01x11 - Battle-Dib

[bunniefuu]

We'll be back with more

mind-shattering
adventures in science

in just a moment,

when Professor Membrane returns!

[breathing heavily]

Whoa! Whoa!

Audience tryouts are on
the other side of the building.

No, I have to get in to
see Professor Membrane.

Ah!

Nobody gets in to see
Professor Membrane

without a security clearance.

You don't get it.
He's my dad! Ah!

Really, I need him
to sign-- Eeeehh!

Will you cut that out?

If I don't get him to sign this,

the world as we know
it will be destroyed!

OK, you explain it to me.

OK.

Agent Mothman, your fellow
Swollen Eyeball members

agree to see this
presentation of yours

at o'clock sharp tonight,

but you will need a
signed permission slip

to attend tonight's meeting.

Are you kidding?

I need my dad's permission
to save the world?

Don't try faking
a signature either.

The paper is programmed to
explode in just such an event.

Well, they at least
gave me this chance

to present my findings on Zim.

I can't mess this up.

Mankind depends on it!

Aah! Hey!

Gaz. What are you doing here?

I can't believe I
don't have handcuffs

to lock this thing to my wrist.

OK, checklist: briefcase...

permission slip...

extra copy of permission
slip just in case.

I think that's it.

Oh, yeah! Thanks, Gaz!

Don't wanna starve to
death while saving the Earth!

Let it be known
that from this day

until the end of the day,

vengeance will be mine.

Dib, you will not know
the meaning of peace,

for I shall rain misery down
upon your pizza-stealing heart!

I thought I'd help you out.

Thank you, Gaz.

It's about time
somebody helped out.

You'd think people
would be a little more

eager to help fight off
an invading alien swarm.

Now, if you would
just show me to the...

Aaahh!

Professor Membrane
is sh**ting his show.

The only way
you'll get to see him

is if you make it
into the audience.

But he's my dad!

Other side of the building!

Aaahhh!

Fan boy.

Ah!

This is the Professor Membrane
audience admissions exam.

You need to take an
exam to be in the audience?

This exam will test your
knowledge of science, math,

and the personal history
of Professor Membrane.

How am I supposed to know what
Dad's first sentient thought was?

It was "I will poop now."

It's here in his autobiography.

That's not it. It's...

How did you get in here?

I took the staff entrance.

There's a staff entrance?

Fine. Maybe I don't
know Dad's first poop,

but I can b*at this test with my
superior knowledge of science.

percent. Your score is...

Unacceptable!

Ah!

Ah!

Evaluating.

. percent.

Your score is... acceptable!
Congratulations!

[victory music]

OK, that was annoying.

But at least it was easy.

Ah!

Welcome to the audience
admissions test round two!

Round two?

Hah!

Gaz?

Staff entrance.

Junior scientists,
choose your science tool!

OK.

Now, let the battle begin!

Battle?

Feel the power of Shunk Wugga!

Ah!

Ah!

Don't worry, small friend.

Shunk have plan.

We end in tie and
we both go see show.

What? OK -- Shunk, was it?

Ooh!

Point goes to
contestant number !

All of Shunk's
dreams not come true!

I'm not sure what
kind of test this is, Gaz,

but I seem to be doing ok.

[shudders]

Little guy betray me.

Shunk feel hurt
like never before.

You know he said
he could slice you...

like a pizza.

And that your head is
hideously misshapen.

No!

Battle two of three!

Test your knowledge of
combustion with pyro-chaos!

What does this have
to do with science?!

[grunting]

Come down.

No.

Come down and face Shunk.

No.

Shuuuuuunk!

How did you pass the verbal
portion of the exam, anyway?

Ah-aaahhh!

Announcer: Score
goes to contestant two!

Let the tie-breaker begin!

[out of breath]

It may be time to
change strategies.

Yeah? Maybe I can help.

Tell Shunk I'm willing to
reconsider his offer for a tie.

Dib says he wants
you to explode...

and your head is still big.

Doctor say big head
not mean anything bad.

Shunk not bad.

Shunk eat enemy!

Announcer: Prepare
for the final contest...

Testing your knowledge
of the insect world

and cybernetic death machines.

Cybarachnorama!

Cybarachno... Spider robots?

Do spiders have robots?

Hey, Shunk, how about
we do that tie thing now?

Big head kid go off
and explode, huh?

Yaaahh!

See? It's a tie. This
way we both win.

Shunk destroy!

[buzzer sounds]

The winner is Shuuuunk Wugga!

All losers leave
the arena... now!

Wait! I'm Dr. Membrane's son!

Run a DNA test!

You've gotta believe meee!

Come on, listen to me! Let me...

Aaaaaahhhhhh!

Gaz, help me!

I'm sorry about your
tacos or whatever!

Just help me!

Excuse me, do you have a pen?

Here you go.

Forgery alert.

This permission slip will
self-destruct in seconds.

Hey, get back here!

Watch out!

[out of breath]
Dad's dressing room

must be around here somewhere!

You gotta sign this!

For the sake of all mankind!

Now, now, I don't sign
autographs backstage, little boy.

Little boy?

Dad, I'm your...

There's the intruder! Get him!

Nooo!

Planet Earth... doomed!

Next time we'll call your
parents or... legal guardian!

This is awful.

When the aliens have
come and we're all slaves

to their alien evil,

will the world ever
know how hard I tried?

Will they? Huh? Huh?

Oh yeah, Professor
autographed this for you.

My permission slip. I
can give my presentation!

I did it!

The world is saved!

Ha ha ha ha!

Ah!

My fellow Eyeballs,

I won't make you
wait any longer.

What you are about
to hear and see will...

um... will...

uh...

Could we reschedule this?

Zim: Obey the fist!