03x14 - Norberto y Daggetto en El Grapadura y el Castor Malo/The Loogie Hawk

[bunniefuu]

[ Lively dance music playing]

♪ A-a-a-angry beavers

♪ Beavers.

[ Crowd cheering]

[ Latin dance music playing...]

[ Snickers]

[ Beeping, whirring]

[ Screams...]

[ Screams...]

[ Screaming, cheering]

[ Speaking spanish throughout...]

Three!

[ Crowd cheering]

[ Playing "la cucaracha"]

[ Grunting...]

Hmm...

Hmm.

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hmm...

All: hmm.

Daggetto?

Daggetto?

Hmm...

Hmm.

Hmm...

All: hmm.

Hmm.

Interesante.

[ Drill grinding, screaming]

[ Party horn blowing]

[ Horse whinnying]

[ Chattering]

[ Sci-fi music playing]

El grapadura: hmm...

[ Chuckles]

[ Intercom buzzes]

[ Laughing...]

[ Laughing...]

[ Laughing]

Norbert:

[ Laughing...]

[ Groaning...]

[ Laughing...]

Ah... Ah... [ Sneezes]

[ Growling...]

[ Laughing]

[ Death grunting and growling]

[ Laughing]

Que?

[ Laughing]

[ Retching...]

[ Crowd cheering...]

[ Laughing...]

[ Birds chirping...]

[ Bird cawing]

[ Panting heavily]

Pedal, dagcycle, pedal!

It's, it's the...

Loogie hawk!

[ Screeching]

[ Spits]

Ee...!

[ Hawk hawks phlegm, spits]

Ee-ewsky! That's disgustamundo.

[ Hawk hawks]

Zigzag, dag!

For the love of lex barker's finely muscled head, zigzag!

[ Grunting...]

[ Hawk hawking, spitting]

Stop zigzagging!

[ Hawk hawking, spitting]

I'm getting a sense of inevitability here.

Just get us back to the dam,

A.s.a.p.!

Hey, mr. Showoff, I can spell too: t-o-w.

[ Grunting]

[ Hawk hawking...]

Hang on, norby!

Don't worry, norby.

I'll have you inside in a jiffy.

Let me see, hmm...

No, it's not that one.

It's not this one.

Oh, then there's this one.

[ Chuckles]

Oh, you kid.

Dag?

Yes, hermano?

We never lock the door.

Mmm, good point.

The things one does for his family.

[ Hawk hawking]

[ Spits]

[ Splats]

Yuck.

Guh... Ew...

Ech, ew, ish, ish, icky pooh-pooh.

[ Hawk hawking...]

[ Creaking]

Don't worry, norby, I'll get it!

I'm sure you will.

Now pardon me while I throw a feat

To cover this monstrous piece of exposition.

Can't they arrest you for that?

Every year the loogie hawk terrorizes our forest

As it migrates from the north pole

To the meat lockers of tulsa, oklahoma's industrial west side...

Constantly living in frigid temperatures

Gives this mysterious bird, which no beaver has ever seen

A permanent haydcold.

Haydcold?

It may be part of nature's grand plan

But I am sick of it! Do you hear me?

Yeah, you're shouting in my ear.

Sorry... We have to do something!

You could wear a wet suit or maybe some buckskins.

If it were only that daggett...

Huh?

Simple.

Daggett simple?

This is going to be a dangerous job

One that requires a strong back

And a weak mind, one that requires-- dare I say it?--

You.

It does?

It do.

[ Hawk hawking]

[ Spits]

Okay... You climb the cliff...

Uh-huh...

And capture the loogie hawk...

Ew.

When it comes back to its nest.

I'll direct the as*ault from the safety of my command post...

Deep within the bowels of our dam.

Yeah, okay.

Hey, wait a minute!

Why do I have to go and you get to stay?

Oh, all right.

We'll do it the other way around:

I stay and you go.

Time to stop that wretched bird's reign of terriers.

Terriers?

[ Grunting]

Norb... [ Imitates static] is that you... Way down there?

You look like a... Bug...

Norbert: what are you talking about?

[ Imitates static] I'm in the dam...

Over... Over... Over...

Wha....

Eh? A wittle buggy wuggy.

[ Grunts viciously]

[ Hawk hawking]

Private daggett, ten-hut!

I shouldn't be telling you this

But you're a good soldier and you have a right to now.

If we lose this fight

We'll be in a world of spit.

Think of your dear old mother wearing baloney shoes...

[ Imitates static] and corrective headgear...

Sure she thinks small animals nest in boxes of tapioca pudding

Left under the yum yum tree too long...

But that's the way she was raised, mister!

Rub that on your thighs, mr. Moto, and see how far it'll get you!

[ Hawk hawking...]

[ Norbert cries out]

Mommy!

"Kid safe clim-bing gear."

Hmm, spelled like climbing.

Oh, well, sounds effective.

This is for your baloney shoes, mama!

[ Yelping]

Oy... That was nuts!

[ Hawk hawking]

[ Screeches]

Maybe I should have sent a monkey.

No, no, no, no-- that's not fair to the monkeys.

Hey, that was nutserer!

Norbert: [ imitates static] can you read me, over?

I told you... This isn't over...

This is dag, over...

...now you listen to me... Dag... Listen to me...

Hold on, there, generalissimo norberto.

I need to run up some more antennae.

Ee?

[ Radio static...]

Here, birdie, birdie, birdie, birdie, birdie, birdie, birdie.

Here, birdie, birdie, birdie, birdie, birdie! [ Gasps]

[ Grunting and bellowing]

[ Squish] ee...

[ Screeching]

Hmm, a pile of icky pooh-pooh tissues.

[ Thunk]

Ooh, a large, super large, econo-size jar

Of mentholated chest rub.

[ Yells]

A huge vaporizer such as one might use

To relieve the discomfort of massive congestion.

Drat! If only I could find some evidence that would lead me

To the massively congested loogie hawk... Hmm?

"Loogie hawk right this way."

Oh, wherever can that elusive bird be?

[ Hawk screeches]

Hey, what's in the sack

Loogie-covered brother-o'-mine?

[ Hawks]

I hate you.

Norby...

You should never say hate, norby

Because hate is such a strong word-d-d-d.

Tell me you didn't mean it.

Say it ain't so, bro.

[ Hammering]

There... Finished

Now what?

Now we send him to a place where he'll be accepted.

Where would that be?

To flanders: land of the... [ Hawks]

Flemish.

Ooh, you mean like peggy... [ Hawks]

Fleming?

In the... [ Hawks]

Flesh.

Why don't we just eat it?

[ Panting]

[ Cawing]

[ Screeching]

[ Rumbling...]

Holy moly, daggy-oly!

It appears that the loogie hawk's lung butter

Is the cosmic glue that holds the forest together.

Without it, everything is coming apart.

There's only one thing we can do.

Right! Let's go back to bed.

No! We must restore

Nature'sdelicatebalance.

Get your bike.

We're going to...

Flanders!

[ Panting]

What's with these birds?

Are these more loogie hawks?

Not quite.

They're phlegmingos!

[ All hawking, spitting]

Well, dagadonuts...

I guess we've learned a valuable lesson.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! I know.

Always clip your mittens to your sleeves?

No.

No? [ Imitates static]

No... I said no...

Even though nature is often wondrous and be-atiful...

It's all right, over.

It can also be...

Absolutely disgusting!

I'll say, over.

[ Both imitating static]

The forest is looking very viscous... And beautiful...

Can't... Can't see the forest for the loog.

[ Hawk hawks, spits]

Norbert: wonderful.