01x04 - Episode 4

[bunniefuu]

One and two and step and turn,

And kick and spin.

Ta-da!

Perfect! Nice dancing, lobsters.

Amanda, we need you in makeup.

Oh, sure. Why don't you lobsters run it one more time without me, ok?

You're not a real lobster.

Hello, please.

What are you doing here?

Sir, my name is penelope taint.

I'm amanda's number one fan, please.

I have my own amanda website-- www.amandaplease.com.

Yeah, yeah. You're www dot coming with me!

But I'm amanda's number one fan!

[Chattering]

Boring.

Grrr.

Look at that shine!

Bye-bye.

Ooh!

Ah!

Oh.

Hey!

Lights! Lights!

Mm-hmm.

Howdy, actors!

Gimme!

See ya!

Hammer time!

Ah.

Shabow!

Cool guys!

Love ya, dan!

Camera!

Sound!

Ha ha. Coming!

Hey! Ow! Ow!

[Gasp]

Boingity-boing. Ah! Huh?

[Cheering]look out!

♪ A...

♪ ...manda amanda amanda amanda amanda ♪

♪ Amanda amanda amanda amanda amanda ♪

♪ Amanda amanda amanda amanda amanda ♪

♪ Show

Let's go!

Hey, everyone! Whoo! Ha ha ha!

Hi! My name's amanda and welcome to my show!

All right, now, I want you guys to have a great time and laugh a lot and everything,

So if anybody in the audience has any problems, anything at all that's bothering you,

Let me know, and we'll get it cleared up, ok?

Anyone? Oh! Ha ha ha!

Uh...how about you?

Yeah, amanda, I've always wanted a little sister,

And it bothers me that I don't have one.

Hmm...you want a little sister. That's a tough one.

Oh, I know! Hold on.

[Laughter and applause]

There you go!

Thank you, thank you!

You're welcome. Anybody else with a problem?

Audience: me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!

You!

Yeah, amanda, I got a problem.

I'm thirsty! Can you open up this soda for me?

Uh, sure.

Appreciate it!

Anybody else with a problem?

Audience: me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!

Um...you.

Amanda, I'm having a problem with my lawn mower.

It just won't start.

[Engine sputtering]

Hmm...i'll check it out.

Did you flush the carb?

Yup.

Gap the spark plug?

This morning.

Hmm...did you check to see if there's a banjo stuck inside?

No.

This might be your problem.

[Engine starts]

There you go.thanks!

Sure! Stick around, we'll be back in a second to do stuff!

[Banjo music plays]

Have you kids finished your homework?

Not yet, mom.

Can't we watch tv?

Not until your homework's finished.

I don't want to do homework!

Who does?

Hey, let's call homework hut!

Homework hut! Homework hut!

Yeah!

[Telephone rings]

Homework hut!

Hi, I need one large book report on tom sawyer.

And how would you like that?

Make it a b+!

All right. Anything else with that?

I need a paper on abraham lincoln, words,

And make it an a-.yeah!

No problem. We'll have your homework there in minutes or less.

All right!all right!

Here's your homework.

Thanks, homework hut guy!

All right!all right!

Mother: kids?

Did you get your homework done?

We sure did.

[Goofy laugh]

Announcer: homework hut-- minutes or less or your next "a" is free.

All right!all right!

♪ Amanda amanda amanda amanda amanda ♪

♪ Amanda amanda amanda amanda amanda show ♪

Announcer: it's time for a hillbilly moment.

[Goofy laughing]

Knock-knock!

Huh-huh! Who's there?

Fish.fish who?

I'm going to hit you in the head with a fish!

Ha ha! Huh?

Ha ha ha! That's a good one!

Yup.

Ja, ok, velcome to our video store. How am I to be helping you?

I want to see the manager right now.

Papa! This lady, she screams for you.

Ja, ok! I am yokke blocky.

How may I be of servicing you?

Yes, I rented these movies here yesterday, and I am very upset.

This isn't star wars: the phantom menaceat all.

No, no, no. Yesterday, you did not ask for phantom menace,

You asked for vantom menace.

Vantom?well, just look at this movie. Play it!

Ja, ja.

I am upset with you.

Now, because of dis,

I must ha-whack you vith my saber of light.

But the force, she is vith me.

If you ha-whack me,

I will ha-whack you back with my saber of light.

Ow.

Ow.

Ow.

Ow.

That's not the real movie.

Yes, is better. This was my son biscotti

And my daughter blinni.

Is true!thank you.

If you wish for having my autograph,

I will sign my face for you.

I don't want your signed face. I just want the movie I asked for.

But this is better!

Much better!much better!

Better? No, it's just some lame video that you sh*t at your house.

Oh, just like this movie, too. This is not the wizard of oz.

No, no, no, you asked for the wizard of voz.

Voz?

Yes, this is better.

Much better!much better!

Oh, yeah? Just look at it.

Ja, ja.

Dorothy, if I only had a brain,

I would have a brain.

But now the wizard of voz has give me brain.

Toto, too.

Auntie em! Auntie em!

I am over the rainbow.

There is no place like my home. There is no place like my home.

What was that garbage?

The children, they love for this movie.

I was very good, yes?

No! That wasn't the wizard of oz.

That was just you and your brother in bad costumes.

Is true!thank you.

How will you be paying, with cash or charge?

I'll pay you nothing!

Oh... Oh... Oh...

In fact, I'm going to report this store to blockbuster headquarters.

No, no, no. We are not blockbuster.

We are blockblister.

Blockblister?

Yes! Is better.

Much better!much better!

You people, you make renting videos unpleasant.

Unpleasant!

Tell you friends!

Be coming back again soon!

Have a day!

Ja, ja, velcome to our video store. How am I to be helping you?

I rented austin powers, and you people gave me this.

Ja, ja.

Oh, behave. Ja, baby.

Grr. I am the austin powders.

Fragadelic.

Oh, behave.

That's not austin powers.

Yes, this movie is better.

Much better!much better!

No, it's worse! That was just you in some lousy homemade video.

Is true.thank you.

How you will be paying me, cash or charge?

I'll pay you with this!

Oh... Oh... Oh...

This lady, she spits upon us.

Do not worry. In america, this must mean

That they are loving your fine acting.

Ah!ah!

Let us watch more of you.

Ja, ja.

Ja, baby. Very shagadelic.

I am the austin powders. Oh, behave.

This is better!

Much better!much better!

[Applause]

Woman: yeah! Moving on, moving on. Here we go, guys.

[Humming]

Huh?

Mom! Billy left his rubber ducky in the bathtub!

Mother: billy!

Billy: sorry, amanda!

♪ Da-da-da, scrubbing foot, da-da-da ♪

Huh?

Mom, billy left a toy motorboat in the bathtub!

Mother: billy!

Billy: sorry, amanda!

♪ Da-da-da-da-da

Grr!

Mom! Billy left a large pizza in the bathtub!

Mother: billy!

Billy: it's sausage!

It smells like pepperoni.

Mother: billy!

Billy: sorry, amanda!

♪ Da-da-da-da-da, wash the neck ♪

♪ Da-da-da-da-da

Ow!

Mom! Billy left his bicycle in the bathtub!

Mother: billy!

Billy: sorry, amanda!

♪ Da-da-da, scrubbing the foot, da-da-da ♪

Huh?

Mom! Billy left woofer in the bathtub!

Mother: billy!

Billy: sorry, amanda!

Arf!

Go!

Billy: hey, has anybody seen my -foot great white shark?

Shark!?

Billy!

Oh, just hug me!

Ok!

Announcer: this is a special halloween edition of judge trudy.

When you have a beef, don't take the law into your own hands,

Put your beef in the hands of judge trudy. Ok.

Get up!

Good evening, I am judge trudy.

Now, I understand we have a halloween-related complaint here.

Oh, yeah, I got a big complaint.

Let's hear it.

Ok. Tonight I was trick-or-treating,

And what do I get?

This!

[Gasps]

And what kind of diseased person gave you that apple?

Mrs. Shane. That lady right over there.

[Booing]

Did I say it was all right to throw garbage at mrs. Shane?

Now, no one will throw garbage at anyone unless I say so!

Understood? Good.

You may now throw garbage at mrs. Shane.

Judge trudy! Can you tell me exactly why

I'm being pelted with garbage?

Did you or did you not give this poor, defenseless child

An apple as a halloween treat?

Well, yes, I did.

All right, then that leaves me this question:

What's the matter with you, woman?

Look, i--

[Gavel bangs]

The question was rhetorical.

Now, listen, on halloween, kids want candy,

Not your nasty freakish fruits!

Yeah!

But fruit is more healthful than candy.

Oh, yeah? Then why didn't you just give the girl

A load of broccoli, for crying out loud?

Look, judge trudy, I do not know what's going on here, but--

You know, I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah-blah-blah!

Yeah! Blah-blah-blah-blah!

Look, I deserve to win this case!

Really? Well, here's a little joke I wrote for you. Knock-knock.

Who's there?

You lose! I find in favor of the plaintiff,

Shelly barnes, in the amount of $. Million.

I don't have that kind of money!

Well, then I'll have to confiscate your dress.

What?!

Next case!

Announcer: our next litigants are entering the courtroom.

See the pants that guy's wearing? I have those same pants.

Young man, please tell the court why you're here.

Well, I was trick-or-treating at this dude's house,

And he yelled at me and my friends. It was upsetting.

Why did you shout at this boy?

I had good reason, your honor.

That delinquent and his nasty little friends

Threw eggs at my house, lots of eggs.

Everywhere was goo!

Is this true?

Yeah, I egged the dude's house.

You see? You hear that? The little hooligan admitted it.

So?

So?

Did it ever occur to you

That this boy might have had a reason for egging your house?

Yeah, he might have had a reason.

Reason? What possible reason could a young--

Sir, do you like omelettes?what?

Omelettes! Do you like omelettes?

Yes, I enjoy the occasional omelette.

So maybe this young man was simply trying to make you an omelette

And deliver it to your house.

Yeah, omelette!

But there was no ham, no cheese!

Maybe you would have got some if you hadn't yelled at this kid!

You rock, trudy!

Look, I know the score. He egged my house

Because it's halloween.

I'll hallow your ween!

Now, you listen--no!

Listen!no!

Listen!no!

Listen to this poem.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

You lose! I find in favor of the plaintiff.

Bailiff, put this man over your shoulder and spin him until he's very uncomfortable.

Yes, your honor.

Goodness gracious! Oh, I'm being spun around!

Court dismissed! Bring in the dancing lobsters.

[Applause]

Announcer: it's time for a hillbilly moment.

[Goofy laughing]

Knock-knock!

Huh-huh! Who's there?

Cucumber.cucumber who?

I'm going to hit you in the head with a cucumber!

Ha ha! Huh?

Ha ha ha! That's a good one!

Yup.

So what were you trying to do, anyway?

I want to meet amanda. I'm her number one fan, please.

I have my own amanda website, you know.

Oh, yeah?

Yes. I could show it to you

If these handcuffs were unlocked, please.

Oh, all right.

All right. Www.amandaplease.com.

Here's the homepage, which changes every week, you know.

Here's a new feature. Click here to test your amanda i.q.

With tricky trivia like what are the names of amanda's dogs?

I know. Now, click here,

And you'll see photos from my amanda scrapbook.

Here you see amanda right after she sucked a lemon.

Note the pucker.

Click, please. Back to the homepage,

Where you'll see tons of other amanda clickables to click upon.

This website is impressive.

Hey, what's the deal?

I'm sorry, sir, but I must escape and meet amanda, please.

Fare thee well.

Agitator!

Announcer: from his garage, it's totally kyle!

Um, one time, I found this rock,

Like, in my driveway.

So I picked it up, and I took it to my room,

And I set it on the table by my bed,

And, like, the next morning, my dad came in

And said, like, "kyle."

So I said, you know, "what?"

And he goes, "what's that rock doing on the table by your bed?"

So I said, like, "I don't know, dude."

And then I went back to sleep.

Announcer: that was totally kyle!

Totally!

[Applause]

Marcy, thanks for inviting me to this party.

Oh, when do we get to go swimming?

Dad, can we go swimming yet?

No, honey, not until our new neighbors get here.

Well, where are the literals?

[Doorbell rings]

Ah, that must be the literals now.

Hi!we're the literals!

Hey, there! I'm leslie.

Come on in! Leslie, why don't you

Hop in there with the girls and enjoy yourself.

Ok.

Hey, there. I'm leslie.

Hey, what's up?

Oh, just a beautiful, beautiful ceiling.

So it's nice to meet you, lenny. Put her there.

All right.

She's there, now what?

Ha ha ha! You're a jokester.

No, actually, I'm an architect.

Ha ha! Yeah.

Could I get you two some iced tea?

I'd love some.

Coming right up.

Lisa, hold this for a second.

All right. One, mississippi.

That's ok, I'll clean that up. Don't lift a finger.

Mmm, this is really good.

Hey, I want some punch.

All right.

Marcy? Punch for you?

No, I'm good, I'm good.

Hey, you guys! Guess who asked me out to the school dance.

Who?tell us!

Well, he's on the football team.

Who is it? Tell us!

Yeah, spit it out.

[Spits]

It was timmy bishop.

Timmy bishop?

Get out.

Oh. All right.

Oh, wait. Where are you going?

I'm getting out.

She didn't mean you should go.

Yeah. Give me a break.

All right.

[Bone cracks]

Ow!

You're welcome.

I can't believe timmy bishop asked you out.

I can't believe you broke my finger.

Timmy bishop is so hot.

Really?

I've never felt him.

Oh, I just feel terrible about breaking your glass.

Yeah. Let me give you some money for it.

No! No. Bite your tongue.

All right.

Hey, hey, hey! Cut it out!

All right. Here, honey, give me your tongue.

Hey, you two, stop it.

Get ahold of yourselves.

All right.all right.

Nice vase.

So timmy bishop not only asked me to the dance,

He asked me to be his girlfriend.

Oh, you are so lying.

Yeah. Knock it off.

All right.

Hey, your vase broke.

You can say that again.

Hey, your vase broke.

You know, I think I'm gonna leave.

I'll walk you out.

I'll be right back. You just chill.

Chill. All right.

Hey, the vase broke. I better clean that up.

Would you all give me a hand?

Ha ha! You literals k*ll me.

All right.

Oh, thank you! Woo!

All right, you guys have been a great audience.

So the lobsters and I have worked out a little something special for you guys.

Lobsters!

♪ , , ,

Take it, lobsters.

Where's amanda, please?

There she is. Impersonating a lobster.

[Lobsters chattering]

Well, I guess that's it.

Thanks for checking out the show.

I got to go and rotate my tires!

See ya!

Amanda, wait! Amanda!

Get her! Get her!

Amanda, please.