01x11 - Merry Christmas, Kenan

[bunniefuu]

Oh, here it goes!

♪ Everybody out there,
go run and tell ♪

♪ Your homeboys and homegirls
it's time for kenan and kel ♪

♪ They keep you laughing
in the afternoon ♪

♪ So don't touch that dial,
don't leave the room ♪

♪ 'Cause they always
into something that's fun,
and you don't want to miss it ♪

♪ It's double k
like do the good way ♪

♪ Kenan and kel, or should
I say kel and kenan? ♪

♪ And you got to watch kenan
'cause kenan be schemin' ♪

♪ With a plan or a plot
to make it to the top ♪

♪ But they kind of
in the middle 'cause they
always getting caught ♪

♪ This ain't the hardy boys
or a nancy drew mystery ♪

♪ It's just kenan and kel
in your vicinity ♪

♪ Like siegfried and roy
or abbott and costello ♪

♪ Magic and kareem
or penn and teller ♪

♪ Somebody's in trouble,
ah, here it go ♪

♪ On nick ni-nick nick
ni-nick nick nick ♪

Everybody's here.
That's sweet.

Welcome to the show,
everybody.

Yeah, and you guys
are in luck

Because tonight we have
a very special episode
of kenan & kel.

All right!

[Applause and cheering]

Hey, wait, wait,
wait, wait.

Hey, man, all our
shows are special.

Yeah. I know this,
but this is our
christmas show!

Right, right, right.

[Applause and cheering]

I don't know, kel.
It just doesn't feel

Like christmas
to me, you know?

Hey, well,
we can fix that.

We can?

Yeah. Sure. We're
on a television show.

Special effects,
please!

[Bells jingling]

Whoo!

Hey, hey.
You like that?

Yeah, yeah.
So what's next, bro?

A one-horse
open sleigh?

You heard the man!

That's a horse?

Um...

It was
a last-minute thing,
you know.

Well, you know,
kel...

Hmm?

This could be
a very merry
christmas.

Hyah! Giddyap!

[Applause]

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Kenan, merry for who?

Kenan, don't take
my sleigh without
leaving a deposit!

Kenan! I--i'm cold
and frightened!

Oh, here it goes!

Here's some more
candy cane.

I'll hang those up.

Mm-hmm. Just don't hang
them all on your tongue.

Excuse me, kel.
What are you
doing?

Uh, I'm hanging
christmas-tree ornaments.

Let me see this.
You're hanging up
cans of orange soda?

Yeah. Check it out.

♪ We wish you
an orange christmas ♪

♪ We wish you
an orange christmas ♪

And I'm wishing
you'd go home.

Ha ha! Ha!

Yeah.

Hey, kenan, you see these?

Kenan, you see my orange
christmas-tree ornaments?

Yeah. Uh-huh.
Very orangey.

Now, kenan, what's this?

Hey, hey!

Whoa! A mountain bike!

Not just
any mountain bike.

This is
the rollblazer deluxe
elite mountain bike.

Man, this bike
has everything.

Mm-hmm. Spinning wheels,
rock shocks,

X-ray grip shift,
nargar titanium frame,

And it's going to be
my christmas present.

Man, who's going to spend
that much money buying you
a christmas present?

Me.

You?

Yeah, man. I've been
saving up all year--

My allowance, the money
my grandparents gave me
for my birthday,

And almost all
the money I've earned
working at rigby's.

Yeah, but if you
spend all your money
buying that bike,

How you going to buy
christmas presents
for your family

And--ahem--friends?

Hmm. You think
I should get the bike

In machine green
or babalu blue?

See, that's not
what I asked you--

Come on, boys.
Time to put the star
on top of the tree.

Yeah! I'll do it!

All right. Come on.

Roger: no, no.
I always put the star
on top of the tree.

That's my job.
Every christmas--

Aah!

Well, bye.

Ok, mrs. Quagmire.
There you are.
Merry christmas.

Oh, thank you, young man.
I dolove christmas!

Oh, I bet you do!

And I dolove to sing
christmas carols!

Ok! Bye-bye now!

Would you like to hear
a christmas carol?

No, no, please.
I'm allergic.

♪ On the first day
of christmas ♪

♪ My true love
gave to me ♪

Oh, man!

♪ A partridge
in a pear tree ♪

Thank you.
Now, have a nice--

♪ On the second day
of christmas ♪

♪ My true love
gave to me ♪

Why?!

♪ Two turtledoves
and a partridge
in a pear tree ♪

♪ On the--

Twelfth!

♪ On the twelfth day
of christmas ♪

♪ My true love
gave to me ♪

♪ Loads of luggage,
funky chickens ♪

♪ Lumps of liver,
pimples popping ♪

♪ Ladies' panties,
brown parkas ♪

♪ Caesar salads,
and park bench
in a prune tree ♪

Bye!

Hey, kenan!
Look what I found!

It's a life-size mechanical
santa claus! Lookit!

Ooh, where'd you
get that, chris?

I found him outside
in the back.

Look at this.
Ooh, he's heavy.
Help me set him up.

You know, I would,
but it's my break.

I'll be
in the back room.

Fine. I'll do it myself.

Kel and mrs. Quagmire:
♪ jingle bells

♪ Jingle all the way

♪ Oh, what fun
it is to ride ♪

♪ In a one-horse
open sleigh, hey! ♪

♪ Jingle bells,
jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way

Kel, would you
get in here?

♪ In a one-horse
open sleigh, hey! ♪

Hey!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What were you doing
in the alley?

Singing
with the elderly.

Hey, you still staring
at that mountain bike?

Can't help it.

Chris: kenan!
Come give me a hand!

What?

I can't reach the plug!
Come help me plug
this thing in!

I'm on my break!

I have to
do everything
myself.

Oh.

Oh, look at that.

Oh, what the--

Hey! Hey! Help!

In a minute!

Hey, come
to the mall with me
to see my new bike.

But what about the store?

Chris can
handle things till
I get back. Come on.

Mrs. Quagmire: ♪ dashing
through the snow ♪

♪ In a one-horse
open sleigh ♪

♪ O'er the fields
we go... ♪

Get off me!
Kenan!

Stop it!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Hey, santa
is k*lling a guy!

Cool!

Chris: help!

Come on, santa!

Call !

There she is!
The bike
of bikes!

What do you
think?

I've never wanted
to sit upon something
so badly.

Man: well! Look
who's back again!

Shall I wrap it up
and pop a bow on it?

Oh, not yet,
but soon.

I've almost
got enough money
saved up for it.

Oh, better hurry,
though. Christmas
is just days away.

I hope no one
snatches it up.

Aah!

Wait. Can't you
hold it for him

Until he
has the money
to pay for it?

Sorry. No can do.

What if
I put down $ ?

Yes! Can do!

I'll go
ring up a hold slip.
Be back in a moochey.

Moochey!moochey!

Don't worry, baby.

Soon I'll get you
out of here
and take you home,

Where I can give you
all the loving
you deserve.

Hey, hey, hey.
Why don't you
climb on?

Do I dare?

I think you do.

Whoo! I'm scared.

Come on, man.

Oh!

Wow!

How does it feel?

It's--it's hard
to describe.

I feel all tingly
and warm and...

Squishy inside!

Excuse the news,
but until that
is paid for in full,

No sitting or touching.

Oh, sorry.

Come on, man.
Let it go.

No! Don't
separate us!

Let it go.
Sorry. He's
a little emotional.

I do not judge.

Just sign here,
and we'll hold it for you
until christmas eve.

Ok.

Perfect!
Hasta la see ya!

Hasta la see ya!hasta la see ya!

Hey, man, come on.
Let's go before you
start to drool again.

Hey, hey. Let's go
to the toy section.

Ok. Come on.

Yay!

[Gasp]

Kenan, look!

What is that?

It's a tuba-phone!

A tuba-phone?

See, it's not
just a tuba.

It's a phone!

Is that cool
or what?

Yes. Many a time,
I've been talking
on the telephone

And thinking to myself,
"you know,

If only I could
be blowing a tuba
during this conversation."

Me, too!

Next!

Oof! Ho ho ho!

What's your name,
little fella?

Sam. My name is sam.

Well, sam, have you been
a good boy this year?

Can we just get
down to business?

Sure. What would you like
to get for christmas?

I want an airplane.

An airplane?

You heard me,
big boy.

I want
a real air force
fighter jet.

A real jet fighter?
Ho ho ho!

What's with
the "ho ho"s?

Did I say
something funny?

Am I some kind
of a clown?
I want a plane!

But that's
such a big present
for such a little boy.

Ho ho ho!

Santa! Santa! Santa!

Man: all right,
all right!

What's going on?
What's happened here?

Some tough kid
belted santa!

Oh, dear. All right.
Santa claus, wake up.

St. Nick? Nicky boy?
Please don't handle
the elf.

No. You can't take him.
That's my jolly fat man.

Please, you can't
incarcerate papa noel.

I need him. Please
don't take him away.

Hey! My kid
has been waiting
in line

For half
an hour to see
santa claus!

Yeah! I want to see
santa claus!

My kid has been
waiting an hour!

Man: all right.
All right. Relax.

No need to mob up
on me like this.

I'll scurry off
and--oh, dear.

I'll find a--oh, you.
Uh, no. Perhaps--

Kenan: ♪ tanya
has a tuba-phone ♪

♪ Jake has
a tuba-phone ♪

You two!
Please! Please!

I need one of you
to be santa claus.

What?

Please. I have
irate parents
and children over here

Demanding to see
santa claus.

I can't be
santa claus.

Yes. Please.
You could help me.

I'll pay you $ !

$ ?
Hey, that's
almost enough

For you to get
your bike.

Well? Will you
be santa?

What do you say?

Uh, I say...

Ho ho ho!

Here. Come right
this way. You, too.

Me, too?

Santa! Santa! Santa!

No need
for v*olence.

I don't believe
in v*olence.

Hey! It's
santa claus!

Ho ho ho!

And I'm santa's
little elf!

All right, santa.
Right this way, please.
You sit right here

And, you know, ho ho ho,
be santa claus.

I understand.

All right. Good.
Little elf. Great. Fine.

All right, everyone.
Santa will now begin
seeing the children.

Ho ho ho.

Ho ho ho!

What's your name,
little boy?

Raymond.

Raymond! And what
can santa bring you
for christmas this year?

I want a tuba-phone.

Yeah!
Good call!

Thanks, elf.

Well, raymond,
santa will do his best

To bring you a tuba-phone
for christmas.

Thanks, santa.

No problem.
Check you later.

Merry christmas.

You're good
at this.

It's a lot easier
than working
at rigby's, too.

Santa! Santa! Santa!

Ooh! Help! Help me!

Come on, santa!
Kick his rump!

Yeah!
Yeah!

Santa! Santa! Santa!

Ho ho ho! All right!

Ho ho!

Next!

Well! Ho ho! Come on up
and sit on santa's lap,
little girl.

Santa claus,
this is kishka.

She's
from fishlakia.

Fishlakia?

Yes. I'm afraid
she doesn't speak
any english.

I told her you
wouldn't be able
to talk to her,

But she said that
if you were really
santa claus--

Kishka...

[Speaking
foreign
language]

[Speaking
foreign language]

[Singing jingle bells
in foreign language]

Oh, thank you very much.

Merry christmas now.
Y'all take care.

Nikts.

Nikts.
Nikts.

Next?

Just wait here,
ok, katie?

Kenan: well! Ho ho ho!

And what's your name,
little boy?

I'm daniel.

Well, hello there,
daniel.

Nice to meet you,
santa.

Over there is my
little sister katie.

Hi there, katie!

And what can santa
bring you this christmas?

Oh, nothing for me,
thanks.

What do you mean,
nothing?

I was just hoping
that maybe

You could bring
my little sister
a new bike.

Oh, yes, yes,
but what do youwant
for christmas?

Oh, don't worry
about me.

Just a bike for
my little sister.

See, she had a bike,
but it got stolen,

And my mom can't
afford to get her
a new one.

Oh, well, santa
will do his best

To bring a bike
for your sister
this christmas.

You mean it?
Wow! Thanks, santa!

Katie,
santa is going to
bring you a bike.

Come say thanks.

She's just shy.
Thanks, santa.

Katie, wait up.
Mom, come on!

Hi. I'm their mother.

Yeah. So, you're
going to get her
a new bike, right?

Oh, I wish I could.

But i--i told them--

Oh, don't worry.
I'll find a way
to explain it to them.

I'll just tell them
santa got lost
or something.

They'll understand.

Bye now.

Merry christmas.

M-m-m--

M-m-m--

M-merry christmas.

M-merry
christmas.

Orange soda?

Thanks.

You know,
you were great
as santa claus.

Yeah, yeah, man.

You should
play santa claus
all year round.

What? What's wrong?
What'd I say?

I can't stop thinking
about that family, man.

You know, that poor
little bikeless girl.

[Door chime rings]

Kenan, I'm back.

Aah!

Kenan: hey, chris.

Oh, hey,
I got your paycheck.

Oh, thanks.

Now you got
enough to get
that mountain bike.

Oh, yeah!

Yeah. You better
hurry up before
the store closes.

Right.
I better hurry up.

Kenan, wait a minute!
I need you to--oh!

Don't worry, chris.
I'll hang out
with you. Yeah.

Oh!

I was wondering
if you were going to be
a no-show or a show-show.

Well,
I'm a show-show. Oh!

Ah! Did you bring
el money-o?

Yeah, yeah. I got
it all right here.

[Bicycle bell rings]

Merry christmas,
sweetheart.

Well, uh,
shall I ring her up?

Knock-knock. Hello!

Do you want
the mountain bike?
Yea or nay?

Aah!

All right. Now,
where's the tree?
Where's the tr--

Oh, look at
their little tree.

How can I get
the presents--

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!aah!

Aah!aah!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You're
the santa claus

From putman's
department store.

Yeah. Uh-huh.
That would be me.

What are you
doing here?

Oh, well, I was
kind of in the--

Santa claus!

Oh! Ho ho ho!
Merry christmas, katie!
Merry christmas, daniel!

Wow! What are you
doing here?

What do you think
I'm doing--oh.

I--i mean,
I brought you presents.
Ho ho ho!

Brought presents
for the children.

This is very nice
of you...santa.

Oh. Ho ho ho.

Wow! A portable
cd player!

Hey! Look
what you got!

Guys, why don't
we wait

And open the rest
of these presents
later, ok?

Yes, yes. Santa must
be on his way now.

Oi! Oi! Oi!

Ai, ai, ai!

But before I go...

Would anyone like
one of these?

Well, then come on
up here, katie.

Wow! Thanks,
santa claus!
It's great!

Oh, you're welcome.

Oh, and, uh, daniel...

Do you like
mountain bikes?

Absolutely!

Then get your butt
up on there, son!

Yes, sir, santa!

All righty! Come on.

Ho ho ho with me.
Make it a jolly day.

Ho ho ho!
Merry christmas!
Ho ho ho!

All right. Who wants
more dessert?

I do! I do!

I couldn't eat
another bite.

All right, then.
Let's get to it!

Yeah!
Yeah!

What are we doing?

Chris, every christmas eve,

We let each one of the kids
pick one present to open.

And I'm going first!
All right. Let's see.

Open this one.
It's from me.

Oh, why, kel,
you should have!

Let me open this.

Um, kel,
you bought me
underpants?

No, no, no. Not just
any underpants.

See, these
are battery-powered
underpants.

Yeah. They keep you
warm and toasty
in the winter.

That was very
thoughtful of you.

Ok. Try them on.

Hey, hey!
I don't think so!

Here. Open this one.
It's from me.

Oh! You got me
a present?

Don't act
all surprised.
Open it.

You got me
the tuba-phone!

A tuba-phone?

Yeah. It's not
just a tuba...

It's a phone!

Kyra, it's your turn
to pick a present.

I can pick
any one I want?

That's the rule.

I pick kel!

Y-your sister
is squeezing me again.

Cheryl: kyra,
you're picking kel
for your present?

You better keep
the receipt.

I had better
hit the road.

Kel, would you like
a lift home?

Yeah. I better be
getting home.

Good night, kel!

Rockmores,
thank you very much
again for having me.

Anytime, chris.
Anytime.

Wait, chris. Here.

Please take
these mashed potatoes
home to your mom.

Thanks. Mother will
gum these right down.

Anyway,
merry christmas,
everybody.

Merry christmas.
Thanks for coming.

Merry
christmas.

We like
mashed potatoes, too--
my family.

Roger:
good night,
kel.

Whoa! Now,
that was fun!

Mm-hmm! Um, kenan?

Hmm?

Kel told us what you did.

I didn't do it!
You can't prove
anything!

See, you don't
know--wait.

What you
talking about?

About you giving up
your mountain bike

To buy presents
for those children.

Oh! Oh,
that was nothing.

Uh-uh. That was
really something.

Son, we know
how much you wanted
that mountain bike.

We're very proud
of you, kenan.

Cheryl: yes, we are.

I figure if I start
saving now,

Then maybe
I'll be able to buy
the bike next year.

Oh, my baby.

All right, everybody.
Let's get to bed.

What?!
At : ?

The sooner
we get to bed,

The sooner
we all can open

The rest of those
presents. Get it?

Yep.

Let's go!

Come on, baby.

The rollblazer
deluxe elite.

The bike of bikes.

Ah, maybe next year.

[Scraping]

Ho ho ho!

[Applause]