04x02 - Showdown/Internal Affairs

[bunniefuu]

[ Clock chiming, thunderclap]

[ Creaking]

[ Owl hooting]

[ Shrieking]

[ Crying]

[ Gasps]

[ Screaming]

Oh, can I go now?!

[ Needle scratching record]

[ Chuckles]

[ Loud thunderclap]

[ Horse whinnying]

[ Whinnies again]

[ Spurs jingling]

Somebody sent me
a telegram.

Says here
he wants to hire

The world's greatest hunter.

[ Guffawing]

[ With australian accent]:
job's taken-- by me.

And who are you?

Stig snowdon...

World's greatest hunter.

Take a look. That's me.

Yeah, well I'm bones duvalier.

And I caught nine of the guys
on the ten most wanted list.

So, I guess
you never caught number ten.

I amnumber ten!

And I'm the best hunter
in the world!

Any bloke's the best,
it's me.

[ Starts growling]

Ha-ha! The best hunter
in the world
just caught you both!

Cimmarron kilkenny.

[ Laughs gleefully]

Enough!

I'mthe world's
greatest hunter.

The name, simon.

If you're so
all-fired good

Why did you
call us all?

Good question.

Yeah.

Let me introduce myself.

I've got a great big brain.

Big brain, huge... Brain!

I belong behind the scenes.

I'm the one pulling the strings.

You guys

You brawny, big
strapping guys!

And you...

The dirty work
is your job.

And what dirty work is that?

[ Chuckles]

You're going to catch me...

A real live monster!

A monster?

[ Guffaws]

[ Also laughing]

You are crazy.

The guy's a nut.

Yes, but a rich nut.

I told you I had a job for you

And thisis what it pays!

Blimey!

That's a lot of cash.

And whoever catches
your monster...?

Gets the money.

What's this monster look like?

Here... Look these over.

They should put you
on its trail.

[ Sniffing]

Huh.

Now, whoever
finds my monster

Gets the money!

[ Starts motorcycle,
peels out]

[ Horse whinnies]

[ Sighs happily]

[ Grunts]

[ Burps loudly]

[ Tires squealing]

[ Engine roaring]

[ Tires squeal]

[ Cuts engine]

[ Gasps quietly]

[ Whimpers]

[ Imitates ickis]:
hi.

[ Shrieks]

[ Wheels squeaking]

[ Thud, crash]

[ Growling]

[ Horse whinnies]

This way! He went this way!

[ Shrieks]

[ Gasps]

[ Growling]

[ Barking]

You gol-dang polecat,
bunny-looking monster thing!

You just wait!

Soon as I get my hands free

I'm going to dress you
like a spring calf!

[ Can crashing]

What is it, monster season?

Did somebody
paint a target on my back?!

[ Engine revving]

He's down there!

[ Whimpering]

I cannot take much more of this.

[ Yelling]:
I don't know who you are

But leave me alone!

I said, leave me alone!

[ Growls]

[ Screams]

Whoa!

All:
oof!

[ Air hissing]

[ Whiny]:
okay, okay!

If all the nightmare
vicious humans

Are done tormenting me

I'm going to head home,
all right?!

[ Bellows]:
idiots!

Morons!

One itty-bitty, teensy-weensy

Floppy-eared bunny monster!

You clumsy, ineffectual,
scaredy hunters!

Come on!

Who's man...

[ All snorting]

Or woman...

Enough to bring me back
my monster?

Does anybody want the money?

We don't want
your money.

That little monster

Made us
look like fools.

And we don't like that.

Okay, so you'll bring me
my monster for nothing?

[ All guffawing]

[ Joins in laughter]

What?

We're not bringing you...

No monster.

No. That there monster
is history.

Get in our way
and you're history, too.

Wait a minute. W-what would
you want with a monster?

I reckon his ears
would make nice saddlebags.

And I fancy them teeth

Would look right nice
around me neck.

And what do you want
with my monster?

Maybe, just some cole slaw.

[ Laughing heartily]

They've got to be stopped!

That's my monster!

They can't just march in here

And turn my monster
into saddlebags!

I've got to stop them.

Wait a minute.

What am I saying?

If I go out there,
they'll k*ll me.

I'm a chicken!

A big, fat chicken!

Chicky, chicky, chicky,
chick, chick, chicken!

Ah! Thank garbage, home.

[ Gasps]

[ Horse screeches
to halt]

[ Shrieking]

Eek.

Look at you.

You pathetic excuse
for a human being.

I guess you're going to let
the big kids push you around

Like always, huh?!

Nothing ever changes, does it?

[ Tires squealing]

[ Horse whinnies]

[ Both sets of tires
squealing]

[ Whinnying]

I can do this.

If I take all this stuff

I can keep those guys
from getting my monster!

No problemo!

Ha-ha!

[ Whoosh]

[ Yells]

[ Clank]

[ Rolling]

[ Cries]

[ Horse whinnies]

[ Kiaiing]

Foom, foom, foom-foom-foom!

[ Laughing]

I can b*at them
and get that monster for myself!

They picked the wrong guy
to mess with.

Wait till they get a load
of simon-san!

[ Yells]

Yow! Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!

I've got it!

Now...

[ Inhales deeply]

[ Sighs]

I give up.

[ Yodeling like tarzan]

Jump, jump!

Run!

Weave!

Weave back and forth!

[ Tires squealing]

[ Peeling out]

[ Horse whinnies]

[ Whinnying]

[ Ship's horn blows]

Wait here!
I'll give a signal.

Trust me.

Now?

Not yet!

Now?

Not yet!

Now!

[ Hooves thundering]

[ Whinnies]

[ All scream]

[ Horn blows]

[ Whinnying]

Ha-ha!

So long, suckers!

You call yourselves
hunters, huh?

Yes!ha-ha-ha!

Think you can
catch a monster, huh?

♪ You can catch
a monster...♪ Not!

Yeah, fat chance.

That's right!

Only i...
Simon the monster hunter

Can catch a monster.

That's right,
only simon can catch a monster.

Run!
It won't do you any good.

I'll catch you...

Hey, slow down!

You can run,
but you can't hide!

And I'll find you

And I'll catch you

And I'll put you on tv!

And everyone will love me

Me, simon the monster hunter.

[ Loud thunderclap]

They'll know the truth--

That monsters

Are very real!

[ Loud thunderclap]

[ Gulls squawking]

[ Monsters yelling]

[ Ickis giggling]

[ Both laughing]

[ Sucking]

[ Burps]

Ooh.

Hmm, medium-size, meaty

Kes gaage--

A definite possibility.

[ Shivers]
much too skinny.

What a nightmare!

Now, that's
a veritable palace

For a parasite.

Home on the hoof,
three squares a day

And room to expand.

Drm us here I co!

He tt'mi!y,no! Ne

Yes, yes.

No.

Yes.

I can see there's only
one way to settle this.

I shall eat it.

[ Parasite yelling]

Aw, look at this,
she's a stick!

I could have had the big one.

Oh, well, I'm going
to make this place bigger, eh?

Now, one of these
has got to be hunger.

But which one?

Krumm:
oblina, are you
all right?

I'm fine, I am just...

Hungry!

[ Grunting
greedily]

[ Tinkly music box playing]

They call that music?

It ain't art, but it's a start.

[ Groaning]:
um, sir

We have
a little problem

We'd like
to discuss with you.

[ Snorting sleepily]

This had better be
a bigproblem, ickis!

[ Toy squeaks]

[ Gasps]
sluggy buggy!

I doot see
why everne is so upset.

Oh, I just feel perfectly fine.

[ Snorting]

Let's see what
we have here.

Mmm, this is bad,
very, very bad.

I have run up against
this character before.

He lives in
other monsters

Making them hungry.

His name is sal.

He'll either
get bored and leave

Or she'll eat until
she bursts...

All:
bursts?!

Like a boil.

[ Panting]

This is absolutely ridiculous.

There is an easy way
to fix this.

I will simply pull my guts out
of my mouth and... Voila.

Voila.

Voila.

[ Bawling]

No, no, no!

My guts are too big!

I cannot pull them out!

If I cannot pull out my guts,
I cannot scare!

Just give it
to me straight, doc.

Have you got
anything to eat?

[ Sucking]

Oh, better.

There must be some way
to get rid of sal.

Why, if krumm and I
were small enough

We'd go right in there
and we'd make him come out!

We would send him packing!

Too bad there's no way
to make us small like that.

[ Whining hysterically]

Oh, no!

Thanks a lot, buddy.

Don't worry,
the shrinkmaster

Is a fine machine.

Why the shrinkmaster ,
dr. Buzz kutt?

The other , didn't work.

Gromble:
there's a map in the boat.

You only need to get
to her stomach and back.

I have complete confidence
that you will be successful.

Good luck.

And don't screw it up!

Groaning ]

[ Babbling
excitedly]

That must be
the p-tooey-tary gland.

[ Ickis shrieking]

Which way, ickis?

Go left.

Left? Right.

No, no, left, I said, left!

Where do you think we are?

I think it's
her scaritory glands.

Don't touch anything!

One false move and...

[ Both screaming...]

I hate my life.

Oh!

[ Grunting]

What's happening?

I feel funny.

They're in her lungs!

They're doomed, doomed.

There's nothing we can do.

No, they're not!

Quick, oblina,
hold your breath.

[ Gasps]

They can climb out.

I just hope they don't slip.

One false move and they'll
activate her horendix!

[ Both screaming]

Don't let me go!

Don't
let me go!

Will you stop wiggling?

I can't hold you.
[ Both screaming]

[ Siren wailing]

Oh.

[ Groaning]

Incoming!

Take cover!

[ Yelling]

Hold it!

Ickis, krumm, stop
lollygagging around.

You get back in there
and find that parasite!

[ Grunting]

Hey, this stuff tingles.

Oh, it's digestive acid.

We made it,
we're in her stomach!

Acid?
We better get out

Before we're
digested, too.

Oh, ow!

Oh, ow!

Hey, hey, hey,
was you raised in a barn?

I want you off of that rug,
that is genuine banana skin.

Hey, what are you doing here,
anyway, huh?

This is my gig, scram!

This isn't a gig.

This is our friend,
oblina.

Yeah, and it's time for you
to move out, buster.

Nowhere to run,
nowhere to hide.

That's what
you think, wiseguy.

I'll bury youse alive!

[ Laughing]

Eat, monster.

Eat!

I need...
Garbage!

Oblina, no!

[ Krumm and ickis
groaning and squealing]

[ Laughing]

All right!

That is it!

I have had enough.

I have been shrunk,
I have been eaten

I have been shoop-de-looped

Through places
no monster should ever see.

I refuse to be digested!

Sal parasite...

You have met your match!

Ickis, wait!

[ Gulping]

Ooh!

She's going to explode.

Ickis, I don't think
this is helping.

You got
a better idea?

Ooh!

[ Sal grunting]

You'll never get me out.

Wait, stop. Don't pull the...

The blue one.

[ Cackling]

The blue one, huh?

You don't want me
to pull the blue one?

Wait, wait, wait!

We can talk about this.

I'm through talking!

[ Rattling and jangling]

[ Screams]

[ Gasping]

Oblina?

[ Burps]

[ Gasps]

Sluggy buggy!

Oh, icky.

Oh, krummy.

Oh, how can I
ever thank you?

[ Giggles]
it was nothing.

Nothing?!

Nothing?!

Do you have any idea
what we...?

Oblina, it was...
We almost got k...!

Ickis.

Oh... You're welcome.

Look what you did,
you homewreckers.

Not so fast, buster.

So you got me, who cares?

You can't do anything to me,
you see

Because I am not
one of your little students.

No.

But you have been toying
with my students.

I think that deserves a special
kind of punishment, don't you?

[ Laughing]

[ Gulps]

[ Tinkly music playing]

Gromble:
so dance, dance,
boogie-oogie-oogie

Till you just can't boogie
no more!

Simon:
I have been chosen

To prove to the world

That monsters are real.

I won't rest until every monster

Is shaven and clean

And dressed in little polo pants

With polo shirts

And dressed for prep school

And having little box lunches

And little orange juices.

And outside of school

Their monster mommies

Will pick them up

And bring them home

And lock them in a cage!

And I can't do that

Unless I have a live monster

One I can examine scientifically

And teach them to do
little tricks

Tricks for talk shows...