01x26 - FBI Warning of Doom

[bunniefuu]

Aarrghh! My intestines!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

[phone rings]

Hey, man. It's been
weeks since you rented

Intestines of w*r.

It's days overdue!

Hello? Hello?!

Who is it?

I gonna watch it again.

I gonna watch it again!

This is the th time, GIR!

You have to stop
watching this thing or...

Oh! What is that?!

A warning. Oh, no! Oh, noooo!

F-B-I?

Who is this FBI?

What are they trying
to warn us about?

Shhhh!

Ahhhh!

[phone rings]

Return that movie!

You got any of them taquitos?

Computer, give me all
the information you have

on the FBI.

The FBI is a government
law enforcement agency.

Continue.

Insufficient data.

Insufficient data?

Can't you just make
an educated guess?

Okaaay.

Uh...

Founded in by, uh...

demons... the FBI is a
cr*ck law enforcement agency

designed to ehh...

I dunno... fight aliens?

I knew it! This is bad...

This is so bad.

GIR! That movie is some kind of

government spying tool!

Quickly, eat it!

[phone rings]

[ring!]

Hello?

[Changing voices] Hello. Hello.

[voice deeper] Good. OK.

Hello? How may I help you today?

I'm through playing around!

You better return
that video or else!

This is your final warning!

I'm sorry, I do not know

what you are talking about.

I am normal.

If that thing isn't
in the drop off box

by the time we open tomorrow,

you're gonna paaayyy...

late fees.

I wanna rent this one!

Why? So you can keep
it for weeks and weeks

and not return it?

What about all the other
people who want to watch it?

You ever think about them?

Huh? Huh?

[crying] Waaaahhh!

That was them.

I have to return this thing now.

No! I'm still watching it.

I wanna see what happens.

I need it!

Whyyyyeeee!

Waaaahhhh...!

[snoring]

They've locked
down their fortress...

With locks!

OK, nothing I can't handle.

I'm returning this stupid movie

no matter how hard
they try to keep me out.

Rest easy, various
retail outlets.

Sergeant Slab Rankle
is on the job.

Sleep tight, Deelishus Weenie.

Your seedy buns will
go unharmed this night.

Ah, the Video Outhouse.

Slumber well, sweet
Video Outhouse,

with your video treasures
nestled deep within

your vulnerable belly.
Slab's on the job.

[alarm]

What's this?

[alarm continues ringing]

Let's see... Video Outhouse,
Video Outhouse.

Fourth floor, D ...

[static]

Ah! They know I'm here!

The mall is closed!

You are in direct violation
of code slash .

Prepare to face my wrath!

Who are you?

Sergeant Slab Rankle.

Serial number F ,

and you are in direct violation.

I violate nothing!

I've come to return
this video disc

and there is nothing that your
precious FBI can do to stop me.

The FBI?

Ha ha ha ha!

Nothing but amateurs.

No, my friend, I'm
afraid you're tangling with

someone far worse than the FBI.

You've just crossed...
mall security.

Security? You're
not the FBI? Huh?

I worried for nothing.

This is just a
typical Earth store.

I've let my fears
get the best of me.

Heh heh heh.

I'm very funny.

[loud clicking sounds]

Aaahhh!

The game begins.

There!

Simple.

This little stink man
will not get in my way.

Ooh!

Ah!

[ringing]

Release me!

Release me or suffer
the wrath of Zim!

We meet at last,
young trespasser.

Quiet! There'll be time
for you to grovel later.

Tell me something...

Do you understand the
concept of business hours?

Do you? Well, do you!!!

We have rules for a reason, boy!

Without them,
there is only chaos.

And chaos is... oogh...

I don't even
want to think of it.

Could you just drop that
disc in the slot behind you

and let me go with a warning?

I'm afraid not.

This is evidence.

And as for letting you go... no!

Good job, Slab Rankle.

Your country commends you.

Thank you, Mr. President.

Aaaahhhh!

Ugh!

Whoa! Oh, man!

An alien! An alien!

Uhh!

False alarm.

Rankle got you, too, huh?

Welcome to our
little club... of doom!

Who are you people?

We've all got our
reasons for being here.

Shoplifting, loitering, singing.

I said I was sorry.

What can I do?

I got the music in my soul!

He caught me
sleeping during my shift.

When you break the rules,

Rankle sends you here.

Every couple of days,

he takes someone away.

They never come back.

Some say he just lets them go.

Me? I say he takes
them and turns them

into horrible zombie soldiers

in that new zombie lab

they just put in out back.

But I don't want to
be a zombie soldier.

Has anyone ever escaped?

The only guy who ever escaped...

Never made it out.

Heh?

Mmmyep.

There is hope!

With the proper guidance,
anything is possible

and I'm telling you right now,

you can get out of this cell!

If you only believe
that you can,

then you can! Trust me!

Rise, my fellow prisoners!

Rise up and use
your revolting limbs

to escape this prison.

That's it! Yes, climb
on top of each other

and form a stairway.

A stairway of hope
and cooperation.

It's time to run free through
your hideous streets once more!

If we work together,

we can get out of here!
Who's with me?!

[cheers and whistles]

And don't worry
Lemonade on a Stick stand.

Your brave protector,
Slab Rankle

will remain ever vigilant.

We're doing it! We're doing it!

Yes! Onward to freedom!

You see what can be accomplished

if you just work together?

Hello?

Hello?

Hey, over here!

Do not fear, Lard House.

I'll keep your many
enemies at bay.

And you...

What?

It's not that easy, my friend.

Slab Rankle is not that easy

to pull one over and
defeat Slab, and...

Rankle and-and Slab and...

Time for the zombies!

Zombies?!

[zombies moaning]

Nothing can stop Zim! Nothing!

Not even this filthy
army of zombies.

Look out.

Wait! Stop!

It appears I have met my match.

You have bested
my zombie soldiers

and are a worthy opponent.

You have my congratulations,

nay, you have my admiration.

Huh?

Don't you see?

If the two of us
combined forces,

nothing could stop us!

Join me. Together...

we will rule the mall!

Eh... no. That's ok.

I guess it's my lonely duty

to stand guard.

Sleep tight, sweet mall.

Everything's ok.

I'm here, baby.

I'm here.

[GIR screaming]