02x04 - Episode 4

[bunniefuu]

No way!

I swear.

So what did he say?

He goes, "fine. I don't care.

I'm just not gonna ask her out anymore."

So I'm all, lucky her.

Whatever.

I know.

Hey, amanda, don't you have to get dressed for the show?

Oh, yeah, I'd better get changed.

Ooh, um--amanda.

Drake, drake, wake up.

[Mumbling]

I've gotta get dressed. Get out.

Uh-- what's his deal?

I think he's dreaming.

I wonder what he's dreaming about.

[Audience shouting] drake! Drake! Drake...

Thanks! Thank you! Whoo!

My name's drake, and I'm the most important boy in the world!

Aaahhh!

Drake! Drake!

Yes! Welcome to my show!

Drake, wake up.

What?

What were you dreaming about?

Nothin'.

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Manda-manda- manda-manda-manda show ♪

[Audience cheering]

Thank you!

My name is amanda,

And my dad's a dentist!

Audience: boo!

Um--wait.

My dad's not really a dentist.

He's a--he's a guy who gives free ice cream to people!

[Cheers]

Thank you.

Ok, you guys are about to see an awesome show.

We're gonna do this really funny sketch

Where I play a doctor, right.

Well, this patient comes in. He's unconscious.

And so um-- I call the nurse in--

Hi. Uh--is something wrong?

Yeah, um--amanda, we're not gonna be able

To do the doctor sketch tonight.

Audience: aw!

Why not?

The unconscious guy didn't show up.

Oh, man.

Oh, wait, if I can find an unconscious guy,

Can we still do the sketch?

Uh--sure.

Be right back.

[Audience cheering]

Oh, stop.

You need some help?

Yeah, we're doing a tv show

And we need somebody to play the part of an unconscious man.

Have you ever done any acting?

A little in college.

Cool! Would you mind making yourself unconscious?

I'd be happy to.

[Audience cheers]

I got one!

Yeah. Amanda, the unconscious guy showed up.

Oh, man. What do I do with this unconscious guy?

Oh. I don't know.

I'll take him!

All right. Yeah.

Ok, well uh--stick around.

I'll be back in a second to do stuff. Whoo!

Oh, well.

Bye-bye fun.

We just need the boost.

It's too high!

Not for the boost.

What boost?

Theboost!

I'll show you.

[Phone ringing]

Someone need a boost?

No prob.

Wow! Thanks, the boost!

Don't thank me. It's my job.

[Phone rings]

Uh-oh. Trouble. Ciao.

[Car screeching]

Our day is ruined!

[Car screeching]

Someone need a boost?

I love you, the boost.

Don't love me. It's my job.

When you need a boost, get theboost.

Comes with cool-looking beeper

And hour access to a tall man with a car.

You rock, boost!

I don't rock. It's my job.

[Phone rings]

The next time you need a boost,

Call the boost!

I lift people.

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Manda-manda- manda-manda-manda show ♪

Hi, and welcome to cheklutz.

We're the klutzes.

Hi.

I'll have my son carter show you to a table. Oh, carter!

Here I come, mother.

Not a problem.

Carter, will you show this couple to a table, please?

Sure, mom.

Hello. Welcome to cheklutz.

Hah! What a pretty dress.

Thanks. We're going to the prom.

Oh.

May I sniff your corsage?

Oh, I'd like that.

My dress!

Not a problem.

Could we please see a menu?

Okee-doke.

Oh, not a problem.

Oh. Not a problem.

Can I please just get a glass of water?

Sure. Water!

Coming up.

Um--

Hey! You're watering my lap!

Oh!

Not a problem.

I beg to differ!

Miss, miss.

Yes?

We can't read the specials from here.

Oh, I'll get the board for you.

Not a problem.

Hey. Can we get our food?

We're sailors.

Oh. Uh--

Oh, here comes your food right now.

Ok, who ordered the pasta?

And who had the caesar salad?

Ok. Anything else?

You--you've ruined everything!

At least we're still sailors.

Thank you, richard.

Say, where's our sparkling cider?

Oh, it's on its way. Carter!

Sparkling cider coming up.

Wow, this cork's in there tight.

Ow!

Richard!

Hey, the cork landed up there.

I'll get it.

No, I can get it.

You know, I don't mind getting it.

Katy: oh, I see it! It's up there!

Not a problem!

Excuse me. It's awfully hot in here.

Yes, we sailors are also hot.

Would you please turn on th ceiling fan?

Oh, sure. Excuse me.

Oh, I think I see the switch right here.

Whoa...!

Carter, I think you'd better slow it down.

Ok, I'll use the remote control.

I'll help. I'm a sailor.

Richard!

Hang on, katy!

Hold on, dear!

Not a problem!

And clear! Very nice, everybody.

Great scene, great scene.

Yo, yo, yo. It's...

Hi! Welcome to my jacuzzi.

Today my special guest is

Frankenstein.

[Grunts]

So, are you the one and only actual frankenstein?

[Grunt]

And is it true that you're a monster

Made up from the body parts of different people?

[Grunt]

I see.

Now, is it also true that you were

The very first woman to ever wear a brassiere?

Oh, well-- how about a plate of spaghetti?

All right.

That was amanda's jacuzzi.

Yo, yo, yo.

Bye-bye!

It's time for a hillbilly moment!

Ha ha!

Howdy! My name's lula mae.

I'm enis.

And I tell knock-knock jokes.

Who's there?

I ain't tellin' no knock-knock joke right now.

Aw, you never met my dentist.

Usually, I tell jokes to him.

She hits me with stuff, in my head.

This time, I thought I'd be funny

If we go outside and tell our knock-knock jokes to other folks.

Can I come?

Come on!

Hey, hey. Knock-knock.

Uh--who's there?

Loaf of bread.

Loaf of bread who?

I'm gonna hit you in the head with a loaf of bread.

Pardon?

That's a good one.

Let's do another one.

Ok.

Hey, hey! Knock-knock.

Oh--who's there?

Galosh.

Galosh who?

I'm gonna hit you in the head with a galosh.

Excuse me.

Yep.that was a good one!

Let's do another one!

Come on!

Enis!

Hey, hey! Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Little fish.

Little fish who?

I'm gonna hit you in the head with a little fish.

Huh?

Uh-oh.

Uh--knock-knock.

Who's there?

Bigger fish.

Bigger fish who?

I'm gonna hit you in the head with a bigger fish.

Now wait a minute.

Whoo! Ha ha!

Hey, man! That was a good one.

Let's do another one.come on!

Hey, hey! Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Megaphone.

Megaphone who?

I'm gonna hit you in the head with a megaphone!

I don't know if I unders--

Oh! That was a good one!

Yup!

Let's go home.

Ok.

That was fun!

I like telling jokes to other people.

Yup.

Now what'll we do?

Uh--knock-knock.

Who's there?

Uh--bottle of water.

Bottle of water who?

I'm gonna hit you in the head with a bottle of water.

Huh?

Enis!

Ha ha, that's good.

Yup.

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Manda-manda- manda-manda-manda show ♪

Hello, girls!

Do you work here on the amanda show?

No, we came to see the show.

We just went to the rest room.

Don't care. Where's amanda?

She's probably getting ready for her next scene.

And who are you, please?

I'm daphne.

Daphne is amanda's number one fan.

[Dramatic music]what did you say?

I'm amanda's number one fan.

Ha ha! Please.

It is too laugh.

What?

Listen up, wannabe.

You happen to be looking at amanda's number one fan, please.

Oh, you think so.

I don't think, I know.

I've seen every show amanda's ever been in, please.

I'm the president of amanda's fan club.

Well, I have my very own

Award-winning amanda web site,

Www.amandaplease.com.

I own a lock of amanda's hair.

Well, I have amanda's tonsils!

What's amanda's middle name?

Laura. What's amanda's birthday?

April . What's amanda's iq?

. What's amanda's blood type?

B positive. What's amanda's favorite food?

Ravioli.

Stuffed with?meat, please.

How many pairs of pants does amanda own?

Excuse me, girls.

Back off!

All righty.

How many pairs of pants does amanda own?

. Six capris, cargo, peddle pushers, carmidor,

And clam diggers. Have you had enough?

I haven't even started, please.

Settle down, children. Settle--uh--no throwing paper, please.

Hey, what class is this?

Oh, we got a substitute teacher.

Who?

Mr. Gullible.

Yeah. And we thought it might be a good time for a...

Fire drill!

[Alarm goes off]

All right, children, this is a fire drill.

So I want each and every one of you

To calmly and carefully form a double bilateral--

Say now, you kids just trampled me.

Oh, no. You see, you were just dreaming that.

Really?

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Oh! Well then, I'm not angry with any of you.

Mr. Gullible?

Yes?

To protect us from the flames our regular teacher

Always slams his head in the locker

And screams "macaroni salad! Macaroni salad!"

Really?

Yes.

Salad, macaroni.

Well, I don't see the direct benefit,

But if that's the way your regular teacher does it,

I suppose I should, too.

Macaroni salad!

Macaroni salad!

Like that?

Harder.

Lots harder. Harder?

Well, if it's for the safety of the children.

Macaroni salad!

[Bang!]

Macaroni salad!

[Bang!]

Macaroni sally!

[Bang!]

Mickey rooney salami.

I'm having trouble remembering my name.

Well, mr. Gullible...

That's it.

Well, at this point, our regular teacher

Always gets the fire extinguisher.

That's a good idea.

Hmm.

In case of emergency, break glass.

Well, our regular teacher always breaks the glass with his head.

With his head?

Oh, yeah.always does that.

Well, if that's the way your regular teacher does it.

Oh. Don't forget to wiggle your butt first.

All right.

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.

I got the fire extinguisher.

Hey, glass tastes like blood.

Mr. Gullible? Yes?

Our regular teacher usually demonstrates

How dangerous fire can be.

How?

Well, he usually scampers about

Pretending to be the fire.

But that seems silly.

Well, that's what he does, you know, scampers about.

Ok.

Here I go!

Look! I'm fire!

I'm dangerous! Stay away from me!

I could burn you!

Oh! Fire!

What does your regular teacher do now?

Well, he usually screams "put me out, put me out!"

Really?

Yeah, put me out.

Ok. Put me out! Put me out!

Put me out! Put me out!...

I'm uncomfortable.

What does that mean?

It's another fire drill.

Fire drill! Quick, trample me!

Thank you.

All right. Thank you.

Now we have a few minutes left.

So is there anything else you guys wanna see?

Yeah. Amanda, we wanna see how long you can hold your breath.

All right.

What's amanda's least favorite fruit?

The mango. What's amanda's favorite body part?

The uvula. Favorite band instrument.

Oboe. Favorite former soviet leader.

Gorbachev. Favorite soup?

Clam chowder.

Red or white?

White.

Duh please.

Girls, girls! Come on.

You guys are both obviously huge fans of amanda.

Is it really that important who's number one?

Uh--yes. Yes, please.

All right, fine.

Ok. Tell you what.

We're gonna settle this with one sudden death final question.

First one to press the button and answer the question correctly, wins

There's no button, please.

I have a button.

Thanks.

Ready?

Ready. Ready, steak!

Blake. Drake.

Don't care. Pose your question.

Ok. In the third grade,

Amanda had a combination lock on her locker at school.

What was the combination?

[Buzz!]

Right, left, pass zero to !

She's right.

Of course, I'm right!

I think we've both learned something here today.

Thanks for playing.

I must go locate amanda

And make her acquaintance, please.

Fair thee well!

[Secret agent music]

Who was that girl?

That was amanda's number one fan.

[Sighs]

Sorry, guys, but we're outta time!

I gotta go reupholster my father! See ya!

Bye!

[Cheers and applause]

Amanda! Amanda, please!

Oh, amanda, where have you gone?

Amanda! Amanda!

Back off! Amanda! Amanda!

Amanda!

Amanda, please.