05x09 - 112

[bunniefuu]

Oh!

Why y'all sitting on the floor like that?

I said, why y'all sitting on the floor like that?

Somebody say something.

Talk!

Simon says put your hands down and talk.

Who are you? I'm simon.

We're playing simon says.

Oh, really? Aw, I love simon says.

I'm real good at it. Can I play?

Yeah, sure.

Just go take a seat with the rest of the cast.

Yay!

Aw! I didn't say simon says go have a seat.

You're out!

But you simon. I mean, everything you say simon says,

'Cause...you simon!

So then simon says you're out!

Man!

Martin!

Simon says break danny's portable compact disc player.

Wait...no!

If you say so, simon.

Amanda!

Simon says...

Hit danny over the head with a sackful of rocks!

Ok.

Ohh!

Dan-ny!

Your turn!

Yay!

Simon says hit yourself over the head with a sackful of rocks.

Aw, man!

Kenan! Simon says you're back in the game.

You mean it? Aw, thanks, simon.

Ok, everybody.

Simon says stand up and give me all your money.

Come on, now. There you go.

Ok!

Kenan, simon says you're out again.

Ah--wha--wha-- it's just not fair!

Hey--hey, simon.

Are we going to do anything else that doesn't involve

Hurting me or--or giving you stuff?

Uh...

Sure, danny. Simon says, stop talking and hold your breath.

Kenan: wait a minute.

Give me my money back!

Hey, what--hey!

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Uh-huh. It says here on his i.d.

That his name isn't simon at all!

It's ralph.

You mean we've been playing ralph says?

But that's not even a game!

Can I get my wallet back?

Amanda says no! Now b*at it, ralph.

Man, the nerve of that simon wannabe!

Oh, well. Let's go do the show.

Come on, danny.

Danny, stop holding your breath now.

You gotta say simon says!

Oh, yeah.

Well, let's go do the show.

All right!

Captioning made possible by nickelodeon and u.s. Department of education

Fresh out the box.

Stop, look, and watch.

Ready yet? Get set.

It'sall that.

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪

♪ Check it, check it

♪ Now, this is just an introduction ♪

♪ Before we blow your mind ♪

♪ The show is all of that ♪

♪ And yes, we do it all the time ♪

♪ So sit your booty on the floor ♪

♪ Or in a chair

♪ On the ground or in the air ♪

♪ Just don't go nowhere

♪ 'Cause everything we do

♪ Is all of that

♪ We're entertaining you

♪ We're all of that

♪ My posse and my crew

♪ Is all of that

♪ So sit still

♪ 'Cause we're comin' right back ♪

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪

♪ Check it out

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪

Girl, you know I love working here.

Mm-hmm, girl. You know there is nothing I can say

That I'd rather be doing than working right here at quik n' fast.

Hand me your nail polish, girl.

Ok, hold on.

Thank you, lanisha.

Here you go, tetine.

There you go, there you go.

Hi, uh, excuse me, ladies.

Can one of you help me, please?

Both: ooh! Ooh!

Let me help.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Let me help!

See, I don't care who helps me.

Can one of you guys just get me of those hot dogs, please?

Oh, yes, your majesty, I live to serve!

You know, I would help you, but I don't want to.

Here you go, your highness. That's hot dogs.

That'll be a whole quarter.

Wow! What a great deal.

Hot dogs for a quarter?

How exciting!

Mm-hmm.

[Complaining to each other]

I'm gonna hear my music. That's exactly what it is, I mean--

♪ Oh, oh, hi, hi!

♪ Oh, oh, ah

♪ Let him know about it

♪ Let him know about it

Hey, excuse me.

♪ Shake it all, shake it all-- ♪

Hey, hey, hey. Excuse me!

Excuse me!

Know you did!

I know you just did not interrupt my booty quaking!

But that's ok. Now let's just calm down.

Just calm down.

Calm...down!

We just stop what we doing since the world revolves around...

Mr. Cus-to-mer!

I know.

Uh, can I use your rest room?

Oh, please, use our rest room.

Oh, yeah, we just love it when folk come in here

And use our rest room and then don't buy anything!

Yeah, and that goes for everything in the whole wide world, ok?

Here go the key, mr. Im-por-tant!

Why is it attached to this huge car bumper?

So no one will steal it, genius!

Well, wasn't he wonderful?

Yes. Tch. Yeah, he's probably my favorite customer ever!

Hey!

These are awful!

Look at this. Look what you gave me!

Look at these hot dogs.

These are all rubbery.

Oh, my goodness. What a surprise!

You bought hot dogs for a quarter and they a little stretchy?

Oh, wait a minute. I got...

Hello, newspaper?

Big story.

-Cent hot dogs are not that good.

You are the rudest people ever.

I am never coming in here again!

Do you mean you're not gonna come in here and yell at us again?

Whatever will we do without you?

We is women. We deserve respect.

This is a robbery. Give me all your money!

Oh, I am so scared.

Oh, you're not gonna take all the store's money, are you?

Come on, just hurry it up.

Ooh, are we going too slow for mr. Robber?

I guess mr. Robber couldn't get himself a real job,

So now he gotta go around stealing from other people.

Yeah, maybe mr. Robber should get off of his butt

And go get him a real j-o-b!

Guys, stop making fun of me.

Well, what you gonna do, rob us some more?

Yeah, why don't you take this beef jerky, too?

Yeah, all of this.

I got him!

Ooh. Thank you so much.

What would we have ee-ver did without you?

Ooh, ooh, ooh. You have saved us. You are so my hero!

Ooh, ooh, maybe I think little mr. Hero think he deserve

A fancy hero parade and stuff.

Well, let's give it to him.

Both chanting: you the hero, you the hero, he's a hero, he's a hero...

You know what? I don't appreciate your sarcasm!

You the hero, you the hero, he's a hero, he's a hero...

You know, girl, what time it is?

It's time to get our break!

Time to get our break!

[Dance music plays]

And now, danny tamberelli with vital information

For your everyday life.

If an adult asks you what you want to be when you grow up,

It's not nice to say,

"Well, I want to be a great big loser...just like you!"

You are what you eat.

I am tacos and a stick of butter.

Everyone needs a friend.

And a portable banana pump!

This has been danny tamberelli with vital information.

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪

Good morning!

[Unenthusiastic responses]

Today's science day!

I've been working on my science project for the past months.

It turns water into pure gold!

[Bell rings]

Good morning, class!

Everyone: good morning, miss clump.

Now does anyone remember what we're supposed to do today?

Science project, science project!

It's science day!

Ray?

Uh, yeah, I think she said we were going to get ice cream and go to the zoo.

No, that's not it.

It's science day, it's science day!

I remember. Today is science day!

Yes! Oh, no.

Now, who would like to show their science project first?

Ooh, ooh. Pick me. Ooh!

Anybody? Anybody at all.

Ooh, ooh. Pick me, tillie!

Well, if no one wants to volunteer,

I'm just going to have to pick someone.

Hey, over here. Right here!

And...jasper! Let's see your science project first.

Like now?

Yes, now.

Um, this--this is a stick.

Now--now it's sticks.

Oh!

Very good, jasper.

That science project will have many uses in the computer industry.

Now who's next?

Me, me, me!

Anyone?

Tillie to clump. Tillie to clump.

Pick me. Please, pick me!

Nobody? Fine.

Blaine, it's your turn.

What!

Ah, my science project is...

This stapler! Um...

You see, if I staple my hand,

It will transmit pain impulses to my brain

Via the central nervous system.

See...

Aah!

Aah!

Ooh. Wonderful, blaine.

Who's next?

Shouting: hey! Over here! Pick me!

Please, class. Let's have some enthusiasm for science day.

Hey, what is with you? I'm volunteering.

I wanna show my science project!

Please!

Elmo?

Grrrr!

Oh, um, um...i couldn't bring my science project to class...

Because I built a monster rocket spaceship to the planet neptune!

I--i--i did.

That's an amazing science project.

Can anyone top that?

[Phone rings]

[Ring]

Hello?

Miss clump? This is tillie.

Listen, I've gone to extreme and ridiculous measures

To get your attention!

Why won't you pick me?

Hello? Hello?

Well, no one was there.

Now, who's next?

Somebody, come on now.

Right here, lady. I'm somebody.

Call on me, you batty freak!

That's odd. The lights went out.

Turn them back on again. Festus!

Would you like to show your science project?

Ah, no thanks, I don't wanna go.

I'm ready. I've been ready the whole time.

That does it. I'm tired of volunteering!

Why won't you notice me?

All I wanted to do was show my lousy science project!

I hate science now.

[Gasp] aah!

Aah! Aah!

[Car brakes screech]

[Crash boom bang]

Hmm, now let's see. Tillie, would you like to show your science project?

Tillie?

Well, it looks like I'm going to have to mark tillie absent...

Again!

♪ This is all that♪

And now, all thatpresents a semi-educational moment.

Everyday french with pierre escargot.

Hey!

Pfft!

[Speaking french]

Oh!

[Speaking french]

Oh! Oh-ho!

[Speaking french]

Ow! Whatever rhumba means.

Ha!

Man, whiny voice: hi, everyone...

It's time for ask ashley.

Ashley and audience: that's me!

Hi, I'm ashley and I'm here to answer more of your letters.

Our first letter comes from annabelle joy of arlington, virginia.

Annabelle writes, "dear ashley"...

Ashley and audience: that's me!

"Dear ashley, there's a strange furry thing with legs

"That lives in my house.

"Sometimes it barks at the mailman and chases cats.

"It goes to the bathroom outside, but drinks from the toilet like an animal,

"And I always have to take it on walks.

Ashley, what is this -legged mystery?"

Well, annabelle, I think I might have an idea.

It's your stinking dog!

Your dog, you foolish beef jerky brain!

Hey, annabelle's dog! Are you listening?

Run away!

Because you're obviously much smarter than your owner is!

Man!

Our next letter comes from elizabeth fortee of melontown, california.

Elizabeth writes, "dear ashley"...

Ashley and audience: that's me!

"Dear ashley, I fell down and I don't know what to do.

"I'm sitting here on the ground, and people always walk by

"And ask me if I'm hurt, which I'm not.

"It's been years now, and I sure miss the fun stuff I used to do,

"Like sports and traveling.

Ashley, can you help me?"

Gee, lizzie, here's a thought.

Get off the stinking ground!

Stand up, you ridiculous nimrod!

You say you're not hurt,

But I think when you fell you broke your stinking brain!

Maybe you should try whistling,

And if you whistle loud enough, annabelle joy's mystery dog

Will come along and fetch you a stinking clue!

Man!

Our next letter comes from amy mcclaherty of clearwater, florida.

Amy writes, "dear ashley"...

Ashley and audience: that's me!

"Dear ashley, when I fall asleep at night, I see weird stuff that can't be real.

"Sometimes I do impossible things, like flying.

"Other times it's scary, like when monsters chase me or I go to school naked.

"These crazy visions don't stop until my alarm goes off or my sister pinches me.

What's happening to me, ashley?"

Well, amy, I think I know what's happening.

You're stinking dreaming!

Dreaming, you pathetic dodohead!

And I feel like I'm dreaming right now, because you're a stinking nightmare!

[Sarcastic voice] my name is amy, and I don't know what a dream is.

And blah-de-blah-de- blah-de-blah-de-blah!

Tell you what, amy. Why don't you fly naked over to melontown, california

And pick up elizabeth what's-her-name?

And do I mean pick her up, because she's still sitting on the stinking ground!

Then you can drop in on annabelle joy,

And all three of you can walk her stinking dog to the brain store,

'Cause if you think you've already got brains,

Then you're all dreaming!

Man!

Well, that's all the advice I have for you today.

Bye-bye, everybody!

The show's over.

Oh, yeah. Kick it!