04x01 - Mase

[bunniefuu]

Hey, guys, we got more fan mail.

Oh, good!

Cool.

Put it on the table. Come on.

Hurry up.

Look at all that fan mail!

I'll read one, guys.

Here we go.

Excuse me.

"Dear all that cast,

"I just love your show.

"And not just because it's funny.

"I love all that because all you kids on the show

"Seem so nice.

"In fact, you guys are the nicest people

I've ever seen on television."

Aw!

"Signed your biggest fan, danny tamberelli."

Oh! What a nice letter!

We are nice, aren't we?

I know I'm nice.

We should do something nice for danny tamberelli.

Yeah, but what?

I know. Let's go visit danny tamberelli.

No! No can do.

It says here that danny tamberelli's from nebraska.

That's too far to visit.

The show starts in minutes,

Minutes.

So? We'll hurry. Come on.

Come on, kevin.

No.

I got the corn.

We're going to nebraska!

[Everyone singing the all that song]

Boy, I can't wait for all that to start.

How about you, christy?

You know it, danny.

All that is my favorite show ever.

Oh, my god!

You're the cast of all that!

Oh, it is so nice of you guys to come and visit me.

Well, in your letter you said how nice we are.

So, we had to come here and prove it by saying "thanks".

All: thanks!

That is so nice!

Who's the chick?

This is my friend, christy.

She loves all that, too!

Well then, we love christy!

Yes, we do.

Guys, can I fly back to hollywood with you

And watch you do the show live?

No problem.

Yes!

Actually, in fact, kenan, I think we could do better than that.

What?

Danny tamberelli, how would you like

To fly out to hollywood and join the cast of all that permanently?

Oh! Do you mean I could be a regular on the show every week?

Sure! Come join the cast!

Yeah!

Wait, wait.

Can christy join the cast, too?

Yes! Sure!

In the house.

All right, all right. You're on tv.

O.k. Enough hugging.

The show starts in...

I know, I know, minutes, minutes!

Oh!

[Singing all that song]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, hey!

I want you to meet our new cast members,

Danny tamberelli!

[Applause]

Right, right, right,

And christy knowings!

All right, all right, enough clapping!

We've gotta start the show.

Hey, hey! Hey, wait up.

Uh--yes?

Uh--my name's leon.

Yes, leon?

If you're just gonna let them kids

Join the cast of all that,

How about letting me join, too?

You know, help a brother out.

Sure, yeah. Come on down!

Clap for leon, everybody!

Enough new cast members!

Start the show!

Let's go, you guys!

Fresh out the box.

Stop, look, and watch.

Ready yet? Get set.

It's all that.

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Uh-oh ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ Check it, check it ♪

♪ Now, this is just an introduction ♪

♪ Before we blow your mind ♪

♪ The show is all of that ♪

♪ And yes, we do it all the time ♪

♪ So sit your booty on the floor ♪

♪ Or in a chair ♪

♪ On the ground or in the air ♪

♪ Just don't go nowhere ♪

♪ 'Cause everything we do ♪

♪ Is all of that ♪

♪ We're entertaining you ♪

♪ We're all of that ♪

♪ My posse and my crew ♪

♪ Is all of that ♪

♪ So sit still ♪

♪ 'Cause we're comin' right back ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Uh-oh ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ Check it out ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Uh-oh ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪♪

Captioning made possible by nickelodeon and u.s. Department of education

A-a-all right n-n-now, duane.

N-n-now, you just get on in your bed,

And I'm gonna tell you a bedtime story before you go

Nnnn-night-night tonight.

No, just tuck me in and be on your way.

Well, a-a-all right.

Daddy'll just tuck you in. Tuck, tuck, tuck.

Tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck.

Ow!

What's going on, son?

My tooth came out.

Whoa!

Boy, that's a fine, fine tooth!

Aw, you make your daddy, make your daddy proud.

Oh, w-w-we're just gonna put it

Behind the fffluff pillow,

A-a-a-a-and--

Thank you, son.

N-now, we're just gonna p-put it behind your fluff pillow,

A-a-a-nd the tooth fairy will bring you a fine reward.

Man, do I look like some kind of chump?

There's no such thing as a tooth fairy.

All right, w-w-well, maybe you're right.

I-i-i'll go ahead and go to the bathroom.

Your mom put prune juice in the chitlins and...

I'm gonna go do my thing.

Good night, duane! Oh!

The tooth fairy. Yeah, right.

Tch! Why couldn't this kid live on the first floor?

Thanks, brutus! Thanks for the ride.

[Meow!]

Shh!

All righty.

Let's see what's going on here. Oh!

Whoo! I'm getting too old for this.

O.k.

All right, mr. Man, stay sleeping.

I'm gonna do my little spell.

Here we go.

All right, now I'm just gonna get your little tooth here.

Ow, you little--

Ahhhh!

You picked the wrong house to rob!

I'll b*at your punk head like a drum!

Now, wait just a minute, toughie boy!

I'm just a squirrel trying to get a nut.

You're making a big mistake.

Look, mister, you'd better drag yourself back out that window

Before I knock you silly!

Well, silly is as silly does.

Get it? Silly?

What the heck is that supposed to mean?

Do you know who I am?

I'm calling the cops.

I just happen to be the tooth fairy.

The tooth fairy?

I thought there was no such thing as the tooth fairy.

Well, you thought wrong, didn't you, cowboy?

Just take your quarter, give me the tooth,

And I'll be on my fairy way. Tch!

A quarter?

Mm-hmm.

What am I supposed to do with a quarter,

Buy myself a grape?

Now just lookee here, mr. Feisty mcneisty!

Some children are happy just to get a nickel.

Yeah, stupid children.

We're talking about my tooth here.

My pain is worth a lot more than cents,

You mutated pink mosquito!

Mosquito?

Well.

What else you got in that bag?

Nothing.

Hah! That's my sack you snatched, mister!

Come back here!

Hoo-whee! You got a whole bunch of quarters up in here!

Excuse me, but those quarters happen to belong

To all the toothless children of the world, mister.

Well, now they belong to me!

Now, get outta here, you crazy-looking flying kook!

Oh, he didn't just call me no crazy-looking flying kook.

I have never been so insulted in all my fairy years.

Get used to it!

Look, why don't you just give the tooth fairy

Back his quarter coins? Come on.

No!

All right! That does it up!

You wanna keep those quarters?

Fine.

Uh--hey, uh-- what are those?

Pliers.

Pliers?!

Yeah, the tooth fairy's

Gonna have to get some more teeth.

Hey, hey, hey! Wait up!

Maybe we can discuss this!

Oh, no. Ain't gonna be no discussion.

You're about to believe in the tooth fairy, scrappy man!

Come here!

And now, lori beth denberg with more vital information

For your everyday life.

It's better to give than to receive.

Especially if you receive garbage.

When you're finished watching a videotape, press rewind.

When you're finished eating pounds of ham,

Press puke.

And this from nick on-line.

If your grandpa is in the shower,

Don't say, "hurry up! It's not naked time for you!"

This has been lori beth denberg

With vital information.

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪♪

My name is spew!

I like kung fu!

I got no i.q.

Girls: aaahhhh!

Back, back, demons!

Spew!

What's wrong with you?

Did you not see me fighting off all the screaming birds?

Yeah! That was cool!

You're a loon, you know that?

Thanks, dude.

Let's just get on with it.

With what?

With what? With what?

The auditions.

The auditions, you twit.

Remember?

Rash quit the band.

We got no bloody bass player.

Don't you remember?

Sorry. Sometimes my brain leaks.

Well, plug it up.

Jennifer, send in the first bass player, please.

Yes, mr. Maggot.

[Western accent] howdy, I'm here to audition for the band, bacteria.

All right. Well then, let's hear you play.

All right.

You wanna see what I got.

All right. Now, I'm ready.

Ready for what?

What do you think I'm ready for?

I'm ready to play my fish!

Your fish?

Your fish?

Girlie, this is a rock 'n' roll band!

We need no fish player!

You can't fool me.

Right here, in this flier it says

Your band, bacteria,

Is looking for a "bass" player,

And that's what this is.

"Bass!" "Base!"

A bass, you bloody nut!

Get your fish outta here!

Do you believe that?

I wanted to hear the girl play the fishy.

Oh, be quiet!

Send in the next musician.

[English accent] hello, there. I'm here to audition for the band.

Dude, she's a little girl!

Excuse me,

Do you know that you're a little girl?

Indeed. Shall we commence with the audition?

Girlie, how can maggot put this as nicely as possible?

We are bac-bloody-teria!

We are a rock 'n' bloody roll band!

We play loud rock 'n' roll music!

How loud?!

Oh, I'll show you.

Come here. This is mine.

Sassin' maggot. Excuse me.

Are you ready?

Spew!

Hit it!

Wait. Exactly how loud will this...

Oh, my!

[Horn honking outside]

[Car screeching and big bumping sound]

That was rad!

Oh, be quiet!

Send in the next musician.

Hello.

Wha!

Right, right.

Excuse me. Before we start,

Can you even play the bass?

Wha!

I like him!

Dude, be quiet. Please.

What's your name, boy?

Wha!

"Wha", right.

I got it.

That's spew. I'm maggot!

Wha.

Wha. Sure.

All right. Let's see what you got.

Count it, spew!

, , !

[Shouting incomprehensible lyrics]

Yes, wha! That was rad. You're hired, dude.

Wha!

♪ Beautiful dreamer ♪

♪ Awaken to me ♪

♪ Starlights and dewdrops are waiting for thee ♪

♪ Songs of a rude world heard in the day ♪

♪ Long by the moonlight have all passed away ♪♪

[Humming]

♪ This is all that ♪♪

[Man's whining voice] hi, everyone!

It's time for ask ashley.

That's me!

I'm ashley, and I'm here to answer your letters.

Our first letter comes from...

Margie ferber of billings, montana.

Margie writes...

"Dear ashley..."

That's me!

"Dear ashley,

"I have bad breath. I mean, really bad breath.

"Last week, I breathed on my little brother,

And he's still in the hospital."

"My breath is so bad

"The other kids at school voted me

The girl with very, very bad breath."

"What should I do?"

Hmm. Tough one.

But I do have a little suggestion

That might help you with the bad breath.

Brush your stinkin' teeth!

O.k.?!

Try using a toothbrush, garbage mouth!

And next time, don't write me another stinkin' letter

Until you scrape the fungus off your nasty, stinkin' teeth!

Man!

Our next letter comes from...

Jesse loomis of portland, oregon.

Jesse writes...

"Dear ashley..."

That's me!

"Dear ashley,

"I'm hungry-- very, very hungry.

"I'm so hungry, I can barely stand up.

"I feel weak and tired because I haven't eaten in days.

"Oh, ashley, what can I do

To stop being so very hungry?"

Well, jesse, I'm not positive this'll work,

But why don't you...

Have a stinkin' sandwich?!

A sandwich, hungry boy!

And if you can't find a sandwich,

Why don't you head on over to margie "stink breath" ferber's house

In billings, montana

And eat her stinkin' brain?!

'Cause she sure ain't using it!

Man!

[Cheers and applause]

Our final letter comes from...

Nicole le pue of paris, france.

Nicole writes...

"Dear ashley..."

That's me!

"Dear ashley,"

[Speaking in french]

Nice letter. Really, really good.

But here's an idea.

Speak stinkin' english!

I mean, what kind of french-fried kumquat

Writes to an american tv show in stinkin' french?!

Do I look like pierre escargot?!

Do you see me in a stinkin' bathtub?!

Ooh! My name is nicole,

And I'm a french blah-dee blah-dee blah-dee

Blah!!

Tell you what, nicole!

Got some free time? Good!

Why don't you get on a plane,

Fly to billings, montana,

And give margie ferber a french toothbrush

And then keep on flying to portland, oregon

To feed hungry old jesse loomis

A big stinkin' bag of hot, stinkin' french fries!

Man!

Well, that's all the time I have for you today.

Good-bye, everybody.

Hey, clavis! Wake up.

The show's over.

Oh, yeah. Kick it!