01x28 - Abducted

[bunniefuu]

[crash!]

Wa... ha ha ha ha ha!

So, you're saying the
humans are dumb ...Yet tall?

How is that even possible?

I mean, how could
anything tall be dumb?

Yeah! Huh? Huh?!

Can you imagine? Huh?

Huh? Huh?

I assure you,
it's really quite...

Door... bell.

Uh... hold on.

GIR!

GIR! Remember with your brains.

You must behave like
a human dog-monster.

Do you understand?

I reeeeally don't.

GIR!

Human dogs don't speak.

Oooh!

Now, go answer the door.

[making noises]

Ah, yes. Where were we?

Oh, yeah. Huh? Huh?

Howdy, squishy.

We are here to vomit language

with the young man

who lives in this shelter unit.

What?! We're not aliens.

Ho! Aliens. Ha.
That's a good one.

[both laugh]

So how tall are they?

Perhaps as tall
as you, my Tallest.

And somehow -- and I'm just
trying to get this straight here --

somehow they're dumb?

Like the dull-witted
gushkweegasplorch!

I see. Fascinating.

Yes, it is fascinating.
But I don't see.

Hello? My Tallest?

Where have you gone?

GIR!

GIR, what have
you done to the...

Who are you?

Howdy. Perfectly normal
human worm baby.

We are your new neighbors.

You're wearing costumes!

[nervously] No, we aren't.

Yes, you are.

You're not human at all.

You're aliens.

Your ship is emitting
an interference field,

and it just interrupted
a very important call.

Uh... right. Plan two.

Ugh-ugh-uh... what's plan two?

Stuff him in a sack!

GIR! Defensive mode!

Zim: Who are you?

Foolish Earthling!

You have fallen victim
to our clever plan.

He sure did, pa.

You threw me in a sack.

Silence!

You have been chosen as a
perfect specimen of the human race

and will be added to
our collection of life forms.

But...

Do not attempt to resist us!

We have spent hundreds
of your Earth years

harvesting the galaxy,
haven't we?

Adding to our collection.

Well, where are they?

They escaped.

Ooh, ooh! Don't say that.

It might give him ideas.

Eeehhh!

But I'm not human.

See? Not human.

Only a brilliant disguise.

I can see how you
could be fooled, but...

You are human!

We have proof!

I know what you are, Zim.

I'm human. Yep, human.
Human, human.

Just look at my neck.

I was lying!

Surely you've heard
of the mighty Irken race.

We don't get that TV no more.

I read a lot, though.

How do you explain
the dog then, eh, eh?

Humans keep dogs as pets.

[alien stuttering]

Yeah! The dog! 'Splain it!

This is GIR.

He's disguised as
a dog, you fools!

GIR! Cast off your
amazing doggy ruse

and show them your
mighty robot form!

Woo-hoo!

Hi, there!

Would you look at that.

You see?

Now, if you could just...

What a smart dog!

Come here, doggie.

Yee hee hee hee!

Oh, come on!

He will make a fine
addition to our collection.

Could you just,
maybe, drop me off?

Impossible!

We've gone past the
point of no retuuuurn.

But my house is
right down there.

I could probably just
jump onto the roof.

Wait!

You're hovering above an
Earth neighborhood in plain sight?

Do you think we're stupid?

We're using advanced
cloaking technology, aren't we?

Our ship is disguised
and perfectly unnoticeable.

Uh... looka that.

It's one of them orca whales.

But enough philosophy.

We haven't been talking about...

Let the hideous
experiments begin.

We will begin by fusing
you to another human being.

That's no human being.
That's a gopher!

Silence!

Begin the fusion.

Oh, incredible. Incredible work.

Success.

Alien : Thank you, thank you.

What should we do next?

Oh, let's fuse
him with this juice.

No, no. We've already proven our
mastery of the fusing technology.

Awww! But juice! Juice!

Look, I'm the captain

and I'm sick of you always
fusing things to my juice.

Ooh, I know.

Why don't we test how
he reacts to having things

shoved through his head?

Shoving?! No, no!

His head's just
begging for juice fusion.

The human is escaping!

Eeeuuuggghh!

Stop him!

Run, gopher! Go for help!

[crash!]

Oh, well, look at that.

Oh! Another escape?

Is it just me? Is it me? Huh?

There must be some
way off this stupid thing.

Hello? Over here!

We shouldn't have fused him.

We made him twice as powerful.

Twice as deadly!

I'm telling you, that juice woulda
slowed him down but good.

Hey. What are you?

I don't even know anymore.

They've fused me so many times.

Everyone else they
kidnap escapes,

but I'm so heavy now,
so disgusting!

What's this thing?

How do they get away?

That duct up there leads to
the emergency escape ships.

If only I had an arm or
a leg, or maybe... yes!

Someone to help me get there.

Won't you please help me?

Hello?

Hello.

[weeping]

And what if the juice had
made him more powerful?

Did you ever think of that?

Whoa, whoa, wait.

Are we talking about
the same juice? Hmm?

When's the last time
you cleaned yourself?

Define self.

GIR! Come to Zim!

Oh! Now look at that!

The other one's getting away!

Oh! Look at him go.

Hold on to something, GIR.

Uuuhhh... hmm.

Gah! I thought I told you

to lock the escape ship room.

Oh, just 'cause
I didn't lock it,

it's my fault it was unlocked?

Is that what you're
trying to say?

That's what I'm saying, yes!

Fine, fine.

If it makes you feel better

to pretend I'm stupid, duhhh...

Then go ahead!

I'm gonna fuse these other
humans to the blob thing.

Fine. You do that.

I'm setting coordinates for
the next Earthling specimen:

The Earth weasel.

Zim: Sorry, my Tallest.

I may have found a species
even dumber than the humans.

Were they... tall?