It's just that
we're going to bed
pretty soon.

Well, since you're
going to bed,

You wouldn't mind
if I took it home
with me.

Hey,
hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey!

You're right.

I don't have a vcr.

Uh, honey,
where's kel?

He left.

He took our videotape

And our vcr!

It all happened
so fast.

Y'all want me
to call him back?

No!no!

Life goals...
Declare my love to a girl,

Climb something
really adventurous
like mount everest,

Save a life.

Save a...

Chris!!

Your shoe's untied.

Whew!

Thanks.

So I guess I really
saved your life
on that one, huh?

No, you didn't.

Oh, come on!

You coulda tripped
over your shoelace

And busted your head
wide open!

Admit it!
I saved your life.
Chh, chh!

Have you been sniffing
the yogurt again?

Ooh!

Oh! Better be careful.
I might not be there
next time.

Man, it's been almost
a whole day,

And I haven't accomplished
any of my life goals yet.

Hey, chris, you ever
eat a dog biscuit?

No.

Eew!
Eew!

That's darn good!

Great. Next
he's gonna relieve
himself on my floor.

Hey, kenan,
here's your parents'
tape.

What did you do
to it?!

One of my goals
was to see

What the inside of
a tape looked like.

There's something
very wrong about you.

Something
real incorrect.
Not right!

Something!

Wanna see me stuff
grapes in my mouth?

No.

It's one of
my life goals.

Look, I made
a whole list of stuff.

Check it out. Yeah!

"Kel's life goals.
Meet a eskimo.

Ride a bike naked"?
Ow.

"Look inside
a videotape."

Yeah, you already
done that one.

"Spank a walrus"?

"Invent a new soup.

Get rid of my rash."

I told you to use
your ointment, man!

Let's change that
to...

Grapes.

I did it! Ha ha!

Man, all you did

Was make a mess!

Hey, you got any
of those magazines
that women read?

I have to read one.

You have to?

Yeah, a goal's a goal.

Oh, look. Ladies day.

" Tips for womanly
hips."

Um, excuse me.
Do you have cotton balls?

You know, balls...

Of cotton?

Uh--uh--yeah--yeah.

They right over
there.

O.k. Thank you.

You're welcome!

Kel!

Man, she's here!

Hey, kenan,
did you know

That it only take
one week to firm
your chest?

Don't ever say that
to me again.

That's the girl
I'm gonna declare
my love to.

Where she at?

Don't look, man!
Keep pretending to read!

I'm not pretending!
I know how to read.

Go find out
her name for me, man.

She's the beautiful one
by the cotton balls.

O.k.--

What?

Kenny, you sure
about this?

Of course I'm sure!

She looks kinda
old!

She's probably
a senior!

She definitely
a senior.

Just play it cool, man.

All right.

Um, excuse me, ma'am.

Yes, young man?

Um...what is
your name?

My name?
Psst!

Hey. Hey!

Not her,
man.

Oh.

My name is ethyl!

Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am.
Nobody cares.

Um...excuse me.
What is your name?

Brianna.

Brianna!

Hey, kenan,
her name's brianna!

Brianna: hi, kenan.

Why is he reading
new bridemagazine?

Who's readin'--ooh!

My bad. Right. Ahem!

Whispers:
I got you!

Hey.

Brianna.

If someone wanted
to declare their
love for you,

How would you want
kenan to do it?

Kel! Kel,
can I see you
for a second?

Excuse me.
Let me see you
in the back
for a second.

Excuse me for a second.

Yeah, sure.
Take your time.

Hey, bro,
I hooked you up, man!

I think she like you, man!
Hey--oh!

Sit down.

What are you
doing?!

I think she thinks
you're cute.

Stop it!

It's probably
your pretty eyes.

Is one of your
life goals to ruin
my life goals?

Nope. I don't
see that on here.

Look, I've come up
with a new plan

That's gonna help me
accomplish of my goals
at the same time.

How you gonna
do that?

Well, I wanna declare
my love for brianna,
right?

And I wanna climb
something really
adventurous like
mount everest, right?

Uh-huh.
O.k.

You and I
are gonna climb
to the top

Of the tallest
building in the country,

The sears tower.

I thought you wanted
to climb on top of
mount everest.

Well, yeah, but
mount everest is so
far away and cold.

The sears tower
is right here
in chicago.

Plus, the stairs
are indoors.

Oh!

So you wanna
declare your love
to the sears tower!

Good thinkin'.

No, man!

Listen.

What?

Once we climb
to the top of
the sears tower,

Then...we--
you and me--

Can declare my love
for brianna

By hanging a big old
banner for her to see.

Oh...how high
is the sears tower?

Stories.

You let me know
how it turn out.

No, no, no.
You comin' with.

Oh, man!
I got corns, man!

Come on, man!

Brianna...

Look up at
the sears tower
tonight!

O...k.

Chris! Kel and I
are gonna go climb

The stairs
of the sears tower.

You know,
they have an
elevator there.

Anyone can take
an elevator!

Come on, kel.
You can do it.

Are we there yet?

Will you stop
asking me that?

We still got
more stories
to go.

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm leaving
a trail of bread crumbs

So we can find
our way back.

We just goin' upstairs!
The way back is called
downstairs!

Now, come on!

We almost there?

This is gettin'
heavy.

Why'd you pack
so much stuff?

What do you have
in there?

Let's see...

Weights.

Gee, kel, maybe
this is what's making
your bag heavy.

Ya think?!

Do you have any food,
man?

Uh, sure do.

Dog biscuits!

Do you have
any human food
that we can eat?

Oh!

Fruit?

Did you have to bring
the big old heavy
bowl, man?

I don't want
my backpack full of
loose fruits.

I also brought
a juice machine.

Why would you
bring a juicer?

To juice my fruits.

O-o.k.

Did it ever occur
to you

That carrying
all this stuff

Might be a--pfft,
shh, I dunno--

Inconvenient?

What's your point?

Why don't we just
leave this useless
stuff here,

And we'll pick it up
on our way back, o.k?

[Grunts]

One more floor.

Man...

I wish I had
some fresh squeezed juice.

Kel...

I can't go on, man.

You just take
the banner of love
and go.

Leave me here to die!

O.k.

Wait, man, wait.

I'm gonna do it.

All right.

[Grunts] uh!

Kenan.

Huh?

What if the door
to the roof is locked?

[Trying knob]

Nooooo!

It's locked?

[Rattling knob]

[Pounding on door]

Oh...oh!

Yes!

I made it!

You made it!

Now I can declare
my love for..

Brianna.

Let's hang the banner.

Whoa!

We must be stories high!

It's stories.

Remember?

That's why my feet
are throbbing.

Man, that's
a long way down!

Oh, yeah!

That is...
A long way down.

Hey, look.
We could jump on
this thingy thing

And hang the banner
real easy.

Hey, man be careful.

I don't know
about this, kel.

Come on, man.

Ooh...

Ooh!

All right.

Come on, man.
It's real easy.

I'm comin'.

Man, will you look
at this view?!

I mean,
there's no way
we could be

Any higher
off the ground!

No. No way! Ha ha!

Can't be no higher.

Kenan, you lookin'
in the wrong direction.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.
This way!

Oh! There it is!

What say we hang
this thing and get
outta here, huh?

All right.
Here you go.

You got it?

Yeah.

Come over this way
a little bit.

Hey, what this
thing do?

What does what do,
man?

Please don't start
press--oh!

Why are we moving,
man? Make us stop!

I didn't mean it!

We're stuck!

You sure?

Of course I'm sure!

We're not moving!

And not moving
equals stuck!

Maybe if I rock it.

Oh! Oh! Man,
stop it!

Stop that, man!

It's not helping!

Why must you be
so rambunctious?!

Oh, man!

What?

Everybody's
gonna think

I'm in love with
some guy named
brian.

You think
that's a problem?
It's getting cold!

We gonna be
out here all night!

Don't worry.
When we don't
come home,

Your parents will
come looking for us.

Uh-oh.

What?

I told my parents
I was staying
at your house.

What?

My parents think
I'm at your house!

They not even gonna
realize we missing.

[Sobs] eee...

Kenan. Kenan.

[Loud wails]

Come on, man.

Come on, baby.

Mama knows. Mama knows.

Kenan, I got an idea.

You got an idea.

Yes. I have an idea.

Calm down.
It's gonna work.

Heeeeeelp!

Heeeeeeelp!

I give up.
What's your plan?

Well...
My immediate plan

Was to stay out here
all night

And freeze to death.

That's not a good
plan at all.

Well...so far,
everything's going
according to plan.

Yeah. I'm freezin'.

Ooh! Wait a second.
You have a pen?

Yeah.

What for?

We'll just write
a note

And throw it over
and somebody...

Down there
will read it
and rescue us.

That depends on what
we write on the note.

If we don't mention
that we stuck here,

They might not
figure it out.

Just--just give me
a piece of paper!

What is all this junk?

A cactus?

A bowling pin?

A hair dryer?

A cell phone?

What?

What is this?!

A cell phone!
Man, gimme that!

Did you know
that was in there
the whole time?

Yeah. It's my mom's.
I can only use it
in an emergency.

Oh! Well,
you won't mind

If we just use it
anyway, would ya?

Hello.

Uh--father. Hi.

It's kenan.

Your only son.
Remember?

I remember, kenan.
What's up?

Well, to tell you
the truth,

We are!

Funniest thing
happened, pop.

You think you can
come pick me up?

Over kel's?

Well...

Not exactly.

You're not at
kel's house?

I can see kel's
house.

Kenan,
where are you?

Um...you know where
the sears tower is,
right?

Just go to
the sears tower and...

Look up.
All the way up.

We're stuck!
You can't miss us!

We're a hundred
stories up

Under the big sign
that says kenan
loves brian!

Roger,
what's going on?
Who are you calling?

The fire department.

I gotta get kenan
and kel down from
the sears tower!

Honey, do we know
a brian?

Kenan.

What?

I gotta go
to the bathroom!

Unless you can hit
that tree down there,

I suggest you wait.

Hey!

[Helicopter
approaches]

Hey, look, there's
a helicopter!

Man: kenan, kel!

You fellas hang tight!
We're gonna throw you
down a ladder!

O.k., I'm going
first.

I'm going first!

I'm going first!

I am!

All right.
We'll flip for it.

Heads I go first,
tails you go.

Fine.

Heads! I win!

What? You can't
see a quarter

From stories
up!

Get off the ladder.
Get off the ladder.

I ain't gonna
tell you twice, man.

Get off the ladder!

Get off!

Uh-oh.

It's cold up here!

Thank you
very much.
Thank you.

Everybody
have fun tonight,
right?!

[Audience cheers]

You know what,
kel, man?

I think we learned
something tonight.

That we should be
patient

And not try to reach
all our goals at once?

No, man, I was
just joking.

I ain't learned nothing!

I didn't think so.

Kenan.

What?

I can't believe it,
man!

What?

You're an eskimo!

I know.

I can't believe
you're real!

Please...
Stop touching me.

Come here!

There's so many
things I wanna ask you.

I know there's
so many things
you wanna ask me,
too, right?

No, not really.

O...k. Well,
that's our show
for tonight...

Hello!

Can I help you?

I'm brian.

I saw your sign!

Uh--ri-right, bri--

Uh--kel...

Forget the eskimo, man.

We--we gotta go
to the airport.

Why we going
to the airport?

Man, I will tell you
when we get to
the airport, man!

Aw, here it goes!

Man!

Why?!

Kenan and kel was recorded
in front of a live audience