04x11 - Spy vs. Monster/Misery Date

[bunniefuu]

( Clock chiming, thunderclap )

( Creaking )

( Owl hooting )

( Shrieking )

( Crying )

( Gasps )

( Screaming )

Ickis, you're toast!

( Needle scratching record )

( Chuckles )

( Wheels squeaking )

The bakery

Is out of oats.

My wolverine plays a mean banjo.

Very good, z- .

Here are the secret plans

For the subatomic wave particle

Dehydroxilator.

Take this to s.i.a.
Headquarters.

But be careful.

If it falls into the wrong hands

Your cookie will crumble
in a major way.

( Gulps )

Are you sure
you don't want to find

Somebody else to do this?

Do not fail me, z- .

( Wheels squeaking )

Someone's coming.

Must hide plans.

Perfect.

It'll be safe here.

Ahh...

Where is it?

Got to be here somewhere.

Gromble:
...and was followed by

Zoof the younger
and the other zoof the younger

Who was called the other
zoof the younger

Who then begat...

( Both giggling )

( Shrieking )

Whoa!

( Siren blaring )

( Belching rapidly )

Human in the academy!

( Students gasp )

This is a human
invasion shutdown.

This is not a drill!

( All screaming )

Remove all evidence
of your existence.

( Squawking )

( Screaming )

( Shrieking )

Boy, oh, boy,
I better find that paper

Or my goose is cooked.

( Laughing )

( Gasps )

What's this? This isn't...

Man on radio:
z- , z-

This is x- .

Have you made contact?

Do you have the plans?

Uh, yes, I have them.

Yes.

What are you waiting for?

Bring them to headquarters.

* S.i.a.

Oh, boy, I hope they buy this.

Krumm:
whew, that was a close one.

Oh, well,
no harm done, I guess.

( Screaming )

( Groaning )

Ickis?

Is there something
you'd like to tell me?

Um, well, you see, sir

I think the human took
a piece of paper of mine.

And what was on it?

Some pictures of me...

And you.

Pictures!

They're really
not very good likenesses.

I don't care
if they're stick figures!

They are proof
of our existence.

Any human would
have to be a fool

Not to understand that.

I don't understand this at all.

Uh, well, sir, it's, uh

It's in code.

Yeah, that's it.

The plans are in code.

You're telling me
these doodles

Are the secret plans
for the subatomic

Wave particle
dehydroxilator?!

Uh... Yeah?

All right.

Code-breakers,
get to work on this right away.

( Sighs )

Could someone please

Tell me why these things
always happen to me?

Well, you're
careless and lazy.

You shirk your responsibility,
not to mention you're...

All right!

All right, all right!

You can stop telling me now.

Oh, now, ickis, the solution
seems simple enough.

To get your paper back

We only have to find
the human who left this paper.

Yeah, ickis.

Let's look for clues.

What clues, krumm?!

There are none!

How about something

That fell out of his pocket?

( Groans )

All right.

( Chuckles )

I'd like to see you
pull that stunt twice!

Here we are.

Now, remember,
the human we are looking for

Is wearing a long coat,
and a big, big, big hat.

( Chuckles )

Got it?

( Machines
beeping and chiming )

( Squeals )

( Whimpering )

Can't I have it
easy just once?

( Screeches )

( Clinking )

( Whirring )

( Flash popping, clunk )

It must be some kind of doorway.

Oh, really, you think?

Of course it's a doorway!

( Coin clinking )

And I'll bet we find
our human on the other side.

( Clinking )

Well, here's the bathroom.

But where's the toilet?

* S.i.a.

Man:
welcome to s.i.a.

S.i.a.? What is s.i.a.?

Who are you?

You will hear the code phrase
in five seconds.

Please give
the appropriate response.

The bakery is out of oats.

Oh, oh, uh, sorry,
could you repeat that?

I'm sorry, access denied.

Good-bye.

* S.i.a.

( Buzzing )

( All screaming )

( All groaning )

Ooh, my head.

That is it.

We are never going
to get that paper back!

Bakery, oats, s.i.a.,
What does that mean?

Secret intelligence agency.

Who?

What?

Now, if you could do that
a third time

I'd really be impressed.

( Screaming )

( Beeping )

( Rings )

Secret intelligence agency

Where nothing is too secret.

Z- speaking.

How may I help you?

Hello, did you happen to lose

A piece of paper in the dump?

( Gulps )
what?

Who, who, who...

Who are you?

Never mind that.

We got it! Now, you've
got something of ours

And you're going to get it

Or you're going to get it,
got it?

( Gulps )
I don't know.

Bring it to the dump
at midnight.

We'll be waiting.

( Dial tone )

Talking to someone?

( Yelps )

Uh, uh, th-th-that,
that was my mother--

Who, who volunteered
to help decode the secret plans.

Yeah, so I'm going
to bring this to her house.

Uh, at midnight.

Just a minute.

You're telling me

That your mother
is a secret code-breaker

And you want to bring

The original copy
of the secret plans

To her house? At midnight?

Uh... Yeah?

All right, off you go.

Be careful.

Wait a minute.

Mother, code-breaker,
midnight...

Nobody's mother stays up
past midnight.

I'd better follow him.

( Tough guy voice ):
look at me, sweethearts.

( Regular voice ):
ooh, this is going to be fun.

Ickis, if you don't stop
fooling around...

You never let me have any fun.

What could happen

That would be so bad?

Well, the human
could keep your paper

And expose the existence
of the monster world

Bringing about our total ruin.

( Screeches )

It's him!

Hide!

( Wheels squeaking )

( Humming )

( Whistling )

( Sighs in relief )

That was close.
I almost...

Z- :
do you have my paper?

( Shrieks )

Just... Say something.

Um....
( Clears throat )

Did you bring my paper?

Yes.

Give me mine.

No. You go first.

No, you go first.

Noooo... You go first.

X- :
aha, I knew something was up.

Z- is selling the plans
to the enemy!

No, you go first.

No, you go first.

No, you go first.

This is getting monotonous.

Would you just

Get this over with?!

I've got it!

I got it!

Now I've got it.

Well, two can play at that game.

X- ! That's
the real secret plans.

Now you tell me.

Get it!

( All yelp )

Ickis, we must get

The other half
of your paper.

Tell me about it.

( Screaming )

I've got it!

I got it!

All:
I got it!

( Panting )

I got it.

I got it, I got it!

Oh, gromble.

I did it, I did it!

I got my paper back.

The monster world is saved.

( Squeals in delight )

Congratulations, ickis.

That is...

( Bellows ):
ickis!

We've got it, we've got it!

Forget that stupid doodle,
gentlemen.

These are the real plans

For the subatomic wave
particle dehydroxilator.

( Both screaming )

( Whistling )

Ah, well...

Let's see what this
thingamajig can do.

I could use this

As a reading light!

( Chuckles )

( Laughs )

...or not.

( Krumm blabbering )

Shh!

( Yawning loudly )

( Clearing throat )

( Startled spasms of laughter )

Class, I think
we've had enough for today.

Let's call it a little early,
shall we?

Class dismissed.

( All talking excitedly )

Ickis!

Shh, shh.

( Whispers ):
you can go.

( Snorting )

Ickis!

( Squeals )

( Whimpering )

( Sputtering and rumbling )

Gromble, you forgot your bone.

( Gasps )

Oh, i... Oh.

( Animal howling )

Ickis?

Yes?

Be a good monster

And run along now,
won't you?

( Laughs )

Why, i, uh, you...

Oh, you...

Hasn't the weather
been hideous lately?

Oh, well,
yes, I suppose.

Yes, ah, mmm.

Oh.

Ickis:
I was snorched for sure.

Then he goes, "run along,
ickis," and lets me go.

Well, that is bizarre.

For no reason, he let you go?

Yeah, when she called
his name, it was like

Somebody ate his brain.

Sounds like he's in love.

Ooh, that's it, krummy!

The gromble has a squish
on the library monster.

Oh, isn't that darling?

He didn't snorch me
because of love?

Yes, love has touched his heart
and opened it to the world.

So as long
as he stays goo-goo

For the library monster...

( Laughs )

We can do whatever we want.

Oh, this is good.

It is wonderful.

( Clearing throat )

( Whimpering )

Hello.

( Giggles )

Oblina.

May I speak to you, alone?

She's the most hideous creature
to ever walk the dump.

It's lovely.

One look at her and I felt...
What's the word?

Squishy?

That's it.

I felt squishy.

Wonderful.

What do I do?

It's been years since I felt

The slightest bit squishy
about anyone.

Lovely.

No, oblina

It's terrible.

Help me, oblina,
you're female.

You're young.

Surely you must have some idea

What to do to make her care.

What do I do?

What do I say?

How do I make her love me?!

Oh! Uh, ah, i...
I don't think you can.

What do you mean,
"ooh, ah, uh...

I don't think you can."

Because she's so nice,
and he's, well...

What? Oblina,
you can tell me.

Oh, how would I put it?

You have a, well...

A dynamic personality.

Mm-hmm.

Which may be just a tad

Too dynamic
for the library monster.

But we can fix that.

Or oblina can.

In just two hours

I'll bet oblina could teach you
to be less dynamic

And a little nicer.

And if I was... "Nice"

You think she'd like me?

Oh, without a doubt.

But then what?

Where do I take her?

I want it to be perfect.

But I don't know
the first thing about dating.

Say no more.

Just get yourself sweet

And be by the banks
of the great sewer at : .

I'm so excited.

Why?

Your students said

You had an unforgettable
night planned.

Eh, really?

So, where to?

Uh, well, I think...

Ah! I thought we might
start with a boat ride.

( Krumm grunting )

Ickis:
* o solo mole

* O ropalole

* O solo wormo

* O solo germo...

( Growling )

Isn't this nice?

Yes, it is.

Ickis!

You're nice, too.

Oh, uh...

Ga...

( Ickis sings faster )

* So... ( Chuckling ) ...oh. *

You know, the dump has
never looked as hideous

As it does tonight.

It's amazing
how something or someone

Can be a part
of your life every day

But you never really
see how hideous it is.

You know, you're right.

I've always
had this impression

That you were...

How do I say this?

Mean.

Ahem.

Whenever I turned around

There you were, yelling
at one of your students.

But that doesn't seem
like the real you at all.

Ahe-he-hem.

Oh, eh, it's not the real me.

Oh, I yell at my students.

Just so they respect me.

The real me

Is a pussycat.

Meow.

( Snapping )

( Grunting )

Will you excuse me?

Ickis, be a dear
and don't pull my tail.

( Flies buzzing )

Do you think we
could trouble you

For something
to sit on?

( Snarling )

( Laughing )

You're not mad,
are you?

( Laughing )

No. Me?

Oh, no.

Excuse me.

( Roaring )

( Screaming )

I'll bet you two

Would love to dance.

We would?

I mean, yes.

We would, yes, let's.

Quick, a song.

Are there any lovers
here tonight?

Ickis! Sing!

* With the light

* Of the festering moon...

Oh, sorry.

Oh, that's all right.

Whoopsy.

No problem.

Oh, excuse me.

Ow! It's okay.

Listen, why don't we
head back to the academy?

I want to remember
this wonderful night

Just as it is.

( Shivering )

The stench of romance
is in the air.

* Zee bob ba, do la ba boo.

I don't know,
it still seems strange

Seeing the gromble
acting so nice.

Sometimes love is
a strange thing, krumm.

I guess.

You have to help me.

What happened?

I was so nice

The whole time

I didn't yell
or scream or get mad.

And now I think
she really likes me.

Did I not tell you
that would work?

But if I keep on
being nice

I'll lose my mind.

But the library monster
likes me nice.

Oh, I don't know what to do.

Tell her how you feel

And tell her
how you really are.

You got to be yourself

And if you're not

Then it's like
you're lying to her.

And if you care
about her, then you can't

Do that.

Krumm, that's very perceptive.

I can't play dumb all the time
or I'd lose my mind.

( Wet rumbling )

Sorry. Am I the only one
that's hungry?

Krummy's right.

Go open your soul to her.

( Tearfully ):
let her know you... Truly.

I will, and krumm

I'll be expecting quite a bit
more from you from now on.

I should have
kept my mouth shut.

What are you, crazy?

She likes him now,
the way he is now.

Who cares if it's k*lling him?

I cannot believe you guys.

Honesty!

Nice idea.

I have to speak to you.

Oh, come in.

I really had fun tonight.

You were wonderful.

That's why
I have to talk to you.

I care a lot about you, but

Who I was tonight,
it's not who I am.

How can I say this?

How can I make you see?

Ooh!

Before anybody says anything

Think about it.

Aren't things great
just the way they are?

Ickis?

I mean,
look at you two.

It just sets my heart
all aflutter

Just the way it is right now.

Ickis?

So, grombie

Why don't you
say good night here

And we'll all head home?

What do you say?

Ickis?!

You putrid, oozing

Puddle of pus, be quiet!

What?

I'm trying to make a point

And you are interrupting!

Clear out of here
before I press you

Between the pages
of your monster manual!

Oh...

That felt good!

Oh, my.

That, my dear, is what
I was trying to tell you.

The part of myself
I've been afraid to reveal.

Tell me, now that you've seen

That side of me

Can you still care for me?

No.

No?

No.

I guess

I'm a little too...

Dynamic?

No. You're
a little too loud.

Well, i...

I'm afraid I can't change that.

I know.

I'm sorry.

So am i.

Oh, well.

So long.

How are you?

I've been better.

It was a dumb idea

To try to make you different.

I shouldn't have suggested it.

I shouldn't have listened.

But I did.

Well, it won't happen again.

My heart has had
its last little adventure.

It's time I accepted it.

No one wants
a monster who...

Speaks with purpose
and gusto. I know.

Well put.

Good night, ickis.

Female monster:
you call that room dirty?!

That's the neatest,
cleanest excuse

For a dorm room
I have ever seen.

Well, you can't
run from me forever

You little neatniks!

Those stubby little legs
of yours

Will tire out
sooner or later.

Oh, hello.

( Laughs )

You...

You...

Hasn't the weather
been hideous lately?

* O ropalole

* O solo wormo...

* ...wossamotta u

* Hooly-wooly-woo

* Alla fria...

* ...so... ( Chuckling )
...oh. *

( Krumm blabbering )

Library monster: shh!

( Giggling )