04x07 - Immature

[bunniefuu]

[Laughter]

Phew! Hey, y'all.

Y'all mind if I turn on the radio?

No, go ahead.

Radio: emergency! Emergency!

Get your heads close to the radio and listen.

A large, dangerous meteor is headed towards the earth.

Meteor? What's a meteor?

Meteor, meteor, meteor.

Here it is, meteor. A meteor is a huge, big old rock

In outer space.

That's right. And this meteor happens to be zooming

Directly toward the green room

Of the television program all that.

Did y'all hear that?!

They said there's a meteor headed right for this room.

That's awful, and coincidental.

I hope that no cast members happen to be in the green room

When this meteor hits, 'cause they'll be crushed!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, man! There's a meteor heading right for us!

I wonder how long we have until it hits us.

Attention. Attention all cast members.

The meteor will destroy us all in minutes... Minutes.

Oh, dear.

Minutes! Oh, man! I'm too young and pretty

To be crushed and mutilated by an old meteor.

No! You don't know.

I was in the trenches fighting vampires.

Snap! Twist! You ain't gonna bite me--

All right!

[Clang]

I'm cool.

All right. All right, everyone.

We have exactly minutes and seconds

To come up with a plan.

Guys, guys. They said the meteor was heading

Right for this green room, right?

And?

So then why don't we just leave the green room?

Get out!

You know what, danny?

That's just like you!

You're always looking for the easy way out.

Jerk!

Now, guys, come on, let's not fight.

We gotta think. We gotta think with our heads.

Yes!

Oh, man, it's no use!

We're doomed! We are doomed!

We're gonna all be whacked

By a giant meteor.

I guess...well, I guess this is good-bye.

[Kids sobbing]

Good-bye, big ear of corn.

I think--i think I'll miss you most of all.

[Sobbing]

Seconds. The meteor's gonna destroy us all in seconds.

............[Whistling]

.

[All cry out]

Whoa. Well, we're safe.

Yeah. The meteor bypassed us completely

And just hit kevin.

[Laughter]

Come on, loved ones.

Let's go start the show.

All right!

Fresh out the box.

Stop, look, and watch.

Ready yet? Get set.

It's all that.

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ Check it, check it

♪ Now, this is just an introduction ♪

♪ Before we blow your mind ♪

♪ The show is all of that ♪

♪ And yes, we do it all the time ♪

♪ So sit your booty on the floor ♪

♪ Or in a chair

♪ On the ground or in the air ♪

♪ Just don't go nowhere

♪ 'Cause everything we do

♪ Is all of that

♪ We're entertaining you

♪ We're all of that

♪ My posse and my crew

♪ Is all of that

♪ So sit still

♪ 'Cause we're comin' right back ♪

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ Check it out

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪♪

Captioning made possible by nickelodeon

And the u.s. Department of education

So did you guys hear?

Miss fingerly's not gonna be in school today.

Get outta town! Where's miss fingerly?

She fell down a flight of stairs

And broke her liver or something.

Get outta town again!

So who's gonna teach us history?

Warriors!

The master player!

I'm coach kreeton, and I'm here to teach you little brat chilen

A thing or about history!

History, 'cause you're gonna be history!

Now sit in your seats...

And get ready to suffer.

Come on! Hop to it!

[Whistle]

Aw, come on, furry hat,

Wearing it in the summer!

All right. Let's do it!

Coach kreeton hates children's guts!

Coach kreeton, may I ask a question?

Noooooooo!

Aaaaaggggghhhhhh!

Ow! You ate the corn chips!

Smellin' like bus seats.

Smellin' like bus seats!

All right!

Oh! Now, I'm gonna teach y'all a little something

About my sad, wasted life.

Now, coach kreeton was born in a garbage can, and...

Coach kreeton?what do you want?!

Miss fingerly was gonna teach us

About the leprechaun m*ssacre today.

Miss fingerly was gonna teach us

About the leprechaun m*ssacre today.

Well, ask me if I care.

Go ahead, boy, ask me if I care! Ask me if I care!

Do you care?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Let me see.

Nooooooooo!

Check this out.

Whoa! What is that?

Who has the audacity to talk

When coach kreeton is teaching, huh?

Sorry, coach kreeton. It was me.

It was you, huh?

Well, slow down there, speenie weenie.

All right, now tell me what's in your book...

Pack!

Bag!

Sack!

Show me the goodies.

Come on, show me the goodies. Come on!

Come on, come on!

Oh, ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, well, ladi-dee ladi-da.

A little dolly doll doll dolly doll!

Give it to me!

Awwwwww! A little boy playing

With a dolly doll!

Does the little sissy toy have a name?

Yes. His name is coach kreeton!

What'd you say?! What'd you say?!

This doll don't look like coach kreeton!

Look, it's got a tooth missing, got a bald head!

Looks like bozo comes to the ghetto!

No, it don't look like me, all right?

Don't look like coach kreeton.

Sure it does.

And this happens to be a hoodoo doll!

A hoodoo doll! What's that?

A hoodoo doll's a doll that looks like someone,

And whatever you do to the doll,

That's what happens to the person it looks like.

Oh! Expositional yet interesting.

Hoodoo smoodoo!

There ain't no such thing

As a hoodoo doo doo doll!

There is too such a thing as a hoodoo doll! Watch!

Ow! Oh, please. No...

Ooooowwwwwwwwww!

Oooooowwwwwww!

That ain't right, that ain't right! Come on!

No!

Ow! You're wrong, you're wrong! Ow!

See?

No, that was just a coinci-de-dence.

No, it wasn't. This is a real hoodoo doll. Check it!

Don't do that to me!

Owooowwww! Don't!

Ow, my walking foot! My walking foot!

Now do you believe me?

No-ninny-no-ne-no-no!

Now give me that doll!

Uh-uh.

Give me that doll!

You better...ow! Give me that doll!

Oh! Oh, my head is pain, hurting!

You know, coach kreeton, I think what you need

Is some cheering up.

I'll tickle you.

No, you ain't gonna be tickling coach kreeton! Aw, make me laugh!

Make me laugh. Wait a minute!

Hold up, hold up!

Way above the ball!

Will you stop that manipu-- manipulation!

Stop it. Give me that doll!

Back!

Aaaggggghhhhhh!

Give me that doll! Give me that doll!

Go away!stop it!

Ow! Stop it! Ow! Stop it!

Stay away!

Stop it!

Yeah, yeah! I got you!

Where's willis now, huh?!

Where's willis now?

Yeah!

Ow! Ow! Yeah.

Got it.

[All groan]

Don't you all go owwwwwwwwww!

Now...i'm gonna get rid of this doll...

Phew!

Once and for all.

Yeah.

Ow!

Ow!

I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go!

You can't make me! You can't make me!

You can't make me go!

No! I wanna live! Mama, I wanna live!

I wanna live!

[Car tires squealing]

[Thud]

Oh, the life I live is sad.

And now, lori beth denberg with more vital information

For your everyday life.

It's nice to help your mom clean the kitchen.

It's not nice to hit foreign people over the head

With farm animals.

Stupid is as stupid does.

So if you're stupid,

Then so are the stupid things you does.

To whistle, simply pucker your lips and blow thusly.

[Whistles]

To break this porcelain monkey, hit it with a mallet.

This has been lori beth denberg with vital information.

Tater!

Yes, naner. What'd you want?

Wanda and angus better get home quick!

Supper gonna be ready pretty soon.

Supper! Supper!

Boy, I just love supper.

What you makin' for supper, naner?

Your favorite. Butter and gravy!

Butter and gravy!

Oh, my! I just love butter and gravy.

You know, the only thing

I like better than butter and gravy is buses.

I'm reading a book about it right now.

Bus, bus, bus...

Tater, cut that howl!

Yes, naner.

[Buzzer]

Oh, my goodness.

Somebody's at tater's door.

Answer it!

I'm going.

Why, hello.

Hey, how're you doing there?

I'm the cable man. I'm here to install your cable.

Cable, cable! Naner, you hear that?

We gonna get us some cable!

Who gives a rat's butt?

Hey, you want some butter and gravy?

No. No, I don't.

I just better start your cable.

O.k. Well, come on in.

Welcome to our trailer. It's your trailer.

Well, it's very nice, but can I ask you something?

Mm-hmm.

What is with the tree, man?

Ho ho! That tree blew in here last tornader.

Yeah. It blew right down clean through the wall.

We kind of like it.

Cockroach!

There's a danged cockroach in my blender!

Why don't you k*ll it already!

Fine.

[Clang]

How you like that, mr. Cockroach?!

Tell your friends!

Hey, mr. Cable guy.

You can install the cable

Right under that bus fixture right there.

Oh, what you talking about?

You started it!

Hey!

How in the heck do you expect me

To cook up butter and gravy with you're danged hollering?!

Now, children, what seem to be the fuss about?

She said I was dumb.

No, I said you were stupid!

Ain't no difference.

Now, children, hush.

You are both dumb and stupid.

Told you.

Spit licker!

Hey! Hey. Oh, my, wanda.

Don't you dare call your brother a spit licker.

I'm sorry, daddy.

O.k.

Naner, I'm thirsty. Give me a root beer.

Here's your dang root beer!

Hey, you want a root beer, mr. Cable man?

Want me to chuck it?

No, no, that's o.k., Man.

I'm gonna start on your cables.

See, there's your cable outlet right there.

You hear that, wanda?

We got some cable television!

Pick your brother up off the floor.

Hey, naner! We gonna watch us some cable.

Come on, boy, hurry up.

What you been eatin'?

I told you to lay off the beets, boy.

Sit down, please.

Now, gather round, family, come on.

We're gonna watch us some cable.

Boy, I sure hope there is a bus channel. I love buses, you know.

I love buses too, daddy.

Who doesn't?

[Buzzer]

There's somebody at the door, daddy.

Answer it!

Hey, come on in, cousin. Hello.

Jupiter!

Come on, family. Now, let's gather around.

Good to see you.

Gather around. We're gonna watch us

Some cable television.

What's the point of this?

This show's no good at all.

Cable bats beans!

I don't see no bus channel.

First of all, there is no bus channel, man, o.k.?

Second of all, how're you gonna watch cable tv with no tv, man?

You gotta hook a tv to the cable outlet.

How're you watch gonna tv with no tv?

You can't have a cable with...

[Sirens blare]

You better stay in the trailer, mr. Cable man.

Hey, what's those sirens mean, man?

It means...

All: tornader!

Jupiter!

Toronado! A toronado?

You know, the only thing I like

More than tornaders is buses.

Whoo!

I'll open the windows!

And now, all that presents a semieducational moment.

Everyday french with pierre escargot.

Whoo!

[Speaking french]

Whoo!

[Speaking french]

[Speaking french]

Hi, everyone.

It's time for ask ashley.

That's me.

I'm ashley, and I'm here to answer your letters.

Our first letter comes

From burton nemsch of las vegas, nevada.

Burton writes, "dear ashley..."

That's me.

"Dear ashley, I really love hot chocolate.

"But every time I try to drink hot chocolate,

"It always drips through my fingers.

"I can barely hold it in my hands,

And it burns too. What should I do?"

Burton, here's a little advice.

Use a stinking cup!

A cup, you cocoa-headed freak!

I mean, what kind of beverage-drinking weirdo

Pours scalding-hot liquid

Into his bare stinking hands?

Man!

Our next letter comes from

Willie kumber of mill valley, california.

Willie writes, "dear ashley..."

That's me.

"Dear ashley, I've been holding my breath for a real long time.

"My face is turning blue,

"And I'm starting to feel all dizzy.

"I think I might faint.

Could you please give me some advice quickly?"

Well, willie, I think I know how to solve

Your lack of air problem.

Take a stinking breath!

Breathe, moron!

And when you finally decide to open your stinking mouth,

Fly on over to las vegas

And blow on burton nemsch's hot cocoa-filled hands!

Man!

Our next letter comes from...

[Knock at door]

Um...come in.

You ashley?

Yeah. Can I help you?

I wrote you this letter.

"Dear ashley..."

That's me.

Uh, yeah.

"My name is robert freeman."

That's me.

"I wrote you a letter,

"But I couldn't figure out how to get it to you.

"I put a stamp on it, but it just sat there

"On my desk for weeks and weeks.

"Finally I just picked it up

"And started walking to your house.

"I walked through the desert,

"Climbed over mountains, and swam across the ocean.

"Now I'm confused and tired.

Is there an easier way to get you a letter? Please help." Well?

Robert, let me see this letter.

O.k., Here's a little advice.

Next time...

[Whack]

Use the stinking mail!

The mail, you big piece of stupid!

Duh! I'm robert, and I'm idiot boy.

And I walked across the country.

Blah blah blah blah!

Hey, why don't you put a stamp

On your brainless head,

And mail yourself to mill valley, california,

And you can watch willie kumber

Hold his stinking breath until he passes out!

And then you can drag the unconscious twit

To las vegas, nevada,

Where you two can share some steaming-hot cocoa

Out of burton nemsch's hot stinking hands!

Man!

And one last thing...

Get out of my stinking room!

Man!

Well, that's all the advice I have for you today.

Bye-bye, everybody.

! The show's over.

Oh, yeah! Kick it!