04x06 - Natural Born Kenan

[bunniefuu]

- Oh, here it goes.

[Upbeat hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

♪ Everybody out there
go run and tell ♪

♪ Your homeboys and homegirls
it'’s time for kenan & kel ♪

♪ They keep you laughing
in the afternoons ♪

♪ So don'’t touch that dial
or leave the room ♪

♪ '’Cause they'’re always
into something fun ♪

♪ And you don'’t wanna miss it ♪

♪ It'’s double "k,"
like two the good greatness ♪

♪ Kenan and kel,
or should I say kel and kenan ♪

♪ And you gotta watch kenan
'’cause kenan be scheming ♪

♪ With a plan or a plot
to make it to the top ♪

♪ But they kinda in the middle ♪

♪ '’Cause they'’re always
gettin'’ caught ♪

♪ This ain'’t the hardy boys
or a nancy drew mystery ♪

♪ It'’s just kenan and kel
in your vicinity ♪

♪ Like siegfried and roy
or abbott and costello ♪

♪ Magic and kareem
or penn and teller ♪

♪ Somebody'’s in trouble,
aww, here it go ♪

♪ On nick, ni-nick, nick,
ni-nick, nick, nick ♪

[Cheers and applause]

- All righty.

Thank you for sharing
in the kenan & kelexperience.

I still go by the name of...

Kenan!

[Cheers and applause]

- And from this day forward,
I shall be known as...

Kel!

[Cheers and applause]

- All right, now,
tonight'’s episode

Is going to be really, really
something--

- Whoa, wait, kenan. We'’re not
done with the introduction.

- What?

- Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome...

Captain o'’wonderful!

[Fanfare]

[Cheers and applause]

- [Irish accent] thank you,
lassies and laddies.

I'’m captain o'’wonderful!

- Kel, who is this?

- It'’s captain o'’wonderful.

- I know that,
but what'’s he doing here?

- Well, I thought I'’d add
a new character to the show.

- I'’m captain o'’wonderful!

- Why do we need a new character
on the show?

- Well, he can help out.

You know, get us out
of all that trouble

We get into every episode.

And, also, he'’s irish.

- I'’m captain o'’wonderful!

- Stop saying that!

- Come on, kenan.
Can we keep him?

He'’s strong.
He can dance.

And he'’s irish.

- All right, well, uh,
what'’s his weakness?

- I don'’t know.
What do you mean?

- You know, weakness.

Like, superman'’s weakness
is kryptonite.

Superdude'’s weakness is milk.

- Hey, huh, captain o'’wonderful,

What'’s your weakness?

- Well, the only thing that
can defeat captain o'’wonderful

Are corn dogs.

- [Imitates accent]
corn dogs?

Well, that'’s too bad

Because I just happen to have
a corn dog

Right here!

- Oh!

Me unlucky charms!

- Hey--

- You scared away
captain o'’wonderful.

- Kel, you just can'’t go adding
characters to the show

And replacing them and stuff
like that.

Unless one of the characters
never really belonged there

In the first place.

Well, never mind.
Come on, chucky.

- What do you mean by

"Unless one of them really don'’t
belong there;

Come on, chucky"?

Kenan!
Oh, here it goes!

[Cheers and applause]

- So did you enjoy
your birthday party, honey?

- Yeah.

But I wish I knew what had
happened to kel.

- Yeah.
Where is kel?

I haven'’t seen him for, like,
three hours.

- He'’s probably still hiding.

- Hiding?
Why would he be hiding?

- Because I told him we were
playing hide and go seek.

Oh-ho!
Yeah!

- Oh, roger, that'’s not nice.

- All right.

Olly, olly, oxen free!

- I won!
I won!

Ooh, cake.

- Roger, are you okay?

- I think I broke my nose.

- Daddy, come on.
Get up.

Daddy, do you think we can watch
my video again?

Kel didn'’t get a chance
to see it.

- See what video?

- Man, we were watching
these boring old home movies

Of kyra as a baby.

- Y'’all got any videos of me
as a baby?

- Why would my parents
have videos of you as a baby?

They don'’t even have videos
of me as a baby.

- Why you ain'’t got any videos
of kenan as a baby?

I mean, what,
you don'’t like him?

- Sure, they like him.

They just like me more.

- No, we love both of you
the same.

It'’s just we didn'’t buy
a video camera

Until after kyra was born.

- Ha!
I bet he was just an ugly baby.

- Now that we'’re talking
about it,

I don'’t think I'’ve even seen
pictures of me as a baby.

- That'’s because
there aren'’t any.

- What?
- See? Ugly baby.

Ugly baby.

- Kel, shh.
- Please.

Kenan, when you were younger,

There was a flood
in the basement.

All of your baby pictures
were destroyed.

- Well, that'’s funny,
I don'’t remember a flood.

- That'’s because you were
a little baby when it happened.

- Little ugly baby.
- Kel.

- You know,
when I was little,

My mom said I had the cutest
little butt.

Want to see?

[Together] no!

- Hey, you'’re not a baby
no more

And don'’t nobody want to see
your booty.

- Fine.

- Man, I can'’t believe we don'’t
have any baby pictures of me.

- Hey, look, your parents said
it was all destroyed

In the flood.

- Yeah, but it seemed
kind of fishy to me

Like they were trying to cover
something up.

- Wait a minute.
See?

Here'’s a picture of you
right here.

- That'’s kyra.

- Who'’s the man next to her?

- Oh, that'’s my aunt latifiah.

- Ooh, she looks like
a circus goat.

- Yes, she did a little work
in the circus for--

Never mind about her, man.
Let'’s keep looking.

There'’s got to be something
down here

From when I was a baby.

- Wait a minute.

Maybe you never were a baby.

- What?
Of course I was a baby.

Everybody was a baby.

- Hold on, maybe you were
an alien

That was left here
to observe our earthly ways

Into the year .

- I doubt that.

- Hey, what'’s over here?

Ha-ha-ha!
Hey, check it out, kenan.

I'’m sir kel-a-lot.

- Great.

- And, uh...

Kenan!

Oh, I'’m stuck!

I can'’t get it off!

- Man, look at all this stuff
around here.

Do you really believe
that a huge flood

Destroyed only my baby pictures?

- Well, yeah.

If your stuff was over here
and it was this pipe that broke,

See?

- Ah!
Look what you did to the--

Oh, kel!
Do something!

- Okay.

♪ Hello, kenan;
I'’m a frog ♪

♪ I like pig feet,
pollywogs ♪

- I'’m not talking about
a puppet show.

I mean, do something
about the water!

- Oh!
Oh!

- Put that in.
- Okay.

- Thank ya.

- No problem.

- There'’s gotta be some kind
of explanation for all this.

- Yeah, I know: I broke
the pipe; water came out.

- No, I'’m not talking about
the broken pipe.

Wait.

Maybe there'’s no baby stuff
of me

Because my parents didn'’t know
me when I was a baby.

Maybe they aren'’t really
my parents.

- See?
You'’re an alien.

- I'’m not an alien, man,

But I think I'’m adopted.

- [Gasps]
adopted?

- Yeah.
Adopted.

- Your parents adopted an alien?

- Oh!
No!

Put the frog in!

Put the frog in!

- And here'’s your bill.

- [Sighs]

- Ooh-wee!

Man, that'’s a lot of money.

Boy, I'’m glad I'’m not you,
paying all that money

Just because your son'’s friend
broke a pipe.

[Laughing]

Oh, sorry.

- Hey, can I ask a question,
roger and sheryl?

- Huh?

- Um, am i...
Have I ever been...

Well, no, I guess what
I'’m trying to say...

- He wants to know
if he'’s an alien.

- What?
- Alien?

- No, no.

I want to know if you guys
are really my parents.

- Kenan, of course we are.

- [Gasps]
you'’re all aliens!

- Kel!

Kenan, why would you think that
we really aren'’t your parents?

- Well, because you don'’t have
any baby pictures of me

And no home movies.

- But, honey, we explained
all that stuff.

- Well, then how comes there'’s
no, like, baby kenan shoes

Or baby kenan blanket
or baby kenan anything?

- Kenan, they all got ruined
in the flood.

- [Coughs] aliens.

- Kenan, this is ridiculous.
You'’re our son.

- Well, then, tell me a story
from when I was a baby.

- Okay.
Um...

Um, okay.

Uh, roger?

- Huh?

- [Mouthing]

- Oh, uh, a story about kenan
as a baby.

Oh, I got one.

- Let'’s hear it.
- Yeah, better be good.

- Once I took you on
a roller coaster.

- Oh, this sounds good.
Took him on a roller coaster.

Keep it going.

- When we went through
the loopty-loop,

I unbuckled your seatbelt
and I held you out like so,

And sure enough, you spit up
all over my hair.

[Laughter]

Oh, no, wait.
That was kyra.

- Ah!
See, I knew it.

- Oh, kenan, come on.

If you don'’t believe us, just
check your birth certificate.

It has all our names on it.

- Fine.
Where'’s my birth certificate?

- It'’s, um...

Uh, roger?
Where is his birth certificate?

- I don'’t know.

But I know where kyra'’s is.

- Oh, why you dissing me, man?

- Kenan, calm down.

We can just send away for a copy
of your birth certificate.

- No, it'’s okay.

How do I know y'’all just ain'’t
going to print up a fake one?

- Because we'’re not.

- No, no.
That'’s all right.

I'’ll just go down to the place,

You know, where they keep
all the birth records.

The...
- Oh, yeah.

The city of chicago
department of records, uh-huh,

In the municipal building
on the third floor.

Second door on the right
next to the water fountain.

- There.

I'’m going to the place
where he said,

And I'’m going to find
the birth certificate myself.

Come on, kel.

Good-bye, roger, sheryl.

- Kenan, don'’t call us by
our first name.

- I'’m sorry.

Good-bye, mr. And mrs. Rockmore.

- Hey, uh, if kenan'’s really
not your son,

Can I still come over
and hang out with you?

You could have just said no!

- Can I help you?

- Yeah, we'’re trying to prove
my man kenan here

Is an alien from outer space.

- Security!

- Oh, no need to call security.

Everybody just calm down.

I need a copy
of my birth certificate.

My name is kenan rockmore.

- All right.
Rockmore.

- Yeah.

- Hey, kenan, check it out.

With this helmet on,
I can'’t feel any pain.

Ahh!

Ow!
Oh! Oh!

- Here it is.

- Thank you.

Wait, I don'’t think this
is my birth certificate.

This says "kevin rockmore."

- Oh, I'’m sorry.

I must have given you
the wrong one.

Give me a second.
- Okay.

Hey, kel, look at this, man.

This dude kevin rockmore
was born on the same day as me

And at the same hospital, too.

- Hey, maybe
you'’re kevin rockmore.

- Well, that doesn'’t make sense.

- No, yeah, sure it does.

Maybe you were switched.

Maybe your parents got
the wrong kid.

It happens all the time.

- So you'’re saying
that my parents

Are george and margaret
rockmore?

Please.
[Scoffs]

- Here you go.
Kenan rockmore.

Parents:
roger and sheryl rockmore.

- Yeah.

Get this, he seems to think
that I was switched

With another baby
at the hospital.

- [Laughing]
switched at birth.

You'’d be surprised how often
that happens.

- I-i would?
- Mm.

- That couldn'’t happen to me,
could it?

- Well, two babies born
at the same hospital

At the same time
with almost identical names?

Absolutely.

- Wow.

Maybe I was switched at birth.

- Hey, think about it.

You don'’t look anything like
your parents.

- I don'’t, do i?

Well, I can'’t believe it.

I was switched at birth.

A george and margaret rockmore.

Come on, come on, come on.

Ah, here'’s the address.

- Hey, I got the information
lady on the phone right now.

Uh-huh.
Yeah, rockmore.

Hey, kenan, I got the number.
I'’m about to call it right now.

- No, wait,
don'’t call, man,

'’Cause I got to get--

[Phone ringing]

Hello?

- Hey, is george or margaret
rockmore there?

- No, kel,
this is kenan rockmore.

- Hey, kenan.

Is george or margaret rockmore
there?

- You got the wrong rockmores!

- I thought it was kind of funny
you guys had the same number.

- Can I have the number
to the rockmore residence?

Yeah, george and margaret
rockmore.

Yeah. Okay.

All right. Uh-huh.
Thank you.

- Hey, what are you going
to say?

- I don'’t know, man.

I got to figure out something.

Oh, hello.

Yeah, is this george
or margaret?

Oh, uh,
you gave the wrong number.

I'’m talking.
Stop talking here.

- What did you do that for?

- I got nervous.

- Just because you were switched
at birth

And this is your first time
making contact

With your actual parents?

What a baby.

- Kel, don'’t make a big deal
out of this, all right?

I mean, I'’m just trying
to make sure

That they'’re going to be home
tomorrow morning

So I can meet '’em in person.

- Man, I'’ll handle this.

Yes, hello?
Is this george rockmore?

Here'’s your son.

- Hello?
Ah, no, no, no.

This isn'’t your son.
This is...

Yurson.

[Swedish accent]
yep, yurson smith.

I'’m swedish.

I own my own company.

But enough about me.

Are you and your wife going
to be home tomorrow morning?

Right.

Because I have und gift for you,
yes, yes.

I'’m sure you'’re going to like it
or my name isn'’t yurson.

Okay, great.

Ah, see you tomorrow morning.

All right, bye.

- Hey, that went smooth.

- All right.
Okay, let'’s just go to bed.

All right?
- All right.

- We got a big day ahead of us,
boy.

Tomorrow I meet my real parents.

[Cheers and applause]

- Oh, this is some place.

Man, this is better than
your old parent'’s house.

- [Clears throat]

Can I help you?

- Uh, yeah.

We'’re to see george and margaret
rockmore.

I'’m their son.

- The prince?

It'’s the prince!

- What?
What?

I'’m a prince?

[Fanfare]

- Ladies and gentlemen,

King george and queen margaret
rockmore.

- Our son.
We finally meet.

Welcome to your new home.

- Mother?
Father?

- Please, sit on your throne

And take your rightful place
as prince

Of the kingdom of chicago.

- Wow.

Well, this is the life.

- Ooh, can I have a throne?
Where'’s my throne?

Lady!
Can I have--

- No.

- Here'’s this week'’s allowance,
son:

$ Million.

- And now that you are our son,

You will never have to do
homework again.

- Can I have some more soda?

Both: no.

- What else do I get?

- Anything you want,

Your own personal servant
will get it for you.

[Claps]

- Yeah, kenan,
what can I get you?

- Chris?
You'’re my personal servant?

- Yeah, yeah.

Ain'’t it a hoot?

Both: hoot.

- Yes, hoot.
Now stop mocking me.

I'’m unhappy enough as it is.

- So anything I want,
you have to give me.

- Yes.
Unfortunately, yes.

- Okay, give me your hair.

- My hair?

- You heard me.
I want your hair.

You gotta give it to me.

- [Sighs]

Rip!

- Thanks.

- How about some more soda?

- No!

- What kind of palace is this?

All I want is some orange soda.

- Must he be in this dream?

- Wait, I'’m sorry, mama--
queen mama.

It'’s just that, you know,
he'’s my best friend

From before I was a prince.

- Well, I suppose he can stay.

But he'’s not going to be
a nuisance, is he?

- Well, I can'’t really make
any promises, but...

- Hey, kenan, look!

It'’s a pipe.

It looks just like the one
in your basement.

[All scream]

- Oh, man.
Even in my dreams.

Kel--
kel, wake up!

I had a dream that I met
george and margaret rockmore

And they turned out to be
a king and a queen,

And I was a prince.

- What was i?

- Annoying.
- Me? Annoying?

That must have been a dream.

- Man, what if my parents
really are royalty?

- Or maybe they'’re snow people
from the north pole.

- Snow people
from the north pole?

Well, I never thought
about that.

I better go back to sleep
and see.

[Shivering]

M-mom.
D-d-daddy.

Hey.
I'’m your son.

And I'’m really cold.

- It'’s so nice to meet you, son.

- Here'’s your allowance.

- A fish?
A fish is my allowance?

- Nothing is too good
for our son.

- Okay, look, guys.

I'’m really cold.

I mean, do y'’all have a heater
or something?

- A heater?
We don'’t even have electricity.

Now, can you go catch us
some dinner?

- What?
What?

But can'’t you just eat
my allowance?

- And while you'’re at it,

Take the penguin
for a walk.

- But...
All right.

Oh, man, this is bad.

It'’s time to wake up.

Oh!

- Well?

- I don'’t want want to live
in the north pole.

I sure hope that george
and margaret aren'’t snow people.

- Okay, well,
what about kevin rockmore?

- What about kevin rockmore?

- Well, you know, if you go live
with the snow people,

He'’s going to have to come here
and live.

- Huh.
I never thought about that.

- Yeah, well, maybe you should.

- Okay, I will.
- Have a nice dream.

- Hey, everybody.

- Hey, it'’s, uh...
What'’s his name?

- Yeah, that kid
who used to live here.

- I think his name is, um,

Kenan.

- Oh, yeah!
That'’s right.

- All right, well, uh,
how do you guys like kevin?

- Oh, we couldn'’t be happier.

- He'’s much better than you.

- Ah, dinner'’s ready.

I made everybody'’s
favorite dish.

- Oh!
- My goodness.

- Oh, and kevin,
he is the greatest cook.

- And he gets straight "a"s.

- And he never gets
into trouble.

- Oh, before I forget,

Here'’s everybody'’s allowance.

- Whoa!

- He gives you allowance?

- Yes.
Kevin is the best.

- Oh, kel, my friend.

Somebody that likes me more
than kevin.

How'’s it going?

- Hey, marvin.

- My name'’s not marvin.
It'’s kenan.

- Kevin!
What'’s up, brother?

On the leg.
[Laughs]

What'’s up, man?
Too cool, man.

What'’s up?

- Here'’s some more soda.

- No, man.
That'’s okay.

I mean, just being your friend

Makes me happy.

- Huh?

- And check it out,

Me and kevin,
we'’re starting our own show.

It'’s called
the kevin and kel show.

- Oh...

- But--but what about me?

- What about you, marvin?

♪ For kevin'’s
a jolly good fellow ♪

[Together] ♪ for kevin'’s
a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For kevin'’s
a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

♪ Nobody can deny ♪

- Stop singing.

[Alarm buzzing]

It'’s :.
:!

Kel!
Wake up!

It'’s :!

- : In the morning
or : in the evening?

- : In the morning.

Come on, today'’s the day
I meet my real parents.

- Can'’t you just keep your
fake parents and let me sleep?

- No!
Come on.

- Okay, I'’m ready.

[Grumbling]

- Wait, wait.
Kel.

Kel, you can'’t go down the steps
with your suit--

[Clamoring]

- [Screaming]

Thud!

Come on, kenan.
You coming or not?

Hurry up!

- Well, here we are.

- Man, this does not look like
an igloo.

- I can'’t believe it, man.

I'’m about to meet my parents.

- [Sighs]

What'’s the matter?
Knock on the door.

- I mean, it'’s just that
I'’ve spent my whole life

Thinking that sheryl and roger
were my parents,

And now I'’m about to meet
these two total strangers.

This could drastically change
my life.

- So are you going to knock
on the door or not?

- Oh, you know I could walk away
right now

And keep my life the way
it is.

I mean, I like my life.

And my little sister, well,
sure, she gets on my nerves

And tells on me all the time,

And she painted my toenails
that one time

When I was sleeping.

- That was me.

- Oh.

Well, my point is,
I like my family.

You know, even if I was switched
at birth,

I love
roger and sheryl rockmore.

I mean, they'’ve always been
there for me.

They put up with you,
so...

No matter what,
they'’ll always be my parents.

Come on, kel.
Let'’s go.

- Hold up!

Man, I did not get up
at : in the morning,

Hop miles
with a knight'’s helmet on

Not to meet your parents.

[Banging on door]

- What are you doing?

- Hello.
Can I help you?

- Uh, I'’m sorry.

No, didn'’t mean to disturb you.

We got the wrong house.
I apologize. Sorry.

What'’s the matter with you?

Knocking on the door,
disturbing the people like that.

It'’s : in the morn--

Hey.

Did you see--
- did you--

- Hello.
Again.

- Sorry to disturb you again,

But you wouldn'’t happen to be
george, would you?

- Yes.

- George rockmore?

- Yes.

[Both laughing]

- Who was it, honey?

- Some whacko and a guy with
a knight'’s helmet on his head.

- And you must be margaret.
[Laughing]

- Yes?

- Dad, what'’s going on?

- I know that ain'’t kevin.
[Laughing]