01x13 - Hamstergeddon

[bunniefuu]

[school bell rings]

[beeping]

[children whimpering]

Ooh.

Eee!

Aah!

[squeaks]

[children oohing and ahhing]

By order of the
school board's program

to reduce misery
among schoolchildren,

this class is issued
one classroom pet.

Hamster, class. Name -- Peepi.

Oh, Peepi. It's so cute.

Look at his little Peepi face.

He's like a little
fuzzy Peepi person!

[baby-talking]

Aah!

Do I even have to say
anything at this point?

If you are referring
to my reaction

to that hair... monster,

I can assure you that, like
the other normal children,

I find it, uh...

Cute. The word is "cute."

Humans think hamsters are cute.

Zim: Yes.

This cuteness has a curious
effect on human beings,

makes them weak.

[pounding footsteps]

[roaring]

[people oohing and ahhing]

People of Earth,

can you resist
the hypnotic power

of Peepi?

Now, kneel before Zim!

[crowd chanting] Peepi, Peepi...

Zim: Have some of this!

Ms. Bitters: Take a
good look, children.

It will prepare you
for your adult lives

in our nightmarish
corporate system.

Hmm, yes.

- It just might work.
- Dib: Hmm?

[squeaking]

[door opens]

[straining]

Minute .

If you're determined to let
the blood rush to your head --

huh -- you better
have trained for it.

Ms. Bitters, have you noticed
anything strange about the hamster?

He's times his size and he has that
hideous throbbing alien device on his back.

[burps]

Zim: The Earth boy
is trying to interfere.

Now is the time to use that
Peepi creature's cuteness

to divert attention.

[crash]

[cracking]

[children screaming]

This is a little
ahead of schedule.

[squeaks]

[car horns honking]

Yes, my creation!

Grow! Grow!

[roars]

[men screaming]

Woman: Aah!

Now, Peepi,

come to your master!

Peepi?
[Car alarm]

Peepi!

Oh, Peepi!

Peepi!

Anything you'd like to confess?

No! Don't be silly.

[screaming]

Announcer: Experts are still
baffled over the origins of Ultra-Peepi,

the giant mutant hamster
now ravaging the city.

But they all agree, he's just
fuzzy wuzzy adorable, isn't he?

He sure is.

Aah!

[people screaming]

[roars]

Woman: Oh, no! Oh! Oh...

Oh, look! He's using the
building like a toothpick.

Come here! You must obey me!

I am your lord and
hamster master!

No, no! Don't fear the Peepi!

Fear me! Fear me!

[Peepi roaring]

Well, he does seem to
be destroying the humans,

and that is good.

Uh, good job, Peepi!

I'll just wait until
you're all done here.

- Carry on.
- Man: Help!

Help!

Aw, wook at his wittle feet.

Aah!

Man: I don't care what the blazes
it wants. I just want it stopped.

But, General,

I couldn't fire a m*ssile

at that furry little face.

Could you?

Men: Uh-uh. No, no. Mm-mm.

Dib: Wait! I have important information
about Ultra-Peepi! You have to listen!

Now, let the boy talk.

He's not a normal hamster.

He's been altered somehow
through alien tampering.

Eating makes him larger!

The more he eats,
the bigger he gets!

Good work, boy!
How do we stop it?

I... don't know.

Get him out of here!

Dib: Hey! [Grunting]

General! We think we
know where he's going!

[distant sirens blaring]

[juvenile music playing]

What are you watching?

Angry Monkey.

That... Horrible monkey!

Mm-hmm. Where's Ultra-Peepi?

He's working.

[news theme interrupts]

Announcer: Reports are now in

that Ultra-Peepi is out
at the city's pellets plant.

If he reaches the reserve
supply of hamster pellets,

he could grow to
unimaginable proportions.

[distant thumping]
What is that noise?

[birds chirping]

[pounding footsteps]
[gasps]

No!

You will not destroy
your master's secret base!

I command you to stop!

Obey your creator!

[roars]

You made me do this, Peepi.

I hate to be the bad guy,
but you must be disciplined,

or you'll never learn.

[roars]

[roaring]

Zim: Hey, Peepi, check this out.

Never thought I'd see that.

Peepi! Turn back now!

Do not invoke the
wrath of the Irken elite!

Zim: Aah! Aah...

He's unconscious!

Wait!

If I capture him now,

no one will be able
to stop the hamster!

But if I let him
go to fight Peepi,

he's just going to keep on
trying to destroy mankind.

This stinks.

OK.

So if I saves him,

then he'll move on
to destroy mankind

and upset the balance of the
entire Earth, which is what I've...

GIR! Come get me!

GIR: Yes, my lord! [Grunts]

But if the hamster goes
on to save mankind--

Wait, wait, wait.
No, that's not right.

The hamster doesn't-- Wait!

Zim! Promise me you're
on our side this time.

I know not of
"sides," Earth stink,

but just this once,
I agree with you.

The hamster must be stopped.

No! Oh, wait.

Yeah. Go on, then.

[pounding footsteps]

[funk playing]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Ultra-Peepi ♪

Ready, unit ? Fire on my Mark.

, --

Oh, just look at him.

Zim: Peepi!

Peepi!

The weenie tempts you!

[roaring]

Aah!

Now we're being
att*cked by giant weenies.

Get the weenie! Get it!

Yes, Ultra-Peepi.

Yes! Obey!

Yes, yes, yes!

No! Bad Peepi!

Don't eat the wheel! Huh?

OK, let's try and go with
the hamster this time.

We got to use this
stuff on something.

Dib: Don't att*ck!

The alien is trying to
get rid of the hamster!

Don't interrupt his plans!

Boy's crazy. Put him in
one of them crazy buckets.

[grunting]

Grr! No time to spare!

Fine, Ultra-Peepi.
You had this coming.

- [sniffling] Why?
- Dib: Why?

Because alien tampering
with our life forms is dangerous

and ends in pain-- Aah!

Because when you create
a giant monster of doom,

no matter how cute, you
have to... you have to...

I don't know.

[sniffling]

But stop sniveling,
little worm monkey.

Ultra-Peepi will
live on, out there,

in the stars.

Zim: You're dooky!