03x10 - Freezer b*rned

[bunniefuu]

Oh, here it goes.

♪ Everybody out there
go run and tell ♪

♪ Your homeboys
and homegirls ♪

♪ It's time for
kenan and kel ♪

♪ They'll keep you laughing
in the afternoon ♪

♪ So don't touch that dial,
don't leave the room ♪

♪ Because they're always
into some more fun ♪

♪ And you don't
want to miss it ♪

♪ It's double k
like do the good way ♪

♪ It's kenan and kel,
or should I say kel and kenan? ♪

♪ Then you gotta
watch kenan ♪

♪ 'Cause kenan be scheming
with a plan or a plot ♪

♪ To make it to the top

♪ But they're kinda
in the middle ♪

♪ 'Cause they're always
getting caught ♪

♪ This ain't the hardy boys
or nancy drew mystery ♪

♪ It's just kenan and kel
in your vicinity ♪

♪ Like zigfried and roy
or abbott and costello ♪

♪ Magic and kareem
or penn and teller ♪

♪ Somebody's in trouble?
Oh, here it go ♪

♪ On nick nick nick nick
nick nick nick nick ♪♪

Captioning made possible
by nickelodeon

And the u.s. Department
of education

Thank you. Wow!

Welcome, welcome.

My title is... Kenan.

[Cheers and applause]

Thank you very much.

Whoo! And my handle is kel.

[Cheers and applause]

You know, we got
a great show in store
for you all tonight.

Uh, kenan, what's
tonight's show about?

Didn't anyone tell you?

No. No one ever tells me.

Audience: awwww.

Aw...poor thing.

So are you gonna tell me
about tonight's show?

Nope.

Ooohhhhhh!

But you know what?
I'll give you a hint.

Bring out the hint.

[Fanfare music plays]

[Sniffing]

A frozen fish.

Oh, no! We're not gonna be
turned into giant fish,
are we?

No.

Ok, wait a minute.
I think I got it.

We win a trip to idaho,
but on the plane ride there

We run out of fuel and are
forced to land in sweden,
where we become magicians.

And then we eat the fish?

Wow. What an amazingly
awful guess.

Then tell me.

You'll find out
soon enough.

Now, come on
gravy cheeks.

Kenan! My cheeks
are not gravy-like.

Kenan!
Kenan, come back here!

You see what I go through,
you see what I go through?

Yes, I do. Yes, I do.

Aw, here it goes!

I just wanna
thank you all again

For inviting me over
to dinner.

Oh, you're welcome.

I haven't had
a home-cooked meal

Since mother left
for lumberjack school.

Lumberjack school?

Here it is!
Roger's special jumbo trout.

Hope everybody's hungry.

Starved!

Lumberjack school?

Hey!

Am I late
for dinner?

Kel, you just ruined
the dinner.

How did I ruin dinner?

Come here!

Oh.

Ooh!

Maybe we should
go out to eat.

No, no, wait, wait!
No need for that!
I can fix it!

I can fix it.
L-l-l-let me fix it.

Wait, wait. There we go.

Oh, oh, here it is.

Ok.

Ah!

Huh? How does it look?

[Groaning]

So where you all
wanna go eat?

♪ A pirate's life is hearty

♪ A pirate's life,
no peer ♪

♪ We sing and dance
all night ♪

♪ And wash but once a year

♪ Yo-ho yo-ho yo-ho
yo-ho yo-ho ♪

♪ Yo-ho yo-ho yo-ho
yo-ho yo-ho ♪

♪ And wash but once a year

Aaaaarrrrgggghhh.
Aaarrrggghhhhh!

Yeah! Yeah! Whoo!

Rrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Boy, they sure know how
to get jiggy with it.

Lumberjack school?

Hey, daddy,
where's our food?

Yeah, we ordered
minutes ago.

Waiter man?
Over here.

Young man,
I'm a professional waiter,

Not a house pet to be shouted
at from across the room.

Can we shout at you
close up like this?!

I would prefer
that you didn't.

I'll be right out
with your food.

Are you pirate hank?

No. My name is gavin.

But we're all pirates here
at pirate hank's.

Aha.

Gavin?
What do you have

Under that eye patch?

Um, maybe a band-aid,

Or a scar where
your eye used to be?

Let me see.

Flip it back down,
please.

You'll have to excuse
my friend.

His boyish curiosity
at times gets
the best of him.

Kel, leave him alone
so he can go get our food.

But I wanna pet
his parrot.

It's fake, nutty!
It's not a real parrot.

Yes, it is.

No, it's not.

Yes, it is.

All: no, it's not.

Yes, it is.

All: no, it's not!

Yes, it is.

Stop!

Kel, it's a fake...parrot!

[Thud]

That was fake,
wasn't it?

Yes, it was fake.

Now, please.
Let me go get your food.

Go ahead.

I think gavin isn't
a real pirate.

Kel, there haven't
been pirates for
over years.

There's no such thing
as pirates anymore.

No such thing
as pirates?!

No such thing
as pirates?!

Listen up, everybody!

This place is fake!

None of the pirates are real!

Sit down, kel.

Hey, isn't that
the psychologist
from television?

Mrs. Rockmore:
yeah, that's
dr. Joyce brothers!

It is her!

Don't stare,
don't stare!

She's my mother's
favorite psychologist.

I'd get her autograph,
but I'd hate to bother her
while she's eating.

Then I'll do it.

Kenan: now, kel, wait!
Don't...aw!

Hey, doctor,
dr. Joyce brothers.

Hi.

Wow. Can I have
your autograph?

Oh, sure.

Hee hee hee. Cool.

Write it out
to chris's mother.

Chris, she's doing it!
She's doing it.

Dr. Joyce brothers!
Hee hee hee.

Doctor...doctor...

You know, doctor,
I've been having
a problem.

Let me just show you.

I'd be happy to help.

I got a rash
on my foot...

I am so sorry.

Kel, she's not that
kind of doctor.

Huh?

She's a psycho-
logist,

You know, she
listens to people's
problems,

And gives them
advice and stuff.

He's right.
My advice to you

Is take your foot out
of my mashed potatoes.

Sorry.
Maybe I can fix it.

Stop it! You just
keep on eating,

And we're just gonna,
you know...

Leave me alone?

That's it.

Bye bye. I'm sorry.

[Cheers and applause]

Watch out.

You ruined my birthday.
I hate you!

Ow!!!!!!

He's--he's really sorry.

That's quite
all right.

Are you ok, kel?

He's fine.

I know.

I'm sorry, but there

Will be a slight delay
with your meals.

I seemed to have dropped them
on a children's birthday party.

Hey, what's
pirate hank's
tankard challenge?

To win
the tankard challenge

You have to drink
an entire tankard of grog

In under seconds.

Forget it, kel.

If you can do it,

Everyone at your table
eats for free.

Do it, kel.

Do they have
orange soda grog?

Yes.
But I must tell you

It's not humanly possible

To drink an entire tankard
of grog in under seconds.

Humanly possible?
Well, that doesn't
apply to kel.

Humanly possible--
that's a good one,
chris. Ha ha ha.

Hey, hey, hey!

Bring on that tankard.

Come on, kel,
you can do it.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah! Win us some
free food.

Who loves orange grog?

Kel loves orange grog.

All: is it true?

I do, I do, I do,
ooh!

Whoa!

Aw, that's huge!

Your tankard
of orange grog,
sir.

You got seconds, kel.

All right, I'm ready.

Oh, whoopee.

Go. ...

All: ... ... ... ... ...

[Cheering]

We won! We won!

We won the free food!

Bring us our free meal,
please.

I live to serve, sir.

Ooh! Wait a minute.

Oh, now my bladder's
all filled with grog.

Where's your bathroom?

The bathroom is just
down the hall.

Follow that arrow.

The arrow?
Ok. Got it.

I won!

Remind me to check
the temperature
in that freezer.

It seems awfully cold
in there.

Oh, yeah!

Uh...um...
You dropped
your fish.

No kidding.

You don't have to bring fish
to a restaurant.

I'm not a customer,
you fool.

I'm the chef.

Well, the chef,
can you tell me where
the bathroom is?

You have eyes.
Follow the arrow.

Come, manfred.

Follow the arrow?
Well, where is the arrow?

Oh, here it is.

Ok.

Well, it can't be down there.

What?

This is a weird bathroom.

Where's the soap dispensers?

Brr! It's freezing in here.

I'm gonna have to talk
to pirate hank about this.

Ahoy. Here be
your meal.

I have the matey platey.

I had
the skull and cross
boneless chicken.

Ooh, ok, let's dig in.

But kel's not back
from the bathroom yet.

Oh, he's probably
in there playing with
the soap dispensers.

He likes those.

I say we get
this food to go,
and leave him here.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

I'll go get him.

Super fish.

Able to leap tall humans
in a single bound.

♪ Da da da da

♪ Super fish,
super fish ♪

What?!

Kel, what are you doing?

I'm playing
with a fish.

What's it look
like I'm doing?

No. Why are you in here?

Oh, I was waiting
for someone to come
in so I could leave.

Is this a bad bathroom
or what?

They don't even have
any soap dispensers.

This isn't the bathroom,
frosty.

It's a freezer, man.
Come on, let's get
outta here.

Where's the handle
on this door?

Oh, well, here it is,
but it doesn't work
very well.

Help! Help, somebody!

We're locked in! Anybody!

K-kenan, calm down.

Calm down, man!

Aw, you're gonna
break the door open!

Aaaggghhhh!

Locked in the freezer!

Oh, man! I don't get it.

The sign in the hallway
said that the bathroom
was down this way.

I think I'm beginning
to understand.

I was running
to the bathroom

And ran into the chef,

And we knocked down
the arrow that was

Pointing
to the bathroom.

I must have put
the arrow back up

Pointing in the
wrong direction.

This is all
the chef's fault!

This isn't the chef's fault,
hammer head!

You're the one that put
the arrow up wrong.
It's your fault.

Kenan, it's real easy
to sit around pointing
fingers at someone.

See what I mean?

Whoo! It's freezing
in here.

Man, what are we gonna do?

I don't know.
Wait, wait!

Let's have
a sword fight
with fish.

Will you stop it, man?!
We gotta get outta here!

Come on, fight me.

Fight me.

Stop it.

♪ Fight me, fight me,
fight me ♪

♪ Fight me, fight me,
fight me, fight me ♪

Wait, wait, wait!
Don't close the...

Door.

What are you two doing
in the freezer?

We thought it
was the bathroom
because genius here

Messed up the sign
out there.

I see. Well, feel free
to leave immediately!

Can't do that because
that same genius

Broke the handle
off the door.

We're stuck in here.

Oh, goody.

Will you stop poking me
with this fish?!

Wait, wait, wait!
Don't close the...

Door.

This isn't the bathroom.

Man, we gotta do
something fast,

Or we're gonna
freeze to death.

Wait. Freeze to death!

Yes. That's what generally

Happens when you're trapped
inside a freezer!

But I don't wanna
freeze to death.

Ag-ag-ag-ag-ag-ag!

I want some more grog.

Where's our waiter?

And where's kel?

And kenan. Their food's
getting cold.

Well, I've got
to go to the bathroom.

I'll check on them.

Ok.

Didn't you hear us
yelling "hold the door"?

I thought you said
closethe door.

Will you please
let go of me?

I'm sorry.
I'm just so cold.

I'm freezing.
Why am I freezing?

We're in a freezer!

We're never gonna
get outta here.

[Crying]

Ok, look. Calm down.

I got an idea.

Oh. Oh, ok.

All right.

[Thud]

Ok, so here's my idea.
We break into teams of ...

All: don't close the...

Door.

What's going on
in here?

We're trapped in the freezer,
and we're all gonna die.

[Crying]

Freezer? I thought
this was a bathroom.

That's because somebody
knocked the arrow off

The rest room sign
out there,

And then put it back
on the wrong way.

Gee. I wonder who that
could have been.

It was me!

And then I broke the handle
on the door.

That's why we're
all stuck in here.

♪ Yo-ho yo-ho yo-ho

Aaagggghhhhhh!

All: don't close the door!

Ohhhhhhh!

Aaaawwwwwwwww!

Whoo!

I'm feeling sleepy.

Oh, no wonder.
It's : .

I'm usually in bed
by now.

Mama, I have to go
to the bathroom.

Oh, come on, honey,
I'll go with you.

Excuse us, chris.

All: the door!

This is ridiculous.

I can't believe that
you haven't been able

To keep that door
from slamming behind
at least oneof these people!

Y-y-you'd think,
wouldn't you?

♪ We wash but
once a year ♪

Will you quit...
Playing?!

Shh.

Kenan! Did you see it?

I'm stuck! I'm stuck!

Hey, I told you not
to lick the frozen meat.

[Mumbling]
I know, let me tell you
how it happened.

[Pulling]

[Pop]

Thanks.
Man, I'm hungry.

Gavin, where's our food?

Ooh, hey.

[All talk at once]

Ok, ok, ok, everybody.

Ok, now, listen up.
Everybody, listen.

Now, if we wanna get
outta here,

We gotta stay focused
on the door.

Ok, now, I'm gonna stand next
to the door, right?

Sooner or later somebody's
gonna come in here,

And I'm going
to make sure...

[All shouting]

The door doesn't close.

Is this the bathroom?

Yes.

I have to go to the bathroom.

All: we all do!!

Everybody please try
and relax.

Conserve your physical
and mental energy.

But I'm cold.

Oh, we all are, honey.

That's right, we're all cold,

And we're all gonna
freeze to death!

Hey, hey, pipe down.

Man, there's gotta be some way
to make it warmer in here.

Wait a minute.
I got an idea.

We can rub these icicles
together and start a fire.

Or maybe we could try
something that might
actually work.

There has to be
a temperature control
in here somewhere.

If those of us withbrains
put them together,

Maybe we can locate it.

I think it's over there.

I think I see it.
Is this it?

That's it.
Help him, manfred.

No, I don't need
any help, manfred.

I can do it myself.
I'll just turn it on high.

Kenan: kel,
don't touch that!

Oops.

Huh.

On behalf of everyone
trapped in here,

I would like
to thank you, kel,

For breaking
the temperature control.

Yes. Instead
of freezing cold,

It's now
o degrees.

I'm burning up!

What's that
awful smell?

The fish
are all rotting,

[All groan]

You've ruined all our food!

Come, manfred.

I got it! I got the door!

Yeah! Whoo!

[All cheering]

[All groan]

Ok, ok, ok. Everybody calm down,
calm down, calm down.

I'm sure kel will be right back
to let us all out.

Breathe.

[Cheering]

See?

I'm back. I had to go
to the bathroom.

Let me get
this straight.

You were outside,
free to go,

And then you
came back in,

And you just shut
the door behind you,
locking us all in?!

He's the reason we're locked
in here in the first place.

It's also his fault
it's so hot in here.

I hate you.

I hate him, too.

Whoaaaaaaa!!!!!!

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute!

Wait a minute,
doggone it.

This isn't
kel's fault.

He does
this sort of thing
all the time.

Come, manfred,
let's get him.

Please, please. It's so easy
in a situation such as this

For groups to overreact.

Sure, kel is little bit annoying
and a little bit frustrating,

But hurting him isn't
a solution.

No matter how much
we want to...

Oh, forget it.
Let's get him.

Chris!!!!

Oh, so this is where
everybody is.

Well, thanks for another
memorable evening, kel!

Well, at least he drank
all his grog

And won us all
free dinners.

No!

Yeah, yeah, and it
was my idea

To rub the icicles
together and start
a fire.

Kel. Shh.

I just wanna
thank you all again

For inviting
me to dinner.

No problem.

Now, if someone
could please take me
to the hospital.

[Thud]

Oh, chris, chris!

[All shouting]

Wow. Thank you all.

Did you all enjoy
the situation comedy?

[Cheers and applause]

Wow.

Thank you very much.

Oh, yeah! Well, I know

I had a good time. Whoo!

Kel. I wasn't talking
to you, man.

I was talking
to the audience.

Oh, I still had
a good time. Yeah!

Well, I'm glad you
enjoyed yourself.

All right.
Hey, kenan...

Ooh, ooh, look.
Look, look!

What? What am I
looking at?

♪ Keep looking

♪ Keep looking

Kel, I don't
see nothing, man.
What's out there?

Yeah, well, I know.
Keep looking.

What's out
in the distance?

What the...

Ha ha ha ha ha!

There was nothing
to look at.

It was just a clever ruse
to distract you

So I could handcuff us
together.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Um...kel?

Hmm?

Why would you wanna
handcuff us together?

Because this way
you can't run off

Into some other adventure.

Now you're stuck here
with me.

[Shrill laughter]

Wow, kel, that seems
like a very good plan.

Thank you.

But I think you
ought to leave

The scheming to me.

Aaagggghhhhhhh!

Aaaggghhh!

Now, kel, grab
a beach towel,

A boneless breast
of chicken...

Stop that...
And a bagpipe,

And meet me
at the nuclear
power plant.

Come on, glow worm.

Kenan! K-k-kenan!

How did you break
the handcuffs?

Kenan, you been working out
or something?

Kenan! Aw, here it goes!

Why?!