01x07 - Episode 7

[bunniefuu]

Man: ok, coming up, it's the amanda trivia contest.

If you're the ninth caller with the correct answer to our question,

You win dinner with amanda!

Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

Man: so stay close to your telephone and good luck.

Luck? I don't need no luck!

I'm ready, please.

Boring. Grrrr.

Honey, this is great coffee!

Buh-bye.

Whoa!

Whoooooooooooo!

Blblblblblblbl.

Hey! Oh!

Like--like-- nick--nick--nick--nick.

Shabow!

Mm-hmm.

Howdy, actors.

Gimme.

See ya.

Hammer time.

Ahhhh.

Shabow!

Cool guys.

Love ya, dan.

Camera! Sound!

[Giggles]

Comin'.

Hey! Ow-ooh-ow!

[Gasps]

Boinkety-boink-ahhh. Huh?

Look out! Oooh!

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Show

Let's go!

[Cheering and applause]

Thank you. Thank you.

My name's amanda and I'm yours for the next half hour.

All right, we have an unbelievable show for you guys tonight--

[Screaming]

[Thump]

What's going on in the audience?

[Screaming]

[Thump]

Oh, hey, amanda.

Am I interrupting the show?

Uh, kinda.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You see, I've been taking these karate lessons,

But I cannot seem to break this board.

Ah, I see.

Hey! Hey!

You're a black belt in karate, aren't you?

Well, why yes, I am.

Well, you think maybe you could give me some pointers?

Well, it's--

[Cheering and applause]

Come on down.

Oh, great! Wow! Oh, my!

Big fan. Why, thank you.

Thank you. Why don't you show me your punch.

Well, oh, ok.

[Screaming]

Well, not bad, but you need to rotate your shoulder

And keep your wrist straight.

Uh, you think maybe you could show me, or...

Oh, sure. Kee-ya!

Oh!

Wow! Th-that was great!

Why, thanks. Why don't you show me.

You sure? Yeah. Show me what you got.

Ok.

[Screaming]

Come on. My grandmother can hit harder than that.

You really gotta get your weight into it like this--kee-ya!

Oh!

Ah! Ah! I see. I see.

Hey. Would you mind showing me one of those spinning back kicks?

Oh, sure.

Oh!

Oh, wonderful.

My jaw is broken.

It just takes practice.

Seriously. It's throbbing.

Thanks. Thanks for the b*ating, amanda.

Sure, anytime.

So, does anybody else want to learn some karate moves?

All: no-o-o-o-o-o!

Ok, well fasten your seat belts. It's gonna be a funny night.

I'll be back in a second!

Kids! What do you want for breakfast?

Cereal! Meat loaf!

Cereal. Meat loaf.

Can't you kids ever agree?

Whoop-dee-dee, have a bowl of me.

Huh? Huh?

Who are you?

I'm loaf, and I'm here to tell ya

About my fantastic new cereal,

Meatloaf crunch.

Meatloaf crunch? Yeah!meatloaf crunch? Yeah!

♪ Meatloaf, meatloaf

♪ It's all new meatloaf crunch

♪ Meatloaf, meatloaf

Wow! It's turning the milk chocolatey!

That ain't chocolate. That's gravy!

Don't forget about the prize inside!

Yeah!

I got lotion!

I got a mouse trap!

Hey! Give me some meatloaf crunch.

Whoop-dee-dee,

Have a bowl of me!

Hey! Who's that?

Hi, dad. Meet loaf.

[Laughter]

You guys.

♪ Meatloaf, meatloaf

♪ It's all new meatloaf crunch

♪ Meatloaf, meatloaf

♪ It's all new meatloaf crunch

♪ Meatloaf, meatloaf...

Whoop-dee-dee, have a bowl of me!

All: yeah!

Oooh!

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Show

Announcer: this is the courtroom of judge trudy.

When you've got a beef,

Don't take the law into your own hands.

Put your beef in the hands of judge trudy. Ok.

Rise up.

Sit, sit, sit.

Hello, I am judge trudy.

Now, jason fima. I understand you have

A complaint against your parents.

Sure do, judge trudy.

His complaint is ridiculous!

Did I tell you it was your turn to speak

Mr. I-can't-keep- my-mouth-shut?

Uh, no.

Then close your yapper flapper!

Yapper flapper. Hee hee hee hee.

That's good. Thank you.

Now jason. Please tell me your complaint.

Well, I really wanted to visit doozy land,

The world's greatest amusement park.

Yes, I'm a big fan of doozy land myself. Continue.

Well, it's pretty expensive, so I had to get some money.

He sold our house!

To circus people!

Quiet, mr. Yapperham lincoln!

But your honor--

Sir, do you have a severe case of yapitis?

No.then shut your tongue-holder!

What's wrong with you?

Judge trudy, I had to sell our house.

It's the only way I could get enough money to go to doozy land.

That makes perfect sense.

He took of his friends in a limo...!

...sine!

What? Did you want me to go alone?

Listen young man. When I get you home--

Silence! Now jason, what did your parents do to you

For simply trying to have some fun?

They cut my allowance from $ a week to .

[Booing]

Wait! Wait! I was just trying to save enough money

To get another house.

It's been raining!

Your dampness is irrelevant!

Mr. And mrs. Fima, I hereby sentence you

To a cage match with two professional wrestlers.

[Bell clangs]

Arrrrrrrrrrghhhhh!

Ohhhhhhhhhh!

Judge trudy! I have a very--

Bring in the next case.

Announcer: the litigants for our next case are entering the courtroom.

I wonder if they have any gum.

Amy drummel, I understand you have a complaint against your mother.

You bet I do. She keeps sending me to my room!

[Booing]

And why did your mother send you to your room?

Because I refused to kiss my aunt sophie.

Where is this so-called aunt sophie?

Uh, i--i'm aunt sophie.

Hey--hey--hey--hey--hey!

Don't throw garbage at aunt sophie.

She didn't send this girl to her room--her mother did.

Throw garbage at her.

Ah! I'm being pummeled with debris!

I did nothing wrong. I should win this case.

Mrs. Drummel, approach the bench.

Come closer.

Closer.

Little closer.

Guess what. What?

You lose!

Hee hee hee hee hee.

It was a trick.i know it.

Now go back to your thing.

But-- go! But-- go!

But-- I'll tell you where your butt's gonna go.

I hereby sentence you to one week locked up

In a box with two contagious sick people.

[Both coughing]

Ah-choo!ah-choo!

Could I please have some tissues or something?

Court dismissed. Bring in the dancing lobsters.

[Music plays]

These are the adventures of amanda in space.

♪ Da da-da da da flyin' the spaceship.

Ahhh! Holy moly, what was that?

Space station to amanda. You are under att*ck.

Who att*cked me?

It looks like a giant watermelon.

Giant watermelon?!

Lasers locked on watermelon!

Lasers locked.

Fire lasers!

Watermelon destroyed.

Yep. Cruisin' through space...

Oh, man, now what?

Space station to amanda. You've been att*cked by a giant bra.

Giant bra?! Lasers locked on bra!

Lasers locked.

Fire lasers!

Bra destroyed. Yep.

♪ Da da da da, zoomin' through space ♪

♪ Da da da da--

Huh? Gee whiz, now what?!

Space station to amanda.

You have been att*cked by a giant toilet.

Giant toilet? Grrrrrrrr.

Lasers locked on toilet.

Lasers locked.

Fire lasers!

Toilet destroyed. Yep.

♪ Da da da da da, I like space, la la ♪

Sweet mother, what was that?!

Space station to amanda.

You have been att*cked by a regular cheeseburger.

A regular cheeseburger?!

That cheeseburger must be destroyed!

Lock lasers on target?

Negative. Beaming cheeseburger aboard this ship.

Energizing!

Cheeseburger destroyed.

Yep. [Belches]

Tune in again for the continuing adventures of...

Amanda in space!

[Amanda belches]

Hey, there. Welcome to...

All: the girls room!

Ok, I'm amber, and I'm extremely popular.

I'm sheila, so back up.

My name's terry, I'm an exchange student from tennessee.

Your turn.oh, sorry.

I'll have a cheeseburger, fries, and a large root beer.

We're doing the show. Earth to debbie.

Hi, earth.

Ok, today in the girl's room we're gonna talk all about

My campaign for president of our school,

Kawayga junior high!

[All cheering]

My daddy has a car.

You better check the date on your brain

'Cause I think it expired.

Thanks.

Moving on, ok, let's go over my campaign checklist.

Ok, let's see. Buttons?

Buttons.

Posters.

Posters.

Candy.

Hammers!

Hammers?you bought hammers?

Uh, debbie, you were supposed to get candy.

But hammers are so cute, and look,

I put a campaign slogan on the back to help you get elected.

"Happy hanukkah"?

Happy hanukkah!

Debbie, as a child, were you dropped on your head?

Sure, lots of times.

There you go. Figures.

Hey, caroline. Welcome to...

All: the girl's room!

So, have you decided who you're voting for for president?

Well...

Hammer?

So you're voting for amber, right?

I really haven't decided who I'm voting for.

All: ooooooooooooh.

Sheila, see if you can help this girl make up her mind.

In my office.oh, no, I just--

[Flush]

Ok! Ok! Ok!

Voting for you, amber.

Thanks, caroline. See you in study hall.

Ok, now it's time to review why you should vote for me

And not my far less popular opponent, danielle spencer.

Tammy?

As an exchange student from tennessee,

I think danielle spencer is both unqualified and unattractive.

I like eggs!

Anyways, that danielle spencer, she is so nasty...

Hello.

All: hello, danielle spencer.

Don't forget to vote for amber for president.

Why would I vote for amber

When I'm running for president?

Happy hanukkah!

You really don't think you're gonna b*at me,

Do you, danielle spencer?

You better quit worrying about me, amber.

I just found out there's some new kid in school

Who's running for president, too.

Who?!

Jamie bradford.

Sheila, go find this jamie bradford and bring her into the girl's room.

Nothin' to it but to do it.

How dare some new girl run against me.

Or me.

You know, she has like no chance. Zero.

My mom uses a special ointment.

I found jamie bradford.

Bring her in. Ok.

Here's jamie bradford.

Emergency conference!

Oh, my gosh.oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my hammers.

[All screaming]

Um, like danielle spencer and I have decided

To drop out of the race and give our support to...

All: jamie bradford!

Ok, that's all the time we have for the girl's room.

Remember. I'm popular...

I'm bad.

I'm from tennessee.

Happy hanukkah!

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Show

Ok, coming up soon, it's the big amanda trivia question.

Be caller number with the correct answer

And you'll win dinner with amanda!

[Beep]

Hello, operator, please.

Operator.

Hello, I'm penelope taynt,

I'm amanda's number one fan, please,

I'm calling to make sure all of my telephone lines

Are working correctly, please.

They're working fine.

Excellent. You know, I have my own amanda website--

Www.amandaplease.com.

I'll show it to you. View my laptop.

I can't see your laptop. We're on the phone.

Quiet! View my website.

Here, you see the homepage, please.

This week there's an exclusive interview

With amanda's sweet mother.

I will now click upon it.

See on the left? That's amanda's mother's head.

She'll tell you things about her excellent daughter, amanda.

Now I will click upon the amanda video clip of the week.

Watch as amanda names a tree.

You are now named herman.

I grant you the name herman the tree.

Herman the tree is your name.

Herman-- that's your name.

Tree--named herman.

Your name is herman.

Penelope: that was strange but I enjoyed it.

Back to my home page where you can find many excellent amanda games.

So, isn't my amanda website excellent?

It sounds great.

You know, one time I was surfing the web

And I found this really interesting--

You're wasting my life.

From his garage, it's totally kyle!

One time I met this girl,

And i, like, really, really liked her.

So I asked her to go out with me,

And she was all, "no."

So I figured she didn't, like, hear me,

So I asked her again,

And she was all..."No."

So i, like, asked her, like, one more time,

And she said, like..."No."

Announcer: that was totally kyle!

Totally.

Hello, welcome to souper dooper.

Would you like to try one of our special soups?

Uh, didn't this used to be an ice cream shop?

Yep! We changed it.

Now we sell soups.

We realized that ice cream wasn't really our thing.

We're soup people.we're soup people.

Ok, um, I love soup. What kind do you have?

Well, our special today is foot fungus chowder.

Foot fungus?

Made fresh!

I just scraped dad's feet this mornin'.

Gross! Uh, what other soups do you have?

Well, we have toilet chowder.

Tomato garbage, and noodles and poodles.

Noodles and poodles?

All righty.

[Whimpers]

Make her some. Ok.

No--no--no--no! Give me that animal.

Gross! Ewww!

Daddy, she took our poodle.

Awwwww, chin up, honey.

She probably just wants to go home and make some herself.

Ok, daddy.

Hello, welcome to souper dooper.

Would you like to try a free sample today?

Sure. I love free soup.

Ok.

Here you go.

Hmm. This tastes odd.

What the--

There's underpants in here!

Of course. That's underwear chowder.

Those were mine.

Aren't they cute?

No, they're disturbing!

Don't you people have any regular soup?

You know, without underwear?

Sure. We have all kinds of soup.

We're soup people.we're soup people.

What flavor would you like?

Uh, I don't know. Do you have pea soup?

Sure. One pea soup coming right up.

Here you go.

Ok...ooh! Smells kind of odd, though familiar.

What's in this pea soup?

Well, let's just say I made it myself.

[Shrieks]

Did you see that, daddy?

Yes. She must be late for an appointment.

Hello, welcome to souper dooper.

Have you come for a refill?

No, I've come for an explanation.

You sold my wife this "soup".

What seems to be the problem?

Look at it.

Yes?

It's filled with hair. Hair?!

Well, what else would you expect to find in back hair soup?

Grandfather makes it fresh himself.

Hey...w-we gonna make more soup?

Not now, grandpa!

I know where you live.

[Razor buzzes]

This is ridiculous. I don't want elderly hair in my soup.

Well, then, would you like to try another soup for free?

No, I don't-- free? Well, sure.

Ok, I think you're gonna love this.

Here you go.

It's good. Mmmmmmmm.

Mmm. That is good. What do you call it?

Lincoln punch.

Why do you call it lincoln punch?

Another satisfied customer.

We've done it again, honey.

We're soup people.we're soup people.

Thank you. You guys liking the show?

[Cheering]

Radio: and now, the amanda trivia contest.

Remember, you can win dinner with amanda.

Just be the ninth caller with the correct answer to this question:

Hit me, baby.

What is amanda's favorite food?

Ah! This is too easy! It's quesadillas, please.

Be caller number and you win dinner with amanda.

[Ringing]

Sorry. You're caller number....

Grrrr. Must meet amanda.

[Ringing]

Sorry. You're caller number....

Oh! Clear the lines. It's quesadillas, please.

I must win this!

[Ringing]

Congratulations! You're caller number !

It's quesadillas, please!

Quesadillas! Yes! Correct!

Of course I am. I have waited my whole life for this moment.

When do I dine with amanda?

Oh, hang on there. First hang up your phone

And we'll call you right back and put you on the air.

Hurry, please.

I won! I won! I won!

Looks like we have a winner.

It is me, of course.

Ok, we're gonna get our winner on the line right now

And put her on the air.

[Ringing]

Hello, it is i, the winner, please.

[Ringing]

Hello?[Ringing]

Hello? Hello? Hello?

I'm the winner. Hello, please. Hello?

[Ringing]

Hello? Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?

Ok, that's our show. You guys have been a great audience.

I gotta go home and rearrange my dog.

See ya!

Hello? Hello, please. Please.

Hello. I'm the winner. Hello?

Oh, well, it looks like we can't reach our ninth caller,

So, uh, let's go on to the tenth caller!

No-o-o-o-o! I'm the winner! It's quesadillas.

Why do it? Hello? Hello?

Ahhhhh, please.

Amanda, please.