04x10 - Oh, Brother

[bunniefuu]

Oh, here it goes.

♪ Everybody out there
go run and tell ♪

♪ Your homeboys
and homegirls ♪

♪ It's time for
kenan and kel ♪

♪ They'll keep you laughing
in the afternoon ♪

♪ So don't touch that dial,
don't leave the room ♪

♪ Because they're always
into some more fun ♪

♪ And you don't
want to miss it ♪

♪ It's double k
like two the good way ♪

♪ Kenan and kel, or should
I say kel and kenan? ♪

♪ Then you gotta
watch kenan ♪

♪ 'Cause kenan be scheming
with a plan or a plot ♪

♪ To make it to the top ♪

♪ But they're kinda
in the middle ♪

♪ Because they're always
gettin' caught ♪

♪ This ain't the hardy boys
or nancy drew mystery ♪

♪ It's just kenan and kel
in your vicinity ♪

♪ Like sigfried and roy
or abbott and costello ♪

♪ Magic and kareem
or penn and teller ♪

♪ Somebody's in trouble?
Oh, here it go ♪

♪ On nick nick nick nick
nick nick nick nick ♪

All right!

[Cheering]

Thank you
very much! Man!

Thank you
for joining us

For this fine
installment

Of the kenan & kel
show.

If I was meeting you
for the first time,

I'd probably say,
"hello, how you
doing?

My name is kenan!

[Cheering]

And if I was meeting you
for the first time,

I would say,
"I don't know who you are,

But I'm pretty sure
my name is kel!"

[Cheering]

Uh, kel...

You might find this
hard to believe,

But, uh, I've run
out of crazy ideas

To get us
in trouble.

Really? Great!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Wait, man.

It's not great.

If there's
no trouble,

There's no show.

Then let's go home!

No. W-w-w-wait.

I know what we'll do.

Call the trouble
hotline.

Hee hee hee.

The trouble hotline?

Mm-hmm.

Shh! It's ringing.

[Ringing]

Man: hello! And thank you
for calling trouble phone.

If you're looking for trouble
involving a donkey,

Press one now.

Trouble involving
the elderly,

Press .

If you have your own
television show

And you need trouble
for tonight's episode,

Press .

[Beep]

If you're calling from
cousin skeeter,

Press one.

If you're calling from
the kenan & kelshow,

Press .

[Beep]

Oh, man. You don't need any
trouble suggestions from me.

You guys will have
plenty of problems

To deal with
in tonight's show.

Good luck.

Hey, man.

That's great.

We don't have
to worry about
getting in trouble.

Now, come on!
Humper tee!

Kenan, is there a "get out
of trouble" hotline?

Kenan!

How come all of us
heard the phone?

Kenan!

Awwwww! Here it goes!

Kenan!

I'm upset, man.

I just bought
these earphones,

And I can't hear a thing.

That's because
they're not plugged
up to anything, kel.

You got to plug
them in if you want
to hear the music.

Ohh!

Not an apple, man!
I meant plugging
them in--

That's better!

♪ Uhh! ♪

♪ Don't you
wanna? Uhh! ♪

Here. Get mopping.

Ohh. This is awful.

Just awful.

This is
the worst day
of my entire life.

Something wrong, chris?

No, no.
Why do you ask?

Because you said,
"this is awful, just awful,

This is the worst day
of my entire life."

Oh, that.

Well, today is
mother's birthday.

Your mother's birthday?

Ah, man.
That's just awful.

Man, what is
the world coming to?

Kel, that's not
the awful part.

Oh.

My brother rick
is coming to town.

I didn't know
you had a brother.

Yeah. Unfortunately, I do.

He's wealthy,
successful, handsome,

And everybody loves him,

Especially women.

And that's
awful because...

It's awful because he always
goes out of his way

To make me feel
like a nerdy,

Little, wimpy
mama's boy.

And don't forget whiny!

Yeah. That--

I'm not whiny!

N-n-now, please, please!

Help me get this place
cleaned up

Before rick gets here!

Come on!

Kenan, why aren't
you mopping?

You just gave me the--

All right!

After mopping,
I need you to scrub

Every item
in the store
with my toothbrush.

But--

Get to work!

Kenan.

Hmm?

Hey!

I have never been
this exhausted

In my entire life!

I'm never getting off
of this couch.

Get off the couch.
I want to watch tv.

♪ Can't move! ♪

♪ Too tired! ♪

What's wrong
with you?

Man, chris' brother's
coming to town,

And he's all
freaked out about it,

So he made me clean up
the whole store.

Yeah. Kenan had
to sweep, mop,

Wax, buff, dust.

Man, I got so tired
just watching him!

Mom:
hey, everybody!
I made cookies!

Cookies! Whoo!

Be careful!
It's hot!

Would you guys
like some--

Aah! It's hot! It's hot!

Aah!

Ow!

Ow! Hot! Hot!

Ahh!

Daddy, you know
what that looks like?

Yes, I know what
it looks like!

Way to ruin
the cookies!

Come on!
No, no, no.
Roger, roger.

Let's get you
somewhere kel
isn't, ok?

Come on.

Uhh!

Kenan! Kenan, clean up
this mess, would you?

Oh.

Oh, kenan,
that reminds me.

Chris called.

He said he wants you
to come in early tomorrow

So you can clean
the whole store again.

What!?

Oh, man!

I can't do another
hard day's work
like I did today.

It's too hard.

I wish chris
wasn't so worried

About what
his brother thinks.

If only his life
wasn't so boring
and uninteresting.

That's it!

We got to make it seem

Like chris leads
a really exciting life.

Give me the phone.

Oh, I see where you're
going with this.

When chris' brother
sees chris
with this phone,

He's going to be
so impressed.

Yes!

No, man!

The phone is for me.

I've got a plan.

-Plan.

Thank you
for shopping
at rigby's.

I'm just as good
as my brother.

I'm sure you are.

[Bells on door tinkle]

Kenan,
where were you?

This place
is a mess,

And rick's
going to be here
any minute.

Calm down, chris.

C-c-calm?
I'm calm!

I don't have
any issues
with my brother,

Just 'cause he treats
me like a kid

Or whether mother
loves him better than me.

Once again,
may I reiterate--
calm down!

Check it out, man.

We got the solution
to all your problems.

Really?yeah.

Now, what's
the one thing
you have

That your
brother doesn't?
Yeah.

My pewter cow collection.

Uhh! Uhh! Uhh! Wrong!

The correct answer
is your wife
and the kids.

Wife and kids?

I don't have
a wife and kids

Hey, you do now.

Yeah. Kel and I
went out and hired

A lady and some kids
to pretend to be
your family.

What?
That's ridiculous.

And it's dishonest.

Besides, I don't
need a wife and kids
to impress rick.

He is going to be
envious enough

When he sees
the birthday gift
I got mother.

Ah!

Wow!

You got, uh, uh...

Uh...

What's that?

It's an exact replica
of an egyptian pyramid.

Mother just loves
anything to do with egypt.

Rick will never
be able to top this.

Yo! Chrissy!

Hey, rick.

You look great.

And you...

Are right.
I do look great.

Ahhhhhhhh!
Ha ha ha ha!

W-w-what?
It was funny.

Man, I can't believe
you two are brothers.

I mean, you guys don't
look anything alike.

Let me guess.
You guys must work here,

'Cause I know chris
doesn't have any friends.

Yep. I'm kenan,
and this is
my good friend kel.

You know, actually,
chris is a wonderful--[cell phone rings]

Hold that thought,
sparky.

Rick here.

Yeah!

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'd much rather
have dinner with you,

But I got to do this
boring family thing.

Yeah.

Ha ha ha. He still
lives with our mother.

Ha ha ha. All right.

Well, I'll talk
to you later, oprah.

Ah!

Man, you were
talking to oprah?

As in oprah winfrey?

H-h-hey,
that's all right.

Michael jordan gave her
my phone number,

And now she just
won't stop calling me.

M-m-michael!

Michael jordan!
Oh, man!

I want tickets!

Not that we would
be impressed by stuff
like that.

Sure, we are, man.

He knows oprah winfrey.

Chris,
why don't you show
your brother the gift

That you got for your
mama's birthday?

Oh, yeah.

Wait, wait.

Me first.

You know how mom
loves anything to do
with egypt?

Yeah?

Well, get this.

I am sending her
on a two-week vacation
to egypt!

She is going to get
to see the actual pyramids.

So, uh, what
did you get her?

I have a wife
and kids.

What?

That's right. He has
a beautiful wife
and kids.

We picked 'em
out ourselves!

They're outside.
Go get 'em, kel.

Hey, guys! It's showtime!

Daddy!daddy!

Ohh!

I'm not your daddy.

There you are.
All right.

Hey, kids.

Darling!

Oh, I missed you
so much.

Every moment without you
is like an eternity.

Yep, rick,
this is the wife,

The little lady.

Uh...mrs. Potter.

Don't kiss me.

Right, sorry.

Don't they make
a lovely couple?

Aren't you
just envious? Mmm!

You are a lucky man.

Yeah. She's hot!

You know, chris,

I always thought you were
a big, pathetic loser,

But, well, now
that I see this...

I'm convinced.

You're an even bigger loser
than I thought you were.

Did you really think
I would fall for this?

Uh, w-w-what are you
talking about?

Honey, honey--

Oh, forget it.
He's on to you.

You know...

You're kinda cute.

That's what they tell me.

Yeah!

He knows michael jordan
and oprah!

Really?

Could I buy you
some coffee?

Sure.

Nice meeting you guys.

See you at mom's, chrissy.

Loser!

Rick, I asked--

No!

I told you
to come here today

Because I've got
a few things I want to say.

I am sick and tired
of you making me feel

Like my life
is dull and worthless.

It's not!

So, as of right now,

You're going to start
showing me some respect.

Do I make myself clear?

I said, do I make
myself clear?

Chris, stop practicing
on that head of lettuce now.

Your brother's out front.

Good.

It's about time he and I
had a little talk.

That's right.

So this came off
of an actual pony?

Rick!

I have
something I want
to say to you.

I have been waiting
a long time
to tell you this.

What?

I am sick and...

Uh...

Uh...

Feeling much
better now though.

It was just
a sinus thing.

Not to worry.

That's great. Listen,
I have something I really
want to tell you, too.

I have got great news.

You're leaving?

I bought rigby's.

Y-you--y-you
bought rigby's?

That's right, chrissy.

I figured that
with my golden touch,

I could turn even a dump
like this into a winner.

So this means that
you're going to be
my new boss now?

Yep.

And chrissy's, too?

That's right.

Imagine that, chrissy?

You are gonna be
be working for me.

Really?no kidding.

Yep.

And then chris
just fainted like--

Ohh!

Oh. Poor, poor chris.

Hey, rockmores!

Sorry I'm late
for dinner!

Late! You weren't
invited.

Well, then
I'm not sorry.

[Doorbell rings]

I'll get it!

[Whistles]

Ah.

Hi, kenan.

Chris, what
you doing here?

Chris, don't you
know it's rude

To show up
to dinner uninvited?

I'm afraid I've got
some bad news.

I quit rigby's.

No.what?

Why would you
quit rigby's?

I refuse to work
for my brother.

He may have
rigby's,

But at least
I've still got
my dignity.

Chris--oh.

Food! Uhh!

Ooh!

Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!

Chris?

Mmm.

Didn't your mother
make you dinner?

Oh, didn't I mention?

I'm not living
with mother anymore.

That's right.

I'm not setting foot
in that house

As long as rick is there.

So where are you
going to stay?

Oh, I don't know.

I guess I'll just
wander the streets
for a while.

Maybe sleep in a pile
of trash somewhere.

But don't worry about me.

I'll be ok. Ahem.

Ah.

I'm a big boy now.

[Crying]

Ok, here I go.

I'm going...

Now.

Ok, chris. Bye!

Peace!

Chris! Wait, wait.

Why don't you
stay here with us?

Didn't you hear him?

He said he wanted
to go to sleep in
a pile of garbage.

Chris, it's ok.

You can stay here
with us...temporarily.

Gee, I don't know.

I mean, I don't want
to impose.

We insist.

Ok.

I'll go get my stuff.

Oh. Then it's solved.

Let's go eat.
Can you fix him a plate?

Well, are you guys
just gonna stand there

Or are you gonna
help me with my bags?

Oh! No, mr. Porcupine.

I thought
you were my friend.

Uhh! Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!

Mother! Mother!

Help! Mother, help!

Help! Help! Help!

Help! Mother!

Help!

Chris!

Is everything ok?

Oh.

I-i-i'm fine.

I must've been
having a nightmare.

Oh, I'm sorry
if I woke you.

That's ok.

Oh!

What is it now?

It's just that
I can't get to sleep

After I have
a nightmare.

Is there
anything we can
do to help?

No.

Ok.

Actually...

Mother usually
makes me hot cocoa.

That helps me
fall back asleep.

I guess I can
make you some cocoa.

It also helps
when mother rocks me
to sleep.

Chris...

I am not going
to rock you to sleep.

Oh, that's ok.

I guess I'll just
be up all night,

Tossing and turning,

Really loudly.

Ok.

You know, I sleep
much better when
mother sings to me.

♪ Rock a bye baby ♪

♪ On the treetop ♪

[Mumbling]

♪ The cradle
will rock ♪

[Cash register rings]

Thank you
for shopping

At the new and
improved rigby's.

Nice uniform. Ha ha ha.

Ho ho. Hey.

I haven't heard
that times today,

So why don't you
take your little bag
of groceries,

And get out of here!

Whoo! Yeah!

Hey, kenan.

Oh! Ohh.

Hey, nice uniform.

It's not nice.

I hate wearing this
ugly old thing.

I feel like
a circus freak.

I'm only wearing it
'cause rick's making me.

Wish rick would
make me wear one.

Hey, rick, I need
to talk to you.

Say no more, champ.

I don't mind
if you want to wear
the uniform outside work.

Just make sure
you keep it clean.

That's not what
I was going to say.

Oh, never mind!

Who loves
orange soda?

A lot of people
love orange soda.

Excuse me!

I'm in the middle
of a thing here!

Huh!?

Ok, now where was i?

Oh, yeah, that's it.

Kel loves
orange soda!

Is it true?

Mm-hmm!

I do, I do, I do.

Ooh! Oh, yeah.
Come on.

Come to papa.
There you go.

Hey, hey, hey!
You're going to have
to pay for that.

What?

Pay for orange soda?

Chris never made me
pay for orange soda.

He never made me
pay for anything.

Oh, yeah. Well, see...

Chris doesn't
work here anymore.

Ohh!

You just lost
a customer, bub!

I'm never taking
anymore free stuff
from this store again.

Huh! Take it back!

Take it back!

Take it back!

Take it...

Back!

What's his story?

Never mind about him.

I need to talk to you
about chris.

Yeah? What about him?

Don't you think you should
try to talk to him?

Why would I want
to do that?

Because you guys
are family, you know.

Brothers! I mean,
don't you think
you should try

To patch things up
and get him to come
back to work?

Rigby's is his life.

Please! He's just
being a big baby.

Trust me. He'll come
crawling back.

All right, look.

I'm only going to take
one more free thing.

But I tell you this!

This is the last time!

Whoa! It's
freezing in here.

Roger, turn down the
air conditioning,
please.

Ok.

No, no.
Don't touch it.

I've got it set just
the way I like it.

Well, as long
as you're comfortable.

Oh. What did
you get me?

We brought you
a newspaper!

And we circled the
jobs you might want
to apply for.

Mm-hmm. And some
apartments you might
want to move into.

Oh, yeah,
that's great.

So, what do you
got to eat?

Potato chips!

With ridges?

Oh, I guess they'll do.

Hello, kenan!

Got the video!

Oh, yeah.

Oh, great. What movie
are we gonna watch?

Weare gonna watch
the graveyard m*ssacre.

Oh, no. That's
a scary movie.

We can't watch that.

Why not?

Because I scare
too easily.

Ever since
this one halloween,

Mother took
rick and me
to a haunted house

And told us it was
our new home.

She left us there
for two whole days.

No! Man, that must
have left some deep-rooted,
emotional scars

That you're going
to have to struggle with
for the rest of your life.

Sure did.

Ever since then,

Rick and I both
can't handle
anything scary.

Huh.

Can't handle
anything scary, huh?

Interesting.

[Snoring]

Son, what is it?

Look, I wanted to have
a meeting about chris.

We got to do something.

Uh-huh.

Kenan, I was
thinking
the same thing!

I just feel
so bad for him
though.

Man, I don't know how
you guys deal with it.

I mean, I could not
deal with somebody

Just at my house
all the time,

Just eating all my food.

I mean, it's just
so annoying.

Anyway...

I think I figured out a way
to get chris out of here.

Ok. Well,
let's hear the plan.

What are you all doing here
in the middle of the night?

Um...

Um...mom?

What are we...
All doing in here?

Was that
the question,
chris, because i--

Oh...yes,

But, you know,
I don't really care.

Roger, do you mind?

I'll be right there.

And, cheryl, if you
could make sure the
cocoa isn't too hot.

The last time
it b*rned my tongue.

Peace!

Peace to you.

Ok. So tell me more
about this plan to
get rid of chris,

'Cause
he's got to go.

All right. Now it turns out
that chris' brother

Is terrified
of haunted houses.

So?

So...we'll make rigby's
seem like it's haunted

So that he'll want nothing
to do with the place.

Mm-hmm.

And then
he'll leave town

Because he won't
have any reason
to stay.

And then chris
will leave our house.

Yeah! Now are we all in?

Oh, baby, we in!

Rockmores!

The kimballs! Ha! Whoo!

Hey, rick, you want me
to turn the lights off
when I leave?

No, leave them on.

I've got some work
to finish up
before I leave.

W-w-wait.

You mean, you're going
to stay here at rigby's

All by yourself
after hours?

Brave man.

Brave man.

Why?

What's the big deal?

Don't you know?

Rigby's is haunted!

Haunted?

Yeah.

We're talking
ghosts...

Zombies...

And bunny rabbits!

Well, some people
are scared
of bunny rabbits.

Come on, guys.

I mean, you know,
haunted...

[Deep, ominous voice]
get out!

I'm convinced.
Let's go!

Oh!

Get out of the way,
you idiot!

No! Oh, no.
The door's closed.

Get out!

We're trying!

The back door!

Aah! Aah!

The back door!

Aah!

Aah!

Oh! There's--
there's some--

There's--aah!

I got the front door open!

Aah!

Ha ha ha!ha ha ha!

Ho!hey-ho!

Hey! Hey!

What's going on?
Why did you call me--

Zombies!

Uh-uh-uh, chris,
calm down, man.

It's just
my mom and dad.

Oh, of course.

What's going on here?

We scared your brother
out of rigby's.

Yeah! We made him think
rigby's was haunted.

What? You did that
for me?

Well, actually,
they did it

So you'd get out
their house.

Kel!

See, man, you should
have been here.

First, we rigged
the doors so that
they would close.

Heh-heh.

Then we got the
lights to go out.

Then my parents
came in looking
all scary.

Hey, oh, kenan,
but don't forget,

When you did the voice,
that was real cool.

You were like, "get out."
Man, that was cool, man.

I didn't do that.

You didn't?

Well, I didn't do it.

Don't look at me.it wasn't me.

Well, if y'all
didn't do it,

And I didn't do it,

Then who--

Get out!

Aah!

Don't leave me!

Whoo! Thank you!

Oh, wow!

Look at the love!

Whoo! Appreciate that,
appreciate that.

Did everybody
enjoy the show, huh?

[Cheering]

All right!

Well, it looks
like everything
turned out ok.

I mean,
rick left town,

And chris is back
at rigby's

And out of
our house.

Mm-hmm.

Although, we never
did figure out

Where that
eerie voice
was coming from.

Hmm-hmm. That was me.

Yeah, right.
I don't believe you.

No. I really did.

Ok, look,
I'll prove it to you.

[Deep, ominous voice]
get out!

Huh? Huh?

Pretty cool, huh?

Yeah.
That's not bad,
but, you know,

Like most things,
that gives me
an idea.

So, kel...

Why don't you
grab something good,

Something bad,

And something ugly,

And meet me
at the corral.

Come on, partner!

Kenan!

Where's the corral?

Kenan!

Awwwwwww! Here it goes!

Why-y-y-y-y-y-y!?