01x03 - Walk of Doom

[bunniefuu]

Yeeeeheee!

I'm running! I'm running!

Aaahhh! Whoo...!

[continues screaming]

Ow! I'm naked!

GIR! Sit still!

I need quiet to repair
your guidance systems box.

I don't need it!

I don't need it!

Done. The finest in
Irken guidance technology

and I have improved it.

With these upgrades, GIR,

there will be nothing
that you cannot find,

no situation that you
cannot guide us out of.

Beeeees!

Now, if we could just
work on your behavior.

Aw, my bees.

You now possess superior
geographic guidance abilities, GIR.

Finally.

Report upgrade status.

Sir, guidance chip in place
and fully functional, sir.

Demonstrate. Which
way is... the school?

Good, GIR.

Now, something tougher.

Where is planet Blorch?

Excellent.

Now, where is our
home planet Irk?

Perfect.

OK, GIR, I think a
field test is in order.

Let's go into the nearby city

and get as lost as we can.

GIR, no cheating.

Shut your chip off first.

Do we have to go right now?

I wanna watch the
scary monkey show.

That monkey.

As soon as we're lost enough,

you just use the chip
to guide us home.

Now, put your disguise back on.

I have devised a new,

even more insidiously
clever disguise for myself.

Be alert, GIR.

On this planet,

we are surrounded by
danger and madness!

I like madness.

[woman screams]

Madness!

OK, I think I've had
my fill of these horrible

stink people things for today!

So activate your guidance chip

and lead the way to home.

Ha ha ha ha.

No. No, GIR, not Irk.

I meant our home
base here on Earth.

Oh, here.

Our house, GIR!

Which direction is our house?

Um... that way.

No, wait. Um...

It's over there.

How could you not know?

I just upgraded your
guidance system.

Oh, I left that at home.

You left what at home?

The guidey chippy thingy.

You?

Why would you do that?!

To make room for the cupcake.

How could you do this?

You've left us
stranded in the middle

of the enemy territory,

surrounded by humans!

I can see that you
understand your mistake, GIR,

and me being angry will
get us no closer to home.

I will just have
to use my innate

Invader survival skills
to get us out of here.

See, GIR, the Almighty Tallest

have not placed their
trust in me without reason.

I miss you, cupcake.

I will use these pieces of scrap
metal to fashion a compass,

using this planet's own
magnetic field against it.

Now, witness the
power of my compass.

Aw, it likes me.

Perhaps a compass is not
the best tool for this situation.

Why don't we ask the
information humans for help?

I will not stoop
as low as to ask

the humans for help.

You speak nonsense, GIR.

We help ourselves.

What... about... the... bus?

Excellent, GIR!

We will use one of their
own methods of transportation

to b*at this revolting city.

Bus driver: Where do
you think you're going?

I go home. Now mind
your business, bus-sl*ve.

You don't go anywhere
without bus fare. [Coughs]

Fare?

This ain't a free
ride, little man.

You need money.

You expect me to pay to
be on this filthy machine?

Have you the brain worms?

Aaahhh!

Fine! I don't need your bus!

I will use the power of
your sun to find my way.

Weirdo.

Are we gonna ride the sun home?

No, GIR!

I can use the Earth's sun to
determine which direction is west.

The Earth's sun
always sets in the west.

Now, watch me amaze you.

Hmm! Mm-mm.

Mmmm.

Wait a minute.

I'm blind!

No! No no!

Ah! Ah! No!

They've booby trapped
their sun somehow!

A minor setback, GIR.

We'll be home in no time.

I'll just wait until the skin
grows back on my eyeballs.

GIR!

I can see.

I can see!

Now we can figure out how
to escape this filthy place.

[mumbling]

Get a job, you bum!

That's it! If we can find a job,

we can make money.

With this money,

we can ride the bus.

I'm going to b*at you, city.

You won't make a fool
of this Irken Invader!

[cheering and applause]

GIR: I'm gonna eat a rat!

Finally, we are heading home.

[traffic sounds]

I smell dookie.

[coughing sounds]

Eek.

I cannot stay on
this bus any longer!

Woman: Freak.

What is wrong
with these people?!

This place is just
begging to be destroyed.

Woo! I like destroying.

GIR... I have a plan.

Ocular implants are
standard Invader issue.

From the top of that building,

my incredible
eyes should be able

to spot our neighborhood.

Come on.

'Kay.

Ice cream!

[grunting] Somebody buy it!

Ice cream. I got ice cream.

[sirens]

[cars screech]

Oh!

It's him!

Hey, that's the guy!

And he's back for...

Mooooore...!

Get him!

Aaahhh!

[GIR giggling]

Aaahhh!

OK, now, where do
we go from here?

There! That looks about right.

Now, GIR, use your
jets to fly us home.

Yes, sir!

Aaaaaahhhhh!

[cat meows]

What happened? How did
you run out of fuel that quickly?

I emptied it out.

Emptied it? Why?

To make room for the tuna.

OK.

Hey!

[coughing] Where to?

You think I won't be ready.

But you're wrong,
presumptuous cab-beast.

I have prepared
myself for this moment,

and it has paid off in full!

You see, the Invaders
learn from their mistakes,

however rare they may be.

Now, human, take
me to... that way!

And quickly.

In case you haven't noticed,

I've been trying to go home!

[music]