03x04 - The Green Light

[bunniefuu]

["NEMESIS" PLAYING]

[MUSIC ENDS]

["STAYIN' ALIVE" PLAYING]

[CORY] Hey.

Kyle, here we go. [LAUGHING]

[KYLE SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

My saving grace. Where
would we be without Retta?

- Nowhere.
- Nowhere.

Thank you, all.

- All right. Here we go.
- [YANKO] I mean,

- I know I'm shticky...
- Hey, Cory.

- Hey!
- [CORY] Ladies and gentlemen, here we go.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Here we go.

Let's sing for our supper.

- [CHRISTINA] Yeah.
- Run up the bill.

- We're hungry. We're gonna k*ll it.
- [CHRISTINA LAUGHS]

[CROWD CHEERING]

- [RETTA] Hi, everybody. How's it going?
- [CHEERING CONTINUES]

[DOG BARKS]

- [EXCLAIMS] The UBA pooch! [CHUCKLES]
- [BARKING CONTINUES]

Hello, Bradley.

UBA, am I right?

[CORY] What a privilege. I salute you.

- Thank you for your service to UBA.
- Thank you, sir.

This is the show. I
love it. Great energy.

[KNOCKS]

- Thank you. [CHUCKLES]
- Ugh.

[CORY] You're gonna have
your work cut out for you.

Let it rip. [GROANS]

[RETTA] Here at UBA, we've been
hearing the word "canceled" a lot.

And I'm not gonna lie to you.
I'm starting to freak out a little bit.

I'm just saying. When I hear people
talking about The Donner Party,

I can't be sure if they're talking about

our number one hit drama series

or lunch at the commissary.

- [STELLA] Knock knock.
- Oh, baby's first upfronts.

[SIGHS] God, I miss COVID. Can't
we just do all of this on Zoom?

[LAUGHS] Come on, it's
tradition. It's fun.

It's a thousand ad execs from Chicago

binge eating takeout from Flavortown.

Stella, don't be a snob.

[SIGHS] Fine.

- You ready?
- Yep.

- [ARTIST] Good to go.
- Great.

[GASPS] My best self. Thank you.

Look, this is all, like,
a-a necessary evil, right?

Oh, it's the beautiful thing about
bullshit. It can't be outsourced.

[RETTA] ... institutional
racism, and I'm like,

- "Yeah, the writing was on the wall...
- [CORY SIGHS]

[RETTA] ... when they
canceled Basketball Wives."

'Cause that sh*t was good. And
then the suits, they always say,

"Black people don't sell well overseas."

And I'm like, "Really? 'Cause it seems

to me we sold well for centuries."

- [AUDIENCE GROANS]
- Yeah, I said it. But y'all did it.

[AUDIENCE CHEERING, LAUGHING]

[STELLA] Wow, she's amazing.

- Who's worse?
- [CORY] Yeah.

Do you have eyes on the Ellipse boys?

Yeah, they're out there.
Looking bored out of their minds.

- Are you ready to lock this sh*t down?
- [RETTA] ...a lot of sketchy sh*t...

If I get them to commit to
$ million in ad sales,

- I want a raise and a Birkin bag.
- [RETTA] ... because one old white lady...

- Oh, well, I'll do you one better.
- [RETTA] ... wrote Aunt Jemima.

If you get 'em to commit to $
million, we all get to keep our jobs.

- [STELLA] Mmm.
- [RETTA] Does no one remember...

We don't get our loan
unless the ad boys pony up.

Now if you don't think you can
pull it off, I can send Leonard.

- Trust me, I've got this.
- [RETTA] ...and his sext messages...

All right, well, singing a
song of gladness and cheer.

Hi. Two minutes till you're on.

Knock 'em dead.

Thank you.

[SIGHS]

Thanks, Retta.

Secretly, I've been...
[STAMMERS] ...dreading this. Nah.

Thanks, Retta. Secretly... "Hey,
I've been s... " I've been secretly...

Thanks, Retta. I've been
secretly dreading this.

Thanks, Retta. [SIGHS] I've
been secretly dreading this.

[CHUCKLES] Thanks, Retta. I've
been secretly dreading this.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

- [AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
- And now, the man behind the curtain.

Some call him captain of the
Titanic, others Napoleon at Waterloo.

I call him the man who definitely
did not cut the brake lines

- in Mitch Kessler's car.
- [AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

Please give it up for
UBA's CEO, Cory Ellison.

- [AUDIENCE CHEERING, LAUGHING]
- [SIGHS]

Oh, sh*t. Hey, Napoleon.

- Oh.
- Hi. I didn't see my, uh, docuseries

on your fancy sizzle reel this morning.

- [GROANS] Oh, my.
- Are you not picking up the show?

Are you asking me as
talent who needs placating

- or as a partner with a vested interest?
- Don't f*ck with me. Speak English.

- Just tell me what's happening.
- [SIGHING]

We are flirting with
financial disaster. [CHUCKLES]

Okay, so does that... You
are not picking up the show?

Oh, the God's honest truth, I
haven't made a decision about that.

I have to see how things go this week.

What is going on? Are
we in that much trouble?

[CHUCKLES] It is... [STAMMERS]
... dire, Alex. No bueno.

Okay, I'm s... I'm very
confused. I am very confused.

I thought you were
all in with Paul Marks.

Oh, no. That deal is toast.

- It's toast? What? Wha...
- Yeah.

I guess he didn't like
being cucked by you.

Okay... [STAMMERS] ... first
of all, I didn't cuck anybody.

Oh, yeah, that was a cucking.

And believe me when I tell
you, the male ego is fragile.

Some guys aren't into
that kind of thing.

Especially if you've spent the last

years reinventing jet propulsion.

But if you wanna help
keep the lights on,

we could use your considerable

superpowers to woo
some ad execs tonight.

Mmm. [CLICKS TONGUE, INHALES DEEPLY]

- I wooed all morning, but okay.
- Ah.

I will woo. I'll keep wooing
till the cows come home.

- Thank you.
- Sure.

[BLOWS]

Hey, will you do me a favor?

Sure. Here are your pants for
tonight for Cory's Hamptons thing.

Oh, right. Um, will you find
out if Paul Marks is in town?

I was sure I was gonna
see him this morning.

Yeah, I-I heard he was
going to the YDA party.

He's staying at the Mercer.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

[PHONE DINGS]

Unfortunately, NBN's very own
Laura Peterson was implicated

in UBA's hack.
Unsurprisingly, no d*ck pics.

- [AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
- [SCOFFS]

But we did find unreleased photos
of Laura and Bradley gone wild.

- Oh.
- Sorry, I meant in the wild.

I mean, by the looks of it, we're in for

a Sound of Music lesbian reboot.

Whoo, my hills are alive
just thinking about it.

[AUDIENCE CHEERING, LAUGHING]

[PHONE DIALING]

[PHONE RINGING]

Hey. How are you?

Hey... [SIGHS] ... I'm good. [CHUCKLES]

Who would've ever thought
we were aspirational?

[LAUGHS] I know. We should
design a line of bonnets.

[CHUCKLES] I'd be willing to
open an Etsy store with you

if you come to Cory's party later.

I, um... I thought maybe
we could, uh, catch up.

I... Uh, okay.

Yeah, I mean, if I can sneak
away later from our skate party.

Things are a little crazy
around here right now.

Oh, really? I always thought NBN had

their sh*t together, unlike this asylum.

[CHUCKLES] No, we just
put up a really good front.

I'm sorry. I have to run.
I'm late for a Q and A

on legacy media in the
digital age. Good times.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, yeah, okay.
Well, I'll-I'll see you later.

- Maybe.
- [KNOCKS]

Hey, Bradley. Mia was
hoping you had a minute.

Oh, yeah. Sure.

Uh, yeah. Yeah. I understand.
Thank you. [SMACKS LIPS]

Hey, I wanna interview the train
conductor from the subway sh**ting.

- You good with that?
- Yeah, sure.

I have a slot for it on
Thursday after Awkwafina.

Have Layla chase it
while we're at Cory's.

Do I really have to go to this party?

It's gonna be fun. I mean,
we'll-we'll get tipsy.

- We'll talk sh*t about everybody.
- We can just do that here.

- [STAMMERING] I...
- Okay.

- Hey, are you going to the Hamptons?
- [CHRISTINA] Mm-hmm.

Pack snacks. It's a
long-ass drive. What's up?

There's been a bombing in
Mariupol. It's gonna be a big story.

The international news desk
won't send a correspondent.

Everybody is scared because of what
happened to that French news crew.

But if we can be the first
to break this, Bradley...

- What do you need?
- I need a fixer.

Someone who can at least
get my photographer in.

And since you were there in February,

- I thought maybe you might have someone.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I have this guy, Pavlo. He's, um...

His English isn't great,
but he's pretty reliable.

Thanks. I know this is a bit
off-book, but, um... [SIGHS]

Please. I'm tap dancing
for ad executives

while people are dying in Ukraine.

Let's do this.

How'd it go this morning? [SIGHS]

[SIGHS] Well, they were...

seem really excited about
the dog with superpowers show,

but meanwhile there's zero interest
in our Texas abortion documentary.

[MIA CHUCKLES] Yikes.

- [SIGHS] Oh, here he is.
- [PHONE DIALING]

- [PAVLO SPEAKING UKRAINIAN]
- Pavlo, uh, it's Bradley Jackson.

- Ugh.
- Yes, from UBA.

I'm here with my colleague, Mia Jordan.

[PAVLO SPEAKING UKRAINIAN]

[SIGHS] I'm sorry. Is there
someone who speaks English?

[PAVLO SPEAKING UKRAINIAN]

[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]

- [PAVLO SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
- [SPEAKING RUSSIAN]

[PAVLO SCOFFS, SPEAKING RUSSIAN]

[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]

- [PAVLO SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
- [SPEAKS RUSSIAN]

- Is that it?
- Mmm.

Uh, okay, bye.

- What? I... [CHUCKLES]
- Oh, right. My...

I did not know you spoke Russian.

My father was stationed in Berlin
in the ' s, and I-I studied Russian.

- It's a long story.
- That is wildly impressive.

And how come I didn't know?

- [SIGHS]
- Do you pull that out on dates?

What's a date?

[CHUCKLES]

He wants $ , . I'm calling André.

- [SIGHS]
- [PHONE DIALS]

[REPORTER, SPEAKING UKRAINIAN]

[PHONE RINGING]

- [PHONE CONTINUES RINGING]
- [SIGHS]

- Hello?
- Hey. How are you?

Hey.

Uh, you calling about
the hospital bombing?

Yeah, I got a guy who
can get you in Mariupol.

Fan-f*cking-tastic.
How soon can he be here?

Well, I can get you his
info as soon as we're off,

but I need you to
understand the risk here.

[ANDRÉ] Yeah, yeah. I
agree to all the terms...

- André, I'm serious.
- ... and conditions.

From what I'm hearing, it's a sh*t show.

So you are assuming all liability.

[MIA] Under no circumstances can you
say that you are working with UBA.

- I'll take it to the grave.
- But no body bags for you, okay?

Fine, I'll live. Just
please get me in there.

Okay. More soon. Bye.

- [BRADLEY CHUCKLES]
- What?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

- Stop, Bradley.
- [CHUCKLES]

Mmm.

[REED] Revenue's down % year to date.

That's a bil market cap, and
your credit ratios are in free fall.

Well, nah, it's really
more of a controlled dive.

We're gonna do a barrel roll.

Hit the thrusters. Climb
back up to , feet.

Ad revenue's % of your business.

We're willing to engage if
you can b*at last year's spend.

Given what's been going on at
UBA, that seems implausible.

Well, what is implausible is that

Men of the Ice Age averages .
million viewers in its fifth season.

They just discovered fire last week.

That ice storm lasted .
million years and so will we.

But to your point, my most
capable lieutenant, Stella Bak,

she's locking down ad
commitments as we speak.

- We will have the money. Trust me.
- [SCOFFS]

In this line of work, trust
is a euphemism for f*cked.

- [CORY CHUCKLES]
- But hey, happy to be surprised.

You let us know if you get there.

We'll be ready to underwrite the loan.

[SAHIL] In the meantime,
enjoy your party.

I heard you snagged
that stunner on West End.

Yeah, early pandemic buy. [CHUCKLES]

Good for you.

We should get a round
in at Maidstone sometime.

That sounds great.

Yeah, of all the anti-Semitic
clubs, that one's my favorite.

Well, some older members belong.

- [CHUCKLES] Mayflower Jews.
- [CHUCKLING]

See, this is the problem with
New America. It's the same menu.

- Petit filet. King salmon.
- No lobster tagliolini.

[CLICKS TONGUE] Aw.

Drew was really hoping
you'd take us to Carbone.

Carbone, seriously? Carbone
is where you take your wife.

[CHUCKLING] You get my wife to eat
anything even resembling a carb,

- and you can have my f*cking job.
- [CHUCKLING]

Good afternoon. I'm Erica. I'll
be taking care of you today.

- Mmm. Yeah.
- I feel better already.

Can I get you started on drinks
while you're looking at the menus?

- Yes, please.
- Yeah.

We will actually start with
an order of the Hamachi Crudo,

the yellowfin tuna tartare and,
ooh, the full caviar service.

And I will have a Grey Goose
martini. Dirty. Three olives.

- Two of those.
- [MOUTHING WORDS] Okay.

Stella?

Bombay Sapphire. Up, with a
twist. And keep 'em coming.

[CHUCKLES] Okay. Damn
the torpedoes, right?

- I like this woman.
- [ZACH] Yeah.

- I heard you guys could drink.
- [ZACH] I guess we'll find out.

- We sure will.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]

This'll be fun.

[ALEX] Hi.

Hi.

Did you hire some ex-Mossad
to stalk me or something?

Well, if by ex-Mossad you
mean my assistant, then yes.

- [SIGHS] Yeah. Cory send you?
- God, no.

Because if this is some
kind of elaborate ploy

to rope me back into the
fold, I am not interested.

Well, why don't you get
in the car and find out?

While I appreciate the ambush
apology, I do actually have plans.

Okay... [STAMMERS] ... the YDA...

Are you seriously going to
the YDA ice-skating thing?

[CHUCKLING]

[CHUCKLES] I swear, I'm not
stalking you. People talk.

Yeah, I know they do.

Especially when a $
billion deal is on the line.

Just get in the car. I have
a suborbital surprise for you.

[CHUCKLES] You are relentless.

You don't wanna show up to those
things while people are still sober.

All right, Levy. Let's see what you got.

- Oh, no. Who's that?
- Yeah, that's Howie, my security.

Well, can you tell Howie to stand down?

I mean, it's SoHo. You really
think I'm kidnapping you?

[CHUCKLES] Well, believe it or
not, it wouldn't be the first time.

Wow. Instantly just
got more interesting.

["WHAT CAN I SAY" PLAYING]

- [CORY] All right. How we doing?
- Great. Everything is pretty much set.

We're gonna have to move the raw bar.

I thought you wanted it
next to the cocktail tables.

Well, we can't have the
oysters languishing in the sun.

The sunset is at : ,
degrees Northwest.

Salmonella isn't sybaritic, Kendra.

- We're on it.
- Good.

Sixty minutes, people.
This is fun. Let's go!

[RESTAURANT CROWD CHATTERING]

Ooh, yes. Thank you.

So how do we know UBA+
isn't another CBN+ situation?

- It barely has any programming.
- [SCOFFS] What does CBN+ have?

Alex Unfiltered reached an
unprecedented number of households,

put UBA+ on the map, and
we've only grown from there.

- My wife subscribed for Alex.
- [ZACH] Mmm.

She made her book club
read Alex's memoir.

[ZACH] Mmm.

She has a lot of theories
about Alex's divorce.

Thought she should've
ended up with Chip Black.

Well, she's still America's sweetheart.

[ZACH] Didn't seem sweet
in Maggie Brener's book.

Maggie took her sh*t. No one
gave a sh*t. Where is she now?

- [CHUCKLES]
- Still. [SIGHS]

Some of our clients have
concerns about brand affinity.

It seems like every week
there's a new scandal.

But your wife, she's all in, right?

I think she likes the mess.

A lot of people do. Post-hack,
our web traffic increased %.

Scandals get clicks. That's an organic
migration from web to streaming.

Prying eyes became subscribers.

So I would lock this sh*t down
before the number gets any higher,

and we stop giving you a
friends-and-family discount.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Wow, I like you, Stella.
You're surprising.

But you see, I'm gonna need another
drink to think it over. So...

[SNAPS]

- Ah, yes.
- [DREW SIGHS]

- [ERICA] Another round? [SIGHS]
- You read my mind.

- [DREW SIGHS]
- Excuse me. Need the ladies'.

Hey.

I'd be eternally grateful if you
could bring water instead of gin.

These guys are impossible
to keep up with.

- No problem.
- Thanks.

I'm setting a -minute
timer, then I'm gone.

I'll swim back to
Manhattan if I have to.

Uh, you are not leaving me
alone in this palace of sadness.

It does kinda scream,

"Really, I'm fine being
single." [CHUCKLES]

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

[PARTY GUESTS CHATTERING]

- [BRADLEY] All right.
- Come on in.

Thanks.

Excuse me one second. Hi.

Hey. Your place looks great.

Oh, yeah. I made a few additions
since, uh, you were last here.

You mean the ad execs
don't come with the house?

That group of mouth breathers
in the vintage Men's Warehouse

could really use the Bradley
Jackson razzle-dazzle.

You wanna go say hi? Good. Thank you.

[SIGHS]

[MOUTHING WORDS] Hi.

I'm Bradley Jackson.

- Very nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet...

[ANNOUNCER] Next ride.
Welcome. [SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

The one and only Coney Island.

[PEOPLE LAUGHING, YELLING, SCREAMING]

So this place was called Astroland,

and the whole park had a space theme.

- Ah. I see.
- And I worked here

the summer before college.

Turned down an internship
at The New Yorker...

- [SMACKS LIPS] Ah.
- ... to salt margarita glasses.

Well, your parents
must've been so proud.

Oh. My father,

he said if he'd known he was
raising a cocktail waitress,

he would've never bothered
to teach me to read.

Huh. Well, is that what this is then?

Is this a-a walk down memory lane?

No, no. I act... I really
just wanted to apologize.

I'm so sorry I bailed on the launch.

- I was just so pissed.
- Right, so what was that about?

[STAMMERS] It had nothing
to do with you. Nothing.

Kinda felt like it had an
awful lot to do with me.

I know. I'm sorry. I just have such...

I have a very complicated
history with UBA.

Um, men trying to...

[STAMMERS] ... control my destiny.

And that is not on you.

And you were right when you
said we should take some time

to get to know each other,
and I screwed that up.

Well, that was back when
there was a deal on the table.

That ship has sailed.

Mmm. Well, ha... has it?

[SIGHS] I mean, you're here.

[CHUCKLES] Under duress.

[ALEX] Mmm.

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

["LOVE IS BACK" PLAYING]

Well, your suborbital
surprise awaits you, sir.

- [RIDERS SCREAMING]
- [PAUL] Really?

[CHUCKLES] Come on. Come on,
I owe you a ride. Let's go.

- Let's have some fun.
- I hate standing in lines.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, my goodness.
It's barely a line, moneybags.

Moneybags? Like you do
your own grocery shopping.

And you do yours?

- No, I have a farm.
- You do?

It's completely self-sustainable.

- Oh, what do you grow, Bitcoin?
- [CHUCKLES]

All right.

Strap in. Here we go. [GRUNTS]

Passed up a ride on my rocket for this?

Regrets, I've had a few.

[RIDERS SCREAMING]

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[GUEST] ... chambers and the senators

running for their lives. [CHUCKLES]

I actually... I didn't
see the Vice President.

I was in a different part
of the building, but...

Well, you're covering...
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] ... right?

You kinda know anything
new that's going on?

Well, there's different,
you know, things.

- Indictments, you know...
- So sorry to interrupt.

- [GUEST] Yeah.
- Oh.

Can I borrow Bradley for a minute?

[GUEST] Yeah. Of course. Of course.

- Hey. My daughter's a big fan.
- Thanks. Nice meeting you all.

Oh, my God. Thank you.

I could hear you dying inside.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, you better be careful or
we're gonna end up on Page Six.

[CHUCKLING]

I'm really surprised you came.

Well, you know, it beats
the YDA skate-athon.

- Audra, drunk, on ice is a lot.
- [SUCKS TEETH] Mmm. She's a lot.

And I wanted to see you.

[MIA] Laura.

- Mia.
- [MIA] Hey. How are you?

- Never better.
- [CHUCKLES]

Look at us, all together. Like
the early days of the pandemic.

- Oh, yeah. [CHUCKLES]
- Oh, my gosh.

Hey, how's André? Did
he make it to Mariupol?

I'm just waiting on word.

The hospital bombing? You have
André Ford working on that?

- [MIA] Yeah.
- He's incredible.

YDA is running something too?

We were supposed to
open with it tomorrow,

but at this point, who knows anything?

Well, I can't wait to see your coverage.

- [LAURA] Likewise.
- Okay.

- Okay, let me know.
- Okay. [CHUCKLES]

Oh, my God. [SIGHS] This
party's never gonna end.

Aw. Already burnt out
from your first upfronts?

I've had to endure this
for the past years.

Although, at least in
the ' s, you could smoke,

and cocaine couldn't k*ll you.

Ooh. I'm gonna need the details.
Maybe even pictures if you have them.

Oh, yeah. Well, it's shocking, isn't it?

You know, I wasn't always this boring.

Speaking of...

should we go and
explore the king's lair?

Uh... [STAMMERS] ... I don't know.

- No.
- Come on.

Hurry.

Our analytics team estimates that
two billion hours of UBA content

will be streamed by year-end.

That's an impressive number.

Hmm. What's impressive is
how high your tolerance is.

Especially for someone so petite.

[STAMMERS] What?

Yeah, Stella.

- How have you been keeping up with us?
- [STELLA] Oh, hey.

- Covid. S...
- [DREW] Let me s... Ah. [CHUCKLES]

No, it's fine. It's fine.

- Let me get that.
- No, leave it.

Actually, maybe you can
help us solve a debate.

Do you think that there's gin
in there, or is it just water?

You see, I think you
two have been working us.

I got to get to the Hamptons.
So, I'd love to lock in a rate.

She licks up that drink, and I'll
close at k per prime-time spot.

Guys, leave her out of this.

I'm serious.

You buy something for me,
I buy something for you.

Don't lowball me, Zach.

k per spot, best and final.

[SIGHS]

[ZACH] Okay.

$ , tip and everybody wins.

Run my card now, if you want.
I promise I'm good for it.

Oh, attagirl.

[ZACH CHUCKLING]

[CHUCKLING]

We have a deal.

You are an animal. [CHUCKLES]

I, uh... I can't take him anywhere.

[ZACH] That's a joke. She'll be fine.

I think we're done here.

["PAY YOUR WAY IN PAIN" PLAYING]

[BREATHING SHAKILY]

[SNIFFS]

_

_

_

[SIGHS]

- Oh, sh*t. [CHUCKLES]
- Oh, Chris, hello. You having a good time?

Yeah, just getting myself together.

Lots more suits to take selfies with.

Well, thank you for that.

It always helps for them to, uh...

to get to see the stars
up close, you know?

Speaking of which, congrats,
Mr. New Board Chairman.

[CHUCKLES] Thank you. Thank you.

Do you know, we-we haven't actually
had a chance to connect since, uh,

Cybil's departure, have we?

But I want you to know that
it's a whole new world at UBA.

Right. I keep hearing that.

Well, it's very important to us
that our ad partners hear that too.

Mmm.

Well, so with all this money that we're
pulling in this week for the network,

where's it going?

[STAMMERS]

What do you mean?

Is any of it being used to
address the pay equity issue?

Oh, have your l-lawyers not seen our

new contract proposal for your services?

- Yeah. Marcus is still looking that over.
- Well...

But I'm talking about people
who don't have lawyers.

Like Layla, my producer. Julia,
our stage manager. People like them.

Well... [CHUCKLES] ... I can assure you,

it is an absolute priority for us

to address that issue as an institution.

That is what, uh, Cybil said.
[CHUCKLES] Like verbatim.

R-Right. Hmm.

Since Jemima-gate, I
gained , followers.

Maybe I should ask them
what they think about this.

TV loves a focus group, right?

- [STAMMERS] Right.
- [CHUCKLES]

[STAMMERS] I'll tell
you what... [STAMMERS]

... it's a board meeting this week,
and I'm going to raise this issue.

- All right? Okay.
- Thanks.

Thank you. Mmm.

[CHUCKLES]

[STAMMERS] So, when you
say you were kidnapped,

do you mean like you
were kidnapped-kidnapped?

Yeah, well, sort of.

Uh, my stepfather pulled
me out of th grade

and put me in one of those
wilderness reform camps

where I was literally stuck in
a tent by myself for a month.

Oh, my God.

I thought you were gonna say
g*ns and cartel, not child abuse.

Yeah. I mean, I don't know.

Once I kinda figured out that
no one was really coming for me,

I kinda got into it.

No light pollution, no
people, being outside. Come on.

Wow. That sounds divine.

I would've loved that
during the pandemic.

Yeah. How about that?

What was it like having Covid
with a camera in your face?

Oh. [CHUCKLES] You watched that, huh?

Yeah. Yes, I did. Me
and the rest of America.

Huh.

- Mmm.
- What?

Marks, I wanna make a deal with you.

If I win this game,
you reengage with UBA.

Well, what happens if I win?

[SCOFFS] You're not gonna win, but...

- Really?
- Mmm.

Okay. Well, can you
explain something to me?

I don't understand why you are
fighting so hard for this place.

From where I stand, it looks like
you could do whatever you want.

You could go wherever you want.

You could write another book,
you could start your own shop.

And yet, here you are in Coney Island,

playing a pinball game
in order to save UBA.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Ugh.

- My turn.
- [GROANS]

I don't know. Maybe I think I
owe them something, you know?

Do you though?

Well, yeah. I'd like to
finish what I started.

We said we were gonna make a lot of
changes, and we are not there yet.

And you could be a part of all of that.

Well, I just b*at your score.

[SCOFFS]

Listen. Let's just enjoy the day, okay?

Okay.

Ooh. I think this might
be the primary suite.

- Do you think so?
- Well...

No pictures or anything.

Lots of character.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[LAURA] You seem better.

I am, yeah.

Uh, when you came to UBA
the other day, I was...

- Uh, I lost it.
- [SIGHS] That was brutal.

[BRADLEY GROANS] Yeah.

I wanted to ask, that
video never surfaced.

And God knows those hackers
posted everything else.

Yeah. I think Cory paid them to bury it.

Our cyber guys connected
with the hacker or hackers.

I don't really know.

Well... [CHUCKLES] ...
that was nice of him.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm reading that too.

Oof!

Extra, extra firm. Not a
lot of sex happening here.

I think that's his bed from the hotel.

What?

Yeah. I had that bed. But
different room, obviously.

Cory bought his bed
from the Archer Gray?

I think Mr. Ellison misses having
you just down the hall from him.

Laura.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

I just don't know why you
would say something like that.

Bradley, I meant nothing by it.

I think we should go
back downstairs. [SIGHS]

I don't want people wondering
where we are. [SIGHS]

Okay.

[SIGHS]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

I need a drink.

Oh, my God. Chris Hunter.

Okay. Hey, hey. Can I get your
autograph? Can I get a selfie?

- I won't post it, I promise.
- Who? Me?

The Rosa Parks of Legacy Media.

Oh, please. [STAMMERS]
You're in the back of the bus,

then I'm the illegal alien cleaning
the office at night. Please.

A tequila? Yeah? Okay.

- Uh, two sh*ts of tequila, please, friend.
- Coming right up.

[IN SPANISH] Para tokenización...
[IN ENGLISH] ... right here.

Come on. [CHUCKLES]

I just grilled Leonard about
how slow the company's moving

- on the pay equity issue.
- That's probably 'cause UBA's broke.

Yeah. I've never seen them go
all out like this, for reference.

- Really?
- Yeah. But hey, that's not your problem.

I mean, Leonard should be able to
walk and chew gum at the same time.

I did kinda lightweight thr*aten him.

The only thing these corporate
people understand is public pressure.

Oh, the followers. Right, yeah.

[STAMMERS] Careful with that.

- You don't want the tail wagging the dog.
- What do you mean?

- [BARTENDER] Your two sh*ts.
- Thanks, bud.

You know how social media can be.

Before you know it, they're a
mob making you their poster child.

Yeah, but I can mobilize them and
think for myself at the same time.

I know, all right?

Everybody does after
your interview with Cybil,

- but it's not about that, Chris.
- Hmm.

I just... I...

I don't wanna see you get dragged
into the culture wars, okay?

And believe me. I speak
from experience here.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Hmm.

I guess we'll see. Won't we?

[GUESTS CHATTERING]

- Oh.
- [CORY] ... in another country.

- Hey. I can barely hear you. Sorry.
- [ANDRÉ] Connection's shitty.

Might take a minute to
upload all of the footage.

I'm working off a BGAN.

- Where are they evacuating the wounded?
- A m*llitary hospital in Donetsk.

Russians are back to shelling
the sh*t out of this place.

- I'm gonna just stay put for the moment.
- Are you okay?

It... It looks really bad.

I'm below ground. I'm fine.

As long as you can get
those pictures out there.

Mia, the Russians.
It's not just a bombing.

[SIGHS] They're sh**ting
civilians in the street.

Jesus. Okay. Yeah. I-I hear you.

Um, if it's okay with you,

then I was thinking that I
would run these photos tonight.

Just don't do anything
until I'm outta here, okay?

[CHILD CRYING]

I gotta go. [SIGHS] This call's
gonna eat up too much bandwidth.

Okay. Let me know when you're safe.

- [PHONE BEEPS]
- André?

- [SIGHS]
- [PHONE DINGS]

Oh, my God.

Holy sh*t.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Ah. Excuse me one second.

Of course.

There she is. UBA's
assassin in athleisure wear.

You live in a f*cking terrarium.

[CHUCKLES]

Wow. Hey, yeah.

I guess they-they really... They
put you through the wringer, huh?

I don't wanna talk about it.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

[STAMMERS] Um.

Excuse me.

Stella,

you locked down the ad revenue,
which means we locked down the loan.

Which means , employees
get to keep their jobs,

their health insurance,
the roof over their heads.

We just gotta sign the paperwork now.

And UBA lives to fight another day.

[CHUCKLES, SNIFFS]

[SIGHS]

Who the f*ck invited Fred?

Excuse me.

[ALEX] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, okay.

We are not leaving without
getting one of these.

[PAUL] Little fried dough for the road?

- Yes, that's right. Oh, my God. Smell it.
- Smell better than they taste.

- Oh, my gosh. This is my hangover cure.
- What can I get you, darling?

I would love a funnel cake with
whipped cream and strawberries, please.

And I will do the Oreo Lovers.
Heart att*ck waiting to happen.

[ALEX CHUCKLES]

- I know who you are.
- [CHUCKLES]

Hi, nice to see you.

You're the cocktease.

- I'm sorry. Wha-What did you just say?
- She's a cocktease.

Mitch Kessler kills himself, and I
still gotta watch her on the news.

Wow, you're a real
ignorant piece of sh*t.

- You know that, guy?
- Let's just go.

You're just pissed 'cause
your girlfriend cries "r*pe."

No, no, no. I'm pissed because
you're being a f*cking prick.

I think what you meant to say is,

"Thank you." And you should apologize.

- You understand me? f*ck you!
- Stop it, please!

- Kidding me? Huh?
- f*ck you.

- f*ck you. f*ck me.
- Stop it.

- Enough.
- What are you f... [STAMMERS] ... crazy?

- You have to listen to that sh*t?
- No. Thank you, but...

[STAMMERS] ... you just cannot engage.

But doesn't that get to you
though? I mean, seriously.

Some assh*le like that can
say whatever the f*ck he wants,

and you just have to
sit there and take it?

[STAMMERS] It gets to me all the time.

But that guy, he's not mad at me.

He's mad at Mitch for not
being who he said he was.

And I'm the one still here, so yeah.

Strangers take a lot of sh*t out on me.

Whatever they can't say to
their girlfriends or their wives,

I'm the punching bag.

It's okay. It's part of the job.

Come on, let's get outta here. Let's go.

- [FRED] Good to see you, Mark.
- [MARK] Give my best to Genevieve.

All right, Mark. See
you later. [CHUCKLES]

Fred Micklen.

Crashing upfronts parties.

Oh. [STAMMERS] Retirement, right?
You got all that time on your hands.

You probably get... [SNIFFS]
... pretty restless over there.

You know, I hear Zen
gardens are very calming.

Nothing like a little meditative raking

to soothe the restless, jobless soul.

- [CHUCKLES]
- I missed you too, Cory.

Hey, congrats on the house.
I know the previous owner.

He's been trying to unload it for ages.

[LAUGHS] Gee, thanks.

Yeah. I-I probably shouldn't
have, but I decided to splurge.

You have to celebrate
the victories, you know?

I do. I do.

Though I hear Q revenue is down %.

You're cutting back on
programming for UBA+,

the, uh, incredible shrinking network.

Fred, are you digging through my
trash? You're so obsessed with me.

I told you a streamer
was a fool's errand.

You were late to the game, and
too many people wanted to play.

We were late because you sh*t down
the idea at every f*cking turn.

So, thanks for that.
Appreciate the help.

What are you doing at my house?

I don't know. I just love
seeing you shake your tin cup

for the spare nickel or two.

I mean, since your little bromance
with Paul Marks didn't pan out.

Does this look like we
are on the breadline?

[SIGHS] Breadline? Try debtor's prison.

That loan you got today,

Sloan asked me to keep an eye on
it since I know the lay of the land.

Off the books, of course.

Every major fiscal decision,
you're gonna be running by me.

I'm your sugar daddy, Cory.

You're gonna work for me. Again.

Well, as your sugar baby,

I'm looking forward to the
wining and dining. [CHUCKLES]

You'll be wearing golden
handcuffs when I f*ck you.

[CORY CHUCKLES]

I'll send the papers to your office.

Hey, just wanted to
give you a heads-up.

How are you doing?

Gayle says you wanna bump
the Macron piece for Mariupol.

Hospital bombing.

- [STELLA] Oh, my God. Are these verified?
- [MIA] Yeah, they are.

YDA's all over this story,
but these are exclusive to us.

- Great. So, let's run it tonight.
- Yeah, I told the photojournalist

that I'd wait until I got confirmation
that he was out of harm's way.

I haven't heard from him yet.

This is the guy who got us those
photos of Putin's inner circle, right?

- Yeah. André Ford.
- He's a freelancer.

So, he's assumed liability.
He's aware of the risk.

The press has been targeted.

These photos could
land him on a k*ll list.

[STAMMERS] I'm confused.

Y-You wanna hold a breaking exclusive?

Stella, a life is on the line.

That's a job.

He's doing it. So, you can do yours.

These images are important.

They can drive the conversation
about increasing aid to Ukraine.

But it's your call, of course.

Whatever you think.

I'm gonna wait a little longer.

- Here.
- Hey, thanks.

I'm sorry if I made you
uncomfortable earlier.

Oh, no. It's okay.

It's just confusing.

What is?

[SIGHS] Thinking about us.

Being with you.

I'm not asking for any of that.

It's just good to see you.

Oh, I know.

And part of me just wants
to run away with you...

- [CHUCKLES]
- ... and leave all of this behind.

And part of me remembers
how miserable I was.

But it's not the same.
Uh, we're not the same.

And you were going through so much.

I wanted to be close to you.

[BRADLEY SIGHS]

- Not seeing many ad buyers up here.
- I was just taking a little breather.

Well, you're still on the clock.

Okay... [CHUCKLES] ... boss. I
didn't realize I'd lost my time card.

Ah, you are being asked
to drink free champagne

and talk to the nice people
whose ads pay for your salary.

- It's really not that hard.
- [STAMMERS] Okay, okay.

Is there somebody you
would like me to meet?

Um, you know what? I should head out.

- You have a lovely home, Cory.
- Thanks for dropping by, Laura.

I'm really not asking that much

considering everything
I've done for you.

[SIGHS]

f*ck.

[SIGHS]

Hey, it's Mia.

I know it can take a while
to get to some place safe.

God knows the Russians are
doing everything they can

to knock out communications.

Anyway...

I just wanted to tell you I
hope you made it out of there.

Call me as soon as you can.

[INHALES SHARPLY, SIGHS]

Hey, Gayle, it's Mia.

Yeah, I... I know
everyone is standing by.

Run the photos.

No, I don't need to see the copy.

Okay, thank you, Gayle.

Good night.

[SIGHS]

[GRUNTS, SNIFFS]

Hey, you wanted to see me?

[CORY] Yeah, uh,

you know, the beautiful thing about the

human body is its capacity for survival.

You can lose % of your
blood. Still keep going.

After that you go into
hypovolemic shock...

[STAMMERS] Wait, hold on. What are
you... What are you talking about?

Didn't we just score, like, $ billion?

[SIGHS] So, Fred,

he dropped by to let me know
that he is working for Sloan,

consulting off the books.

And we take that loan, he owns us.

And then the Times, and then the
tabloids and Maggie f*cking Brener,

they'll find out that Fred
is still creeping around UBA.

And then they'll own us,
and we'll be done, and...

So, you know.

Okay. [SIGHS]

Maybe next time

do some due diligence before you
make me eat sh*t with Ellipse.

Sorry.

Yeah. [STAMMERS, SIGHS]
I should've known.

- They wanted me by the throat.
- Oh, my God. I don't f*cking believe this.

[CORY] Sorry, Stella. And hey.

I'm gonna find the funding.

Good luck with that.

[SIGHS]

["TRUTH HURTS" PLAYING]

[HELICOPTER APPROACHING]

[CHIP] Who the hell is that?

Ron Perlman lives next door.

He abuses his air rights.

Un-f*cking-believable.

Alex Levy brought home the k*ll.