03x11 - Doug's Shock Therapy/Doug is Hamburger Boy

[bunniefuu]

[ Yelps]

[ Barks]

[ Electric guitar playing]

[ Man singing scat]

[ Barks]

Cool! Whoa!

[ Thwack]

[ Barks]

Doug:
dear journal, the good news is

Our assistant principal,
mr. Bone, is out.

The bad new is
he's in the hospital.

Mrs. Wingo:
all right,
class

Just write "get well soon,
mr. Bone"

In your words.

When you're done

You may go.

Now, I need someone to stay

And take the cards
to mr. Bone at the hospital.

Why, thank you, doug.

Huh?

Mr. Bone will feel better

When you show up
with these cards.

Me?

Visit mr. Bone?

In the hospital?

[ Footsteps]

[ Hinge creaks]

[ Barks]

That's me.

Hey!

[ Barks]

[ Yelps]

Woman:
paging dr. Gore, dr. Gore.

This was terrible.

I had to see mr. Bone

The unfriendliest
vice-principal in bluffington.

And who knew what
he was in here for.

Ah, funnie! Come in, come in.

How'd you know
it was me, mr. Bone?

Peek-a-boo!

[ Laughs]

[ Gasps]

Now I can keep my eyes
on you hooligans

At all times.

[ Laughing maniacally]

It's me, mr. Bone, doug funnie.

[ Weakly:]
doug funnie...

Well, what do you know.

Come in.

Are you okay, mr. Bone?

Oh, I'm fine--

As fine as someone can be
who's about to... To...

I brought something
to cheer you up.

For me?

Oh, boy.

No, mr. Bone, that's...

Nobody has ever given me
a real get-well present before.

Usually I just get
a lousy card tree.

I, I don't know
what to say.

Say good-bye.

Time to

Remove that wart.

A wart?

From his little pinkie.

No, please, nurse,
don't cut me yet.

I'm not ready.

I... I... Help!

He still had
my skateboard.

What will you do?

He's coming back.

I'll just ask him
for it back.

I mean, what's
mr. Bone going to do

With a skateboard?

Mr. Bone:
kowabunga!

Whoa!

Surf's up.

Hey, dude!

Don't leave
me hanging.

Lay some
skin on me.

Well...

Excellent.

Huh?

Come to my office.

I've got something
to show you.

Was it a wart they
removed or his brain?

Whee! Awesome.

Come in,funnie.
Mr. Bone?

Got you.

Sit down, dude, sit down.

Yes, mr. Bone.

From now on

I want everyone
to call me t-bone.

That was my
nickname in school.

Yes, mr.... T-bone.

Thank you for saving my life.

Huh?

I didn't think I'd make it
through the wartectomy.

You know why?

No.

Because I
didn't think

Anybody cared.

But then, a miraculous
thing happened

As they were putting
me to sleep.

I dreamt I was gliding back into
the wonderful land of childhood.

All:
t-bone!! Yay!!

We love t-bone,
we love t-bone...

Mr. Bone:
it was a magical place
filled with happiness and joy

Lakes of hot chocolate and
miles and miles of sidewalk

And everyone liked me.

We played for hours and hours

With no grownups
to boss us around.

And when I awoke

I was a changed man

And all because your gift

Allowed the child hidden inside
me to come skateboarding out.

Thank you,
funnie.

Ow!

[ Electric buzzer]

From now on

We're going
to be great pals.

It turned out mr. Bone
really was a changed man.

Ms. Wingo:
"and then
king ludwig

Of bavaria went insane..."

Mr. Bone:
attention, everyone.

There's been a change
in today's schedule.

School is dismissed.

But it's only
: in the morning.

Oh, lighten up,
you old stick-in-the-mud.

Get a skateboard.

[ Cushion deflating]

Got you.

Man, this is great.

A whole afternoon to
do whatever we want.

Whatever you did,
doug, keep it up.

Do you guys want to go
over to the honker burger?

I'm starving.

Mr. Bone:
what was
that, funnie?

Did you say honker burger?

I'll be right down.

Maybe I better go home
and catch up on my homework.

Yeah, me, too.

Mr. Bone:
last one there buys.

Why me?

That's all I kept asking
myself all afternoon.

Why me?

[ Barking like a seal]

Pull my finger,
funnie.

And it didn't end there.

What's going on?

No school.

Huh?

We get
the day off.

Mr. Bone declared
it skateboard day.

[ Mr. Bone laughing]

Okay, see you.

Doug...

Where you
going?

Hey, keep it up

And maybe we'll
get the month off.

Please,
doug, please.

[ Sighs]

Just watch
out for the...

You're the hundredth kid
I've nailed today.

Mr. T-bone, you got
to cut this stuff out.

Ooh, did mr. Party pooper get up

On the wrong side of the bed
this morning?

It's all in fun!

Since we've

Got the day off

What do you say we go
to su1c1de mountain, huh?

But, mr. Bone, that's only
for really good skateboarders.

Come on, doug, do it.

Come on, man.

You're just
saying that

Because you don't
want to go with me.

I shouldn't have declared it
skateboard day.

I shouldn't
declare

Any more
holidays at all.

All:
doug, come on, please.

It's not that.

It's just that...

Then you'll go?

This was awful.

If I didn't go with mr. Bone
everyone would hate me.

And if I did go with mr. Bone...

Doug:
I don't think
we want to do this.

Get over
it, funnie

You sound like
an old poop.

Excuse me, guys.

[ Gulps]

But mr. Bone,
this isn't like your dream.

This is a real

-Foot drop.

Come on, buddy.

Are you with me
or not?

It was then I realized

What the cost of keeping
mr. Bone happy was going to be.

[ Laughing]

Got you.

Man:
we've come to join
these two in marriage.

Does your best man
have a ring?

[ Laughing]

Here's your teeth.

[ Laughing]

Got you.

Funnie?

Funnie!

Come on, let's...

I'm sorry, mr. Bone.

I didn't mean to give you
this skateboard.

What?

I came to bring
you get-well cards

And you took
my skateboard
by mistake.

Oh, so in other words,
you hate me.

I didn't say that.

Yes, you did.

That's just
what you said.

No, it's not.

You can keep your
dumb old skateboard.

Whoa!

Yeeoowww!

Hello, mr. Bone.

Everybody was
worried about you.

We pitched in and
we bought these.

It's not a
skateboard but...

Funnie, I want
to thank you.

Huh?

I'm turning over
a new leaf.

From now on, you're going
to see a new mr. Bone.

Ready to face
the world

With a renewed
sense of

What schoolchildren
really need.

Skateboards?

Discipline!

Without discipline
life is just a lot of hubbub

And skateboard accidents.

I can't wait
to get back to school.

So the good news is

Mr. Bone isn't acting
like a child anymore.

The bad news is...

Mr. Bone:
all right, hurry up.

Get to class on the double.

One second late

And it'll be
on your permanent record.

He's back
to normal.

Hey, those shoes
could use a good shine

And you, missy, those
earrings don't match.

Let's stow that
skateboard pronto!

At exactly : a.m. Last monday
the sun came up.

The first place it hit was
the top of bluffco industries--

The highest point
in bluffington.

It raced into town
along cooper's road

Shot down main street

Took a right at the corner
of vine and jumbo

And at : and
seconds exactly

After nine solid
months of waiting

The first day of summer vacation
reached jumbo street.

[ Footsteps]

[ Hinge creaks]

[ Barks]

That's me.

Hey!

[ Barks]

[ Yelps]

Dear journal, it was
the first day of vacation.

We had just uncovered
an ancient burial ground.

Mr. Dink came over and said
he wanted to talk to me.

Ah, douglas,
psst.

He didn't want to talk about it
in front of skeeter.

So that night....

I want to show
you something

That I've never
shown anyone before.

[ Gasps]

Oh, golly!

This is really
special, douglas.

A cookbook,
mr. Dink?

No, look closer, douglas.

See? That's me.

Here I am
at age .

Oh, gosh, and this
is me when I was .

And here I was

' , The year they
introduced honker sauce.

Mr. Dink, you're...

You're the only one
who knows, douglas.

I'm the
hamburger boy.

I couldn't believe it.

My neighbor was
the guy in the goofy suit

Waving cars into
the honker burger every summer.

Hey, look.

Whoa, down, boy, down,
watch it, get off me!

I never had any idea
that I was laughing at mr. Dink.

Since I was your age

I've spent the first week
of every summer

Being the hamburger boy.

Till now.

I have to go
out of town

On business
this week.

That's too bad,
mr. Dink.

Who are you going to
get to replace... You?

You've been just like
a son to me, douglas.

All right, all right,
I'll do it.

I was stuck.

For the next week

I was going to be the goof
in the big burger suit.

I can only tell you
I'm involved in a major suit.

It's only for one week.

Luckily mr. Dink wanted
to keep it a big secret.

And do you swear to keep
your identity secret

And uphold the honor
of the hamburger boy?

I do.

What size pickle
do you wear?

As so it began...

And what would
you like

From the hamburger
boy, little boy?

One little honker meal.

Doug, it's dougie.

Dougie, doug,
doug, doug, doug.

Doug, doug,
dougie.

No, dale,
that's not doug.

That's the big
honker burger.

Doug, doug,
doug, doug, doug.

Just give him
a little honker meal.

Where is doug,
skeeter?

I thought you guys were
going penny-diving.

He disappeared.

Nobody knows what
happened to him.

Skeeter:
come on, dale,
say thank you.

Doug, doug.

It went on like that all week.

Then on friday,
when I was taking my break...

Patti:doug!
Patti, oh, no.

Here you are!

We were wondering what happened.

You look beat.

Oh, yeah, well...

Oh, no, got to go.

Doug, wait, listen.

Do you want to
come to the picnic

With skeeter
and me tomorrow?

Why sure, patti.

Great!

It wasn't till later
I remembered.

I'm supposed to be the hamburger
at the same picnic.

I knew it would be tough

But I was going to try
to be the hamburger boy

And have a picnic.

I had it timed precisely.

After I gave the award
for underwater freeze tag

I had eight minutes

Before the watermelon float.

Congratulations.

Doug:
hey, patti,
hey, skeeter.

Sorry, I'm late.

Hey, doug.

Doug, you came!

Burger, burger, burger.

Do you guys
smell pickles?

Yeah, I'm
starving too.

[ p*stol firing]

What was that?

Just a start of one
of the races, I guess.

What?

It can't be.

I'll be right back.

Congratulations.

Girls:
huh?

My pants.

Dale:
dougie burger.

Oh, no!

Dale, come back here.

Doug, there you are.

[ Gasps]

Doug, come on.

Skeeter and I saved you
a place in our canoe.

Uh-huh...

What's the matter?

I just remembered
something I have to do.

Well, okay.

See you.

I decided the only way
I could get my pants back

Was to appeal to dale's
love of the big burger.

I had about two minutes

Before I had to give out
the ribbon for the canoe race.

Hey, dale.

Doug burger, doug burger!

Nyah, nyah, nyah.

Doug burger.

Shh, hey, dale,
nice, dale, come on.

Hey!

Burger dougie.

Burger dougie.

Hey, dale.

Hey, dale!

Burger dougie.

No, mine.

No, porkchop.

It's me, doug.

Stop it.

I mean it.

Cut it out.

I figured it out.

He hates me.

No, he doesn't.

But I think I know
what doug's been doing.

What?

Look at that!

Porkchop,
stop it, heel.

Heel. Cut it out.

Please sit down, al.

For stability,
you must not stand.

Please, stability...

The stability!

Oh, no!
Oh, no!

Help, danger.

We're drowning.

Look!

Huh!

Help, let me in.

Please, let me in.

Stop it!

You'll turn
the boat over.

Help! Help! Help!

The horror.

Let us in.

Move over.

Give me a hand.

What are you
guys doing?

Stop rocking
the boat.

Help!

Help.

Help!

Help!

We do not
breathe water.

Skeeter:help!
Huh?

Hurry, hold on.

Everybody,
hold on

And stay with
the burger.

Come on, stay
with the burger.

Thank you, giant
hamburger person.

[ Cheering]

Forgive me.

Okay.

Wait, where'd he go?

Where's hamburger boy?

He disappeared.

Hmm!

And then out
of nowhere

The giant hamburger
person appeared.

He had the strength
of . Persons.

Hey, skeeter,
hey, patti.

Doug, where were you?

Oh, uh, I was...

You don't need
to say it, doug.

I figured out
your secret.

Uh, secret?

Why you were gone
all this time.

But don't worry.

I won't
tell anybody.

You guessed, huh?

It was
pretty obvious.

You shouldn't be embarrassed.

A lot of people can't swim.

But what could I say?

I had to keep
my oath of silence.

I could never tell her
I was the heroic hamburger boy.

Hmm, that's funny.

I smell pickles.

Reporter:
this home video,
taken by an amateur

Is the only actual record
we have of hamburger boy.

The only clue left behind was
this one pickle-shaped shoe.

He's certainly
the bravest hamburger

I've ever seen.

The mystery remains.

Who is this masked stranger?

Where did he come from?

And why was he carrying
that pair of pants?

Hmm, I wonder.

Nah, it couldn't be.