03x05 - Tyra Banks/Blackstreet

[bunniefuu]

Minutes. The show starts in minutes.

--A box. What's inside?

Tell me.

Oh, just uh-- candy, kev.

Yeah, candy.

You mean like sour balls, boo boo bees,

Sucker pops?

Sour--sucker.exactly.

Out of my way.

[Hissing sound]

Oh. Oh!

Oh!

You really fell for that one, kev.

You see, you thought there was candy when...

But there was a rattlesnake inside, and you got bit.

You guys fooled me again.

We sure did.

How come I can't ever play a practical joke on anyone?

You can. It's easy.

Kevin, want us to help you play a practical joke on the girls?

Yes, I do.

All right, let me see now.

Hmm.

Squash.

Squash!

Stay right here. O.k.?

Wow! A giant squash.

That's right. Now get inside the squash.

I've never entered a squash before.

It ain't hard, man. Just get in.

All right, now when the girls come in,

You jump out and scare 'em.

All right. I'll do it.

Maybe I'll yell "boo!".

Perfect.

Now just be quiet until the girls come in, all right?

O.k. I'm in the squash.

Let's hide over here.

This is gonna be great.

Hah! A giant squash!

Aaahhhh!

Eeuuw!eeuw!

Mommy?

Let--let's go start the show.

Good idea.

Oh, we made it pulsate.

Fresh out the box.

Stop, look, and watch.

Ready yet? Get set.

It'sall that.

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪

♪ Check it, check it

♪ Now, this is just an introduction ♪

♪ Before we blow your mind ♪

♪ The show is all of that ♪

♪ And yes, we do it all the time ♪

♪ So sit your booty on the floor ♪

♪ Or in a chair

♪ On the ground or in the air ♪

♪ Just don't go nowhere

♪ 'Cause everything we do

♪ Is all of that

♪ We're entertaining you

♪ We're all of that

♪ My posse and my crew

♪ Is all of that

♪ So sit still

♪ 'Cause we're comin' right back ♪

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪

♪ Check it out

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪♪

Captioning made possible by nickelodeon and the u.s. Department of education

♪ I'm a dude, he's a dude ♪

♪ She's a dude, 'cause we're all dudes ♪

♪ Hey! I'm a dude...

Uh--excuse me.

Could you help me, please?

Oh. Welcome to good burger,

Home of the good burger. Can I take your order?

Yes, I think I'll have one good burger.

And I'll also have one uh-- hey, where did you go?

Number !

Number , your food's ready.

I'm number , me! Connie muldoon!

Hi, connie.

What in the name of spicy tooth eye is that?!

It's a soda.

No, booby, that!

I ordered a chicken sandwich,

But that chicken is alive and well!

No?

Well, yes it is.

Look, it's got feathers. Oh, it's clucking.

Oh, it's pecking my french fried potatoes!

Excuse me. Are you gonna help me or what?

I think he wants you to help him.

I shall not help him!

Well, the chicken's ready.

You're loopy! Loopy, I tell ya!

Oh!

Now, I must leave before my anger flares up!

Gangway!

Audience: woo!

Are you ready now?

Ready for what?

To take my order!

[Romantic music plays]

Listen, I didn't come around here to dilly dally.

You know? I'm a very wealthy and powerful man.

I think I'm in love.

I think I'm out of here.

She loves me. She loves me not.

She loves me.

She loves me not.

Hello!

She loves me.

She loves me! Oh!

Can I order, please?!

Welcome to good burger, home of the good burger.

Can I take your order?

Old man: excuse me!

I'm over here! I'm next in line!

Oh, sorry, you're gonna have to wait till your turn.

But it is my turn!

Excuse me. Can't you see I'm trying to fantasize here?

Old man: that's not--oy!

[Wedding music]

Oh, edward!

Oh, girl of my dreams.

Oh, edward!

Oh, girl of my dreams.

Oh, edward!

Who's edward anyway?

Edward is the longer version of ed.

Oh!

All my life I've been looking

For a fast food employee

That--doesn't know where ice comes from,

Who's easily confused by cartoons,

Who doesn't know his right hand from his left.

A man who said his first word at age .

And today, I think I found my man.

Ed.

I wrote you a poem.

Roses are red,

And violets are...

Another color,

Mustard is yellow, and...

I think you're a nice hunk of female.

Excuse me! Can I order?

I'm schvizzin' over here! Oy!

Can't you see we're getting wed?

So, where is the ring?

It's an onion.

I deep-fried it myself.

I really love it, ed, but it's kinda hot.

Oh.

Sorry.

So, girl of ed's dreams,

Do you take ed to be your husband?

I do.

And ed, what about you?

Count me in!

I now pronounce you ed and wife.

Mazel tov, ed! Congratulations!

I always knew you'd meet a nice--oy!

I've been sprayed!

So ed, now you can kiss the bride.

What's a bride?

She's the bride!

Well--whoa!

Oh! Yeah. Really?

I get to kiss her?

Yes, that's how it really works, ed.

Oh, I'm learning a lot in this fantasy.

What the-- who the...

Excuse me!

Hey, you're not my wife!

You're an ugly old man.

And you, young man, are a disgrace to fast food!

Oy, gavolt! I don't know why I come here.

Every time, it's the same thing.

Oh. Now we can finish what we started.

Audience: woo!

Wow!

Where did that come from?

Well, I thought we were married.

Don't you think you're rushing things a bit?

I mean, you're cute and all,

But can we at least go out on a date before we get married?

Oh, sure!

I know a place where we can get some burgers.

Hey, you're almost as pretty as I am.

And now, lori beth denberg with more vital information

For your everyday life.

A bird in the hand is worth in the bush.

A bird in your pants can be very uncomfortable.

It's rude to walk through the forest screaming,

"Me hate the trees! Me hate the trees!"

If your hamster glows in the dark,

Take him to school and yell,

"Bow down to me, for I have the gleaming hamster!"

This has been lori beth denberg with vital information.

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

[Whiny male voice] hi, everyone.

It's time forask ashley.

That's me!

Hi, I'm ashley,

And I'm here to answer your letters.

Our first letter comes from...

Tracey sullivan of yakima, washington,

Tracey writes...

"Dear ashley..."

That's me!

"Dear ashley,

"My mom always makes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

"With the peanut butter on the top and the jelly on the bottom,

"But I prefer the jelly on the top

"And the peanut butter on the bottom.

What should I do?"

Well, tracey, here's a little advice.

Turn the stinkin' sandwich over!

[Sarcastically] the peanut butter's on the top

And the jelly's on the...

Just turn the stinkin' sandwich over!

Man!

Our next letter comes from...

Benjamin tukas of shreveport, louisiana.

Ben writes...

"Dear ashley..."

That's me!

"Dear ashley,

"I really like to ride my bike.

"But when I'm riding, there always comes a time

"When I want to stop.

"Usually, I just plow into a parked car or brick wall,

"But this is starting to hurt.

Any ideas on how to stop my bike?"

Well, ben, here's a little advice.

Use the stinkin' brakes!

The brakes, benjy!

Or here's another idea.

Next time you wanna stop your stinkin' bike,

Why not drive it right into tracey sullivan from yakima, washington?!

She'll be the chick with the confused look on her face

Standing there holding up her stupid peanut butter and jelly sandwich

The wrong way!

Our next letter comes from...

Alex reed of melbourne, florida.

Alex writes...

"Dear ashley..."

That's me!

"Dear ashley,

"I really, really like a girl in my class named sarah.

"I've asked her out times

"And she always says "no".

What's the deal?"

Well, alex, here's the deal.

Come real close to the tv, alex.

Closer. Closer.

Closer.

Sarah don't like you!

Here's a plan.

Next time you want a date,

Why not call benjamin tukas and get a ride from him

On his ride-away bicycle

And then head on over to yakima and ask out tracey sullivan

With the upside down sandwich!

It's a sure bet she's got nothing to do on the weekend

Except figure out how to flip her stinkin' peanut butter sandwich!

Well, that's all the advice I have for you today.

Bye-bye, everybody.

♪ This is all that ♪♪

Today, we're going to talk about world w*r .

Now, we all know that the w*r started

When the prussians att*cked a cheeseball factory

In northern tennessee.

[Banging sound]

Good heavens! What was that?

A horse?

Oh, nonsense! What would a horse be doing in school?

[Western music]

Howdy, class! Miss fingerly.

And who might you be, stranger?

Yee ha!

Yee ha?

Well, there's no yee ha in my roll book.

Name's dusty pants, ma'am,

And I come here for a little book learnin'.

I was never informed I was to receive

A new cowboy student.

I guess you might say I'm just passin' through.

Oh. And who is that?

Oh, that there? That's my horse, pile dropper.

Go get yourself some water, pile dropper!

Giddyup!

Well, dusty, I suppose you should just take a seat.

And try not to make too much cowboy noise.

All right, ma'am.

Here's your textbook. You can put your name in it.

Yes'm.

[Grilling sound]

Now y'all folks around these parts

Will know this here book's property of dusty pants.

Yes. It looks "brand new". Hee hee hee.

Uh--ma'am?

Uh--was that supposed to be a joke?

Now back to our discussion of world w*r .

Now, when the prussians dropped their cheese sticking missiles on tennessee,

The martians responded with their pretty pink laser beams.

[Wolf cry]

Heavens to dusty! What are you doing?

♪ Well

♪ I'm just a cowboy named dusty pants ♪

♪ I like ropin' cattle and teachin' 'em to dance ♪

Stop! Stop the song singing.

Just what do you think you're a'doin'?

Ma'am, I'm just cookin' some beans

And doing a little guitar strummin'.

Well, quit it! The classroom is no place

For bean cookin' and guitar strummin'!

But that's what we do in the cowboy world, ma'am.

Well, it's not what we do in the fingerly world!

Now, sit your cowboy butt down!

The classroom is no place to express your individuality.

Aw, shucks.

Aw, shucks you!

Now it's time for your oral reports

On why world w*r was helpful to the cocktail wienie industry.

Who would like to go first?

I will! I will!

Oh, all right, claire.

World w*r and cocktail wienies.

One day the russians invited the lebanese over for dinner.

But the russians ran out of those little cocktail wienies.

What the...

Come here, woman.

Howdy, little lady.

You sure are purty.

I sure was enjoying that talk you were giving

About them there-- there wieners.

I'd be mighty proud if you'd be my gal.

Well...

Hit it, boys!

Come on, darlin', -step with me.

Oh, but I don't know how to -step.

I do! Dance with me, cowboy!

Well, all righty, miss fingerly!

Let's go. Dance with me.

Festus, hit me with some of that

Ol' foggy nob grassy fiddle funk!

Whoo!

Yee ha!

Whoo!

Oh, no!

Oh, my! Conflict!

My name is nasty nancy.

Ow!

Nasty nancy?

You'd be nasty, too,

Iffin' you was a cowboy named...

Nancy.

Fair enough.

Just what do you think you're doing here, nasty nancy?

I come for you, dusty pants.

This classroom ain't near big enough for the both of us.

Why, sure it is, nancy.

You can have a seat right over there by brian.

Hush up!

I'm calling you out, dusty.

I'm gonna count to . Ssss!

Then I'm gonna squirt ya.

Aaahhh!

Oh, no! Nancy's going to moisten dusty!

A'one.

[Dramatic background music]

A'.

Wait'um!

Who are you?

Why, if it isn't my good friend and sidekick,

Chief jerky.

Me chief jerky.

Hmm! Me miss fingerly!

May I help you, chief jerky?

Mm.

I gottem' heap big note

For dusty pants.

Dusty pants, you've been excused from class.

It seems your horse, pile dropper, has a dental appointment.

Well, I guess we're gonna have to settle this another time, nasty nancy.

You lucked out this time, dusty.

Next time, you might not be so lucky.

Well, I reckon I better be gettin' outta here, clara.

You comin' with me?

Whatever.

Fingerly.

Oh! Hee hee hee!

What do we do now, miss fingerly?

Words, free beans!

All that proudly presents

Life with peter and flem.

When peter gets a wound,

He puts on a clean bandage.

Flem uses his wounds as chip dip.

On the way home from school,

Peter found a shiny new penny.

Flem found a hobo.

Hey, clavis! Wake up.

The show's over.

Oh, yeah. Kick it!