01x05 - Mo' Sweater Blues

[bunniefuu]

Oh, here it goes.

♪ Everybody out there,
go run and tell ♪

♪ Your homeboys
and homegirls ♪

♪ It's time for
kenan and kel ♪

♪ They'll keep you laughing
in the afternoon ♪

♪ So don't touch that dial,
don't leave the room ♪

♪ Because they're always
into some more fun ♪

♪ And you don't
want to miss it ♪

♪ It's double k
like do the good way ♪

♪ Kenan and kel,
or should I say kel and kenan? ♪

♪ Then you gotta
watch kenan ♪

♪ 'Cause kenan be scheming
with a plan or a plot ♪

♪ To make it to the top

♪ But they're kinda
in the middle ♪

♪ Because they're
all the same call ♪

♪ This ain't the hardy boys
or nancy drew mystery ♪

♪ It's just kenan and kel
in your vicinity ♪

♪ Like siegfried and roy
or abbott and costello ♪

♪ Magic and kareem
or penn and teller ♪

♪ Somebody's in trouble?
Oh, here go ♪

♪ On nick nick nick nick
nick nick nick nick ♪

[Audience cheering]

Oh, man. Hello!
Thank you.

Thank you very much.
Thank you.

Welcome to the show.

I think you all
know kel.

[Audience cheering]

They know you.
Ha ha!

You might recognize kenan
from television.

You recognize me?
Yeah! Ha ha!

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

[Sniffing]

Mmm.

Man, what
are you eating?

An onion.

Hoo!

Want some?
No! Nasty!

You sure? It's
a mighty good onion.

First of all,

A young man should
not be chomping down
on a raw onion.

Secondly, I plan
to ask a girl out
on a date tonight.

So?

So...i don't want
to have funky onion
breath like you.

I don't have
funky onion breath.

I beg to differ,
brother.

Well, I'll ask
the audience.

Do I have
funky onion breath?

All: yeah!

Kenan: uh-huh, see?

They don't seem
happy, do they?

Now, let's tell
the people about
tonight's show.

The show's about you
and a girl, right?

Yeah.

Good. Then maybe
you won't get me
into trouble for once.

I said, maybe
you won't get me
into trouble for once.

[Laughing]

Kenan!

That's funny.
Ha ha ha!

K-kenan, why are
you laughing?

Trouble isn't funny!

It--it's troublesome!

Kenan!

Aw, here it goes!

[Audience cheering]

[Humming]

Oh, my head!

My head!

Kenan, toss me
a bottle of aspirin,
would you?

Yep.

Oh! Ow!

I said toss,
not heave!

I didn't heave.
You heaved!

Never mind.
I got to get rid
of this headache.

How long has your head
been hurting?

Ever since
I hired you.

Well...

Darn these
child-protective caps!

Look, chris, man,
all you got to do

Is squeeze the cap
and turn it to the left, man.

The left.

[Bell rings]

Or that could be
effective.

[Bell rings]

Hey, everybody!

Oh, no!
Away with you!

Kenan, you got change
for a dollar?

Yeah. Get it out
of the cash register.

Chris: oh, aspirin.
Aspirin everywhere.

Oh!

What is the matter
with you?

What's up?

You struck me
in the head with
the cash register,

That's what's up!

Kenan, pass me some
deodorant, brother.

All right.

Deodorant...deodor--
oh, here we go.

Hey, kenan,
do you want to smell
like a feminine breeze

Or like
a spicy lumberjack?

Hoo! That's
a tough decision.

I think I'll make
my left side breezy

And my right one
spicy, 'cause...

That's
my naughty side.

Hee hee hee!
Naughty.

Whew! That is
your naughty side.

How many times do I have
to tell you it is wrong
to sniff people?

Let me just
do this right...

Hey, how come
all of a sudden
you care how you smell?

'Cause, man, briana's
going to be here
in a few minutes.

Ooh, briana! How do
you know she's coming?

'Cause she comes
here every friday
at around : .

That's when she buys
her fruits. Hee hee!

Yeah. Thatbriana.

Yeah, that one.
And tonight, finally,

I'm going to ask her
to go out. Ha ha!

Why? You don't want her
in the store?

No, you nut!
I'm going to ask her
to go out on a date.

Oh...oh...yeah.

Shh! There
she is, man.

[Bell rings
as door closes]

Hey, briana!

Hi, kenan.

I see you're buying
a grapefruit today.

That's right.

Hey...i'll tell you
what, it's on me.
No charge.

Thanks.

You're welcome,
'cause, uh...

A beautiful piece of
fruit for a beautiful
piece of...girl.

Ooh...thanks.

Beautiful
piece of girl?

Mind your business!

Well, bye, guys.

Wait, wait, wait,
wait, briana.

Um, I was just wondering
if you would like

To go down
to this restaurant

That just opened up
down the block...

Like, with me?
Like, talking and
eating on a date?

Sure, I'd love to.

How about
tomorrow night?

What's my name?
Tell me twice.

Kenan, kenan!

I'm the man!

Yeah,
tomorrow night's cool.

All right. I'll see you
tomorrow night.

Yeah, I will see you
tomorrow night.

Bye.bye, girl.
sh**t!

You better bring
that backpack
tomorrow...

Locked in the trunk.

Yeah! Yeah!

I'm the man! Yeah!
I can't believe it, man!

Me, either.
I was sure she'd say no.

Yeah. Me, too--what?

Don't you have
to baby-sit kaira
tomorrow night?

Oh, man! Why'd you have
to remember that?

Dang!

Kel...

Bye.

Kel!

No!
Yes!

I'm not going
to baby-sit your
little sister.

Come on, kel.

Kel! Who loves
orange soda?

K-k-k-kel...

Loves orange soda.

Is it true?
Is it true?

Mm-hmm.

I do, I do, I do,
I do, ooh...

And does kel
want a free case
of orange soda?

Oh!

Oh...

What? What?

[Sighs]

[Opens soda]

Ooh...

[Rap music playing]

Kel?

What?

How'd you get
to be so cute?

I eat ham.

I could just
eat youup.

Uh...

Kenan!

Shoo! So...how
do I look, brother?

Very pretty.
Can you do something
about kaira?

What is the problem?

She keeps telling me
I'm cute.

Aw...well, you arecute.

Who's a cute little kel?

Quit it!

Sorry.

[Doorbell rings]

That's briana, man.
Just act cool, all right?

I said act cool, man,
not diseased, all right?

[Doorbell]

Look, just stand
over here, all right?
Stay. Cool. Whew!

Briana! Hey!

Hi, kenan.
Hi there!

Hello.

That's my little
sister kaira.

And this is
my boyfriend kel.

I already know kel.

Oh, yeah?
Well, back off!

Kenan: ooh! Kaira!

Why don't you
come on in and have
a seat, all right?

Let me take
your sweater.

Oh, wow! This is
a nice sweater.

Thanks. My grandma
knitted it for me
before she passed away.

Oh, that is so nice.
I--i mean,

Not that your grandmama
passed away,

But I'm saying that
she knitted it before--

It's a very nice sweater.

Thanks. I only wear it
on special occasions.

Did you wear it
at your grandmama's funeral?

Don't be a clown, man!
Not the funeral, man!

That's ok. May I use
your rest room?

Oh, sure.
Kaira, would you mind
showing the young lady

Where she can find
the rest room?

Sure. Come on,
young lady.

I'll be
right back, kel.

Take your time! Eww!

Man, this is
going great!

Yeah, for you.

Man. Ooh!

This is
a pretty sweater.

Ain't it pretty?
Look at it.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, man, you done
drooled on the sweater!
Got it all orangy.

Where?
Right there.

Briana's not going
to notice that.

Right, 'cause we going
to clean it. Come on!

Wait a minute.
I'm watching bill cosby!

We got to hurry up!

Hey, kenan.
What?

You want
some pizza?

No.

All right,
the spot's gone.

No, it's not. I need
some more water. Move.

Looks good.

Aah!

Ow!

[Spits]

[Rattling door]

See what I'm going
to do now--aah!

Oh, my...

Ooh. Look, kenan.

You can't even see
the orange stain anymore.

Ha ha. Ha ha.

Kaira: kel!

Briana: kenan!

Look,
just come on, man!

Um, briana, what do
you say we head on
out to dinner now?

Ok.
All right, cool.

Let me help you
with your sweater,
all right?

Oh, you're
such a gentleman.

Oh, you know...
I try.

Hi, everybody.

Hi, guys!

Mom. Dad.

Kenan, this
must be briana.

Well, you're
as lovely as kenan
said you were.

Isn't her sweater
pretty?

Mom: oh, it is
a gorgeous sweater.

Thank you.

It was a gift
from her dead
grandmother.

You like it?

Oh, I love it!

I'm sure it's
a beautiful sweater.

Aw, kenan's
nervous. Look.

He's all sweaty.

Gee, thanks for
pointing it out, pop.
All right, bye!

Let's go
to the movie.

Kaira, you make sure
you're in bed by : , ok?

And don't let kel
eat too much pizza.

I've got kel
under control.

What's that
on briana's--

Ooh! Um, briana,
what do you say we head
on to dinner, too?

Bye.bye, kel.

Nice meeting
you, kaira.

See ya.

Whoa!

Uh, briana,
could you excuse me
for just one second?

Sure.
All right. Thanks.

What happened
to that girl's
sweater?

Kelhappened
to her sweater!
Man, this is bad!

What are you
going to do?

You'll have to come
down to the restaurant
and help me fix it.

I have to baby-sit
kaira.

Bring her with you.

Oh, man!

Can't her grandmother
just knit her up
another sweater?

Kel. Kel, stand up.
Let me tell you something.

Why don't you look
that way, brother.

Her grandmother
is dead!

[Asian music playing]

Hello. Welcome
to uncle wu's.

How are you
this evening?

I've been better.

How many
will be dining?

.

?
Mm-hmm.

So two more
people will be
joining you?

N-no.

But you--

Hey! Why must
you harass us?

Right this way.

Ok.

Here you are...
Table for two.

Or... .

All right. Let me take
your sweater. Whew!

Ok. Whew!

Ooh...is it cold
in here?

No! No, it's not
cold in here, silly.

Ha ha! In fact, it is
rather warm in here.

I'm burning up!

Lord, it's like the
deep south over here.

Boy...oh, look!
The menus. Oh. Whew!

Kenan! What's up?

Kenan: kel! Kaira!

What in heaven's name
are you two doing

At the same restaurant
I happen to be at also?

Oh, yeah. Uh...
You forgot your toothbrush.

Forgot my--oh. Oh, yeah!
My toothbrush.

How in the world
could I have forgotten
my toothbrush?

Man, it's cold
in here.

Ha! No, joker,
it's not cold.

No.hey, hey. Since
we just happen to
have a table for ,

Why don't the two
of you join us?

Hey, don't mind
if I do.

All right, my boy.

This is my very first
double date.

Is my breath ok?

Ooh, very minty.

Hello.

Huh?

May I take your order?

Yes, yes. I will have
a hamburger, onion rings,
spaghetti and meatballs,

Corn, macaroni and cheese,
and a pitcher of your
finest orange soda.

Sir, this is
a chinese restaurant.

Oh. I--i'm sorry.

[Loudly]
ning shang won,

Pwon bon shang kwon day,

Ding-a-ling ching blon,

Bwon chang shing shang,

Mama say mama manyu
maku say.

You want me
to park your truck
on my mother's face?

Kenan: hey, hey,
hey, waiter, sir!

What do you suggest?
Never mind him.

Ahem.

I suggest you start
with a pu pu platter.

Eww!

Kaira, please,
all right?

Now, what
exactly comes on
the poo-poo platter?

I don't want
any poo-poo.

A pu pu platter is
just a variety of
chinese appetizers.

You have egg rolls,
spareribs, shrimp.

One platter's
enough for .

Oh. Well,
I think we'll take
some poo-poo.

Yes, sir,
right away.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

All right.

[Sighs]

I have to go, uh,
uh, brush my teeth.
Yeah, that's it.

Before you eat?
Shouldn't you brush
after you eat?

Yeah. But, see,
the chinese people
do things

A little
differently.

Come on, kel!

I'm sorry.

[Laughing]

[Pretending
to cough]

Kenan, what
are you doing?

I just thought
that you might like

A little shoulder
massage before I go,
you know?

Yeah. You like that
a little to the right?
A little to the left?

Is it good to you?
Bye!

Oh! I am sorry!

Oh, man, look at this!

It'll come out.
Let me see it.

Hey, man,
this better work!

Don't worry.
I got it.

Oh, man, you just
made it soapy!

You got
to rinse it out.

What?

Wait, wait, wait,
kel. Wait, kel! Kel!
What are you doing?

[Flushing toilet]

Kel!

Man, now we stained
it full of all nasty
toilet juice!

Man, that's never
going to dry.

Wait. Wait.
Yes, it will.

Aah!

[Sputtering]

I told you...oh!

Ooh...

You know what
that looks like?

Yes, I know what
it looks like!

What--wait, you better
stop right there, man!

I'm just trying
to help.

Just dry the sweater.
Hurry!

Ok.

[Running dryer]

Uh, kenan...

This may take
a while.

We don't have a while!
The poo-poo is on its way!

Wait, I got it. Rigby's is
right down the block.

He's got all sorts
of cleaning stuff there.

Take the sweater,
and I'll meet you in
minutes, all right? Go!

Hey.
What?

Save me
some poo-poo.

Get out!

[Runs dryer]

Come on.
Yeah, that's right.

Come on. Do it,
baby. Come on!

Help me--

Eek!

[Running dryer]

How's the sweater?

It's almost dry.

All right, cool.
Here, dry my pants, too.

I'm going to try some
of this cleaning stuff.

Kenan, aren't you
supposed to be
out on a date?

I amon a date.

How does it look?

Like something
you coughed up.

No!

Kel: hey, kenan!
What?

Wouldn't it be
great if this just
never happened?

I don't know
if this will help,

But there's
a high-powered hose
outside in the alley.

Maybe you could
blast it clean.

All right, I'll grab
the hose, and you hang
the sweater up there.

Now what?

Let's hope this
will blast the stain
out of the sweater.

All right,
go to it!

Aah!

[Car honking]

[Tires squealing]

Ohh, no.

Ohh...

Oh.

Didn't work, huh?

Come on, man!
Hurry up!

Quick, man, where's
your dishwasher?

Right over there.

All right, cool.

[Starts dishwasher]

You're not wearing
any pants.

I'm aware of that,
man.

But you should
be wearing pants.

This has got to work.
It's my last chance,
my last hope!

Let go of me
and put on your pants!

But you don't
understand, man.

I understand you're
not wearing pants.

Where are they?

Probably out...
Buying you a gift.

Kaira?

Dad! Mom!

What are you
doing here?

We saw the movie,
then we decided
we were hungry...

Wait a minute.
What are youdoing here?

I came with kenan.

Where's kenan?

What's going on here?

I don't know
where kenan is.

[All talking at once]

Kenan!
Your mom and dad--

Kel, look! It's not
that bad, brother.

It looks pretty good.
I told you everything
was going to work out.

We did it! Ha ha!
Yeah...

[Sniffing]

What's that smell,
man?

I don't know.

Aah!aah!

Ow, ow, ow!

Ow, ow, ow!

Ohh!

Oh...

Oh!ohh!

All right, let's go!
Let go of it!

Let me fix it.

Haven't you done
enough?

You can have it.

[Sputtering]

[Sobs]

Why?

Aah!aah!

[Gasping]

Oh...ooh...

Eek...

Oh, yeah...
Your parents are here.

Kenan...

Pop...

What in the world
is going on here?

And what is kaira
doing here?

And, boy,
where in the world
are your pants?

I think I should
be leaving now.

Where is
my sweater?

[Gasps]

[Whimpering]

Tell your grandmama
I'm sorry.

What?

Her grandmama's
dead!

Both: oh, man!

[Audience applauding
and cheering]

Hey, thank you!

Hey, that's our show!

Who wants the rest
of the pu pu platter?
You all do?

All right, here's
some shrimp for you
right there.

There's some spareribs
for you.

Spareribs, you know.
Here's an egg roll for--

What--
what's the matter?

Egg rolls were
briana's favorite.

Man, will you forget
about briana?

I will not forget
about her!

She's my girl.

There's no way you're
going to get briana
to go back out with you,

So just forget it.

All right, fine!
Forget her.

I got a better idea.
Heh heh!

Why don't you grab
a bucket of glue

And meet me
down at the church,
all right?

Let's go on
to the church.

Kenan! No, no!

You're going
to get people
all sticky!

Kenan, thou
shall not glue!

K-kenan?

Aw, here it goes!

Captioning made possible by
nickelodeon and u.s. Department
of education

Captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.

Public performance of captions
prohibited without permission of
national captioning institute

Hey!
Hey!

Look at the people!

I feel love!
What's up?

How y'all doing?
My name's kel.

And I'm known
as kel.

See,
my name's kenan.

Let's change that to...

[Inaudible]

Hey, kenan.

What?

Is any pie made by
an eskimo considered
an eskimo...pie?

What is your problem?

My problem?

Here's one!

The door's open.

Whew!

Hey, briana!

Nobody's been able--

[Stammering]

Man: he's got a wife.

Nobody's been able
to ever--

Guess that explains it.

Kenan: why?